by R. Linda
This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come. I was a nervous wreck. I liked Ryder more than I realised, and there I was standing outside the door to his room where he was alone and waiting for me. I couldn’t do this. Why did Indie have to make me realise my feelings? I was happy being ignorant and only thinking we were friends. This was too much pressure. I was about to turn around and walk away when the door suddenly opened and I was face-to-face with Ryder’s naked chest.
I gulped.
“Bailey, what are you doing?” he asked, tugging on my wrist and pulling me into his room, closing the door behind us.
“I uh. uhm…I was…” I stuttered, unable to stop staring at his toned chest and stomach. My eyes drifted to the v defining his hips, and my mouth went dry. Oh wow!
“I was about to knock.” I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I couldn’t let him know how I felt. But apparently, my ogling was too obvious.
“Like what you see, love?” He smirked at me. Damn him for being so attractive and knowing it. Sighing in defeat, I nodded, admitting it, which only made him smile widely, showing off those dimples.
“What were you doing out there so long?” he asked. “I didn’t think you were ever going to knock.” As he threw himself down on the maroon-coloured comforter, I contemplated running away. I stood there and stared at him awkwardly before shifting my gaze around the room. There was a large desk in the corner piled high with books, a hamper under the window overflowing with clothes, and a tall dresser by the door. Aside from the random posters of girls and cars on his walls, his room was relatively neat and clean. Surprising for a guy.
I glanced at the bed and back to him again, twirling a strand of my hair nervously. He patted the bed beside him, indicating it was okay for me to sit there, but I didn’t. I stayed standing in the middle of the room. Not trusting myself, or him. We tended to get a bit carried away. A bit caught up in the moment. And if a bed was involved, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to keep control of the situation.
“Bailey, what’s wrong?” Ryder asked, sitting up and crossing his long legs in front of him.
“Nothing.” I shook my head and twisted my hands together, trying to avoid eye contact with him. I liked him and didn’t know how to behave around him now.
“You’re very quiet.” He eyed me carefully.
“I met your mother. She thinks I’m your girlfriend,” I blurted out.
“Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot to tell you that.” He shrugged like it was nothing and offered no further explanation. Was he okay with her thinking this was real?
“Come here.” He reached his hand out toward me, and I looked at it suspiciously. Snap out of it, Bailey. I took slow steps toward him and allowed him to grasp my hands, letting out a yelp when he pulled on my hands, making me fall forward and stumble onto the bed. He laughed as I shifted into a sitting position.
“You’re acting weird, Bailey. Just relax. What the hell is wrong with you?” His tone was harsh and annoyed, and I knew I was confusing him, but I just felt out of my depth. I had no idea how to act around him or how to hide my feelings. I felt him move on the bed behind me. His large hands clasped my shoulders as his long fingers began massaging and kneading the tight muscles in my shoulders and neck. I let out a soft moan at the scorching feeling of his hands on my skin.
“I don’t know what’s got into you, but you need to snap out of it,” he growled in my ear. His rough tone and soft actions contradicted each other. It was a strange but soothing combination. I liked the dominance in his voice but at the same time loved the gentle, caring way he touched me.
“We have a date tomorrow night. You need to be on your game, not acting nervous and crap like you are now,” he whispered harshly in my ear before pressing his teeth into the crook of my neck and sucking gently, making me completely forget about the mention of a date. A date that I didn’t remember agreeing to.
I gasped and rolled my head back to rest on his shoulder. That was going to leave a mark. I could feel Ryder’s bare chest pressing into my back; his arms encircling my waist as he pulled me back so I was sitting on his lap. My nails dug into his wrists as he continued kissing and sucking the sensitive skin along my neck while tickling circles on my stomach.
“Bailey.” He groaned my name. “If you don’t stop wriggling, we are going to have a problem.” His breath was warm on my neck, and I didn’t even realise I had been moving.
“Sorry.” I turned my head to look at him and saw his green eyes alight, blazing into mine. My eyes dropped to his lips and watched as they parted instinctively when he dragged his tongue across the bottom one before pulling the stud into his mouth. He cleared his throat.
“Ah, we should probably stop now.” His voice was gravelly and husky. I dropped my eyes to my lap before pushing off him and moving to the other side of his bed, putting distance between us.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. Even though I knew he was right—we had to stop before things went too far—I couldn’t help but feel hurt and rejected. Bloody Indie making me realise my feelings just made everything worse.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. I kept my eyes down. I didn’t want him to see the hurt that I was sure was evident in them.
“Bailey, look at me.” He crawled over the bed to me and tilted my face up so I had to look at him.
“I’m sorry. When I’m with you, I lose all sense of right or wrong. You make me lose control, and I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you.” I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say or whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, so I just nodded my head slowly, wishing that he would change the subject.
“Believe me when I say I didn’t want to stop then. I want to lose control with you, but I know that it’s not right. You’re not one of those girls, and I don’t want you to become one.” He pressed his lips to mine briefly. I stared at him for a moment, frozen. I tried to take in everything he had just said, but I was just more confused than before.
“I got you something,” he said, thankfully changing the subject.
“You did? Why?” I raised my eyebrow at him, wondering what he’d gotten me and why. He grinned and lay down on his stomach to reach under the bed. He pulled out a small package neatly wrapped in purple paper.
“Open it,” he said, handing it to me with wide eyes.
“Ryder, you shouldn’t have got me anything. I can’t accept this.” I tried to hand it back.
“Open the damn gift, Bailey,” he snapped before softly adding a please and gently kissing my cheek.
I peeled off the paper quickly and carefully trying not to make him any angrier. I saw a small velvet box. I looked at him with wide eyes. He nodded his head in encouragement, so I lifted the lid and gasped at what I saw.
“Ryder, this is too much. Why?” I asked, eyeing the beautiful charm bracelet lying delicately on purple silk inside the box.
“Do you like it?” he asked, ignoring my previous question.
“Yes, it’s beautiful but—”
“But nothing. It’s yours. Be grateful and wear it.” He took it from the box before gently clasping it around my wrist.
“The charms, they’re—” I started to ask about the charms he’d chosen.
“They’re all things we’ve done together. Rides to school together,” he said, pointing out the car. “Eating at the diner.” He indicated to the hamburger before moving to a ladder. “Climbing the water tower.”
“Hanging out at the bookstore,” I said when his fingers brushed the small book charm.
“Yes, and making out at the drive-in.” He grinned, turning the bracelet slightly so I could see the little movie reel.
“And finally, celebrating your eighteenth birthday,” he said, lifting the silk in the box to reveal an eighteen charm. I gasped and stared at him in surprise.
“Happy Birthday, Bailey,” he whispered. He hooked the charm onto my bracelet. He knew it was my birthday. How? I was just about to ask him when he pressed his lips to mine, making me forget all
about my birthday.
Chapter Sixteen
My days were filled. I didn’t think I had been this busy ever. Every day I had something to do. It was weird considering I’d always been a loner, even when I was friends with Christina and dating Chace. But it was good. I loved having things to occupy my time. I spent my afternoons at the bookstore and my evenings watching movies with Indie or having dinner at the roadhouse with Ryder. He actually cooked for me again a few nights ago. And he wasn’t lying about his being the best burgers in the state. I could have eaten a second one, it was so good. But then Indie’s warnings over the past week about not eating too much rubbish so we could still fit into our outfits for Chace’s party came back to haunt me, and I refrained from a second helping.
My mother burst through my bedroom door with a scowl on her face, moving straight for my stereo. It was blasting some of her classic nineties rock, which always put me in the mood to party.
“Bailey, sweetheart. I know you love listening to my old music, but do you need to play it so loud? The house is trembling. How can you girls even hear yourselves think?” She was rubbing her temples as she turned to face Indie and me sitting on the floor in front of the mirror playing with my curling iron and hair straightener.
“We don’t need to think, Mrs. M. We are going to a party. We just have to look good,” Indie replied, smiling brightly.
“I know. That’s why I’m up here. Do you need a lift to the party?”
“No, thanks. We’ve got a ride,” I replied, curling the last tendril of hair so that I had long waves cascading down my back.
“Oh good. Is Ryder picking you up?” she asked, failing to hide her smile.
“Yes.” I nodded and lifted my hair, scrunching it into a bun on top of my head while looking in the mirror to see whether it would look better up.
“Things seem to be going well between you,” she commented. “Hair up, sweetheart,” she added, nodding in my direction.
“Ah yeah, things are great. Thanks.”
Indie scoffed and turned her attention back to her hair when I glared at her.
“What, Indie?” my mother asked, amusement tainting her voice.
“Things aren’t just perfect. They are totally in love with each other but don’t realise it.” Indie giggled while I grabbed an elastic and some bobby pins to secure my messy bun in place.
“There.” I smiled, satisfied with how it looked before turning to Indie.
“We are not.”
“I didn’t know things were that serious between you guys.” My mother looked at me with a small frown. “I thought you’d only just started dating.” Confusion replaced her frown while I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t give away the fact we weren’t even in a relationship.
“Ah well. They have, but it’s been a long time coming. They’ve been hanging out as friends, and I’m just teasing her, Mrs. M. I’m just happy she’s finally over Chace.” Indie stepped in, realising that my mother knew nothing. I smiled gratefully at her.
“Speaking of Chace,” I said, “we need to finish getting ready for his party or Ryder will be waiting forever.”
“Ryder’s not here yet.” Indie looked at me like I was crazy.
“Yes, he is.” I smiled, and right on cue, the doorbell rang. Both Indie and my mother looked at me questioningly.
“I heard his car.” I shrugged and added a swipe of mascara to my kohl-lined eyes.
“I’ll get it,” Indie announced, jumping up from her position on the floor beside me and bouncing out of the room.
“You’re going to a party at Chace’s house?” my mother asked as soon as Indie could be heard running down the stairs. “Is that wise?”
“It’s just a party. He has one every year. The whole senior class will be there. It’s fine. I’m over him.” I stood and walked over to her, placing my hands on her shoulders.
“So why are you going?” she asked.
“I promised to introduce Indie to a friend of Ryder’s,” I said before picking up my bright orange skirt and black sleeveless shirt. “I need to get dressed now, though,” I told my mother so she would leave.
“Okay, I’ll wait downstairs with Ryder and send Indie back up. Just be careful tonight, all right?” She kissed my forehead and left me to get dressed. I was just tucking my shirt into the high waist of my skirt when Indie fell through the door.
“What did you do?” I laughed at her.
“I fell. I was running too fast and miscalculated the distance it would take me to stop.” She laughed and pulled her shirt off over her head so she could put on her party outfit too. “You need a belt,” she told me as she slid her shorts on. I grabbed a thick black belt with a large silver buckle from my closet and secured it around my waist before pushing my new cut-out black ankle boots on. I turned to see Indie pulling her oversized knitted sweater on. As soon as her shoes were on, we were ready to go.
I started feeling nervous as we descended the stairs. When I left Ryder’s on my birthday, things were a little strained. I felt like there was so much we’d left unresolved. I’d come home more confused than before. I still didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling or if he felt anything like Indie believed. But he knew about my birthday, and each time we kissed, he would stop it, making up some excuse about not wanting me to be one of those girls. But then it would only last a short while before we would begin making out again. I guess I’d just have to wait and see how things panned out.
We stepped into the living room, where my mother was happily chatting away to Ryder. They were laughing at something, but both suddenly became quiet when they realised we were there. Ryder’s mouth popped open, and his eyes went wide as my mother rushed over to us.
“Oh girls, you look lovely. I love the new outfits. Perfect for your party.”
“Thanks, Mrs. M.” Indie grinned and did a little spin that I barely noticed because I was too focused on Ryder, who was walking slowly toward me in his skinny jeans and button-up white shirt that was only buttoned halfway, revealing his toned chest. He was pinching his bottom lip between his fingers while his eyes travelled up and down my body. So hot.
“You look beautiful, Bailey,” he whispered when he stopped in front of me, grasping my hip with one hand and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. That action alone, which he had done numerous times before, made my knees go weak, and I stumbled slightly. A movement that did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room. Avoiding their gazes and smirks, I put my head down. I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks.
“Ready?” Ryder asked, taking my hand in his and smiling at my charm bracelet when I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. My mother’s eyes flickered to our joined hands for a minute before a grin spread across her face.
“Have fun, you three,” she said as she walked us to the door.
“Bye, Mrs. M. Don’t wait up.” Indie winked.
“Bye, Mrs. Mitchell.” Ryder smiled at her. I could have sworn I saw her swoon before she pulled me away from his grasp so she could whisper in my ear.
“Be safe, sweetheart.” She discreetly nodded in Ryder’s direction and wiggled her eyebrows at me. My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open in shock when I realised the meaning of her words. I mean, I knew she was relaxed with rules and stuff but…
“What? No, not even…it’s not…” I shook my head at her, still surprised by what she had said. “Just no.”
“Oh, well, I’m happy you’re taking it slow but really? How much longer can you resist that?” She tried hiding her smile behind her hand as she shrugged at me. I glanced at Ryder, who was waiting on the bottom step for me. I hoped he couldn’t hear what she was saying.
“Oh my God!” I slapped my forehead. “I can’t believe you said that.” I started laughing at how incredibly abnormal my mother was. How many other girl’s parents would imply their teenage daughters should be having sex with their pierced and tattooed boyfriends? None. That’s how many. There was something wrong with my moth
er. I would need to have a chat with her.
“Hey, I was young once too. Though I didn’t know any boys that looked like Ryder. All I’m saying is that I can’t stop you. You’re old enough to make your own decisions, but just be careful, okay?” she said seriously.
“Goodbye, Mother,” I said firmly, kissing her cheek and walking out the door, not wanting to acknowledge that extremely uncomfortable conversation.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She laughed and waved us off.
“What was that about?” Indie asked when I slid into the front seat beside Ryder.
“Uhm, nothing. Just her being her.” I could feel the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment. I was relieved when Indie just shrugged and started singing along to the radio, not questioning me any further. I turned to Ryder, who was silent. I noticed he had a death grip on the steering wheel, and his jaw was clenched tight. Something was wrong with him.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replied, his voice clipped and short. Something was wrong.
Feeling confident, I reached out and placed my hand on his knee but quickly pulled it back when he glanced down at it then looked away. Maybe he didn’t want me to touch him, although I wasn’t sure why. He always held my hand while driving, so either me or something else was bothering him.
“You sure? You seem kin—”
“Yes, Bailey. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong.” He cut me off and turned the music up, putting an end to any chance of a conversation we might have had.
Sighing in defeat, I turned and looked out the window to try to figure out what could have happened in the past few minutes to make him so mad. He seemed fine at the house when he told me I looked beautiful before me kissing me. He even took my hand to lead me. Something must have happened while I was talking with my mother.
