As Sebastian got out of the tub and drained the water, he felt every good feeling draining down with it. There was nothing left except this great pain in his heart. Sebastian tried to think of a billion excuses of why he did as he did and a million reasons on why he should not feel regret. Problem was even if he was a demon right now he would regret, he would wish himself to the deepest recess of hell never to come back out again.
Sebastian cleaned the floor and the bath, then dressed. Then he went out to where the whips were and the blood everywhere. He cleaned it all licking the blood from his fingers tasting Calis trying to find a bit of anything that would bring back the love of his life.
Perhaps they did need some time away from each other. Maybe then Sebastian could think and do something rather than feel sorry for himself. He would talk to the Archangels and go back to Midnight Manor to help pack the house. He would deal with the demons there and let Christian and Anne deal with things here.
Sebastian had to get his head on straight and stop thinking about others so much. His attraction to others was what brought this whole mess on and fact was every quality he found attractive in the others he sought he had in Calis.
Calis had been more than patient and more than understanding. Hell, Sebastian was allowed women, which in most marriages would be forbidden. Calis allowed all sorts of nonsense, but the one thing Sebastian promised, he could not do. There had to be a reason behind it besides his own selfish wishes.
If Sebastian wanted to stay married, he needed help and so he would go to the reaper councilors to seek any advice they could give. As an Angel, he felt periods of intense lust, but that could be satisfied with Calis. It was all a matter of control. Perhaps the Archangels could help with that.
Sebastian would use his time away productively, give Calis time to think too and then he would show Calis that he was indeed the only one for him. Sebastian would prove to himself if to no one else he was Calis’s true love and true husband. There would be no more bullshit with worrying about Calis being too weak. Calis already showed him he was stronger than him. Now it was time for Sebastian to step up and be a man rather than a stupid idiot child who couldn’t control his own damn urges.
Chapter 8
(Sebastian deep in thought)
William told Kingsly what happened between him and Sebastian. He couldn’t lie to his beloved and the guilt was eating him up inside. After telling Kingsly what happened, Kingsly slapped him so many times he thought his face would never recover.
Kingsly eventually was chased all over the hall of records by William who begged Kingsly to forgive him. He swore it would never happen again and Kingsly wasn’t as mad about that as he was about him not sharing Sebastian. Then Kingsly broke down in tears making William feel even worse.
“I am not beautiful enough! I am just too ugly for Sebastian to ever wish to do that with me!”
Kingsly sobbed and William grasped Kingsly in his arms.
“You are so beautiful Kingsly, don’t say you are not. You just come on a bit strong with him and it tends to push him away. Still, it won’t happen again and I don’t want it to. I love you. If nothing else, this makes me realize how much I do love you.’
“I was an idiot, a fool, a stupid asshole who doesn’t deserve you. You have been loyal to me and I make you wear a damn chastity belt because I am always afraid of someone taking you away. It should be me wearing it since I am the one who cheated.”
William said feeling like total shit. He loved Kingsly more than his own life and he did not want anyone else in their lives. He just wanted to live forever and always with his beloved. Hell, he would let Kingsly wear his fancy dresses to reap in if it would make Kingsly forgive him.
“You would wear a chastity belt for me?”
Kingsly asked in shock. He did not think Will would do something like that for him.
“Yes, I would wear even the metal one you hated. I will do anything for you. Please just forgive me. You can wear whatever you like, just don’t leave me. I will even let you decorate my office if you stay.”
William begged as he held Kingsly while on his knees begging Kingsly to stay with him. William would do anything for Kingsly as long as Kingsly loved him.
“William! You really do love me!”
Kingsly pulled William up and kissed him passionately.
“Of course I do, my beautiful crazy red-haired lover. I adore you.”
Kingsly kissed William all over his face. Reapers were looking at them like the two lost their minds. Young reapers were shocked at William who was always so cold most of the time at work. No one could believe William was this in love with Kingsly. It had always been a running joke that the two were insanely in love with each other, but even at the reaper’s ball William showed quite a bit of restraint. It was amazing that William was actually this crazy in love with the red haired wild man of the reaper community.
“I forgive you William! I don’t want to decorate your office since I know that is your space and I will leave it alone, but you will really wear a chastity belt for me and let me wear dresses to work?”
Kingsly asked as William simply nodded his head yes with Kingsly kissing William so wildly he knocked them both to the floor.
“I love you! I love you! I love you!”
Kingsly chanted over and over again as he kissed William until the two had to eventually get up from the floor since everyone was staring at them and it was getting a bit too much for William who was not used to expressing himself so much at work.
As things were bliss for William and Kingsly, life was hell for Sebastian. He wasn’t allowed into the bedroom with Calis. The door was locked and Calis was inside packing Sebastian’s things to leave them out by the door which was not easy for Calis by any means. He was sobbing. He tried to be so strong, but he hurt so much and he was throwing Sebastian’s things into the suitcase.
Sebastian said he would leave for a while and think things through. Calis at the time took that as he always did with a cold stare and a simple nod of his head. Calis honestly was falling apart. He had never been without Sebastian and it hurt that Sebastian was seriously going to leave him for a while. Calis had said it, but he did not think Sebastian would actually do it.
Calis was also furious at himself. He hurt and he was sobbing and it was unseemly. Calis was a Lord damn it all and emotions were a weakness he did not need. So, what if Sebastian was gone. Christian and Anne were there to help him so he did not need Sebastian. Still deep down inside he did need him. Calis really needed Sebastian, but he refused to beg.
Both men were so stubborn and pig headed that they were making themselves miserable. Calis wouldn’t budge and neither would Sebastian. Both thought they were doing the right thing, but deep down they both felt like they were dying inside.
Calis wanted to rush out and tell Sebastian he forgave him everything, but the problem was if he did Sebastian might just go out and fuck around on him again. It wasn’t like Calis would do that. Calis knew he was limited on who would find him attractive and who he would allow to touch him.
Everything hurt on Calis, his back, his pride, his heart, and his mind. Everything was hurting and he wanted so much for the pain to go away. He wanted to not have to be the strong one all the time. As he threw the suitcase together he kept one thing of Sebastian’s. He kept Sebastian’s watch putting it into his pocket. Then wiping off his face he washed up then set the suitcase outside the door closing it then locking the door climbing into bed and started to sob himself to sleep.
Sebastian told Christian what he was doing and Christian thought Sebastian completely lost his bloody mind. He also was a bit pissed off since that meant he was going to be left to deal with a very cold very stubborn boy for who knows how long.
Sebastian was indeed going to be loyal to Calis which meant Christian had to start thinking about being loyal to Ashton or else he might end up in the same situation. Problem both men had was control and both figured the same thing. It was time to
go to the stupid Archangels to get some serious help.
When William got home with Kingsly, he found Sebastian sleeping on the couch since the man had been barred from his bedroom and Calis had refused dinner as well as tea. That meant Calis was still upset. Sebastian knew how important tea time was to Calis so he had fucked up majorly this time.
Kingsly gathered a blanket and put it over Sebastian gently running his fingers over that hair getting a muffled ‘Calis’ out of Sebastian as a tear poured down the man’s cheek. It made both William and Kingsly a bit concerned.
Still, the two reapers were tired and it had been a long day. The two went to bed cuddling into each other feeling such feelings of love that all they did for quite some time was stare into each other’s eyes. Both men proclaimed their undying love for each other and rested as they hoped their guests would understand if they were not up early in the morning.
Calis did not wish to sleep, he was miserable and the tears would not stop coming. His heart was breaking in two and nothing seemed to matter. He did not want to eat, he did not want to sleep, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and die.
Eventually exhaustion took Calis and the boy ended up out cold in a dreamless slumber. He did not even hear anyone waking up and when Sebastian came to check on him before he left Calis was still out cold.
Sebastian kissed that cheek and ran his fingers over that soft hair. He felt the tears flow down his face as he made his decision. He would not hurt Calis ever again. He had broken too many promises and it was done. Calis deserved better and Sebastian would do everything in his power to be the man Calis deserved.
Leaving after closing Calis’s door, Sebastian made breakfast and tea for everyone before knocking on William and Kingsly’s door. William came out looking completely worn out and tired. Still, Sebastian needed him right now and told William the situation.
William was concerned about Calis. He did not think it was wise for Sebastian to leave, but Sebastian said he had to. There was no other option for him right now and until they had some time away from each other things would be strained. Sebastian did not want to hurt Calis anymore and it was best if he just left for a while.
After getting dressed, William took Sebastian to go see Raphael. The Archangel seemed to already know what was going on. He was not happy with Sebastian in the slightest and although he offered to help he was also going to punish Sebastian for hurting Calis. Sebastian was warned and it was obvious the man did not take that warning seriously enough.
Sebastian was going to go to Midnight and he was to prepare as if he was going to war. Raphael would inform his brothers mentally so that Gabriel and Uriel would know Sebastian was coming and then they would work things out from there. Gabriel was the expert on gaining control of oneself since he had once lost control and had to learn the hard way how to live as an immortal human away from God’s light. He mastered everything in his life and would teach Sebastian these things.
Raphael also went to check up on Calis who had not left his room at this point even to have breakfast or tea. He refused to come out of his room and simply lay on the bed wishing the pain would go away this time. It was not a pain he could simply hold onto and push away to use later. It was a stabbing horrible pain that festered and burned.
Christian was informed to let Raphael know if anything changed with Calis and if not, he needed to get some serious help for the boy. It was not uncommon for a person to die from a broken heart. Calis had been hurt enough without Sebastian adding onto it.
Raphael tried to talk to the boy, but Calis did not say anything, he just lay in bed doing his best not to cry. He did not say a word back to Raphael, but Raphael gently pet the boy’s hair and told him that he would be there for him if he needed him.
Over the next few weeks, Calis still refused to come out of his room. He did finally take a bath and ate a little, but not enough to keep his strength up. His body was slowly shutting down and his heart was aching every day that Sebastian was away.
At night, Calis would cry until he did not have any more tears left and soon he started to feel numb. He stopped feeling anything at all.
William and Kingsly were getting very concerned and tried to get Calis to come out to join them for games. William was very worried and tried to get a hold of Sebastian who was nowhere to be found. Gabriel apparently had sent him away for a while to work on some things with a secret organization of Angels he had associated with. Their location was off limits even to reapers and Sebastian’s punishment was part of this training.
The demons still came around Midnight looking for Calis practically tearing apart the manor in search of that voice. They found nothing and luckily the Archangels were able to fix the damage done. Demons still did not let up though. They wanted the boy with the voice they heard and they were not going to leave the area until he was found.
Raphael said it was getting to the point they would most likely have to start the war again and after years of this silent peace it was rather unfortunate. Everything seemed to be getting worse and worse for everyone while Sebastian was away.
Kingsly and William’s wedding was coming upon them and they wanted so much for Sebastian to be there. They sent out all the invitations and had plans for Calis and Ashton to be flower children. They also wanted Calis to be the ring bearer.
Calis finally came out of his room, but he was very pale and did not look good at all. He had lost a lot of weight which was not good for the boy who was already tiny as it was. William tried to get Calis to eat more, but the boy mainly played with his food before giving up on it and going to bed ignoring his growling stomach.
Christian was to the point he was going to force food down Calis’s throat if the boy did not start eating. Ashton was also worried about Calis. He was worried that Calis was going to die.
At night Calis was sleeping with a cat as well, the stupid tabby cat Sebastian had ignored him over. Anything that reminded Calis of Sebastian was in his room with him. William had not been too keen on the cat being in the house, but if it helped Calis rest a bit more peacefully than he would allow it.
Calis named the cat Libby and prayed every night for Sebastian’s return. He would dream about Sebastian and imagined himself chasing after his butler as he had done in the story when Sebastian had read him the story of the fox and the rabbit. He was always chasing Sebastian, but Sebastian was always running away.
William finally had to go to Gabriel and ask him to please send for Sebastian to return since Calis was going to die if he did not return. Calis was so weak that he barely could walk and he was getting sick.
Gabriel said Sebastian’s training would be another week so they needed to give him that time to finish otherwise the training would go to waste. He also decided to go see Calis and see what he could do.
When Gabriel arrived at William’s house, he went straight to the bedroom where Calis was laying upon the bed looking very pale and weak. The boy had pretty much lost the will to live. All the pain he had suffered had come to a breaking point and it was time to let go of some of this pain.
“Calis I have come to talk to you. You cannot do this to yourself anymore. If you love Sebastian, you will live and you will make yourself stronger. He is trying to do everything he can to be a better man for you. Do not let his hard work go to waste.”
Gabriel said to the boy as he lifted the child out of the bed and sat him on his lap. The little thing weighed absolutely nothing and his extreme thinness worried Gabriel.
“You need to eat child. You need to care for yourself and allow those of us who love you to care for you. You also need to let go of some of the pain you have in your heart. It is killing you. Do you really want to die before seeing Sebastian again?”
Gabriel asked as he carried the child out into the other room and nodded to Christian to fix Calis some food and tea.
“No I don’t want to die before I see him. I just don’t know if I want to see him. I don’t know what I want anymore. I am a weak chil
d in this body. I am pathetic since I can’t control my own damn emotions and maybe if I do die he can be happy. Then he can be with whomever he wants……”
Calis said weakly as he coughed and tried not to cry, but the tears came anyway.
“Calis, Sebastian doesn’t want others. He wants only you. He loves only you that is why he is doing what he is doing. Angels feel intense moments of lust that are beyond their control and they tend to seduce anyone attractive even without wishing to do so. Sebastian did not know how to control his urges and thus we are teaching him.’
“He was a demon so long that he just gave into temptation constantly and it is still hard for him not to do so. You have never dealt with this my dear little cherub. You are pure and innocent with only the knowledge of a human life. Your values are different than those of an Angel or demon.’
Reapers and Angels Page 20
