“Are you done already?”
“I think I’d rather be somewhere we can relax and be alone. How about we head home and have a cup of coffee?”
“That sounds perfect. What about your quilt?”
“I can pick it up until 9pm tonight or even tomorrow.”
Nodding, he kissed her knuckles. They rode back to her house in silence. She knew his mind was tearing through the events that had happened and what was about to occur. He sat at the table staring at his hands with his head hung low. Sheba had her long face planted on his thigh as if she was trying to comfort him.
Melanie poured a cup of coffee and walked over, putting her hand on the back of his head for support. His warm thick hair tickled her fingers as she comforted him. Jason turned to her and pulled her into his arms, placing his head against her. She felt his wide shoulders shake as he broke down silently.
“Let it all out,” she crooned softly. “We are here for you.” She stood there with tears in her own eyes for this strong caring man that had lost so much.
“He saved my life more than once,” he admitted softly, his head resting on her torso as he held her tightly from where he sat. “And I keep seeing his face. You know I introduced him to his wife? How am I ever going to look her in the face without breaking?”
“You are going to be strong this afternoon, stronger than ever before.” Melanie turned his face upwards to her, cupping his face in her hands so she could look him directly in the eyes. Those golden-brown eyes glistened with tears. The fact that he cried at the loss didn’t make her think of him as a weaker man, it made her love him all the more because he loved his friend that deeply. She wanted to be loved like that. Wholly.
“Today, I want you to show the world how proud you are of the man Rick Martin was. How proud you are to be a part of his team and you need to honor him, not mourn him. His wife is going to need your strength, your good memories of him. She needs to hear how he loved her, how he laughed and cut up with you. Don’t tell anyone else that he was scared. It would only hurt her and undermine her memories of him. He was vulnerable. We all have our moments and he loved you enough to share his innermost fears. You should tuck that away in your heart and treasure it.”
“I love you,” he breathed, staring at her. “You are the most beautiful and smartest woman I have ever met, Melanie. Thank you for being here for me.”
“And I love you more than I ever thought possible, Wildman. It’s my honor to be here. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Melanie stood there, simply holding him for what seemed like forever. Jason closed his eyes and took several ragged breaths. She stroked his hair back from his face and watched him focus on regaining control of his raw emotions. When he opened his eyes, she saw that he’d found a way to cope. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat beside him, holding his hand. She said a soft prayer for them both. Jason kissed her hand again, swallowing back emotion.
At the church during the service, she sat beside him clenching his hand in hers the entire time. There was no way she’d ever let go or let him feel alone for even a moment. She watched his profile as he swallowed several times, staring straight ahead.
Fiercely loyal, fiercely loving.
Jason glanced over at her once and gave a slight nod to let her know he was okay. Officer Martin’s wife sat in front of them a few pews up, seemingly frozen. Melanie was so relieved that the casket was not open. Pictures of Rick Martin were placed on an easel near the front. Photos of him laughing and smiling. Jason’s photo was up there in the very middle with Rick. They’d been very close, near brothers it seemed.
She was so proud of how Jason held himself, knowing how much he hurt. He helped carry the casket to the car as a pallbearer. At the graveside service, he held back and somehow made it through as he said a few words about his friend. She knew he was close to breaking as he stared at the sky and then at her, drawing strength from her. Melanie nodded and smiled proudly at him. This was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, and Jason had lived through losing a loved one twice.
It was near dusk once the formal ceremony was finished. Jason took her back to pick up her quilt from the show. There was a white ribbon tacked on the corner showing that she’d placed fourth overall. No shame whatsoever, she was simply amazed to have placed at all. It was bittersweet considering the emotional upheaval of the day.
“Congratulations sweetheart,” he’d told her, but his heart wasn’t in it. He was emotionally exhausted.
“Thanks,” she replied just as lackluster as him. She was also drained. He pulled up to her house but didn’t turn off the truck.
“Did you want to come in?”
“I’m okay. I don’t want to be a burden and I think I need a little space to mourn.”
“I’m here if you need to talk.”
“I know, I think that is why I’m able to get through this all over again. I hate funerals, you know.”
Nodding, she got out of the truck with her quilt wrapped in tissue paper and plastic. She wouldn’t bother with removing it because its home would not be with her, but at the church. Perhaps she would donate it on behalf of Jason in honor of Rick Martin’s untimely death? The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. She went inside and instantly felt how empty her home was without Jason there. She missed his presence. His light, his fortitude and his compassion. Setting the quilt down, she immediately went to her project room to begin as an idea solidified in her mind of what her quilt should look like.
Eleven
Melanie was beyond exhausted.
School had started back in session and she was throwing herself into her work to keep from thinking about how she hadn’t talked to Jason in the last few weeks. He’d withdrawn and when she’d reached out, he said he needed some space to get his heart in the right place. That had struck her hard. She knew where her heart was, but rather than have a small freak out? She put herself to work pouring her soul into the watercolor quilt she’d begun. Long laborious hours every night after school let out. She sewed, pinned, admired and adjusted the panels and colors repeatedly. It had to be just right.
Just as she saw him.
How she wanted the world to see him.
She’d finally finished the top of the quilt and would be starting the stitching. It was so beautiful that she didn’t want to cover the colors with flowery details or waves. She opted for in-the-ditch stitches with her machine. She would follow each piece of fabric, each sewn line in order to allow the material and elements to shine through. It wasn’t a big quilt, but rather like a large painting, but with fabric. She was so relieved that it was Friday because she planned on finishing the quilt this weekend if it killed her! She needed to sleep but felt compelled, driven, to complete it. This piece was everything to her and would have a special place in her heart. Even if she felt it was breaking a little at a time each day that passed without word from him. She understood more than anyone needing time to find yourself, to heal, but she wanted to help him through it all. Her mother used to tell her, ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink unless you intend to make him fall.’
Melanie wanted Jason to fall, to remember she was there for him. There was nothing worse than doubting yourself. He’d told her that he loved her, but she feared that he didn’t mean it and that was why he was staying away. The heart was a cruel master sometimes, falling so quickly and then giving in to dread and despair. She worried that he felt like he’d made a mistake or met another woman. Then again, she hadn’t really made herself available either, spending all her time at the school or shut away in her craft room. This weekend would be no different than the last few weeks other than it was the first time her quilt would be displayed at St. Mary’s.
She had donated it in memory of Officer Martin on behalf of his wife and his friend. She’d known the woman’s name was Sally from what Jason had told her. They’d put a marker up with their names:
In memoriam of Officer Rick Marti
n
Beloved by his wife, Sally and his best friend Officer Jason Wild.
Quilted with care by Melanie Strow
Her plan had always been to give the quilt to the church. She’d even given the quilt a name for the quilt show she’d placed it in, calling it Ascension. Now, that quilt had meaning and would always serve as a memory for all of them and for people years from now admiring it. Her ribbon she’d placed in her jewelry box along with a photo of the quilt. It was special to her but would be priceless to others. Sighing heavily, she picked up the stack of papers to grade in order to head home and finish her most prized possession of them all.
Sunday morning came early for her. She’d hit snooze several times since she didn’t finish stitching the quilt until almost 3 am. If she hadn’t gotten the thank you note in the mail, she might have skipped service because she was so exhausted. Throwing back the covers, she hurried to get ready. The quilt was finished and now it was time to rest. As she walked into the living room, she saw where it hung beautifully. The small light that shone down on it was perfect. It was breathtaking to see his profile, to imagine the set of his jaw and smile on his face.
Admit it, you love the man, she thought with a heavy sigh. She missed him terribly and knew that when he was ready, she’d run back into his arms like the last several weeks hadn’t happened. She hoped that when his world settled down into a normal routine that he would realize she was here.
Stepping into the church, she felt the cold blast of air hit her as she entered the doors of the sanctuary. It was always cold inside and she carried a sweater, even in the summer time. As she stepped in, she saw several people crowded around where her quilt hung on the wall a bevy of iridescent colors as the large windows shone directly on the quilt, causing the beading to glitter wildly. Getting closer, she saw him.
Jason.
His beautiful face was there among the crowd. His warm eyes met hers over the tops of several heads admiring the quilt. He immediately walked past them and stopped.
“You didn’t have to.”
“I intended to anyway, remember? This seemed appropriate.”
“It’s perfect. Thank you”
“Your welcome.” They stood there for a few moments, her eyes just drinking in his features. She’d missed him terribly. The attraction was instant. She was drawn to him like two magnets had suddenly been put together.
“That is Rick’s wife, over there,” Jason announced suddenly, as if he wanted to explain the distance between them over the last few weeks. “I have been helping them move into a new place. It turns out that his money Rick had saved is tied up in a trust, so until she gets things settled it will be tough on her and the baby financially. She needed to move. I felt like I was helping him, just like he had helped me when Kate died.”
Melanie nodded acceptingly. He wasn’t hiding things from her or avoiding her, but simply finding closure for himself and helping others. Isn’t that part of the reason she loved him?
“Sit with me?” he blurted out happily at seeing her. “I’ve missed you.”
“Of course.”
Just then, the pretty widow made eye contact with Melanie. Sally walked over immediately and hugged her like she was family. She noticed that the woman had lost weight in the last few weeks. Her already thin frame looked almost gaunt.
“Thank you so much for remembering him, doing this for my Rick.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she replied awkwardly. Jason gave her a thumbs up behind the woman’s back. Sally suddenly released her and was fighting back tears as she smiled warmly.
“It’s beautiful and I feel like it’s something anyone can look at and feel hopeful, you know?”
“I agree.”
“When I got the thank you card from the church, I was shocked by the donation in his name from you and Jason. I couldn’t believe it. You two are such blessings to have in our lives,” Sally swallowed hard, fanned herself and began blinking rapidly. “Wonderful blessings.” she repeated and moved away to take her seat.
Jason put his arm around Melanie’s waist and guided her to a pew. It felt so right to be seated with him. To have him with her again. She’d missed him terribly. As the service began, she found herself relaxing with her head upon his shoulder. Melanie nodded off and jerked herself awake as he patted her leg.
“Melanie? Are you alright sweetheart?” he whispered in her ear.
“I’m exhausted,” she admitted, embarrassed.
“What’s going on?”
“Well, other than being eaten up with worry? I’ve been working a lot.”
“Worry?”
“Never mind,” she blushed. She’d been terribly worried about the silence between them. Hearing his explanation made her feel better, gave her understanding, but part of her still wondered how he could distance himself so easily.
“Sweetheart, don’t hold back from me. Talk to me.”
“Like you talked to me the last few weeks?” she asked, hating how it sounded being said aloud. She didn’t want to sound like a harridan or a shrew, but she’d hated feeling lonely, and filled her time sewing.
“Did you miss me then?”
“Of course, I did!”
“Good, because I felt like I was holding my breath until I could see you again. I’ve missed those beautiful eyes and that smile.” Jason kissed the tip of her nose as she looked up at him from where her head rested on his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Let’s go home so we can talk in private and you can get some rest.” Jason walked her to her car and then headed to his truck. She hadn’t seen it before when she pulled into the parking lot. He followed her home and walked her into the house. She sat down on the couch and he slipped off her shoes. Melanie shut her eyes exhausted, but just moments before she saw him freeze in shock and awe.
“Melanie?”
Smiling tiredly, she sighed happily at his reaction. It had been her own reaction the first time she’d stood back and looked at the artwork. She’d worked meticulously piecing small samples together perfectly in order to create shadow and light. The quilt was a watercolor piecing of how she saw him, his essence. His smiling profile stood strongly with Sheba at his side and then it faded into shadows. A tall shadow with children surrounding him and another set of shadows that resembled tears on a face. It was incredible how the pieces blurred but when you looked from a distance, it was his face.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Is that me? Is that how you see me?”
“I think that is how the world sees you,” she breathed softly at the surprise in his eyes and overwhelming love. “You have a beautiful soul, Wildman.”
Jason knelt down next to her, smoothing his thumb on her cheek. His expressive eyes shone in disbelief as he shook his head. She smiled in delight at his response.
“How did I get so lucky in meeting you?” he marveled. “You have thrown me for a loop from the very beginning and I can’t imagine my life without you. The last few weeks have been awful for me, but I felt I owed it to Rick’s memory. I was a mess when Kate died and nearly destroyed myself. I didn’t see it then, but I do now because I have been blessed in my life to find love again. I know you are tired, sweetheart but I have to say it. I love you more than life itself and I want you to marry me.”
“I’d love to marry you,” she whispered as he leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. He suddenly got a wide grin that made him look like he was up to no good. “What’s that look for?”
“I want to marry you now. Not in a few months or a few weeks. I want you to be my wife immediately. I bought tickets for us to fly out to Vegas. Do something wild and crazy with me. Something that a fuddy-duddy man would never do. Let’s be impetuous together.”
“What?” Melanie exclaimed as Jason picked her up off the couch happily. His smile and laughter were exuberant.
“I know it’s crazy, but we can be there and back tonight. We don’t have to pack any bags or need anything fancy. I
just want you.” he got down on one knee and held her hands in his. Melanie stared at him in disbelief. This was insane! – and she loved it!
“Are you trying to live up to your name?”
“Sweetheart, I am crazy in love with you and while I’d love to list out the reasons why we are perfect together? We need to get going so we can get through security,” he said with an infectious grin. “Do you trust me, sweetheart?”
“Implicitly.”
“Let’s go then, Mrs. Wild. We have a flight to catch.”
Epilogue
“Your grandpa has always been such a rascal of a man,” Melanie whispered to her granddaughter as they rolled out the cookies on the counter. Her sweet chubby hands held the rolling pin as her own aging hands held hers, guiding her. Her granddaughter had just turned four a few weeks ago. She and Jason were babysitting for the afternoon, so their son could celebrate his second anniversary with his own wife.
“Did I tell you how he whisked me away to get married? It was all so sudden,” she said aloud as she thought back fondly of that day. They’d left the house immediately. Sheba had been left with another officer for the day. She had worn her church clothing as they ran hand in hand through the airport. Laughing, they yanked off their shoes at security. Jason emptied his pockets eagerly with a smile.
“No diaper bags, right? Or at least not yet anyways,” he teased her tenderly. He turned to her at the counter as they put their shoes in a plastic bin on the rolling belt. He pulled out a ring box he’d mysteriously had hidden away in his pocket. Melanie stared at him in surprise as he opened it. Inside was a filigree ring that looked to be quite old.
“It was my grandmothers. I will buy you your own if you want, but I needed something quickly when I knew I was going to ask you to marry me. The thought of seeing you this morning made me realize that I had to be able to see you every morning for my life to be complete.” The crowd around them began to clap loudly as soon as they realized that Jason was proposing to her. It was perfect. They’d met at security and this seemed so fitting, so right.
Lawfully Wild Page 7
