That sounded perfect.
She started to agree, but suddenly her world tipped out from under her, common sense deserted her, and all the safeguards she’d put in place to keep the crazy at bay spiraled out of her control. She opened her mouth, but the voice she heard wasn’t her own. Hu Sun’s evil hiss whispered lies in her ears, telling her she didn’t deserve to be happy—that her sins were too great for anyone to forgive . . . except Hu Sun. It wasn’t lost on her that the thoughts were her own, wrapped in Hu Sun’s all too familiar whisper. That didn’t make it any less real, however. She didn’t want to listen—didn’t want Nate to see how pathetic she was, but Hu Sun’s vile monotone drew her, hypnotized her, like he’d done a hundred other times.
We’ve still got tonight? He doesn’t care about you. He wants you in his bed—just like all the others.
Alex tossed her head, determined to shut out the phantom voice that whispered pure wickedness. She wouldn’t listen. She trusted Nate.
You barely know him. He’s bullshitting you, and you fell for it. Do you think he slept with you because he wanted you? That’s a laugh. He wants to control you. Use your head or he’ll own you before this is over.
She darted a glance over her shoulder and pressed her hands to her ears. Please God, make it stop.
Her gaze shot to Nate’s, and he studied her like she’d just sprouted two heads. He leaned forward and kissed her temple. She locked her elbows and pushed against him while panic and bewilderment clutched at her throat.
See? You can’t trust him. He’ll use you, just like the rest.
Alex shook her head slowly, vehemently. Why would she believe the monster that’d made her life hell for so long? Nate was the one who cared for her. When he looked at her with sweet concern crinkling his brow, hope filled her, and she dared to wish for things she’d long since given up on.
Don’t be a fool. He doesn’t care about you.
Alex swung around, her breathing erratic. She dropped her head in her hands and covered her ears, trying to shut out the ugliness. In spite of her hatred for Hu Sun, he knew her better than anyone. He’d made her who she was, and she was still helpless against him.
As reason fled, his insidious voice started to make sense.
Chapter 10
“ALEX?” NATE RAISED his hands and stepped back when she shoved against him. The blank stare she turned on him was one he’d seen before, when she was faced with danger and about to retreat into a world of her own making. This time, however, her gaze was for him alone, and it was uncharacteristic enough to send a chill crawling across his skin.
What had caused her to suddenly become distrustful of him? Was it something he’d said or done? All along, she’d been adamant that she was crazy, warning him from the get-go. Maybe there was more truth to that than he cared to admit, but, even now, watching a stranger squirm inside her skin, he refused to give up hope. Alex was one of the strongest women he’d ever met. She’d had to be to survive her ordeal. He had to believe she could do just about anything she set her mind to.
A hint of recognition glimmered in her eyes and made him suspect she was at least partially there with him. The stiff smile she wore matched the detachment in her closed expression, however, and didn’t ease his concerns one bit.
Her breathing quickened, and she pressed the palms of her hands more firmly against her ears. Was she hearing voices?
Nate stepped toward her and began filling the air with inane conversation—anything so she’d pay attention to his voice. “Darlin’, we’ll make s’mores after dinner. When I was a kid, we never went camping without stuff to make s’mores. You should have seen my sisters. They always managed to get more marshmallow and chocolate on their faces than in their mouths.”
Her eyes met his, and he took another step. “Maybe we should roast hot dogs for dinner, since we’ll need a fire for the marshmallows anyway. Sound okay?”
She gave a brief nod and folded her arms around her stomach. It had to be a good sign that she no longer covered her ears, but she still wasn’t talking.
“How about that walk in the moonlight? Work up a little appetite. What do you say?”
Her eyes narrowed, and she looked away. “A walk sounds good.” Her delivery held all the excitement of a sprained ankle.
Still, it was more than he had a few seconds ago. He reached for her hand with a relieved smile.
On contact, Alex jerked away and stepped back. Hatred shone from her eyes and knifed clear through to his soul. Her voice dripping with scorn and hopelessness, she became a different person right in front of him. “Forget the food, the wine, and the moonlight. If sex is what you want, that’s what you’ll get. I don’t need romantic trappings.” She swung away from him toward the RV.
What the hell? Nate braced his hands on his hips and stared at her back. He was sure of only one thing. The Alex he knew wasn’t in this conversation yet. There had to be a way through the nightmare that held her prisoner.
“As interesting and . . . uninspired as that sounds, where the hell did that even come from, Alex?”
She turned back, chin trembling, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, isn’t that what you were after with your little we’ve-still-got-tonight speech?”
Ah, hell . . . that’s what ticked her off? The dialogue from the last few minutes ran quickly through Nate’s mind, but damned if he could figure out why she’d gone off on him. No doubt some memory from her past had snuck up on her, and she might not even realize who she was talking to. He had to tread lightly. When her past collided with her present, it would likely be painful.
“I’d be lying if I said making love to you hasn’t been on my mind most of the day. Hell, we were on our way a few minutes ago . . . if Joe hadn’t called. Do you remember? So yeah, but I want to know you better out of the sack too.”
She huffed a skeptical laugh and turned away.
He reached for her hand, and pulled her around in front of him. “Wait a minute. What’s going on in that head of yours? I’m not the enemy. I’ll always be on your side, just like tomorrow when I tell Joe you’re not walking in there alone—not as long as I’m still alive.”
That got her attention and seemed to give her something to focus on. Her gaze darted around like she was taking stock of where she was before it landed on him. “You . . . said you were going to let it go, didn’t you? Why did you change your mind?”
She seemed confused, but almost back to normal, and he burned with the need to hold her, anchor her. He caught her chin so she couldn’t look away. “I didn’t change my mind.” He shook his head emphatically. “It’s always been a lousy idea. I merely stopped arguing with you and Joe because all that got me was mad. I don’t know which one of you is more bullheaded.”
A scornful chirp escaped her. “You’re a contender for that title too, Detective.”
Nate started to protest, but she was right. “You better believe it, darlin’. I’m going to be on you like butter on bread tomorrow.”
“It’s Joe’s gig. He calls the shots.”
“Watch me.” Nate couldn’t control his grin, in spite of her exasperated sigh. Even pissed off, it was good to have her back.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She rubbed her hand over her forehead as though she’d gotten a headache from their little interchange.
She wasn’t the only one. “Suits me. You owe me an apology, though.” He forced his stubborn grin into submission.
“What for?” Her brows pulled together.
“You suggested all I was interested in was a roll in the hay . . . a good lay . . . a piece of ass. I find that sexist and demeaning.”
A flash of humor sparkled in her eyes. She covered her mouth and glanced away as her cheeks took on a reddish hue. “You’re right, Detective. Apparently, I thought you were more interested in sex than you actually are. I apolog
ize and, now that I know better, I’ll stop pressuring you.”
Sweet relief made Nate weak in the knees even though he still didn’t fully understand what just happened. He couldn’t escape the feeling he’d nearly lost her—maybe not physically, but emotionally. Her mental lapses were apparently as much a part of her as a military warrior’s PTSD, and he’d better get on board if he wanted to help her.
“You can pressure me as much as you like.” He motioned back and forth between them. “Are we okay?”
A slow breath left her. She blinked, focused on him, and visibly straightened her spine. “I’m sorry, Nate. Guess I’ve turned into a real pain in the ass too.”
“You did fine.” Nate stepped forward, tugged her close, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head as it rested against his chest. “Would you do me a favor?”
“What kind of a favor?” Instantly, skepticism shaded her voice.
“Nothing too difficult. Next time you feel yourself going down that road, would you try to talk to me before you lose yourself—before I lose you? It’s called communication. Funny thing about it—you need at least two people to make it work. We’ll practice tonight—while we’re not having sex.” He poked her in the ribs just to drive his point home, and she jumped and rubbed against him. Everything below his waist tightened in response.
She leaned into him, her small hands resting on his biceps. “Thanks for not giving up on me.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t give up on people I care about. Not ever.”
She looked away and inhaled a deep breath as a pink hue colored her cheeks. “What do you want to do now?”
Nate groaned as he lowered his mouth slowly toward hers. “Well, hell. We either need to get some dry clothes on . . . or get out of them altogether. Course, we can’t do the latter because that would only prove you were right about my primary interest.” He moved his lips over hers, his tongue slipping through, unimpeded. When he felt her body molding to his, he forced himself to stop and lift his head. “So we’re not going there . . . yet.”
Troubled eyes searched his for a moment before she straightened in his arms.
“Do you really think this is smart?”
“What? This?” He covered her lips and his tongue slipped between them again. The combined heat of their bodies was enough to combust something, and Nate suspected it might be him. Reluctantly, he pulled away. Clearing his throat, he brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. “It’s about the smartest thing I’ve done in a long time. Don’t be afraid of me, Alex.”
She trailed her fingers down his cheek. “I’m not. I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. You’ve seen how I get. I . . . I’m not right, and I probably never will be.”
The anguish in her voice awakened his protective side. Foolishly, he’d thought his job would be the only deterrent to a long-term relationship. She obviously had reservations of a different nature. Maybe he didn’t have any business caring about her, but it was a damn sight too late to worry about that now.
“Sounds like we’re both slightly less than perfect. Don’t ask me to stop caring about you or even to stop wanting you, because I won’t. Not unless you give me a better reason than that—like you can’t stand my ugly mug or something.”
A sad smile transformed her worried visage, and she lifted a hand to his cheek, scraping her fingers across his whiskers. “I kind of like your mug.”
“Good.” Relief surged through him, and he kissed her gently, thoroughly. “Maybe we’re not a match made in heaven, but hell isn’t going to win without a fight. Agreed?”
She cocked her head to one side, and then nodded. “If it’s a fight you’re wanting, I can arrange that.”
“That’s my girl. Let’s go change and get ready for that walk.”
She stood still, gave him a slow smile, and pressed against the hard bulge in his jeans. He regarded her warily as she rose on her toes to reach his mouth, brushing it lightly with hers and then tracing his closed lips with the tip of her tongue until he pushed her away a step. She grinned mischievously.
“I’m not that easy.” He turned her toward the RV and gave her a playful swat on the ass.
They quickly changed and headed for the marina, hand-in-hand. The heat of her gaze bored into the side of his head as she matched his stride. At her girlish giggle, he turned.
“You’re going to make me beg for sex now, aren’t you?” She smiled, eyes twinkling.
For a moment, his gaze lingered on her lips. “That’s the plan.” Nate faced straight ahead again, trying to control a crazy urge to take her right there.
The sun had disappeared while they stood outside locked in each other’s arms, and dusk was descending over the campground. The windows of Ben’s store were awash with light, but the only other illumination came from the full moon and one power pole with a flood lamp mounted two-thirds of the way up. The moon was the brighter of the two.
Nate proceeded to the dock behind the store. It wasn’t the most private spot with Ben just inside the thin-walled building, but, considering the attack on them this afternoon, Nate would trade a little privacy for whatever security their proximity afforded. The water stretched before them, dark and still. Periodically, something rose from the depths to snatch a morsel from the latest hatch of insects, barely leaving a ripple in its wake.
He unlaced his boots, kicked them off, and stuffed his socks inside before sitting on the edge of the wooden planks. As his feet hit the water, he sucked in a breath. “Man, it wasn’t this cold earlier.”
“Wimp.” She made an impatient sound.
“I beg your pardon? Did you just tsk me? Were you a schoolmarm in another life? Put your feet in the water and then tell me it’s not a hell of a lot colder now.” Nate pulled her down beside him.
Alex took her sweet time getting her slip-on canvas shoes off before she settled her feet into the water. To his annoyance, she had absolutely no reaction to the water’s temperature. She either had no feeling in her toes or, with some kind of amazing mind control, she was acting to make him look like a wuss. Two could play that game.
“Really? That feels good to you?”
“Just right.” She swished her feet through the water, splashing onto his, causing him to flinch and suck in more air. She snorted a laugh and then flashed him a what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it grin.
Oh yeah. He’d been right about her. She knew exactly what she was doing. But what she couldn’t possibly know was that he never passed up a dare like that. He rubbed shoulders with her, slipped an arm around her waist, and nuzzled her neck. “I could get used to the water. Wanna go skinny-dipping?”
She turned sideways to stare at him, her brows raised and a disbelieving little smile on her lips. “Yeah, right. In your dreams, Detective.”
He kissed her ear and then let his lips hover there. “Wrong answer, darlin’.” With one motion, he swept her off the end of the dock and into the lake for the second time in three hours.
Alex hit the water just in front of the dock with her mouth open, screaming—or maybe it was a series of swearwords—he couldn’t be sure. Nate threw back his head and roared with laughter . . . until she promptly sank. He jumped to his feet, waiting for her to resurface. When she did, she was floating on her back nine or ten feet farther out.
His grin fell away as her lack of movement brought him to the edge of the planks. You’ve got to be kidding! Did she bump her head on the dock? She seemed to answer his silent question when the water closed over her head once more.
Nate tossed his handgun on the dock and dived in headfirst, covering half the distance before he surfaced to look around. Where the hell was she? No sign of her, so he breathed deeply and dived again, searching fruitlessly in the cold, dark water. Damn it! Why did he push her in? He had to find her. There was no other acceptable outcome.
When he came up for air
, he was in approximately the same spot where he’d seen her last. He swung toward the dock to get his bearings, prepared to dive again, but stopped short and stared. A slender, petite woman pulled herself from the lake onto the dock and stood for a moment with her back to him.
Alex wrung out her hair before she turned. “How’s the water now?” Her soft laughter carried across the intervening space.
I’m going to kill her! Nate continued to tread water where he was. If he set foot on that dock too soon, he might just make good on his threat. Maybe he’d had that coming for pushing her in, but, goddamn it, she’d scared the shit out of him. She’d made him think she was hurt and drowning—that he might lose her. He’d been practically sick to his stomach with fear and desperation. What was funny about that?
“Nate? Are you all right?” Alex peered into the darkness toward him.
“Not really. Maybe you better come and get me.”
“Be serious.” She laughed softly but a nervous vein ran through her words.
“I am serious. Believe me, it will be much better for you if you come to me than if I have to hunt you down.” He started moving toward the dock.
Her hands flew to her hips. “Don’t be a poor sport. You started it!”
“You’re wet—I’m wet—harmless fun.” He was within five feet now and could see her face clearly.
A perplexed frown drew her brows together. “What’s the problem then?”
Nate reached the pier and pulled himself out of the water. He stalked toward her, and she had the wisdom to back away until, water at her back, she ran out of pier. Pushing her right to the edge, he watched her balance there, not leaving her any room to duck around him. If she tried to get away from him, she was going in again.
Whatever It Takes Page 15
