Chapter 17
Claire
The days passed and the hollow feeling in my chest did not cease. I received a few calls from Buck, begging me to contact him. Even though I didn’t, I listened to the messages over and over. I wasn't sure if I was being too hard on him or if I truly wasn't ready to dive into a relationship head over heels. The calls became less frequent, as did his visits to Annie's and Matt's house. I knew I was to blame, but I felt both relief at his absence and an undeniable regret.
"Claire, I asked if you are still going to the Winter Fair." Annie’s voice interrupted my pity party.
"Oh, yes we’re going. what time is it at again?"
Annie was clearly irritated with my inattentiveness. "We’re leaving in an hour. You know you can talk about what is going on between you and Buck, right?"
"I know. I just don't want to yet." I looked down at my coffee, cursing the tears that formed in my eyes.
"Claire, he really likes you. Whatever happened, you two can get through it. Whatever it is, let me ask you this. Does it feel better to be away from him or does it feel better to be with him?"
"It's not that easy, Annie." I glanced at her, knowing deep down I was being unfair to Buck. Was it too late? I had ignored his calls for days.
"It is that easy, you’re just making it hard. Buck made you happy. Maybe you don't think you deserve it, but you do, Claire. You need to at least listen to him. Buck deserves that from you." Annie she had a serious expression on her face--a look that reminded me of Mom. She left the kitchen, and I sat and contemplated what she had just said. Was I treating him so unfairly? Yes! Would he hurt me like Scott did? No, he is not Scott! What have I done? I got up and went to look for Annie. She was standing by the door with my jacket in her hands.
"Welcome back, Claire. Now go and talk to him. We’ll meet you at the Winter Fair." She had a cocky smile on her face.
"Thank you, Annie. Please make sure Maggie bundles up." I barely had my jacket on as I raced towards the car. The hollow feeling inside me had vanished. It was replaced with a fluttering in my chest.
As I drove, I fumbled for my phone and dialed Buck's number. The call went straight to voicemail, dammit! I redialed and again it went to voicemail. I gripped the steering wheel as the fluttering in my chest intensified. I needed to apologize to this amazing man and beg him to forgive me. I’d treated him unfairly. I should have just talked to him instead of assuming he’d let Barbie kiss him. As I pulled up to his condo, I spotted his car. Relief washed over me. I parked and left the keys in the ignition as I bolted out of the car and ran to his door. I knocked loudly. After a few knocks, the front door swung open to reveal her. Barbie. What the hell was she doing here? Why the hell was she in only a bathrobe? A hollowness coiled around my insides.
"Can I help you?" she asked in snotty tone.
"I was looking for Buck, but I see he is busy..." I backed away from the door.
She gave me a fake smile and purred, "Yes, he is very busy."
Bitch! I ran back to my car and drove in shock to the Winter Fair. Once in the parking lot, I sat, unable to move, unable to do anything but replay the humiliation in my head. She was where I should be, with Buck. I rested my head on the steering wheel, sobs shaking my body. I was too late. He didn't need me anymore. I don't know how long I sat in that position when a tap on my window made me jump. Annie peered down at me, a sad expression on her face. I opened the door and got out.
"Didn't go as planned?" she asked. I shook my head and immediately felt her arms around me. If I had any tears left, I’m sure I would have cried again. "Do you want to go inside or would you rather just go home? I could bring Maggie over after the Winter Fair is done."
I detangled myself from her and shook my head. I would not ruin this day for Maggie. We entered the Community Center where the Winter Fair was held. I plastered on a fake smile the rest of the day, looking up every once in awhile to find Annie watching me with sympathy in her eyes. My stomach knotted each time.
#
Later that night, Maggie and Pippi were curled up beside me on the couch. I checked my phone again. No missed calls. My eyes filled with tears, as I tried to wiggle my way out from under Maggie. Pippi looked up at me yawned, then went back to sleep. I stepped into the kitchen to get a drink when my phone dinged, alerting me to a message. I did not recognize the number and clicked to open the message.
Unknown Number
What happened to your boyfriend?
I was confused as I stared at the message. Who was this and how did they know I’d broken up with Buck?
I racked my brain, trying to figure out who this could possibly be, when it dinged again.
Unknown Number
You will always be mine
Scott! Oh God, it was Scott. A chill ran through me, and I scanned the room, half expecting him to leap out at me. My phone fell to the floor. I ran to the door and checked. Locked. I checked the windows, knowing they were already locked. I frantically looked in every room and every closet. My phone dinged again. My feet could not move fast enough as I scrambled back to the kitchen and snatched it up the phone.
Unknown Number
Talk to me Claire
I sat on the floor, frozen and unable to move until the morning light began slanted through the windows. My place had always felt safe. It didn't right now, but as the sun rose higher in the sky, I felt my fear begin to subside. On shaky legs, I wobbled over to the couch and sat next to Maggie. Funny how she could look so peaceful while I felt so scared.
Chapter 18
Scott
He crushed the remnants of his cigarette on a dirty plate, looked around his empty place, and let out a heavy sigh. Claire needed to come home. He finally had her current phone number, thanks to his new friend, who’d helped him come up with a plan. Claire would see that Buck was a dick, and while she was devastated over that failed relationship, he would make his move. He tried texting, her but she wouldn't respond. He rubbed his cock just thinking about her. She would definitely have some cleaning to do when she came home. The place was a mess. Dirty dishes littered the countertops and sink. He grabbed what was left of his whiskey and headed to the entryway, where his new friend was waiting. She was hot, but she wasn't Claire.
"Hey handsome, you ready to get naughty?” she purred. “I’ll have to hurry. I have to get back to work." She made him want to puke. Everything about this girl was fake. He grabbed her elbow and shoved her toward the bedroom.
"Take off your clothes and shut the fuck up."
"Hey, I did you a favor. Don’t talk to me that way." The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed in the room. She gaped at him, uncomprehending, holding the cheek he’d just slapped. This pleased him. She tried to move around him, but he blocked the exit. He took a long pull from the whiskey and smirked at her.
"I think I better leave." He could tell she was frightened.
"Take your clothes off and get on the fucking bed." She stood frozen, hand on her cheek, staring at him as if he had a second head. He moved closer to her, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her onto the mattress. She began to cry.
"Please, please, just let me leave," she begged. He smiled and mounted her, pinning her arms over her head with one hand. Tears streamed down her face. With his free hand, he backhanded her. The sound of flesh on flesh, accompanied by her yelp, excited him. She sobbed harder as he ripped at her shirt. The flimsy material didn't stand a chance. She began to struggle beneath him, so he latched onto her breast, biting down until she cried out. She would learn. She would learn to do what he told her to do and not fight back.
When he was done with her, he tossed on his clothes and grabbed the nearly empty bottle of whiskey. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, then cast her a scornful glance and pushed her thigh with his free hand. She needed to stop the damned crying.
"Get out," he commanded. She continued to sob. If he actually cared about her, he may have felt bad for what he’d done, but she wasn't Claire. If it was
Claire, he would have begged her to forgive him. He drank down the remainder of whiskey, tossed the empty bottle to the floor, and grabbed the woman's foot.
"I said get out!" She looked up at him, her eyes angry now. She tried to cover herself as she scooted off the bed. Scott could see he’d left a bruise around her neck where he’d squeezed. She had red marks on both cheeks, and dried blood on her breast where he’d bitten her into obedience. She quickly got dressed, but when she made to leave, he reached out and wrapped his hand around her wrist. She flinched at his touch.
"Remember the plan. If you screw up, I will find you, and what we just did will be much worse." He flung her hand away. He could feel the fear pouring off her. Wide-eyed, she nodded once and left.
He needed to get the rest of the plan in place. He needed everything to work out. Claire would have to take him back. He quickly located his phone and sent her another text. He only hoped she would text him back. He felt so lost without her. Without her, he hated himself even more. He needed her. She was the only thing that brought lightness to his life. Scott was not going to give up on their relationship, even if she had.
Chapter 19
Claire
It was a struggle to get through each day that passed. I had not heard from Buck in over a week, but I’d saved all of his voicemail messages so I could replay them at night before crying myself to sleep. I was on edge from the constant barrage of text messages from Scott. Everything I had accomplished was crashing down around me. I was falling into a depression and needed to find my way out. In the kitchen, I started another pot of coffee. Annie had taken Maggie to school two hours ago, and I still wasn't out of my pajamas. My phone dinged and coldness settled in my chest. I looked at the message.
Echo
Don't forget about my party tomorrow!
Shit! I’d promised Echo I would go over a month ago. I blew out a defeated breath and glanced at the calendar hanging in the kitchen. Yep, tomorrow would be January thirteenth. The last thing I wanted to do was go out and celebrate. I leaned my head against the cupboard and tried as hard as I could to come up with an excuse for not going. Nothing came to mind that wouldn't be a total lie. Guess I am going to the party. I quickly sent a text to Echo, letting her know I would be there. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't go to her birthday party? A shitty one!
#
I trudged through the next day at work, exhausted. Between thinking of Buck and the constant text messages from Scott, I got very little sleep. Each day, I hoped the hollow feeling inside would abate. Instead, it grew and manifested into what felt like the stomach flu.
I had just opened a box of new books when the bell above the door dinged. I sighed in annoyance, stood, and straightened my blouse. When I looked up, I immediately wanted to hide in the back room, but I was the only one working, so I had to put on my best game face.
"May I help you?" I tried to sound pleasant, at least that was what I was going for.
Jenny, a/k/a Barbie, sauntered in looking bored. "Oh, I was just looking for a book my boyfriend might enjoy."
I wanted to reach out and wring her too-tan, scrawny neck for the way she’d emphasized the word ‘boyfriend.’
"What kind of books does he like?" I knew full well what he liked, but didn't see the need to tell her. I held my hands behind my back, making tight fists.
"Well, I guess we never discussed that." She let out a fake laugh to go with her fake boobs. "We really don't have time for talking, Cassy."
That bitch! "It's Claire," I seethed.
"You say potato I say--oh shoot I forgot how that saying went." Her giggle was like fingernails on a chalkboard. I hated her.
"Well, let me know if you need any help. I have a ton of work to do."
She looked annoyed that she wouldn’t be able to continue her torture, then plastered on a fake smile. "Thanks a bunch, Cassie." She turned and looked at the shelf of books next to where she was standing.
I wanted nothing more than to correct her, but what was the point? She was playing a game I didn't want to play. She’d won. She had Buck. I’d screwed that up, and now I’d have to stew in my own misery. Tears burned my eyes. I will not cry in front of Jenny. Get it together, Claire.
Jenny’s cell phone rang and she made sure to talk as loud as she could. That and her irritating laugh almost sent me over the edge. I was about to go over to her and rip the phone from her hands, when the bell dinged. I looked up and saw Echo's smile fade from her face as she took in the sight of me and Jenny. She knew Jenny and despised her. Echo gave me a knowing nod.
"Hey, the sign says no cell phones. Hang up now or get out" she informed Jenny.
"What's your deal, Echo?"
"Why are you here, Jenny? Do you even know how to read anything that doesn't have pictures?" It was hard to tell under that fake tan, but Jenny may have blushed..
"Go to hell, Echo! I am here picking up a book for my boyfriend." When she said the last part she was staring at me. I tried to swallow, but a lump was forming in my throat.
"Since when did Buck ever show an interest in you? You have all but thrown yourself at him since he moved here. Now he and Claire have a fight, and you insert yourself in his life and think you’re his girlfriend? Try again, sweetheart. We’re not buying it." Echo stood her ground.
"I think you’re wrong about someone not buying it, Echo. Look at her--she’s on the verge of tears." All eyes were on me as I fiddled with a button on my shirt. This is a lovely blouse, and I really do like the buttons.
"Get out, Jenny!"
Jenny gave a shrug, sighed, and left the store. When I heard the door close, the tears began spilling down my cheeks.
"Oh Claire, it's going to be okay." Echo wrapped her arms around me.
I was unable to say anything. I missed Buck desperately, and Jenny being here made it that much worse. I cried for a while, then detangled myself from Echo. "Thank you. You are the best--and that comment about the picture books," I burst into laughter. Echo smiled and began to laugh as well. They say crying and laughing are closely related.
"She makes me so mad. She just did that to be mean to you. Besides, Buck only has eyes for you." She wiped a tear from my face.
"Oh God, Echo. I really messed this whole thing up. I miss him so much. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't even pretend I don’t want to be with him every waking second."
"I think you know what needs to be done. What are you waiting for, Claire?"
"I feel so bad for the way I treated him. I don't even know how to fix this anymore." We looked at each other, both of us teary-eyed. She was one of the best friends I’d ever had.
"We’ll come up with something. Now let's close up, okay? We have a party to go to."
"Oh, Echo, I am so sorry. Happy Birthday!"
"Thank you. I promise we will come up with a plan for Buck." She started to close out the register.
I finished putting the inventory away and thought about Buck. I had to tell him I was wrong and apologize. I just hoped it wasn't too late.
Chapter 20
Claire
I arrived at Monty's shortly after nine. A band was playing on the makeshift stage. I scanned the bar and my eyes settled on a group of people standing around a table. Balloons floated above their heads. They must have been there for Echo’s party. I crossed the bar to where they were congregated. As I got closer, the man directly in front of me turned and smiled. I smiled back, trying to be polite, even though I didn’t want to be here. No good deed goes unpunished, though. In his drunken state, he mistook my smile as an invitation and scooped me up in a tight hug, lifting me off the ground. I searched frantically for Echo. Where was she? He set me down and lowered his head so that our noses were almost touching. He leaned in and I turned my face away from him.
"She's taken," said a gruff voice. Buck stood next to us, scowling. Relief washed over me. Buck didn't look at me, but his eyes narrowed on the man in front of me.
"Hey man, I didn't know. No hard f
eelings, bro." He put his hands up in mock surrender and walked away.
"Thank you, Buck." He looked at me but his eyes never softened, and he didn't offer a response. "How have you been?" He let out a sigh and glanced at me briefly then scanned the room as if searching for something. When he refocused on me, he eyes held a pained expression, and he grabbed my hand and led me to the door.
Outside, he surveyed the street, then pulled me down the sidewalk. We stopped by his car, and he opened the passenger door. I got in and he closed it, he walked around the front to the driver's side. He climbed in and cranked the engine then brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache. Another sigh and his hands fell to his lap and he faced me.
"How have I been? I have no idea what happened between us but you ran and never gave me the chance to explain."
"I know, and I am sorry," I said weakly.
"Let me ask you this. Have I ever done anything to make you question your trust in me?"
"No."
"Then why, Claire? I thought we really had something."
A lump formed in my throat as guilt churned my insides. "I can't explain it, but when Jenny looked at me and kissed you, something just snapped in me. I was so angry, then when I went to apologize a few days later, she was at your house wearing a robe." The tears started to fall. "She said you were busy, then she came into the store claiming to be your girlfriend."
"Claire, I am not Scott."
"I know, and I am so sorry. I didn't mean to react that way. I just wish I knew how to fix this mess I have created."
Buck grabbed my chin and pulled my head up. His eyes had finally softened.
"First, let me tell you something, my little lotus. I have been a wreck since the day you ran. I am not in any way attracted to Jenny. As for her in a robe at my place, she came over one day while I was painting a room. She spilled some paint on herself, and I gave her my robe when she insisted she had to wash her clothes right away so the paint would come out. It was either that or have her walking around in her bra and underwear. She never said a word about you stopping. As for her claiming me as a boyfriend, I have no idea why she said that. The only one who can claim me as a boyfriend is you, Claire."
Through The Pieces Page 9
