by L. J. Wilson
“Ten… four pins, two screws. It works well enough to get by.”
She closed her eyes. It wouldn’t compute in her head, the reason the hand was broken in the first place—how could it be the same hand that had touched her in so many breathtaking ways—touched her mere hours before setting out to kill her own father? Ruby wanted to run out of the room, but she couldn’t get her feet to move. All she wanted was to go back in time, before any of this happened, even if it were only for a few minutes. “Aaron,” she said huskily. His name had come out that way over the years, in dreams and in nightmares, whispers and screams. But Ruby never thought it would, again, be in his presence.
His hand, the bad one, touched her hair and her gaze drifted to his. “Answer me,” he said. “Tell me I didn’t love you. Tell me you really believe it was all part of some sinister plot.”
She couldn’t find her voice. What choice did you give me, Aaron? You never denied it, not once… How could you claim to love me and want to murder my father? He drew closer, the scent of Aaron—some mix of soap, cotton T-shirts, and man, wafting off him—she’d know it anywhere. He touched her face, brushing a tear. A mewling noise rose from Ruby, and she urged herself to move away from his touch. This was wrong. On every imaginable level—disturbingly wrong.
Ruby replayed the dry words, prompts the last therapist had encouraged: “Sometimes, Ruby, a physical attraction combined with a strong emotional bond… well, it can be difficult to combat, no matter what other heinous deeds come with those feelings…Don’t blame yourself, just know that you need to be aware and to fight it.” That had been psychologist number four, a doctor Stefan had recommended. The one who finally got her over the Aaron hump.
Or so she’d thought.
Her mind and body were in opposing places—universes. A whirl of wild energy flooded the room, familiar and intense. She needed to do exactly that, to fight it. What made her think this would be easy? Her head tipped—a vague stroke of weakness against a current of temptation. What made me think I’d ever be in this situation? The back of Aaron’s fingertips fluttered over her cheek and along her neck. Ruby’s toes curled tighter into the carpet. It was the only barrier she could locate. But crunching toes had the reverse effect, nudging other senses into play. Her body didn’t give a damn about psychoanalysis. No, her body was reaching for the wave of longing that Aaron Clairmont ignited. It had always been this way, from the first time he’d kissed her and that first night on the beach—an unleashing of desire. And now it was back, surreal and unimaginable.
His breath was warm on her cheek. Aaron’s mouth grazed her neck, so soft… inviting, the way Aaron always touched her. The way Ruby tried not to remember. Her heart fluttered faster—there was a stirring between her legs. Tears kept coming. They were the only visible protest as his mouth moved deftly down her neck—the sensation welcome and despised. A throatier breath escaped. She tried forcing words. They wouldn’t come as her confusion mounted. Ruby’s clenched hands pressed harder into the wall. It kept her from grabbing onto anything that mattered. She turned her head harder. But a movement meant to dissuade him only allowed Aaron greater access. He took it, the robe slipping subtly from her shoulder. Screaming, smacking, kicking, biting—these were the thoughts that belonged in her head. There was only the incredible feel of Aaron’s lips on her skin. It stole Ruby’s voice and the protest. She cursed the unexpected feebleness. She was tougher than this.
A ragged sigh seeped from her belly as Aaron tugged at the robe’s sash. A breath couldn’t fit between them. Ruby kept her head turned and her eyes closed. Her mouth clamped shut. Aaron’s hands retraced an old journey, traveling the edge of her collarbone, lower past her breast bone. Ruby remembered the games they’d play—anatomy review for a test. She’d been damn lucky to have passed any one. Aaron’s legs were straddled over her right one, edging them apart. Through the thick denim of his jeans, she was aware of how much every part of him wanted her. It was wrong. It was insane. All she had to do was slam her leg upward. She tried a mental count: On three… The bastard knew she wouldn’t do it. And yet, at the same time, Ruby was aware that she could escape from his hold. Aaron wouldn’t stop her. Trust had been badly beaten, but somehow it seemed to have survived.
The open robe conveyed a vulnerable view—she wore only underwear. But as Ruby forced open her eyes, she saw that Aaron wasn’t taking advantage—like she was a prize or a lost possession. Aaron’s gaze didn’t move triumphantly down her body. He had no need. Ruby knew this like she knew the color of his eyes. He was more intent on reclaiming memories. Ruby shivered at the warmth of his palm kneading more forcefully against her breast, nipples so anxious she cursed their inability to lie. There weren’t any words, just an unspoken bond that bobbed anxiously to the surface.
Aaron’s mouth pressed harder into her neck then moved gently over Ruby’s skin, his tongue making contact with a naked earlobe, his breath warm on her cheek. She was furious with the desire that drove her thoughts. Despite everything he’d done, every heinous lie he’d told, Ruby’s deepest, most present longing was to demand that Aaron kiss her.
He didn’t.
She wasn’t clear if he meant it as a tease or a courtesy. Instead she was left to focus on his touch, knowing he felt the flutter of muscles as his palm made hot contact with her bare stomach. Another memory seeped into Ruby’s mind—the way Aaron paid attention to all of her body. Her breath grew less steady, his lack of explanation heightening the magnet-like draw. Why… why are you doing this…? But his mouth wasn’t queueing up explanations. It was busy with physical demonstrations, small kisses floating along the penetrating descent of his hands, gliding past starter anatomy and making contact with her breasts.
Logic insisted she object. But instinct was running the show. Instead of shoving him away, Ruby’s hands came off the wall, gripping around Aaron’s head. The tightly shorn hair was so different, the thick layers she’d once indulged in gone. The closer skin-to-skin contact drew him in, encouraging Aaron to suckle each breast. He finally responded with a needy groan, intensity climbing, the pace quickening. She thought the room had turned a hundred degrees hotter. Damn, it was all but spinning. Ruby’s teeth sank hard into her hungry lower lip as her glance moved downward. She was at his mercy to watch.
She forced her neck back, waiting to be consumed by hate for him, revulsion for herself. There was nothing but an intuitive craving, Ruby holding onto just enough dignity not to beg that he kiss her. Aaron dropped to his knees. She looked down again. Perfect… Progress… Beg for forgiveness, you bastard… But that wasn’t what was happening. No such words came as Aaron’s mouth moved onto her stomach, brushing along the bikini edge of champagne-colored panties. Between his mouth and hands and tempting proximity, Ruby thought she’d come by way of mere suggestion. Why not? It had happened before, a good girl’s naughty dream, her subconscious living off the memory of Aaron for years.
Before, his leg had been in between hers, and the slightly parted stance was just enough. Enough so that Aaron’s mouth could find its way, a finger pushing the thin veil of damp fabric aside. Soaked fabric. Ruby heard the harder breaths that pulsed from Aaron, his lips wildly enticing. It was either let go or encourage him. It would be a humiliating defeat. Instead, Ruby’s shoulder blades dug into the drywall, and she relinquished any physical hold. Her fists balled tight as they pounded against the inanimate surface. His tongue invaded and Ruby responded, her hips nudging forward. Aaron’s needy groan turned to a sound of satisfaction as his tongue remembered an inspired rhythm. Ruby’s legs shifted, moving farther apart. He took it as a direct invite, his hands opening her wider to him. Her breaths were jagged, the sensations edging toward explosive. She glanced down, indulging in a point of view that was as sexy as it was gratifying—the sight of those broad shoulders, Aaron’s mouth deep in her wet cunt, shaking legs, not even the tiniest piece of her wanting him to stop. But he did—briefly. Aaron’s mouth moved away to something far more intimate. It caused a
jarring revolt. Ruby watched as Aaron deftly… lovingly… brushed his full lips over the two tattoos—love and happiness—that marked her thigh.
Everything was ruined.
Something between a growl and a gasp erupted from Ruby. She pulled away and slid along the wall before crumbling to the floor, closing the robe as she went. It was a pathetic balled state of disgust—for him, for herself.
The words “No… don’t…” came coarsely from Aaron’s mouth. It repeated, harder… angrier and a violent spasm of curse words followed. Aaron was crouched beside her. His hand went to the wall as if to hold himself up—or as if he might put his fist through it. Ruby’s only satisfaction was that somehow he appeared more wrecked than her.
“Don’t what?” she said through a teary gaze, their eyes meeting. “Let you destroy what’s left of me? Let you fuck me all over again—physically, mentally? No,” she said. “That’s not going to happen.” Again, Aaron had made a game-changing mistake. Touching those symbols was a Taser-type shock, reminding Ruby he’d ruined so much more than good sex. Those tattoos were the only thing she’d allowed herself to hold onto, so to hell with Aaron Clairmont. He wasn’t getting anywhere near that memory.
“Ruby, please,” he said breathlessly. “You’re wrong. Listen to me, baby… you’re so incredibly wrong. I’m sorry. This wasn’t my intention when I came up here… I don’t even know how it happened. But it did, and that has to tell you something. Please… please just talk to me.”
She narrowed her eyes as her head tipped against the wall. She laughed—the pain so great her mind couldn’t process it. Yes, hysterical laughter seemed like an out. Aaron reached, touching her face again. Any thought of humor seized. This time Ruby stopped him, her hand gripping hard around his wrist. “No,” she said, shaking her head.
His head bowed.
Ruby didn’t know what kind of game he was playing, though it looked more like frustration that had invaded the smooth planes of his face. Aaron stared at the wall—unreadable, solemn as ever. Before he showed up she was tense and antsy and upset. Now she was a puddle, drained beyond the culmination of their tumultuous history. Ruby didn’t think she could find the gumption to stand. But as sounds came from the adjoining room, a door opening and her name being called, Ruby sprang to her feet.
She was gone—from the floor, from his reach. Aaron couldn’t find his way through the dense fog that had invaded his head. “Damn you,” she hissed, strangling the sash about her waist and swiping at tears. Ruby sprinted away like he was fire, or just a living hell. She moved fast toward the interior door, meeting Stefan as he came through. Aaron couldn’t get to his feet, but the toolbox he’d placed nearby was only a pivot away. He dropped to his knees, fumbling with the lid and retrieving his cell phone, which lay nearby. The sharp sound of metal banging metal clanked through the room. He looked up at Stefan. If Aaron was ever really going to kill anybody, this would be the moment.
Slowly he stood and reality came into focus. He watched Ruby struggle for composure, trying to appear as if the only thing out of place was Aaron, maybe the slight red to Ruby’s cheeks as she kissed one of Stefan’s and then took hold of his arm. “You’re back.”
“You have company,” he said, looking at Aaron. “How surprising. Aaron, what are you doing up here?”
Aaron didn’t know emotions could flood so fast, a tide ripping in and out at warp speed. The precious moments before were crushed, flattened at the sight of Ruby standing beside Stefan. Aaron dragged a hand across his mouth. The taste of Ruby was redolent. But his senses dulled and emotion changed, replaced by absolute loathing for Stefan—the man with his arm around the silky robe that clung to Ruby’s body. Aaron’s mind filled with the nightmare of the two of them together: Ruby in Stefan’s bed, in the custom-tiled shower, in a bedroom he’d spent the last month preparing. The private details Aaron knew about Ruby and about the room. There was the softness of the sheets, the personal items stocked for her convenience and pleasure—expensive soaps, fancy lotions, tampons, caviar and wine coolers. The damn wine coolers… There were the towels Shauna had dismissed—too common for Stefan’s fiancée, or so his boss had insisted. Aaron had become intimately familiar with the bedroom and bath, comfortable, sexy, paradise-like surroundings. His insides lurched. He thought for a moment he was going to lose it all over the plush wool carpet.
“Aaron?” Stefan said, this time irritation coloring his voice. “I don’t recall asking for a handyman. Would you mind explaining what you’re doing here… alone… with my Ruby?”
His Ruby? Did he seriously just hear that? How about he take the fucking iron wrench that was in his toolbox and shove it up his… Aaron drew a breath that openly shook. “I, um…” He blinked hard. Usually the right cover story in the proper moment didn’t elude him. Now he wasn’t sure he could speak his own name.
“Aaron, seriously. I’m going to need a reason as to your presence here.” Stefan’s hand ran over Ruby’s arm like he was stroking a cat—like he owned her. Just as Aaron couldn’t take another second, Stefan stepped away. He looked Ruby over as if inspecting for damage. He had to see it, two nipples piercing through the delicate fabric, erect and on guard. But Stefan’s response made it sound as if he were completely unaware. “You… why you’re trembling, my love. What… what the hell was going on here?” he said, glaring at Aaron.
A silent second passed like the hour hand on a clock. This was it. Ruby was going scream her truth, insisting that what just happened was all Aaron—forcing himself into the room and onto her. His eyes squeezed shut again. Go to prison to protect her—not a question. Go to prison for assaulting her—not comprehensible. No. Twisted as the moment before may have been, Ruby had wanted Aaron’s hands on her. She wanted Aaron to make her come with his mouth, then for him to fuck her right there against the wall. Even if she said nothing, her body wouldn’t lie. Aaron was sure of it. He began again, but with no better result. “I came up here… to, uh…”
“I called him,” Ruby said, tucking the lapels of the robe tighter. “I mean, I didn’t call for him specifically. I called for someone from maintenance. Aaron just happened to show up.” Aaron heard Ruby’s ER voice, confident and sure, even when some poor bastard was bleeding out in front of her. “The, um, thermostat,” she said, pointing to the one directly behind Aaron. “It doesn’t seem to be working right. I couldn’t get the air-conditioning to shut off.”
“Really?” Stefan said. “Interesting, it didn’t seem particularly cool in here when I left.”
“That’s just it. It came on out of nowhere, very unexpected. I was literally freezing.” Aaron guessed her explanation covered any physical evidence.
“It seems perfectly tepid in here now—almost a bit too warm,” he said.
Ruby pointed, but her arm dropped, as if she was applying all her strength elsewhere. “That’s because Aaron fixed it. It was, um… stuck or something.”
Aaron finally gathered the wherewithal to lie along with her. “Yeah, the regulator wouldn’t release, got stuck in an on position. The whole mechanism should be replaced.”
Stefan nodded. “You’ll see to that, correct?”
Aaron nodded.
“Well, if everything is fine, I do have a full agenda. Aaron, I appreciate the quick service, but I assume your time is accounted for today?”
He moved toward the exit. “Right. I have plenty to take care of.”
“Oh, by the way,” Stefan said in a way that made Aaron unsure if he should listen or go, “Shauna had a message from Tandy. She couldn’t get you on your cell.”
“I shut it off,” Ruby said. “I’ll call her.”
“No rush,” Stefan advised. “Tandy only wanted you to know that her bridesmaid dress fit perfectly—no alterations necessary.” He smiled. “There, I think that takes care of my girl gossip for the day.”
“Tandy?” Aaron said, his radar going up. The last time he’d seen Tandy was a few months before his life had imploded. When she announced that
she was moving to New York, going to art school. He’d thought maybe it was for the best. She’d never made him feel like anything but an intrusion in Ruby’s life, like she had to pick between them. “Seems I remember the two of you weren’t so close when she left Nickel Springs.”
Stefan wagged a finger at Aaron. “That’s right. I keep forgetting. This has turned into old home week. Of course, you know Tandy too.”
“Not as well as other people,” Aaron said dryly.
“Tandy…” Ruby said, diverting the remark. “She… it’s one of many wonderful things Stefan’s brought to my life. He helped us reconnect. And Tandy and I… Well, we were so close once, like sisters. It was helpful after… everything.”
Aaron listened, so much past hanging on one coded word and the everything he’d ruined.
Stefan’s phone rang and he answered, immediately involved in Abstract Enchantment business. Ruby said lightly over her shoulder, “I’ll see Aaron out.” She crossed through the room, eyes on the door, which she opened briskly. Aaron stared curiously at Ruby, who avoided his gaze. In the hall, he turned. But he could see that Stefan had moved to the desk, his back to both of them. The door came fast toward his face, but it didn’t slam as he anticipated. She held it slightly ajar. “Do not read anything into that,” she whispered.
“Which part?” he asked, fingertips swiping over his mouth.
He swore her body shook, eyes glistening. “All of it—my incredible misstep since opening the door. I only lied for you because I didn’t want a scene. I don’t want to explain you to Stefan. This won’t happen again. Do you understand?”
The door shut before he could reply with “No, Ruby, I really fucking don’t.”
