by Karin Baine
He brushed the two telltale signs of her distress away with the pads of his thumbs. Although he couldn’t say it without sounding like a patronising ass, he was proud of her.
‘I have no doubt about that. I just want you to know that I care about you.’
At this moment in time someone needed to tell her that, show her that, and remind her she wasn’t alone.
He’d only intended to give her a friendly peck on the lips—not too far removed from the double cheek-kiss greeting he exchanged with his sister or his fellow countrymen. Except kissing Lola definitely wasn’t the platonic gesture he’d imagined.
Her mouth was soft and yielding beneath his, and he couldn’t resist dipping inside to taste her sweetness. She met him with a tentative nudge of her tongue and Henri was lost. With her head cradled in his hands, he deepened the kiss, every primitive urge he had rising above his good intentions.
Only when she stiffened against him did common sense prevail. He sprang away from her, eager for her to put back those barriers that he’d so stupidly breached.
‘I’m so sorry, Lola.’
He raked his hands through his hair, repenting his sins immediately. All he’d done was compound her fears that no man could be trusted. Kissing her when she was vulnerable and frightened made him no better than the sleaze who’d accosted her in the first place.
It was no wonder she was frozen to the spot, those big green eyes wide and alert. He’d broken her trust in a moment of madness, with no rhyme or reason behind his actions except for pure, unadulterated lust. Inexcusable behaviour—and, apart from every other personal violation against Lola, most definitely a sackable offence. He’d screwed up big time and all he could do was beg for her forgiveness.
‘This is entirely on me. I got carried away. You know I would never do anything to hurt you.’
He cringed at the words—probably used the world over to excuse a multitude of sins against women. In this case he meant them with every fibre of his being.
The only thing that unnerved him more than his loss of control was Lola’s silence. It was no surprise that she’d shut herself off, since he’d heaped one violation on top of another. He was her superior, supposedly her friend, and he had no business laying a finger on her no matter what the circumstances.
‘Lola, talk to me—hit me. Do something so I know you’re okay.’
If it wouldn’t have compounded the offence he would have shaken her. She was scaring the hell out of him. Had he pushed her over the edge into some sort of delayed shock? Post-traumatic stress wouldn’t be unusual in such cases. He desperately needed her to come back into the room and leave wherever it was she’d gone in her head.
‘I have to go.’
Those four little words as she blinked back at him and slowly returned to her body were enough for Henri to breathe a sigh of relief. Yet they weren’t enough to stop him worrying as she left in a trance-like state. He wouldn’t go after her—he’d done enough damage—but he would make sure to send someone to check on her.
Other than Lola, the only person who could possibly hate him more than he hated himself right now would be Gabrielle. With one selfish move he’d destroyed not one but two budding relationships.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘I’M REALLY SORRY. Gabrielle was so looking forward to seeing you, and Angelique is at Bastien’s parent/teacher evening at the school. I couldn’t get hold of you to check this was still okay.’
Henri hovered on Lola’s doorstep, almost using Gabrielle as a shield in front of him. Of course he hadn’t been able to get her permission for a visit, since she’d avoided all forms of attempted communication from him. There were dozens of unread texts on her phone, and calls that she hadn’t been able to bring herself to answer. She knew beyond all doubt how sorry he was about kissing her. The trouble was she couldn’t fully fathom how she felt about it.
‘You said you’d show me the basics...’
Gabrielle fidgeted with her braid and guilt-tripped Lola over her reluctance to let Henri get close stand in the way of her promise.
In truth, it was her own actions she was worried about—not his. He’d surprised her with that kiss. She’d had no idea he’d ever looked at her as anything other than a pain in his backside. Perhaps he’d simply felt sorry for her? Whatever the cause, it had made her question how she saw him. There was definitely an attraction there. An unwanted one.
‘Maybe we should leave. If you’d prefer, you and Gabrielle can make arrangements for another time and her mother will accompany her in future?’
Now Henri was being the reasonable one. And she couldn’t avoid him for ever when they worked at the same hospital—in the same department, for goodness’ sake. Besides, what had gone on between them wasn’t Gabrielle’s fault, and she shouldn’t be punished for it.
‘Not at all. Come in.’
This evening was about having fun with Gabrielle. Everything else could wait.
‘Phone me when you want me to pick her up.’
With his head down and shoulders slumped, Henri turned to leave.
Gabrielle faltered once she saw he was leaving. ‘Aren’t you coming in, too, Uncle Henri?’
Although she hadn’t wanted to discuss anything in front of him, it was only natural she should want him nearby. Lola didn’t want to upset her by sending him away and leaving Gabrielle with someone who was pretty much a stranger to her.
Henri halted, waiting for instruction. It put Lola’s mind at ease that he wouldn’t push her into anything she didn’t feel equipped to deal with right now. If he could sit in a corner somewhere, without uttering one word in that accent that should come with a health warning, they might make it through the evening without any more drama.
‘You’re very welcome to stay, Henri,’ she said, her breath hitching even as she invited him in.
This was a different kind of fear than she’d ever known before—an excitement about the unknown rather than the paralysing wait at another’s mercy.
His face relaxed into a smile and he mouthed ‘Thank you’ as he brushed past her. Even that small contact sent a surge of electricity zapping across her skin. Evidently that one kiss had stirred a passion she hadn’t even known was still there after everything she’d been through.
The timing couldn’t have been worse. After all her hard work to get where she was today, she didn’t want to jeopardise it by falling for her boss. It was only asking for trouble with a man like Henri.
She closed the door behind her visitors and took a deep breath. It was time to act her age and not be some shy teenage version of herself.
‘I was hoping we could start with cupcakes?’
Gabrielle bit her lip, as if she was worried she was making an outrageous demand.
‘With the fuss you were making about coming over here I thought we were dealing with an emergency,’ Henri said dryly.
Lola got the impression there’d been quite a discussion between uncle and niece before they’d rocked up at her apartment. No doubt Henri had tried to talk Gabrielle out of going ahead with this, in order to avoid the woman he’d kissed without permission, and it would have taken a great deal on the young girl’s part to stand up for what she wanted.
Lola didn’t want either of them to regret the decision they’d made in the end.
‘It’s no problem, Henri. I offered to show her. Besides, the need for cake is most definitely an emergency.’
It was cool. They’d managed to be in the same room for five minutes already without anyone getting kissed or being overemotional. She would take Gabrielle into the kitchen and disappear behind a cloud of flour and icing sugar.
‘If you’re sure...?’
‘I am. Now, you make yourself at home and Gabrielle and I will go bake up a storm.’
She met his eyes, assuring him tha
t events hadn’t changed her desire to befriend his niece. Other more delicate matters could be worked out at a later date. When she understood herself how to resolve them.
Once Gabrielle was kitted out in an apron, to protect her designer hoodie from the ravages of margarine and eggs, Lola set her to work fetching basic ingredients.
‘So, it’s cupcakes you want?’
At least this was one area she was confident in. Those years of trying to feed four hungry men on a tiny budget hadn’t been wasted—she could turn her hand to most things in the kitchen.
‘Can we try chocolate ones? Uncle Henri always buys them for us as a special treat, but I’d love to learn how to make them myself. Any that Mum makes are usually either burnt or chewy.’ Gabrielle screwed up her nose in disgust as she bore witness to her mother’s crimes against baked goods.
So Henri had a sweet tooth? She’d had him down as more of a savoury type of guy. With any luck she could feed him cake until he was too full to move or even speak for the rest of the night.
‘Chocolate cupcakes it is, then. I’ll get the paper cases and you can make a start on weighing everything out.’
It was probably the easiest recipe for Gabrielle to follow herself, and any boost to her confidence, no matter how small, was a bonus.
‘How are things at school?’
Lola had shown her how to mix the batter and waited until she was distracted before unleashing the question. Gabrielle had made the point that she simply wanted to hang out tonight, but it wouldn’t hurt to find out how the ground lay.
‘Okay...’
She was concentrating so hard on creaming the fat and sugar together she didn’t seem spooked at the question.
Lola pushed her a tad further. ‘Okay, good, or okay, the same?’
Gabrielle shrugged. ‘The same. Do I add the eggs and flour now?’
‘Yes. Fold them in gently with the cocoa powder, and when you have a nice smooth batter you can spoon it into the cases.’
Lola knew the change of subject was the equivalent of Gabrielle hiding behind her hair, so she tried a different tactic.
‘I had an interesting time at work the other day. I had to treat one of the guys who made my life hell in school.’
Cake mixture dripped from the spoon as Gabrielle stood transfixed by the story. ‘What happened?’
Lola put herself under pressure not to reveal the terror she’d still felt after all these years. This had to be a story about overcoming those fears and giving Gabrielle hope.
‘Well, even though he tried to make me feel small, I dug deep and found the courage to stand up to him. That’s the thing, Gabrielle—these people will always be immature and short-sighted, while we grow and develop.’
She omitted the part about Henri interrupting her breakthrough moment, since it spoiled the whole moral of her story. She didn’t have to take abuse from anybody at any age.
‘Wow. How did it feel?’
Gabrielle’s eyes had nearly popped out of her head, she was so enthralled with the idea of giving those bullies a taste of their own medicine. Lola had to admit her reaction gave her a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It confirmed her view that she was becoming the confident professional she was supposed to be and not the simpering helpless damsel Henri seemed to think she was.
‘Bloody brilliant. I thoroughly recommend it.’
She revelled in the picture of Smith stumbling when she’d mentioned the police and dismissed everything involving Henri after that point. The important part of the tale was told.
‘And how did he react?’
‘Honestly, I think he was scared. He backed off straight away. People like that are so used to putting others down to make themselves feel good they don’t know how to react when they fight back.’
If Henri had only given her a few minutes more to shut Smith down completely she mightn’t feel a little short-changed now. He’d denied her closure at the last minute.
Gabrielle was all picture no sound as she placed the tray of cakes in the oven. Lola prayed she was imagining shooting down her own tormentors in similar fashion. It would do her good to let rip and tell them—tell anyone—how she felt.
‘Okay, cupcakes are in the oven, cooling rack is ready—all we need now is the frosting.’
Lola yanked open the cupboard doors, searching for the crucial ingredients.
‘Shoot! We’re all out of icing sugar. I must’ve used the last of it on Bastien’s cake.’
She’d gone through a truckload of supplies since starting at the hospital, self-medicating after run-ins with infuriating registrars and difficult patients.
‘I can go get some.’
Gabrielle yanked off her apron and ran out through the kitchen door before Lola could stop her.
‘Uncle Henri, I’m just popping across the road to get some icing sugar. I won’t be long.’
Lola wasn’t sure which of the two adults was more horrified by that suggestion—although probably for different reasons.
‘I’ll go. I don’t want you crossing that busy road on your own.’
Henri sprang up from the sofa with the same eagerness as Gabrielle. People were so desperate to get away from Lola she was in danger of developing a complex.
Gabrielle rolled her eyes. ‘I know how to cross a road. I’m not five.’
‘All she has to do is cross at the lights.’
As much as Lola didn’t want to be left with Henri and be forced to have the talk she’d steered well away from for days, it was important Gabrielle was afforded some independence.
‘Make sure you do,’ he told his niece as he bowed to the pressure and handed her some money from his wallet.
‘I’ll be back in a minute.’
Gabrielle almost skipped out of the apartment, drunk on her new freedom. It was amazing how much a small concession had changed her mood. Step by step they were gradually building her up. The ultimate goal was to give her enough confidence and self-belief that her detractors’ cruel words would no longer hold any power over her.
‘Be careful!’ Henri and Lola shouted at the same time to the slamming door.
They exchanged the awkward smiles of two people unwittingly set up on a date. Except for the fact that it was her own fault they were out of supplies, Lola might have questioned Gabrielle’s motives for volunteering.
‘She’s growing up fast.’ Henri sighed staring longingly at the back of the door.
‘Yes—and you have to let her. Trust me. I’ve been there with my brothers. I can only advise you from my point of view, as someone who’s been there and is still wearing the “Wrapped in Cotton Wool” T-shirt, but you can’t stop her from living her life and she’ll only resent it if you do.’
Henri scrubbed his hands through his hair, mussing the once sleek locks as if he was battling the idea of letting go. ‘Something’s been bothering me since, you know... Well, a lot’s bothering me...’
‘Spit it out, Henri. It’s not like you to be lost for words.’
They might as well get this sorted now, so she could stop swerving out of his path at work and get on with her job. He’d kissed her—he regretted it. There was little to get het up about as far as she could see. She kept telling herself that every time she replayed the moment in slow motion.
‘What happened to you...it’s not what Gabrielle’s going through, is it? I mean, I’ve tried to convince myself that if things were that bad you’d tell me. I’d kill anyone who laid a finger on her.’
He was so agitated Lola knew she would have to put him out of his misery before he decided to lock Gabrielle in a tower somewhere for the rest of her life.
‘No. Nothing like that. She has a low self-esteem issue—but, hey, who hasn’t? Present company excluded...’ Lola attempted to bring some levity back into the situation befor
e he tried to shake the information out of her.
He closed his eyes and let a hissing breath out through clenched teeth. ‘Thank goodness. I couldn’t imagine having to go through that. Je suis désolé. That sounds so insensitive. How are you...after everything?’
Lola tried not to feel like an afterthought. It was perfectly normal that his main concern should be for his niece.
‘Honestly? I was ticked off at you for taking over the care of my patient. It doesn’t reflect well on me as a doctor if I’m not trusted to even suture a minor cut on my own.’
‘That’s not what it was about and you know it, Lola. The guy had his hands all over you—not to mention whatever went on between you in the past. I acted the way I would for any of my friends and family and I made sure that you were out of danger, first and foremost.’
Deep down, she knew that, but ingrained paranoia wouldn’t let her believe that a man would get involved in her problems for purely altruistic motives. Except for her brothers, who wanted to keep her under lock and key, and she certainly didn’t want another prison guard keeping tabs on her every move.
‘I appreciate your concern, but for the record it’s not necessary. I’m not going to get anywhere if I don’t learn to stand on my own two feet.’
‘Message received and understood. Now can we talk about the other elephant in the room?’
Now would be a good time for Gabrielle to return, so Lola could slink back to her safe place.
‘I really don’t think that’s necessary.’
‘No? Then why have you been avoiding me? All I wanted to do was apologise to you. It should never have happened. I just...I don’t know... You were upset...I wanted to comfort you. That’s how it started, at least. But I had no right to kiss you. I don’t blame you for hating me for betraying your trust like that.’
He loosened his tie and opened the top button of his shirt as he confronted his actions. And hers.
‘I don’t hate you. For that you would’ve had to have done something wrong.’
