“Are you finished shopping?”
Meeks looked at her. “No. I’m finished with the children but I’ve been having trouble with your gift.”
“James?”
“I’m finished. Weren’t the decorators coming this morning to decorate the house?”
“They were supposed to be there early this morning but I am sure that Garnett can handle it.”
“Are you ready to ride?”
She looked at James and nodded. Meeks stood up and took her hand as he picked up her saddlebag. They dismounted in the stable an hour later and found the house filled with workers putting up the decorations. Garnett was standing in the middle of the room with Cassie in his arms and Lizzie asking him where her mother was and why wasn’t she home. Garnett turned when he heard them come in with the most pleading look on his face.
“I don’t care how anyone feels or whether or not you can deal with the problem because if you even think that I am going to accept anything other than getting this damn mess ironed out you better think again.”
“Oh daddy, you are not allowed to use that word.”
“Lizzie.” She turned to Mirisa and her smile spread across her little face.
“Mommy, you must not ever leave daddy home alone with six children because it makes him say very bad words over and over despite our kisses.”
Mirisa walked over to Garnett and took her daughter who immediately laid up against her and closed her eyes.
“She’s been crying all morning. Dominic finally took pity on me and took the other four to breakfast and to shop.” Garnett turned to James. “And just what the hell got into you to drag her out in the middle of a damn snow…”
“Daddy!”
“Elizabeth, go up to your room right now.”
Mirisa watched as her little lip came out and the crocodile tears ran down her cheeks. “Garnett, please consider your behavior while you fix what you just did. Children do not understand meanness especially from their parents.”
Meeks walked around her up to their room. Mirisa took Lizzie’s hand and went up the stairs with the baby. She came back out and looked down at Garnett who was talking to James. Mirisa went into the bedroom and locked the door. Meeks was standing at the window smoking a cigar. Mirisa slowly undressed leaving her clothes on the floor as she crossed it. She put her arms around Meeks and laid her cheek against his back.
“Do you remember the night I told you I was staying with you?”
“Mirisa…”
“Shhh. Do you remember?”
“Of course I do.”
“How did you feel?”
“Like a miracle had happened that I didn’t deserve.”
“Take me off of the pedestal. You should have never put me up there because it puts too much pressure on me to live up to being that person. I am me, nothing more nothing less. I am a woman who loves you as much right now as I did that night in Colorado.”
Meeks pulled her around lifting her chin as he kissed her passionately. He ran his hand down her arm to her fingers kissing them slowly one at a time. “I’m afraid that it is going to take a long time for me to forgive myself.”
“Maybe you need to take yourself down from such high expectations and stop treating me like I can break.” She unbuttoned his shirt before running her fingers lightly around his waist. “I accepted the first time but I cannot accept this indiscretion for it was done to punish yourself.” She slowly led him to the bed and straddled him as he struggled between his desires and his shame. “I don’t want to ever talk about it again. I don’t ever want to see this look in your eyes when you turn to me. I don’t want to be reminded in any way. I don’t want gifts of guilt or constant apologies.” She bent down and kissed him. “All I want is your love.”
Meeks rolled her over and made love to her. She finally ran a hot bath with all the oils in the world. She submersed herself and closed her eyes as she heard the knock on the door. Meeks answered it and she could hear the voices but not the conversation. She heard the door close as quiet so she settled into the luxury of being alone. She thought about the letter and how she was going to handle it.
Mirisa dressed in jeans and a soft mohair top before tying her hair back. She powdered her nose and stood back looking at herself critically. Twenty nine wasn’t a bad age. Mirisa came down the stairs as Meeks was looking at a drawing that the decorator had made. She stopped and looked at it before walking into the library. Garnett was working at the desk and looked up when she poured a shot and walked over to the Christmas tree.
“Did your daughter accept your apology?”
“She said I had one more chance and I would have to go to my room and think about my behavior.” He poured a shot and leaned back in the chair. “Mirisa.”
“Garnett, it took me almost six years to talk about the card room so I suggest you might want to ask me whatever it is you are curious about in six years.”
“Damnit.” Mirisa turned and looked at the deep concern on his face. “I am not waiting six years to find out how you feel because how you feel is something I could write about without asking. I am trying to apologize for my part in this mess.”
Mirisa sipped her whisky. “I think I’ll check on lunch then on the decorations.”
“Mirisa.”
“Garnett this is one time that you are not responsible because I know that neither you nor James were aware of the problem. Thank you for caring about us.”
Mirisa was coming out of the kitchen as the children and Dominic came through the back door. He put all the packages on the table reaching out to pull her into his arms.
“Dominic if you say one damn word I will shoot you.”
“I always did love you when you are so mad you want to kill someone. I might suggest you start…” Mirisa pushed away from him kicking him as hard as she could. Dominic reached down as he tried to stand on one leg. “What the hell did you do that for?”
Mirisa hauled back and hit him in the chin toppling him over on the floor as the children watched in amazement. The noise brought everyone into the dining room as she stood over him with her hands on her hips. “I am not in the mood for anyone’s opinion.”
Mirisa whirled around to find the passageway filled with astonished faces. She pushed her way through the bottleneck and went into the living room to check the progress of the decorator who appeared a little more than nervous. Matthew took the girls upstairs and got out a puzzle to occupy them until things settled back down. Both he and Jonathan talked with Conrad who told them that sometimes the air must clear for people to move on. Matthew wasn’t sure what it meant but Jonathan seemed to grasp it easily.
James helped Dominic stand up and told him he’d survive. “I suggest you join us for a day away from the house.”
“But I haven’t congratulated him for screwing up.”
“Dominic.” He turned to Meeks. “If it makes you feel better than say it.”
“She should have realized after our marriage that she would never find a faithful man. I’m surprised you held out five years and did it right under her nose but she was always so naive. The problem is that we all know it is never that you grow tired of her because no woman could ever make you feel the way she does. The problem is the fear of losing her. You think nothing in life could be that good. It soon becomes overwhelming and you sabotage yourself.” Dominic lit a cigar and rubbed his chin that was bruising. “Do you even know her name?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“That’s the problem because the other women were never even something you remember. They’re nothing more than a shot of whisky after you are already drunk. My advice is if you love her don’t be as stupid as me.”
“I’ll remember that. I would appreciate if the three of you move back to the apartment. I need time alone with her.”
“Do you want us to take the children?”
Meeks laughed. “I think I can handle the children.”
“Do we need to wait to be invited over like r
egular people?”
“No. I just think it will be easier to handle the anger which seems to have taken one victim already. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”
They all left and Meeks thought they really were taking it much worse than she was. He went to find the children. Meeks heard their voices in the library and walked it to find Mirisa handing them decorations for the tree. Meeks watched them until she turned around and smiled.
“Would you like to help us?”
He walked over took the bulb out of her hand and kissed her so deeply that the children chided them both. “Lunch will be served in a few minutes.”
The children put down their ornaments and ran to the dining room where the maid was setting out lunch. Mirisa looked up at Meeks and prayed. He took her hand and they sat down to have lunch with the children. After the tree in the library was finished, Mirisa sent the girls up for a nap and brought down Cassie. She curled up on the couch and fed her. Meeks moved her over and pulled them both up against him as his fingers slowly went through her hair.
“She’s a beautiful baby.”
“Alexander, why?”
He closed his eyes because he didn’t have an explanation. “I was hurting a lot. It was an easy outlet for my anger of almost losing you, for allowing you to have the last two children and denying me the right to have any more children. She took the brunt of my anger but it cost me a lot more than what I paid her.”
Mirisa sat up. “You paid for sex?”
“Did you think it was someone I liked?”
“Was it more than once…”
“No.”
“Was she pretty?”
“Not particularly but I wasn’t there for my ego or because I needed something. I was angry.”
“Who saw you?”
“I said I was discreet.”
She handed Cassie to Meeks and went upstairs. She came back down and handed him an envelope. He looked at the front that was addressed to her then he read the letter.
“When did you get this?”
“A month ago.”
“That’s why you told the story of Rose?”
“Probably.”
“I’m sorry my behavior has hurt you so much.”
Mirisa took Cassie and put her head on Meeks’ lap. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Mirisa fell asleep with Cassie wrapped in her arms Meeks’ lit a cigar and tried to turn off his ever spinning thoughts when James came back in and sat down across from him.
“How’s she doing?”
“She’s very hurt and I’m trying to figure out a way to shoot myself to stop the pain.” Meeks handed the letter to James and watched as he read it.
“Are you going to shut down New York and go back to Colorado?”
“I thought about it but I think I’m going to take her to Virginia. I’m selling everything in New York.”
“Christmas dinner still on?”
“Nothing is being cancelled that I’m aware of.”
“And our friendship?”
“Look, this is about my inability to deal with the stress of caring about someone so much. Our friendship is fine. Why are you here when I threw you out?”
“You know things bother me more than anyone else.” James stood up and carefully lifted Cassie out of her arms as she opened her eyes and watched him. He walked in the kitchen and came back out with a bottle. “You know Garnett is willing to shoot both of your husbands.”
“It would be easier if I shot all four of you, had a great funeral and inherited all of your money but I think I love my husband more than I hate his behavior.”
“I’m worried about both of you.”
“Don’t.” She stretched. “I’m sure I will find a way to deal with everything and reassure him of my love.”
James finally took Cassie upstairs and tucked her into the cradle before he headed to his apartment. It was a long night as Meeks pondered how to make amends when she had already told him that any gifts or unusual offers would be considered to be from his guilt and that was unacceptable in her mind.
Mirisa got the children to the table for breakfast as Meeks walked out and looked at them. She was cradling the baby as she talked quietly to Lizzie. They really were nice looking children. He kissed Mirisa and told her that he would be home early.
Mirisa answered the door as Charisse stepped in out of the snow and kissed her on both cheeks. “You look a lot better than I thought you would but honestly I am going to take my brother to task.”
“I think he’s doing a good enough job doing that himself.”
“Well, there’s always the offer from Louis Sampson who still is pining for you.”
“I don’t think Louis could handle me or the fact that I am inseparable from my six children.”
Charisse laughed. “I do miss having little babies in the house.”
Mirisa pulled the cord and asked her to sit while she took Cassie up to the nursery and talked to the children. Matthew stood up and followed her out into the hallway.
“Mother.”
“Yes Matthew.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
She put both hands on his cheeks and looked into his eyes. “I don’t think your father would appreciate me making you an accomplice but I so appreciate your offer.”
“I don’t know why since you allow me to not only ride with him but to spend time in the mountains during the summer.”
“I can handle myself and I am taking Aunt Charisse with me so it will be alright.” Matthew nodded and told her he loved her.
Mirisa changed into jeans, slipped on her good boots and picked up her heavy coat. She glanced out the window as the stable boy brought out two horses and tied them up on the rail. She came down the stairs and handed the letter to Charisse to read.
Charisse put it down and smiled. “I think if you go back to Colorado that I’m going to move with you. I love the freedom of the country.”
“You love the fact that you can spend time with Garnett without it becoming front page news.”
“Do you think if I divorce Jack that I could convince him to marry me?”
“Why would you need marriage? I would imagine with a good lawyer you could take Jack for a lot.”
“It would take a really, really good lawyer because the laws still favor men financially but I have successfully moved assets into my name and Alexander has invested enough that I will be well off.”
“I didn’t know he was handling your finances. Of course, there is obviously a lot in the last year that I didn’t know about.”
“Well, are we ready to ride?”
Mirisa laughed. “We are.” They walked out the back door to the stable where the stable boy talked to them before they mounted their horses and headed west. Charisse dismounted and tied up her horse next to Mirisa’s. Mirisa walked across the alley and talked to the stable boy next to the Gentleman’s Club telling him to wait outside the back door. She gave him ten dollars and told him he would receive another hundred to take their horses back to her house. He nodded.
“I’ve never been in here.”
“Didn’t you ever try to stop his behavior?”
“No. I think after I realized that Jack was sleeping with whores I just turned off my feelings and the love shriveled up and I became another well kept wife with a fake smile. He’s not home a lot so it was actually very easy to make the children and my social circles my life. We stopped sleeping in the same room before my last child was born and I believe she was conceived during one of his drunken nights. Now I just reject his advances and he has pretty much quit trying.”
“It’s a sad way for a woman to live. There’s so much in the world to experience and enjoy yet so many women must suffer the loneliness for no reason that makes sense. I sometimes wonder if men are just driven by their physical needs.”
“Well, let’s go in and see what all the fuss is about.”
Mirisa walked up the steps and opened the door stepping into the Gentleman’s C
lub. They made it almost into the room before a man suddenly appeared in front of them.
“May I help you?”
Mirisa looked him up and down before smiling. “I doubt it.”
“This is a private men’s club and women are not allowed.”
Mirisa pulled out her gun and pointed it at him. “There is no such thing as a private men’s club. This is a brothel and you are a jackass.”
“Madame please put away the gun before it discharges.”
“Hopefully my finger won’t slip since it is pointed at you. Please move out of my way.”
“I must insist that you leave before I send for the law.”
“Really, you wish to make this a worse matter than it already appears to be?”
“You are trespassing.”
Mirisa pushed past him as she reholstered her gun and Charisse followed her into a large room that was decadent with gaming tables, lounging area and a very beautiful fully stocked bar. There were several men playing cards at a far table and a few standing at the bar. Mirisa walked up as the bartender stopped what he was doing and raised his eyebrows.
“The Madame is not available at the moment but if you are looking for employment I would recommend you return around five.” Charisse smiled as he was measuring them.
“Unfortunately, I have a very busy day planned but I was told to ask for Miss Sherman.”
“I’ll see if she’s available.”
“Excuse me; may we have a shot of whisky?”
“Of course.” He put two shot glasses on the bar and poured two shots.
“Please fill them to the top.” He hesitated and topped off each glass. The doorman watched as the bartender indicated he was to return to the door and the men at the table turned watching. They all knew Charisse and most knew Mirisa.
Mirisa placed herself so her back was to the stairs but she could see everything clearly in the mirror behind the bar. Charisse sipped the whisky and made a face.
“How do you drink this stuff?”
“It is an acquired taste but at least he serves good whisky.” She watched as several girls came down the stairs straightening out their attire as they chatted. They eyed the two women at the bar and frowned because they hadn’t heard about any new girls being hired. They all lost customers when new girls hit the floor especially when they looked so good.
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