by Dan McGirt
“Sorcery!” said Natalia, as she deftly sliced the butterfly into fluttering foil.
“So?” said Merc, leaping atop a cabinet to escape the jaws of the iron dog. “What have you got against sorcery?”
“It means Erimandras must be near.”
“Gah… gah… gah…” I wheezed, trying futilely to push the kicking frog off of me.
“Not necessarily,” said Merc, pulling a dull rock from beneath his cloak and shoving it into the maw of the ant before the artificial insect could sever his darting arm with its mandibles. The ant lost its grip on the cabinet and fell to its back to twitch erratically. “These statues could be enchanted to attack all intruders without being specifically animated and controlled.” He peered down at the ant. “I thought a piece of lodestone might bring interesting results.”
“Gah!” I responded.
Natalia decapitated the dog and then snatched up the frog by one of its hind legs and hurled it across the room. It shattered the teleportal and went on through the wall. She pulled me to my feet.
Only the bear remained. It stood on its hind legs and towered over all of us, dust whirling around it like a wreath of hellsmoke. If the frog was any guide, this bear was about a dozen tons of solid iron. It growled a metallic growl.
“Cocky monster, isn’t it?” said Merc. “It waited until we finished the others.”
“It doesn’t look like it needs help,” I said. “Do you have another lodestone to feed it?”
“Sorry. I’m all out.”
“We’ll have to fight it directly,” said Natalia.
“You first.”
The bear took the initiative, charging and knocking us all over the room with a single sweep of its club-like paw. Natalia fell across a couch. Merc stuck to a far wall. I landed on my face amid the broken glass of the teleportal.
“Round one to the bear,” I said.
“But not round two!” Natalia hurled the couch at the statue. It broke harmlessly across the beast’s thick body. Merc peeled himself off the wall and rubbed his hands together while trying to think of a useful spell.
I ran at the bear, swinging Overwhelm in a great arc and severing one of its paws. With the stump of its foreleg it shoved me to the floor and pounced. Knowing I did not want to be crushed beneath an iron bear, I rolled out of harm’s way.
Natalia attacked from the other side and hacked at one of its hind legs, only to be slapped across the room once more. The bear continued after me and I skittered fearfully across the floor until I reached the wall and willed Overwhelm into my hand.
“Get back!” said Merc. The body of the dog rose into the air and flew at the bear like a missile, striking it in the head with a tremendous clang. The bear caught the dog in its jaws, chewed it up, and swallowed it. It spit a dog leg at me. I deflected the missile.
“This is not going well,” I said.
“I’ll levitate the bear!” exclaimed Merc, proud of himself at this new idea. His face took on an expression of intense, painful concentration. “Maybe.”
The bear stopped moving toward me and seemed puzzled. Its feet rose a fraction of an inch off the floor. Unable to walk or otherwise approach me, it roared in frustration.
“Now what?”
“Kill it! I… can’t hold it up… for long.”
I approached the bear. It snarled and raked the air with its claws. I edged back. “Merc, I don’t think this thing can be killed. We could hack it up, but even with our swords, it would take a while.”
“Then get behind it and help me push it through the door.”
Natalia and I sheathed our swords and approached the bear from the rear. Lacking contact with the floor, it was unable to turn and attack us. We put our hands on its haunches and pushed, aided by Merc’s telekinesis. The bear drifted slowly across the room, gathering speed as we went and roaring all the while. It hit the door and went right through it, taking most of the wall with it. We went on into the carpeted corridor beyond and sent it through the far wall into a wine cellar, sending casks and barrels hurtling in all directions
“I’m losing it!” said Merc. The bear fell to the flagstones, turned to face us, and promptly fell from sight as the floor collapsed beneath its great weight. It was followed by a dozen barrels of wine. We heard a great splash and smelted the foul odor of sewage drifting up from the hole.
“Good plan, Merc! How did you know the floor was weaker in this wine cellar on the far side of two walls?”
“It seemed reasonable that the floors of any adjoining chambers wouldn’t be reinforced to bear such a weight.”
“We’re beneath a city,” said Natalia.
“Obviously,” said Merc. “But what city?” He examined one of the wine casks. “This is Plum Sparkle from the Trebor Trig Winery—sold exclusively in Caratha.”
“We’re in Caratha?” I asked.
“No, we’re under Caratha.” Merc led the way back into the corridor and located the footprints we hoped belonged to Erimandras. “It looks like the Overbrat has a hidden series of apartments here as his escape of last resort.”
Swords ready, Natalia and I flanked Merc as we explored the complex. In addition to the room where we had entered, we found a kitchen, a storeroom, a small study, and several closets. Everything was dusty and untended. At length, only one door remained unopened.
Merc and Natalia crouched in readiness as I kicked it in. The room beyond was dimly lit by red lanterns in the shape of demon heads. Erimandras reclined on a large bed, propped up on several cushions, his hands out of sight beneath a blanket decorated with pictures of skulls. He was slightly more opaque than he had been when we last saw him, but he still looked fairly insubstantial.
“I’ve been expecting you,” he said.
“Liar,” said Merc. “You expected us to die beneath Fortress Marn.”
“True. But I heard your battle with my guardian statues and I’ve been expecting you since then.”
“That’s more like it. This is the end, Erimandras.”
“Fools! I am Overmaster of the Dark Magic Society. I can never be defeated. I anticipate every exigency. I am your superior in every respect.”
“Then why are we tracking you down and not the other way around?” I asked. “Your minions hunted me across practically the whole of the Eleven Kingdoms. Hundreds of innocent people died and many more were endangered in your search for me. You hounded me, wounded me, tortured me, destroyed my quiet life. By all rights, I should be dead, but I’m not. The only thing keeping me on my feet at this moment, despite all my wounds and pain, is the desire to see justice done, Erimandras. Justice for me, justice for all your countless victims. You’re finished.”
“If this is so,” hissed Erimandras, “then why do you fear to tread this chamber? I lie here defenseless before you—why don’t you come and slay me?” He glared at us disdainfully. “It is because you fear me still. You know you can never win.”
“This is crazy,” said Merc. “You’re bluffing. The Cards of Power should have dissolved you permanently. Despite your survival you can’t be anywhere near your full strength.”
“Then come for me, Mercury Boltblaster. Come for me all of you—come and die!” Erimandras’s face was livid. “Or else be wise. Fall upon your knees now and swear loyalty to me. I will make you a king over half the world, Jason Cosmo. I will teach you arcane secrets you could not learn elsewhere, Mercury Boltblaster. I will forgive your betrayal, Natalia Slash, and make you queen over the other half of the world. Swear now and all is yours.”
Mercury laughed. “If you thought you could kill us, you’d have done so by now instead of wasting time with these blandishments. We call your bluff.”
The three of us stepped into Erimandras’s bedroom. The evil wizard threw back the blanket and held forth a perfect set of human teeth, wired together as if still in the mouth. “Behold the Jaws of Death!”
Merc and Natalia drew back with expressions of alarm. I picked up the cue and retreated as well.
> “You’re still bluffing,” said Merc, but he didn’t sound certain. “Using such a powerful talisman as the true Jaws of Death in your weakened state would bring your instant destruction.”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not. But it will certainly bring yours.”
The jaws flew from his hand and came at us, expanding to monstrous proportions and opening wide to engulf us all.
* * *
24
We scattered as Erimandras laughed his thin, airless laugh and the Jaws of Death snapped their way through the wall of his bedchamber, reducing the stone wall to weathered dust. Natalia turned left and sprinted down the corridor, Merc and I went to the right.
Mercury explained the threat we faced as he halted to cast a protective spell. He looked more fearful than I had yet seen him. “Death lost his jaws in a wager with Vanah, Goddess of Fortune and Chance, a couple of ages back. It was his teeth against the life of the mortal wizard Sajahk the Smiling, whom she favored. The obvious moral is that you should never gamble with the Goddess of Chance.”
The jaws broke clear of the wall and turned from side to side slowly like a Ganthian bloodhawk searching for its prey. Merc and I had spotted an adjoining passage and ducked around the corner.
“Vanah had no real use for the teeth, so she buried them beneath a mountain and surrounded them with mighty guardians—magic, monsters, traps. Naturally, when the necromancers of the world got wind of this, they were beside themselves with joy. Many expeditions were mounted to recover the jaws, eventually one succeeded.”
The clenched jaws decided to move in our direction, stalking slowly but purposefully through the air like a hound stalking a scent. The scent of life. Our scent.
“Dreadful Dwarkanath was the the one who succeeded. I think he’s one of the dark saints of the Church of Undeath now. He used to have a castle staffed entirely by animated corpses and worked closely with ghosts, wraiths, vampires, and the like. But when he tried to gain control of the jaws they swallowed him whole, reduced his entire castle to ruins, and went on a killing spree across six kingdoms before finally being banished by a large band of priests and master mages called together for that purpose. But seven thousand people had already been killed, including all those wizards and priests.”
“Seven thousand?”
He looked me dead in the eye. “I think it’s about to be seven thousand and three. No one knew where the jaws went after the battle. They were never seen again. Some suggested Death had reclaimed them. Looks like they wound up with the Overbrat instead.”
The Jaws of Death rounded the corner and streaked toward us, opening wide as they flew. We turned to flee and discovered belatedly that we had chosen a dead end corridor. The irony did not amuse me.
Mercury stood forth and cast the spell he had prepared. A huge bolt of crackling red energy flew from his outstretched hands and met the jaws in mid-flight, only to vanish into that black maw between the dreadful teeth as the jaws flew onward, undisturbed. Mercury never had a chance of getting out of the way in time, and nowhere to go anyway. He was swallowed whole, gulped into the great beyond with a moribund snap. The jaws stopped, momentarily sated, but still facing me.
Natalia appeared at the other end of the corridor, behind the jaws, and shouted for their attention. I thought that very brave and considerate of her since she could have been long gone by now, but her tactic was useless. The jaws ignored her and opened slightly, advancing on me. I was cornered, a sword and shield my only defense against a monstrous apparition that had just killed one of the most powerful wizards I knew of.
Powerful wizards? “Natalia!” I shouted. “Get Erimandras! He’s unprotected while the jaws are busy with me!” She turned to obey, but the stricken Overmaster must have heard me, for the jaws turned in place and streaked away in pursuit of her. I was right behind them and rounded the corner just in time to see Natalia swing her sword in a swift, brutal motion that chipped one of the incisors. Before she could swing again, the dental destroyer had her in its grip, swallowing her down like a grave does a coffin. I was all alone.
The sinister jaws stalked me slowly, herding me against the wall across from Erimandras’s door. I held Overwhelm out before me, but knew it was a futile gesture.
“You need not perish as your companions have done,” called Erimandras from his chamber. “Reveal to me the location of the Superwand.”
“I told you before and I’m telling you now—I don’t know where it is and if I did know, I wouldn’t tell.”
The Jaws of Death opened wide and I stared down the metaphysical throat beyond, seeing only the cold, eternal blackness of a tomb. The mingled scents of attar and carrion blew over me and I heard the faint sound of a faraway funeral dirge.
“It is total, endless, eternal oblivion you stare in the face,” said Erimandras.
“I’m not afraid to die. After all I’ve been through, how could I be?”
The jaws moved closer until the chilling teeth were almost touching me. I had nowhere to retreat. Every hair on my body stood stiff, goosebumps marched across my skin, my own teeth chattered like dice in a cup. But these reactions were purely physical, instinctive. My heart and mind were calm. This supernatural apparition held no threat for me that I hadn’t already faced. If this was how my life was to end, so be it. I had done my duty to The Gods and humankind as best I could.
“Consider carefully. There is no return from the Jaws of Death.”
“The hell there isn’t,” said Mercury.
Shocked, I looked down to the source of the voice. He was clinging to the Lower Left Cuspid of Death, quaking uncontrollably, his beard and hair shocked white as chalk, his face drained of all color.
“Merc! You’re alive!”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
“Impossible!” spat Erimandras. The teeth snapped at me. I blunted the bite with my shield and lopped off the point of the lower cuspid on the right. Merc held his place tenaciously.
The teeth closed to make a wall of enamel and shot forward, ramming me through the corridor wall. I lost my footing and fell to my back in the next chamber. The jaws snatched me up like a dog going for meat. I dropped Overwhelm and my shield and wriggled free, hitting the floor and rolling to my feet. The jaws came at me again and this time I caught them in mid-bite, preventing them from closing fully.
“Merc! Get out!”
“Gladly.” My friend pulled himself out of the abyss and crumpled to the floor like a corpse. I continued to pit my strength against the Jaws of Death, pushing them back down the corridor and into the Overmaster’s bedroom.
“What you attempt is impossible,” said Erimandras. “The certainty of Death is inexorable.”
“I don’t doubt it. But the Jaws of Death… are not Death itself… and they depend… on your power… which is dwindling.”
“Fool! You cannot defeat Death! You cannot!”
“I don’t have to defeat Death—just you.”
“I am Erimandras the Overmaster! I am—”
“Fading fast.”
He was. The will and energy he was pouring into forcing the jaws shut was undoing his recovery from the Cards of Power. His thin form was growing less solid by the second. At the same time, the force of the teeth decreased and I began to not only check them, but force them open.
“You cannot defeat me.” His protest was almost inaudible.
“Fine. We’ll just pretend.”
“Fool! If it means my utter dissolution I will summon the strength to defeat you!”
But instead, the Jaws of Death abruptly retreated, spun in place to face Erimandras, opened wide, and flew to engulf him and his entire bed before vanishing into thin air. He had become too weak to control them. The jaws had turned on him and destroyed him.
“Good show,” said Merc, crawling to the doorway. He gave me a thumbs up sign and collapsed.
“Thanks.” I fell to my knees and joined him in oblivion, the strain of being tortured, teleported, crushed by an iron frog, and nearly
swallowed by the Jaws of Death all in one day finally catching up with me.
I dreamed. Or at least it seemed a dream to me, for I floated weightlessly upward, up through the streets of Caratha, through the clouds, through the blue veil of the sky. Up and up to a place of light and beauty and music and majesty. Up until I stood upon a sward of fresh green grass and breathed sweet, pure air while brightly plumed birds flitted around me, chirping joyously. Before me was a great open gate fashioned from gold, platinum, and silver. It was decorated with shining bands of diamond, ruby, sapphire, amethyst, pearl, beryl, topaz, opal, and dozens of other gems I could not name. Beyond the gate was a street paved with gold and lined with fabulous gleaming mansions and palaces. Three people advanced toward me on foot. When they drew near, I recognized the goddess Rae, who wore a low-cut golden gown. Her companions were Arkayne, the God of Magic, and the wise and wonderful Great Whoosh. I fell to my knees.
“Arise, Jason Cosmo,” said Great Whoosh. “Even here in the outskirts of Paradise there is no need to humble yourself before us.”
“We are pleased with your accomplishments,” said Arkayne. “Erimandras the Overmaster is dead, the Citadel of Marn in ruins, the Dark Magic Society crippled by the loss of its leaders, its records, and the prospect of internal warfare. Most importantly, the threat of Asmodraxas has been checked. He shall not return.”
“And you have reminded me of the nation that honors me and reunited me with the line that is descended from me,” said Rae. “I’m so glad I became your patron goddess.”
“As am I, O Rae. But if I am in Paradise, does this mean I am dead?”
“You’re semi-dead,” said Rae.
“Indeed,” said Great Whoosh. “The toll upon your body has been great and you hover now twixt life and death. You could go either way but, as a reward to you, we grant you the power to choose. You may continue to live in Arden below or you may enter Paradise now.”
