by Ann Bryant
“I’m not being silly. Now I know you picked me because I’m a princess, I can’t do it. You even lied to me about what I’d have on my head. A tiara is going to make me look stupid.” There was an expression I wanted to use. I’d heard my sister use it once. I searched for the words and they popped into my head. “You’re just playing on my royal status.”
There was another silence, then Elise’s face softened. “Oh, don’t take any notice of me. I didn’t mean it…”
The top layer of my anger was fading now and embarrassment was starting to creep up my back and my neck. I was still determined to stick to my guns though. “Sorry, Elise. You’ll have to find someone else. I feel completely out of place here, and I felt even worse on the catwalk.”
Then suddenly everyone was speaking.
“Naomi, you looked great!”
“Miss Pritchard even singled you out for praise!”
“You fitted in perfectly!”
Then Elise’s voice, with a hard edge, cut in. “Anyway, it’s too late. You’re committed now.”
A horrible guilt was making my throat hurt and I thought I might be about to cry. That would be awful. I knew I mustn’t be swayed. I had to stick to my decision. It felt right. It was right. “Sorry, Elise,” I repeated. “It’s…I mean, I’m sure it’s not too late for you to find someone else.”
Elise raised her voice. Her eyes glinted furiously. “What? Someone exactly the same size and shape as you? Yeah, right!”
I quickly pulled open the door and rushed out before I could change my mind. Then I ran along the corridor, feeling the tears gathering behind my eyes, and when I got outside the cold air hit me, but I didn’t care. It was better than the sickly hot air in the hall. Still I ran and ran, with tears dripping down my face. I passed a few people, but they were hunched against the cold and huddled together, not paying attention to me. I gave them a wide berth and kept my head down until I was on the athletics field, where I finally slowed my pace and wiped my face on my sleeve. It was too cold to walk though, so I started running again and didn’t stop till I reached the secret garden.
Going through the gap in the hedge, I waited for the usual feeling of peace to come over me. But it didn’t. I sat down on the bench and bunched my knees up, hugging them tight. I stayed curled up like this, with miserable thoughts raging inside my head, until I felt like a block of ice.
What had I done? How could I have been so dramatic? I usually think about things carefully before I act, but I’d just walked away from the whole show without any consideration for poor Elise. Poor Elise. No. That wasn’t true. She’d lied to me. And anyway, there were masses of girls who were more or less the same size and shape as me, who’d fall over themselves to be her model. It was true that she might have to do a few small alterations to her outfits, but nothing much. And an older girl would look ten times better than me in those designs. I hadn’t even tried on the third outfit yet, so there wouldn’t be any alterations to that one.
All the same it was true that I’d acted like a prima donna, and I couldn’t help feeling embarrassed about suddenly announcing that I couldn’t go on and dramatically running away. The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt. I started to imagine myself telling Katy and the others what I’d done. It wouldn’t be easy to explain, and I wasn’t at all sure how they’d react.
Inside my skirt pocket my phone vibrated. I pulled it out and looked at the number. The screen said Home. Mum occasionally phoned at this time, just before supper. So now I was going to have to explain to Mum what had happened as well, and I simply wasn’t prepared. But I couldn’t not answer her, so I pressed the green button.
“Hi, Mum.” And I suddenly realized that the fashion show didn’t have to be mentioned at all if I could keep the conversation on other things. My brain started scouring around for what I could talk about, but Mum didn’t give me time to say anything.
“Just a quick call, Naomi. I wanted to let you know that Miss Carol phoned to ask our permission for you to be interviewed by someone from the local television station on the night of the fashion show, and of course we were delighted because it’s all good publicity. So you might like to start thinking about what you’re going to say. You know how your father always says it’s much better to be prepared.”
My heart had been sinking more and more as Mum had been talking. I was going to have to admit what I’d done. I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened, because eventually my parents would find out and it would make things worse if they discovered I’d been keeping it secret. But I’d play it right down. Yes, that’s what I’d do.
“The thing is, Mum, we had the first rehearsal just now and it was obvious I didn’t really fit in, so…Elise is going to try and get someone older instead…”
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
I plunged on. “I’m not upset or anything…and it doesn’t mean…I can’t do the interview.” I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I was trying not to annoy Mum too much.
“What do you mean, you didn’t fit in?”
“Well…I felt too young.”
“Ah! You felt too young. It wasn’t that Elise or any members of staff thought you were too young?”
Now the silence was at my end of the phone. I couldn’t lie. There was no way out of this one.
“No,” I whispered.
“Oh, Naomi, tell me what happened.”
Mum’s voice was filled with disappointment, but I couldn’t tell whether it was the kind of disappointment that’s close to sympathy, or the kind that could easily tip over into annoyance. I didn’t want her to be cross with me, but it’s always been so hard to make her understand how I feel about being a princess and wanting that part of my life to be separate from school, and not to get in the way of how people look at me.
“Well…Elise was really boasting about how she’d deliberately chosen a princess for a model because that was sure to make her the winner of the competition, and I’ve got to wear a tiara, and I couldn’t bear it. And…” I broke into another gabble. “…I can’t tell you what it’s like walking down a catwalk. Miss Pritchard said you have to show off, and you know I hate people looking at me. I just wish I’d never agreed in the first place, but the others thought I ought to, and all I could think was how it would be helping Just Water, so that’s why I said yes.”
I heard Mum sighing heavily. “I’m sorry, Naomi, but as you say, you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place. I know Elise has acted badly, but two wrongs don’t make a right. I can’t imagine Elise was too pleased with you dropping out at the last minute?”
“Er…well, there are loads of other people who are my size who’d love to be her model…”
“All the same, if she’s fitted clothes to your exact measurements, she’s sure to have to make alterations. But more to the point, you’ve let her down, Naomi.”
I wanted to say, “Yes, but she let me down.” Only there was no point. I’d never get Mum to see that being chosen because of being a princess is unbearable for me. So I stayed quiet.
“Well I can’t make you do the show, but I have to say it’s unlikely you’ll be interviewed as an ordinary student who has nothing to do with the fashion show. And that would be a good publicity opportunity for Just Water missed.”
“I’ll try and explain to Miss Owen and Miss Carol about why I pulled out, and…” I trailed off because I couldn’t be sure that the teachers would understand my decision. But I hoped against hope that Miss Carol would. She’s such a fair and understanding person and I really like her.
“Have a good think about it, and try to see things from all points of view, Naomi.”
“Okay. I’d better go now, Mum. It’s supper time. But I’ll…phone you when I’ve talked to Miss Carol.”
After I’d rung off, I realized I was so cold my teeth were starting to chatter, and I did a big involuntary shudder, partly because of the cold and partly because I was upset. I had tears in my eyes as I g
ot up to go back to school.
By the time I reached the dining hall, I was looking forward to getting some warm food inside me, but I definitely wasn’t looking forward to telling the others what had happened. And I was positively dreading seeing Elise or any of her friends. In fact, it might have spread all round the Year Tens and Elevens that Naomi Okanta was a selfish little prima donna, and they might all hate me. I shivered and went to join the queue.
When I finally found the courage to look round, I saw Katy, Georgie and Mia waving excitedly at me. Georgie was mouthing something, because she’d never be heard above the noise of chatter and cutlery on plates even if she shouted. I shrugged and smiled to show I didn’t know what she was saying, though it was obvious really. They all wanted to know how I’d got on at the rehearsal. I swallowed and tried to prepare some words.
Sitting down next to Katy, I started to feel ridiculously nervous. But I kept telling myself she’s my best friend and is sure to support my decision. I wasn’t so confident about Georgie, but Mia would probably make her understand how I felt.
“So, tell us all about it,” said Katy immediately.
I swallowed and blinked. “Well, it was awful, actually…”
All three of them gasped.
“Why? What happened?” asked Georgie, stopping eating and staring at me, wide-eyed with curiosity.
I took a deep breath. “I hated it. I felt so nervous. My legs turned to jelly—”
“But did you walk the way you showed us at Hazeldean?” Georgie interrupted.
“I did my best…”
“And did you manage to fit your steps to the music okay?” asked Mia.
“Yes…”
“Well you must have been brilliant!” said Katy. “I bet you’re just being modest.”
“I felt so young…”
Katy put her arm round me. “I hope no one criticized you or anything just because you’re the youngest.”
“What did Elise say?” asked Georgie.
“What did the teachers say?” asked Mia. “Weren’t they impressed with you?”
This conversation wasn’t going at all as I’d hoped. By now I should have made my big confession and the others should all be offering me bags and bags of sympathy.
“Well, Miss Pritchard—”
“Miss Pritchard!” interrupted Georgie. “Oh, you mean you’ve got my total heroine in charge of the fashion show?”
“She’s in charge of the choreography. Miss Owen’s in charge of the whole thing.”
“Don’t keep interrupting, Georgie,” said Katy. “What did Miss Pritchard say, Naomi?” Her eyes were full of concern again.
“Er…she said I was doing it really naturally…” I knew I’d have to mention that, because if my friends heard it from someone else they’d be cross that I hadn’t said anything about it. But at least I could convince them that this was the most embarrassing bit of all. “…And she said the reason I looked natural was because I was used to being in front of cameras. Everyone must have thought I was a big show-off. I mean, I actually heard someone say that Miss Pritchard was sucking up to me because I’m a princess…”
Katy’s eyes gleamed darkly. “Just ignore the horrible person who said that about you being a princess. At least it was only one person. There wasn’t anyone else, was there?”
“Well, no…but I hated it!” I quickly reminded them all.
“I know what you mean, Naomi,” said Mia. “I’d have hated it.”
I felt grateful to Mia, but her little comment did nothing to stop my heart hammering as I started to build up to my big confession. “And Elise was really showing off about me and – you’ll never guess – she actually admitted she’d only chosen me because I’m a princess and she thought that would make her win!” My voice sounded strange and high, even to me.
“That must have been horrible to hear,” said Mia quietly.
The others all nodded gravely, but I’d really been hoping they might go mad and say it was an unforgivable thing that Elise had done, and maybe one of them might even say I ought to quit.
But nobody spoke, so I carried on in my squeaky voice. “And guess what else, Kates, she even lied about the silver slides in my hair. I heard her telling her friends I was going to be wearing a tiara!”
There was another small silence and I looked at their wondering faces, feeling my confidence dissolving.
“Well she definitely shouldn’t have been so deceitful about the tiara,” said Katy, wearing a big frown.
“That was bang out of order!” Georgie agreed.
Yes, keep going…
“But then she probably guessed you’d hate the idea of wearing it,” Katy went on.
“At the end of the day it’s only a fashion accessory though, isn’t it?” said Georgie. “It doesn’t mean anything, Naomi, honestly.”
My confidence took a plunge then, because although everyone agreed Elise had behaved badly, nobody thought it was that bad. And what Katy said next made me really panic at the thought of having to make my admission.
“The other stuff Elise said is ridiculous, though! I mean, she’d never win just because one of her models is a princess! The judges are grown-ups, aren’t they? They’ll only be interested in the designs. They won’t even know you’re a princess. Who are the judges anyway?”
“I…I don’t know actually.” I felt the last grains of confidence slipping through my fingers. Katy had said something amazingly obvious and incredibly true. And what I had to say next was going to sound so pathetic. It had to be said though.
“Anyway, you know how I can’t bear people liking me for what I am and not for what I’m like…”
Georgie sat up straight as she took a slow breath and her eyes filled with suspicion. “What…have…you…done…Naomi?”
“I…I…told Elise I wasn’t going to be in the show.” I looked down and braced myself.
“Not going to be in it!” squeaked Georgie. “What? The whole show? You’ve said you’re not going to be a model, you mean?”
I nodded helplessly.
“You’re mad!” Georgie pursed her lips in disapproval and slumped her shoulders dramatically.
Katy shook her head slowly, as if she was imagining the scene. “Whoa! Elise must have gone ballistic!” Then her eyes flickered and she spoke hesitantly. “Don’t you think…you’re kind of…committed, after all this time?”
Mia looked down and I guessed she agreed with that.
“Elise isn’t exactly…happy,” I stammered. “But…I’m sorry, I have to stick to my principles.” I sighed and repeated, “Sorry,” with a crack in my voice.
“Poor old Naomi,” said Mia. “You have to follow your feelings, though.”
That little comment of Mia’s gave me the tiniest ray of hope that my friends would understand why I’d done what I’d done.
Katy frowned. “Yes, you’re right, Mia,” she said, nodding. A little sigh of disappointment escaped her and I knew she’d be thinking about how she was going to miss the textiles room.
I put on my most positive tone as a small shred of confidence came back to me. “You could still go along to the textiles room.”
“I might feel a bit spare,” said Katy. She had been staring thoughtfully at the table, but she suddenly sat up straight and smiled brightly. “Don’t worry about me, though. The important thing is that you’ve done the right thing, Naomi. You’ve stuck to your principles.”
Mia nodded.
I looked at Georgie. Somehow I needed all my friends to approve of what I’d done, because that might help to take away some of the guilt and embarrassment I was still feeling.
Georgie wrinkled her nose. “I don’t expect Elise’ll have any trouble finding someone else, so…don’t worry about it, Naomi.”
I was so relieved I wanted to cry. There were only Grace and Jess left to tell now, and they weren’t half so absorbed in the fashion show as the other three.
Katy took her arm away but gave me a lovely smile. “You
r food’s getting cold. It’s delish by the way!”
I realized I was starving, and was about to tuck in when I happened to glance up and see Elise marching across the dining hall in my direction. My fork dropped to my plate with a clatter and the hand holding my knife trembled. What had happened today wasn’t going to go away in a hurry.
If ever.
Chapter Seven
My stomach felt knotted, especially as Katy and the other two had definitely spotted Elise, and it was clear that she was on her way over to me. The weird thing was that as she got nearer her face began to change, and by the time she’d reached our table she was wreathed in smiles.
“Naomi, hi,” she began, squashing herself on the bench between me and Katy. “Listen, sorry about earlier. I’ve been thinking about how you must feel and I just wanted to kind of reassure you that there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, I realize you hate all the princess talk and I promise you, from now on, the ‘P’ word is banned! Taboo!” She grinned as she made a gesture slashing the air with the side of her hand.
Now my stomach felt even more knotted, because it was obvious Elise was here to persuade me to change my mind about the show, and I didn’t know what to do. I so badly wanted to do the right thing, but I needed time to think it through properly and I longed to talk to my dad too.
Elise suddenly swivelled round so she was addressing her next words to Katy and the others as well. “Anyway, the main reason I wanted to talk to you is because I never told you about my dad, did I?”
I shook my head, wondering what on earth she could be about to say. And it seemed such a coincidence when I’d only just been thinking about my own dad.
“Well, I deliberately didn’t mention this before because I didn’t want you to get excited and act any different from usual…” Her eyes were all sparkly, and it wasn’t just the glittery eye make-up she was wearing.
I waited silently, but Georgie was too curious to keep quiet.
“So, yeah…what about your dad? Why would Naomi be excited? Is he a talent spotter or something?”
“Well, you’ve practically hit the nail on the head!” said Elise, looking mysterious. “My dad is very big in Topshop. He goes round to lots of fashion shows – I mean seriously important ones, all over the country, and abroad too. And every so often he spots someone who he just knows is going to hit the big time and be a supermodel…” Elise paused, as though to let her words sink in. Georgie sat up straight, looking totally impressed, and I felt myself shrinking in my seat. “Anyway, the thing is,” went on Elise, fixing me with a serious but excited look, “I told him about you…” She seemed to freeze for a moment. Maybe she saw the panic all over my face. “I mean, I didn’t tell him you were a princess… No way!” She started to gesture with her hands, and her voice grew louder. “I told him how you’re a natural on the catwalk and everything, and he wants to take a look at you at the fashion show, because, get this…” I felt a heaviness settling in my stomach where all the knots had been just a few moments before. “…He thinks you could be the second Naomi Campbell!”
