This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
THROUGH THE PIECES
First edition. July 12, 2016. Copyright © 2016 Bobbi Jo Bentz.
Written by Bobbi Jo Bentz.
Trigger Warning
This story contains scenes of violence and/or sexual assault which may be a trigger to survivors.
If you or someone you know may need help please contact:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
These places are available 24/7 and can find you help in your area.
This book is dedicated to Annabel, Siobah'n, Lucy and Maggie.
To all the survivors, together we can end violence. Your voice matters.
May you always know your own strength.
Table Of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About The Author
Prologue
Claire
When I was young I always dreamed of having a happy family. My husband would love me, and our children would want for nothing. There would be family game night, eating supper at the dining room table, and weekend outings. This is not what I got; instead, I got an abusive man, who in the few years we were together, would terrorize and hurt me.
Sometimes the life you want isn't the life you get.
Sometimes you fall for the wrong man.
Sometimes the man you love will hurt you.
Sometimes you have to pick up the shattered pieces and move on.
After my weekly support group, I pulled my car up the driveway. I was going to run to our neighbor's house to collect our daughter, Maggie when I noticed lights in the living room. My husband, Scott, was never home at this time. My stomach dropped and I felt my heartbeat quicken. Usually he would be at Mickey's, the local bar, and would not come home until after midnight. I climbed the cracked cement steps and turned the door handle. As I pushed on the door, it swung inward effortlessly to reveal an angry Scott. He loomed over me in the dim light, arms crossed over his chest. My hands instantly began to sweat; I tried to control my breathing. The scowl on his face dared me to meet his gaze. I could hear his breathing. When I peeked up at him I noticed his glassy eyes. Panic set in and my body froze. I felt locked in place.
"Where the FUCK have you been Claire?"
"I--I--I went to visit a friend..." I stammered, knowing he would misinterpret my nervousness as dishonesty.
"Really? Since when do you have friends?" He sneered. "I had an interesting conversation with one of the bartenders at Mickey's tonight. Seems she has a sister, and she met you at a support group. Is this sounding familiar yet, you STUPID BITCH? Are you telling stories about me?" He grabbed my arm, his fingers biting into my skin as he forced me into the living room. I recoiled, biting my tongue to keep from yelping out, shaking violently. He pushed me so hard I fell forward onto my hands and knees.
"Get up," he commanded.
I resisted the urge to sob and swallowed my escalating fear. As I was about to stand, he yanked my hair, pulling hard until I was upright. His hands never letting go of their cruel assault of my long brown hair. It felt as if it was being ripped from the scalp. With his other hand on my back, he shoved me forcefully into the curio cabinet. I let out a strangled scream. The glass shattered on impact, pieces showered down around me, cutting into my skin. I was sure my skull had cracked. Pain rippled through my body.
"YOU HAVE EMBARRASSED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!"
I managed to get on all fours when his boot connected with my ribs, toppling me against the curio. I barely had time to prepare for the next kick, right to the face, my cheek exploding in agony. Another blow to my chest knocked the wind out of me. My mind started to drift. Images appeared--my sisters and I running in fields, laughing, dancing, singing. I saw my beautiful daughter, cherub face, bright blue eyes sparkling, long, blonde curls bouncing as she ran towards me, her sweet voice murmuring, "I love you, Mommy." I tried to cup her face, but she vanished from my sight. Everything went dark. My last thought was regret that I may never see my little Maggie again.
I opened my eyes but Scott was gone. I didn’t know how much time had passed. It was dark in the room, just a fraction of light filtering in from the hallway. I searched with my hands for something to protect myself, my fingers closing around a piece of glass. I could not hear him and that terrified me. Staggering to my feet, I crept across the floor, holding the shard of glass in front of me like a knife. Shaking uncontrollably, I paused in the doorway of the living room. The house was too quiet. Oh my God, where was he? Peeking around the corner, down the barely lit hallway, I felt the glass cut into my hand as my grip tightened reflexively. Making my way to the end of the hall, I finally heard him snoring. A furtive glance into the bedroom revealed his prone form stretched across the bed. He had passed out. I quickly made my way to the kitchen. I had to get out. I had to get Maggie.
I went to the pantry and found my little money stash behind some cans. My nerves were on edge and I kept glancing over my shoulder. This was almost too easy. I stuffed the money in my back pocket and grabbed my purse. Quietly pulling the front door closed behind me, I crossed the yard to my neighbor Sandy's house.
I had no idea how long I was unconscious, I just hoped Sandy was not angry. As I reached her house, I looked over my shoulder to make sure Scott was not going to jump out from behind a bush and grab me. I was so close to freedom, I was shaky with fear or nerves. I gently tapped on the door, craning my head for any sound to indicate they were still up. I tapped a bit louder just as the door opened and the porch light came on. I had to shield my eyes from the sudden brightness.
"Claire? What did he do?” Sandy’s confused voice made me realize how I must look.
"I am here to pick up Maggie?" It came out as a question.
Without hesitation, she pulled me inside, wrapping her arms around me as she closed the door with her foot. "Oh, Claire, honey. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?"I shook my head, unable to enunciate what I was feeling. I followed her into the living room and took a seat on the couch. “You sit here a minute, sweetie. I’ll be right back.” She brushed the hair from my face in a tender gesture before continuing on to the kitchen.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
Sandy had been like a mother to me since we’d moved in four years earlier. She was always fussing over Maggie and was, in fact, the only one I trusted to watch her. She had a play-set for her grandchildren in the backyard, where Maggie played for hours. She was the only one I was allowed to talk to--the only relationship Scott hadn’t destroyed. Maggie even called her Nana. When she re-emerged from the kitchen, she was carrying a plastic baggie full of ice, peroxide and towels. She sat down next to me and handed m
e the ice. "I am going to clean you up. You don't have to say anything, but answer me this, are you leaving?"
I nodded, tears building in my eyes.
"Good." She dabbed at my face with the towel. "I am going to talk, but you just sit and listen. I’ve turned a blind eye to what’s been going on for far too long. But I can't anymore. You need to leave and never come back. You don’t deserve this and neither does Maggie. You know I love you two more than anything, so if you take that piece of shit back, I will never forgive you." The tone of her voice was affectionate, but firm.
Amused at her use of profanity, I smiled until it hurt. Scott’s damned work boots must have done a number on me.
Doctoring my battered face as best she could, Sandy then collected my sleeping girl and helped buckle her in the back of my car. She came to the driver’s window and gently stroked my face, tears in her eyes. She gave me a knowing nod.
"Thank you." I finally croaked out.
#
Choking back tears, I sped up as I continued down the dark highway. It was just beginning to rain, so I switched on the wipers. I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to ease the pain that pounded through me. The metallic taste of blood lingered in my mouth. I glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure I was not being followed, then at Maggie in her booster seat. She was slumped against the door, her head at an uncomfortable angle, but sleeping soundly. We had been driving for about two hours; I was tired, hurt, and scared. This was not what my life was supposed to be like. I was headed north to my sister's place. She knew that my relationship with Scott was anything but healthy.
Although a year younger at twenty four, Annie had her life together. Unlike me. When I’d called her earlier that night, I didn't even have to ask if I could stay with her. She just asked when I would be there and made me promise to drive safely. My hand trembled as I replayed the night's events in my mind. My only comfort was in knowing that Maggie had not witnessed the incident.
Scott and I had met in college and hit it off right away. He was charming and sweet at first. By the time the red flags started to show, I was already pregnant. Scott had never laid a finger on me until I was about four months along. It was only an open hand to my cheek, and I convinced myself it was a one time thing. He promised it would never happen again and begged for my forgiveness. How could I leave the father of my child? I had dropped out of college with Scott’s insistence, and he was working at a local factory to make ends meet. Then the stress of taking care of us became a burden on him. He began to resent me and the fact he had to work at a factory.
In the years following, we had good days and very bad days. He began to drink all the time, and I lost myself along the way. Gradually it dawned on me that the environment was too toxic to raise a child, but by then I was trapped.
Chapter 1
Claire
I awoke the next morning to laughter. Why were people laughing while I was dying? My ribs felt as if someone had thrust a sharp, burning knife into them. My arm was throbbing, along with my head. When we’d finally reached Annie's house, I was too tired to do anything but crawl in bed with Maggie. Maggie! I felt around the bed, but she was not there. I sat up slowly and tried to open my eyes. Great. My face was swollen and tender to the touch. A brisk knock was followed by Annie popping her head around the door.
"If you don't have coffee you need to leave," I muttered.
"Oh, I have coffee." Annie entered, bearing a steaming, fragrant mug.
"You are a Saint." My greedy hands reached out to take the liquid goodness, and I took a quick sip. Ah.
"How are you feeling?" Annie inquired, ruining my coffee bliss.
"Horrible," I grunted.
"Well, we need to get you in to see a doctor, pronto. Looks like you could use something for the pain," Annie continued. "Do you want to talk about it? You're not going back are you? Should we call the police? Have I told you I love you?"
"First, yes, I will go see the doctor, no I do not want to talk about it, and I love you too! Gah! You ask too many questions. I can't remember the rest," I said in joking tone.
"Okay, good. These are for you." She pulled out a big pair of sunglasses.
"Thanks, Annie." The reality of the situation was setting in. I bit down on my lip. Scott and I were through. I would need to find work, find a place to live, and figure out how to keep my daughter. Scott would definitely try to get custody to hurt me. Maybe I should file a police report and restraining order. I tried to stand, the pain almost unbearable, radiating throughout my body. With shaky steps I made my way to the bathroom to assess my condition.
The sight I saw in the mirror made me tear up instantly. My normally green eyes were unrecognizable. One was starting to bruise, and there was a red mark stretching from my cheek to my temple. My hair was lackluster and matted down. I looked down at my arm and noticed tiny cuts from the glass. I pulled my shirt up and to inspect my ribs. There was already a dark mass the circumference of a grapefruit. Without warning, the tears began to fall. This man was supposed to love me. How can someone say they love you and in the next moment hurt you?
"Mommy, where are you?" The sweet sound of Maggie's voice brought me back. I slid my glasses on and put my hair long hair up in a messy bun.
"In the bathroom, Maggie! I'll be right out." I quickly checked myself one last time and stepped into the hallway.
"Mommy, I was playing with Rose, then we played with the dog Boris but he stinks. Rose says he farts, and then we had pancakes. Are we going to stay long?" Maggie gushed.
"Oh yeah, you like staying here?"
"I love it here! We are going outside with Uncle Matt, he's going to show us his deer, he says it's GREEN!" Maggie's enthusiasm was truly astonishing.
"A green deer?" I asked as I followed her down the stairs. Annie and Matt lived out in the country in a rural community about 20 miles from Green Bay, WI. They had bought an old farm house with a wraparound porch, and an old barn. They were constantly fixing this or that, but they loved their home.
"That's what he said, come on hurry!"
I tried to keep up with my darling four year old, but she was out the door before I was even down the stairs. I started for the door when I caught sight of the infamous Boris sprawled on the living room floor. When he saw me, he lumbered to his feet and galumphed over to me wagging his tail, tongue hanging. If I had to guess what breed of dog he was I would say Black lab mixed with horse. He rubbed his body against my leg and nearly knocked me over.
"Hey there Boris, I haven't seen you since you were a puppy, you got....Big!" Boris must have taken this as his cue to let me know how much he liked the compliment because he plopped his butt down on the ground and looked up at me like I was the best thing he had ever seen. I continued to rub his head until the worst smell in the world hit my nose. It was a cross between rotten eggs and stinky socks. I gagged and backed away.
"Oh my gosh, you stink!" I said, covering my face with my arm, hoping it would keep the smell from penetrating. I backed away from him slowly, afraid he could explode any second. I needed to escape. How could a dog or any living thing make such a smell? My exit was only a few feet away. I was about to turn, when I ran right into a brick wall, and it grabbed me.
"Wow, that's some smell," the deep, smooth voice said. I had to crane my neck to take him all in--he was at least six foot five. He had broad shoulders and looked like someone chiseled his face from marble. Good thing I had sworn off men forever.
"I heard you were sick, but didn't think it was that bad," he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. It was his eyes that I noticed next--the clearest blue I ever had seen.
"What? Wait it was the dog!!" I turned at least three shades red. How could he possibly think I made that smell?
"Don't be embarrassed. It's not the best thing I have smelled, and it's not the worst. Although it comes pretty close to the worst," he said with a chuckle.
"Listen, I don't know who you are, and I don't care, but that was not me, you--y
ou jerk ass!" I stammered.
"Jerk ass? Is that your attempt to insult me? By the way what is a Jerk Ass?” A smile played on his lips. Those crystal blue eyes were probably able to make any woman swoon. Not me though. I was insulted, hurt, and embarrassed.
"It was the first thing that popped in my head. Just please move your tallness out of my way so I can go outside with my daughter," I exclaimed in a voice that seemed stronger than it had ever sounded. I could not even look at him. What the hell was a jerk ass? Why did it even pop out of my mouth. I simply amazed myself sometimes. Stupid man, who did he think he was coming in my sister's house and accusing me of smelling, when clearly it was the dog? No human could make that smell. Well no human I would ever want to meet.
Oh, good. You two met," Annie called as she entered the house.
"What the hell? Oh good we met, not ‘get out of here, you complete stranger that is RUDE to my sister’? I asked, my arms in the air for dramatic effect. The sound of my daughter’s giggle seemed to penetrate my bubble of embarrassment. I looked over to see all the amused faces of my audience.
"Mommy, you look like you’re dancing!" Maggie giggled and began to shake her backside. Annie, of course, mocked my gestures.
"Not the best dance I have ever seen either," the jerk ass put in. I really hated him. This started a whole new bout of laughter from my precious sister and daughter. Traitors. Oh, and Jerk Ass got the laughter bug as well. I crossed my arms over my chest, really wanting to pout, but damn, I couldn’t help but laugh myself. Maggie ran over to me and started jumping up and down, wanting me to dance with her. Well here goes. I decided it was time to show I could actually dance, and then realized too late my body was still hurt. I gasped and sucked in a sharp breath.
"Are you alright?"
"Mommy?"
"Oh, Claire, come sit down. Can I get you anything?"
All at once the laughter died. I could not answer or concentrate on who was helping me to the sofa. All I could feel was pain radiating throughout my body. I slowly sat down, Maggie scooting in next to me. Annie brought me a glass of water.
Through The Pieces Page 1
