by Lexy Wolfe
Stopping right in front of him, she met his eyes. "Once you have touched time, you cannot avoid touching time again. Even if you left now to travel alone, you will one day be driven to ease the torment of someone whose wounds are either too old or caused by a creature much like the one that attacked Edai Magus Nolyn." She covered her own heart. "You will do this because you have a good heart."
The young man flushed and looked away, scratching his head nervously. "Well, yeah, maybe. But I do not need to learn other Guardian stuff!" He froze when she put a light hand on his chest over his heart, looking as though he wanted to faint or flee in embarrassment.
"Do not deny your potential. You could be as formidable as a Githalin Swordanzen, wielding two swords as one, learning how to wield the magic of healing and the magic of time together." Her golden eyed gaze was solemn, even earnest. "The shadows that lurk in this land are many. The rare gift you possess will be needed. Perhaps sooner than any would like to imagine."
Valerian frowned. "Su'alin Kiya, your words make me mindful of my own feelings since I have come into Forenta's borders. Tell me, have you been scrying the elements?"
The woman looked over her shoulder towards Valerian without turning. "I do not know this word, 'scrying.' But those who follow both the Paths of the Sword and Spirit commune with the heart of the world in many ways, through many mediums, to become one with the land, if only for a short while. Sometimes we have visions. Sometimes, only feelings."
She looked up at Tobias again. "I know it is a frightening thing, and those you trusted have told you terrible things. Things meant to hobble you. But trust me. I can see the truth of your heart. You have yearned for freedom, but now that the tresses are removed, you are afraid to spread your wings. Trust Unsvet Guardian Valerian to teach you. He will guide you and keep you from harm."
"But," he began, falling silent when she touched his lips lightly.
"The spirits here speak of your sister, who has walked this path before you, Tobias." She glanced at Valerian as he walked closer to the pair. "You wish to be more like her?"
"Taylin? Of course!" Running his fingers through his hair, he spoke with more certainty in his voice. "She is the most powerful healer in the... from the Zeridian temple. She always defied the Grand Master. He said that healers should remain within the temple's grounds and if people needed healing, they would come to the temple.
"She refused to obey him, though. She would use his own words against him. That to become a stronger healer, you have to use your healing skills. To see more complex injuries. She said that some of the most challenging healing came from those who were unable to be moved at all. But she was better at sneaking out than I was. So she made master a lot sooner than most at the temple and that meant the Grand Master couldn't order her around like he can journeymen.
"When the Dusvet Guardian asked her to travel with him, she said yes. So when Valerian came to the temple, I..." He looked at Valerian, flushed and turned his face away. "I thought there would be challenges if I went with him. I didn't go with him to become a Guardian."
Valerian put his hand on Tobias's shoulder. "I didn't take you with to make you one, Tobias. But Su'alin Kiya is right. You have proven you can unconsciously touch time. Wild talent is dangerous."
"But I want to be a healer. Everyone who has ever been taken from the temple has lost that," Tobias said, in a plea for understanding.
"You don't have to give up being a healer, Tobias. The Dusvet Guardian had proven that when he brought Master Healer Taylin to Fortress and the Timeless One accepted her as an Adept." Meeting the journeyman's shocked stare, he said gently, "Yes. Your sister is learning to become a Guardian."
"Buh what?" The young Sevmanan man did a double take, staring at Valerian. "That's not possible! Taylin is a master healer! Master's can't become Guardians."
"The Dusvet believes otherwise," the Vodani replied, shrugging one shoulder. "Taylin was the first master to be accepted by the Timeless One to become a Guardian of Time. All those who returned with the Dusvet Guardian were being tested to be accepted as official students when I had departed Sanctuary. Not even being a mortal servant of another god is a barrier. There is particular interest in the Illaini Magi and the Githalin Swordanzen."
"What?!" Kiya took a half step back in shock. "No! A master of skill is one thing, but the Githalin Swordanzen are the mortal servants of the Raging One. Desantiva needs the Githalin to return! That is why I am here. They must return to Desantiva!"
Valerian noticed the Swordanzen approaching from the training area, swords in hand as they responded to her distress. He held up both hands in a warding gesture to the woman's alarm. "Even if by some miracle the Githalin Swordanzen are blessed by the Timeless One, they would not be restricted from returning to Desantiva. Guardians have neglected their duty to your people, but at your own god's request. The Timeless One needs to be welcomed back to your nation, and if the only Desanti who had gone to learn from Her are Githalin Swordanzen, then perhaps that is how—"
"We do not need Guardians!" Kiya snapped, her anger flashing in the depths of her tawny brown eyes. "We have not needed you for uncountable generations." She lowered her veil in front of her face again, seething as she turned on her heel. "We do not need you now!" The Swordanzen, trading looks of bewilderment briefly, quickly followed the woman.
"Wow," Tobias said after a long silence. "Miss Kelafy wasn't kidding about Desanti tempers. I thought she meant just the Swordanzen, though. Su'alin Kiya always seemed so quiet and... uh, tame, I guess. I thought she was going to stab you!"
"For a moment, so did I," the Guardian admitted. "The Dusvet Guardian always said Desanti were temperamental as a people. But this level of inflexibility is dangerous." Valerian frowned as he watched where the five had gone, long out of visual sight.
Chapter 54
"Su'alin Kiya na'Citali," the young messenger stated with all formality. "It has been nearly four sevendays since you had spoken with Se'edai Magus Ellis Avarian. He wishes to know if today you have any further insight into your conversation."
Kiya sighed and shook her head. "He has sent one of you every day since then. The answer has not changed." The messenger bowed and turned on his heel to jog away.
Seeker stepped up to Kiya, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and offered a wan smile. The Swordanzen frowned a bit. "Ever since you met with the Se'edai Magus after freeing the Edai Magus from the su'dinnais, you have been distracted. What is wrong?" He scowled. "Did he harm you somehow that you are ashamed to reveal? Is that why his messengers keep coming to you? To taunt you?"
"No, of course not, Rengi." He frowned at her, crossing his arms in outright disbelief. She smiled affectionately at him. "I have never been able to hide anything from you. I would never be able to hide such dark intentions of another if it were directed at me. Remember what you did to the last man who thought to mock me after the clans had gathered?" A feral smile touched his lips with the memory. She sighed, drawing his attention again. "The Se'edai Magus is a good man. For a treewalker. He has a true desire to bring the Forenten and Desanti people together in peace. I never imagined I would ever see the like."
Seeker looked dubious. "I still worry that he knows how to deceive your vision to fool you." His irritation faded to worry when her shoulders sagged. "I am not doubting your gift, Kiya."
"You are not doing anything that I am not myself. There is something… some darkness that poisons this land. But I cannot find it. I do not even know what it is." She covered her face with both hands. "I thought myself strong enough to come here. Perhaps Father was right. Another should have come here, not me. I am—" She looked up in confusion when Seeker grabbed her wrist, pulling her to her feet. "What are you doing?"
Seeker didn't look back at her as he pulled her along. "You are making yourself crazy chasing your own tail." He looked back. "We are going to this Market Circle. Perhaps our gypsy friends are there and you can spend some time with them learning more of their songs
and dances."
"But—"
"But nothing! If Etaio's clan is not there, then we will find something else to distract your mind." He frowned at her. "I will not return to Desantiva to tell Father that you drove yourself across the blade out of despair." She flushed and averted her eyes. "I am not Su'alin, Kiya. But I remember Tanak. It was not a good death for anyone involved when he went out of his mind."
"You are right," she admitted after several heartbeats. "I just don't know what to do, Rengi."
Seeker slowed his pace, releasing her wrist to walk beside her. "Tell me what he said that distresses you so, Kiya."
She sighed heavily, looking away. "The Se'edai Magus asked me to-to be the voice of our people to his."
Skidding to an abrupt stop, Seeker stared at Kiya. "He asked you that? What did you tell him
She threw her hands up helplessly. "What could I tell him? I cannot speak for the people unless they wish it or unless our great father gives his blessing so the tribes could not deny it." She sighed, leaning against the bridge rail, looking out into the forest forlornly.
"Have you spoken to Citali?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Surely he would be able to advise you." She shook her head. He frowned. "Why not?"
"I do not know what answer I want to hear," she whispered. "If the Githalin Swordanzen would return now, it would not matter. We could all return to Desantiva and forget about these treewalkers." She smiled sheepishly. "I keep hoping that they return soon so I do not have to ask. Or face what I want at the risk of being forbidden from having it."
"Storm and Skyfire are not likely to return before the Se'edai Magus will stop asking and instead demand an answer." Seeker squeezed her hand gently. "And there is Nolyn Lirai. It would not be right to leave things unresolved between you." She flinched, trying to pull away, but he held her firmly. "I know he has touched your heart, Kiya. And you have touched his." He smirked faintly. "There are few Desanti who would face four Swordanzen with drawn weapons for any reason. But he did that as well as four drizzen who would have torn him to pieces. For you."
She shook her head. "It does not matter. It should not matter. Our purpose is to find the Githalin Swordanzen and return to Desantiva with them. Nothing else." She sighed, leaning back against him as he embraced her loosely from behind. "We choose to serve the Raging One and the people. He wants them home. Our wants are irrelevant."
"You are wrong. I chose to serve. And one day when I can bear the separation from the tribe no more, I will have to choose to lay down my sword before I am driven to my death, as much as I would grieve doing so. But you never had any choice." He turned her around to face him, touching her temple near her eye lightly. "Su'alin do not choose. They are born. Father gives none with the gift a choice. While I mourn the loss of our mother, I think the accident that impaired Radisen's spirit vision was a blessing for him. If not for it, Father would never have allowed him to follow the Path of the Sword."
He put his arms around Kiya as she leaned against him, her voice a soft whisper. "It is terrible to think that what happened to Mother was for the best, but… I have envied him sometimes. He was able to choose a path that suited him, not one decided for him." She hid her face against his chest. "Ah, Citali, how can I even think that incident was a good thing when it killed Mother? I am a terrible person."
"You are not terrible," Seeker soothed. "Mother's death has little bearing on Radisen's life. He would likely have followed the same path even if she had lived because she would have convinced Father to let him go. With her gone, it was his impaired vision that drove him. He wanted to serve Desantiva. And that drive not only made him a Swordanzen, but a Githalin Swordanzen."
Kiya shook her head, looking up at Seeker. "But he didn't want to serve Desantiva. Or at least, that was not what had driven him to go to the Tyluri to begin training." Seeker blinked at her in surprise. "Radisen had fled the tribe because he could no longer bear Father always blaming him for Mother's death. He nearly died in the desert having torn the tribal bayuli-volsha from himself.
"It was Storm il'Thandar who found him and saved him. She brought him back and convinced Father to allow him to be part of the tribe again until he earned his Swordanzen name. He decided to follow the Path of the Sword because he wanted to be close to her. To be with her. That is why he was failing to be Named a full Swordanzen for so long. He wasn't learning to serve the people. Just himself."
Seeker frowned, looking away to the side as he pondered the implications. "Something had changed. It had to if Kailee Named him as her Githalin Swordanzen, not simply a Swordanzen."
"Something had caused him to put Desantiva before himself finally. It was not just about Storm il'Thandar, but about our great father and our people. He finally got his priorities straight."
No, a quiet but strong voice said in their minds. Because Desantiva became a part of him.
Both Kiya and Seeker startled, their eyes wide in shock as they turned to look at the ghostly image of Anibu seated on the railing beside them. Jumping back, they offered deep, respectful bows. The Su'alin lifted her veil to bare her eyes to the Totani. "Honored Anibu, I did not call you," Seeker said uncertainly. "What is wrong? What do you need me to do?"
The humanoid shadow jackal chuckled softly. Relax, dear one. Citali told us you are both deeply troubled. Since he cannot speak to the living on their side of the veil without great effort, I offered. He made a casual, dismissive gesture. Besides, if our lord would appear to speak with you, you would be beside yourselves about His appearance instead of what He had to say. He waved a hand at his ghostly form. And this is easier than physically appearing. Less energy and none of the mageborn can see me. He gave Seeker a fond, if scolding, look. I have only so much patience, waiting for you to call on me to answer your questions, my Seeker. So, I come to you.
Kiya raised her eyes. "Shadowed One, what do you mean that Desantiva became a part of Radisen? Is that not what being one of the people means?"
Yes. And no. Yes, all of the children are a part of Desantiva. Just as you are all a part of each other and, though most of you no longer feel it, you are part of the world itself. Just as a rock is a part of the world or a bird, a plant, or beast is a part of the world. But being a part of the land or the people does not qualify just anyone to be a Githalin anymore than for the rock or bird or beast to be chosen to serve the Raging One. Anibu idly scratched behind his ear. Besides, there are not enough Totani for all of the children to be Githalin.
Seeker frowned, crossing his arms as he began pacing. Anibu watched him, waiting patiently. "But I love our great father. I love our land and our people, and I have given up everything to serve them all. I would give my life for them."
Yes, you had done all that and you do all you say, Anibu replied, his voice gentle, tilting his head. And we love you for all of it. But that is not Githalin.
"I am not good enough to be a Githalin," Seeker half demanded, half stated, glaring at the Totani.
You are assuming things, dear one. The Totani paused a moment, then added, The Paths are not roads to becoming Githalin. They are a means of mortal devotion to us and the Heart of Desantiva and service to the land and the people.
"Then what is a Githalin?" Kiya wondered in puzzlement. "If not the very best Swordanzen who has dedicated themselves to Desantiva?"
Anibu's eyes sparkled with bemusement and sadness. So close. You almost asked the right question.
Kiya sighed gustily, trading a growingly exasperated look with her brother. "So what is the right question then?"
If I told you that, then you would have your answer. Anibu did not flinch as Seeker growled and swung at him, the man's hand passing through the ghostly image of the Totani. I will tell you what Githalin is not. It is not pure selflessness. There is no such thing, because even when you are doing something for someone else, you are doing it for yourself as well. It is not perfection. Perfection does not exist. Even the gods have flaws. It is not pure mastery, because there is alw
ays more to learn.
Seeker clenched his fists, looking up as he schooled his temper. "Then what is a Githalin?"
Anibu's smile broadened with pride. That, my Seeker, is the right question. He rose, moving to stand in front of the siblings. A Githalin is Desantiva.
"That isn't an answer, Anibu," Seeker growled.
The Totani smiled wanly. It is the answer I may give you. It is for you to discover what that means to you. The answer you each seek is as individual as you are. Just as each Githalin is unique.
Kiya closed her eyes, turning her face away from Anibu. "Thank you, honored Anibu." She turned back when she felt his ghostly fingers on her chin.
Citali's heart aches for you, young Kiya. It is as my Seeker has said. You had not been allowed a choice in whether you followed the Path of the Spirit. Now you harbor doubts. You harbor resentment towards all who have had the freedom to choose their life's paths. And you hate your own life. She could only nod. When he placed his hand over her brow, she gasped at the sharp pain, falling to her knees.
"Kiya!" Seeker knelt by her, holding her close. When she looked up, her eyes were a dark brown with only flecks of gold. "Kiya?"
She stared with wide, terrified eyes. "I-I cannot see! Rengi, I cannot see spirits."
"What?" He glared up at Anibu, horrified. "What did you do to my sister?!"
I have done what my brother asked me to do. Anibu looked at Kiya, deep sadness in his pale blue eyes. I have closed your soul's eyes. You are not bereft of the spirit world, child. But you are now free. Discover the world anew, see the world through new eyes. Your path is yours to choose.
Standing shakily, Kiya asked in a small voice, "Citali… Citali does not… he does not hate me? I have not displeased him?"
By our lord, no, Kiya. In fact, you are most precious to him. You have lived your life a prisoner to others' demands. Even requests were seen as demands that duty required you attend to. Never once did you say no to a request, even when you wanted to. Never once did you say yes to something that diverged from the Path, even when it was your heart's desire. Anibu turned to walk away, beginning to fade from their sight. He paused a moment, looking over his shoulder. You are a prisoner no more. Seeker closed his eyes in sympathy as his sister buried herself into his embrace, sobbing softly.
