by Jillian Hart
Just like that. He had thought she would have been comforted by his land purchase. A guy looking for fun, one who easily bolted, didn’t make a cash land purchase large enough to terrify a lesser man. He’d laid his heart on the table. He’d risked showing her the man he was and it hadn’t swayed her. She had looked at him and had seen someone who could abandon her.
Agony wrenched through him. He opened the washer and hauled the load of jeans into the dryer. When he’d been injured, he had gritted his teeth and gutted out his recovery without painkillers and faced rather painful therapy without balking. He was tough. In his work, he was banged up pretty hard on a daily basis. But the extreme torture seizing him now was purely emotional and yet it hurt worse than all the rest. He could barely breathe.
What had he been thinking getting serious with a woman? He cleaned out the lint trap. Crazy, maybe. That had to be the only explanation. This involved, committed, shattered heart thing was for the birds. He spun the dial and the dryer chugged to life. He swung the basket off the floor, grimly determined to forget his terrible mistake and never get involved again. Lesson learned. He would never let another woman anywhere close to his heart.
Every step he took made the agony worse. He shouldered down the hallway, frustrated, trying to hide the fact he felt as if he were bleeding to death. Just forget her, Tucker. Let her go.
The back door swung open, a man’s voice mumbled low and a woman’s answered with an amused chuckle. Autumn tumbled through the threshold, her hand entwined with her fiancé’s. Ford Sherman towered in the doorway, clearly besotted, as he reluctantly said good-night. Autumn went up on tiptoe to kiss him—time to exit stage right—and it took all of Tucker’s self-discipline not to remember kissing Sierra on that porch with the starlight falling over them like grace. He hiked up the stairs as fast as he could go. He retreated to his room and began folding clothes and packing them into his suitcase.
Don’t think about her. He was a goal-oriented man. He could banish her if he put his mind to it. The trouble was that she was in his heart, in every part of it, and that wasn’t something he could budge. Frustrated, he paired up his socks, working methodically. Maybe putting distance between him and this town would help. After all, his land deal would take time to close and he didn’t have anything better to do than to get back to work.
Downstairs, the back door opened and he focused on the familiar sound of Frank kicking off his boots and dropping his keys.
“Dad! How did the big date go?” Autumn’s voice sailed up the staircase, full of happy hope. “Did you and Cady have a nice time?”
“Passable.” Humor layered that word, saying more than Dad would probably like. “Not that I’m going to tell you about it, little girl.”
“Ooh, it did go well.” Autumn was a huge fan of Cady’s. Cady had been taking riding lessons from Autumn since last summer, and they had gotten close. “So, will there be a date number two?”
“She said yes when I asked her, so I guess so.” Dad sounded happy. Happier than he’d been since Tucker could remember.
Lord, if Cady makes him this happy, then please work this out well for the two of them. He plucked a T-shirt out of the basket and gave it a snap. Sometimes love worked. He liked Cady. She definitely was kind enough to love Dad the way he deserved.
The way Sierra apparently couldn’t do for him. His guts seized tighter, adding to his general misery. He hadn’t figured she would reject him. He’d thought she felt the same way he did, wrapped up in love and devotion, his heart taking him on an adventure he’d never been on before.
“Sean! Did you get settled in okay?” Dad sure sounded chipper. Sean’s answer came as an indistinguishable mumble, one Frank chuckled at. “Good. That movie looks interesting. I’ll be down to finish watching it with you. Got to check on my son.”
At least he had warning, Tucker thought, as he folded the shirt and packed it. Every beat of his father’s step made the inevitability closer. It was time to leave. Normally he was eager to go. He kept distance between him and everyone else with good humor and a solid exit plan. But it wasn’t working this time. He felt heavy and conflicted as he shook the wrinkles out of another shirt and folded it. What was different?
“What’s going on?” Frank filled the doorway, loosening his tie. “Looks like you’re packing.”
“Time to go. I got the okay from the doc, so it’s back to work.” He ignored the hitch of sorrow and shook another shirt out of the basket. Bull riding didn’t interest him like it used to do. It didn’t take a genius to know why. “I’ve been hanging around here too long.”
“Getting tired of us?”
“You know it.” He set his jaw. He had to keep things light. That was the way to handle this. He folded the tee in thirds and dropped it onto the stack.
“I figured you might stay this time.” Dad ambled in, pausing, his silence heavy with understanding. After a few minutes, he spoke again. “What about Sierra Baker?”
“What about her?” A pair of jeans were left at the bottom of the basket so he shook those out.
“You and she were getting close. I thought—” He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to.
Tucker knew what everyone thought. “You weren’t wrong.”
“What happened?”
He ignored the tug of emotion his father’s caring caused. He shoved aside the need to let anyone close. It hurt too much. “Nothing that a little distance can’t fix.”
“Hmm.” Frank seemed to think about that, but he didn’t walk away. Understanding set across his features. He must already know what had happened. “I met Green on the road. He was driving to town, I was coming home. We rolled down our windows and chatted for a few.”
“Nothing new about that.” He laid the jeans into place and opened his top dresser drawer. Since he knew what was coming, he braced himself and prepared for the subject he’d trade his retirement account not to talk about.
“Green said he accepted an offer on his place. Your offer. The sale closes in a few weeks.” He didn’t sound surprised or angry his son hadn’t shared a big decision like that with him. “I take it Sierra knows about it?”
“She knows.” More clipped than he meant to sound and he winced. Too late to take the tone back, so he dug a half dozen pairs of socks out of his drawer and dumped them into the suitcase. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sure, I get that.” Easygoing, that was Dad, and persistent. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching the packing process curiously. “I can sympathize with Sierra.”
“Sheesh, thanks, Dad.” He rolled his eyes and opened another drawer.
“I meant I had a spouse run out on me. I can guess how she might be feeling.” Frank Granger was still ten feet tall, still kind as could be, and always knew just what to say. “It does something to you when a marriage ends like that. When you’ve put your all into it only to find out the reason it wasn’t working was because the other person was just going through the motions. Your mom took off to find what made her happy, since it wasn’t ever going to be me, and left me with the responsibilities. All of them.”
“I hear what you’re saying.” Tucker could picture Sierra sitting across the booth from him in the diner, and felt the regret as she’d turned him down for good. “None of it makes me feel any better.”
“Do you love this girl?”
“I do.” It panicked him, it calmed him, it made him crazy all at once. All he wanted was her. She hadn’t been in his plans, but it felt as if he’d just been wandering until she’d lassoed his heart. He sorted through his T-shirts, decided which to take and which to leave but he couldn’t concentrate. “She doesn’t want to be anything more than friends.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you.”
“She said love isn’t enough.”
“Sometimes it’s not.”
That was the simple truth he feared. Tucker shut the lid and zipped the case closed. Time to get out of
Dodge. An escape plan was the only strategy he had. He couldn’t stay here where he would bump into Sierra in town. That would rip him apart more.
“Want help packing?” his dad asked.
“No, go on downstairs and put your feet up. Take it easy. You have to be wrung out after your first date in over thirty years.” A little good-natured kidding always helped lighten the mood and chase away feelings he didn’t want to deal with.
“I am a little worse for the wear. If you’re sure?”
“Yep. I’ve got it covered.” He liked seeing his dad relaxed and happy and hopeful. “Does this mean we’ll be getting a new stepmom?”
“Don’t get the cart before the horse, son.” Frank chuckled, but his flush turned a deep, telltale red.
Dad married again? That was something to look forward to. Tucker turned to his closet so his father couldn’t see him grin.
I’m late, late, late. Sierra squinted through the wet dotting the windshield between wiper swipes. The country road ahead of her was a smear of concrete and painted lines bordered by smatterings of fallow bunchgrass. What the rain wasn’t blurring, her tired eyes did for her. She hadn’t gotten more than a few winks of sleep last night, tossing and turning with Tucker Granger on her mind.
He was still there front and center with his purchase and sale agreement for the Green’s ranch and his heart on his sleeve.
She’d done the right thing. She had to believe that. Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel until the plastic bit into her skin. She had Owen. She had responsibilities. She’d worked hard to right her son’s world and to help him feel secure again. She couldn’t trust her son’s heart and her own to an uncertain future. She knew Tucker wasn’t like Ricky. But knowing that didn’t stop the panic from clutching her like a smash-and-grab thief. She had to be sensible regardless of how much it hurt.
What she should be thinking about was her new job. The inn’s driveway came into sight just before the outskirts of town and she hit her signal. Something big and black rolled into her view in the oncoming lane. An RV, top of the line and impressive even in the rain. The wipers stroked at a tinted windshield, so she couldn’t see who was driving. She didn’t need to. She could tell by the wrench of sorrow behind her rib cage.
Tucker. Memories assaulted her as she slowed to take the driveway. His confident manliness as he’d approached her that day in the hospital, his kind comfort he’d given her son, his steady friendship when he’d sat beside her during the surgery. His consideration, his kiss, his flowers. His unending generosity and solid friendship with Owen. Tears burned in her throat as she spun the wheel blindly and came to a stop in the paved lane. The enormous RV blew by her, pulling a horse trailer, and she wondered if Tucker had recognized her—of course he had—and if he felt as if a vital organ had been ripped out of his body, too.
Probably not. She took a slow breath, trying to blow out some of the pain. She gripped the wheel so tight, her knuckles were white. She pried her fingers open and sat for a moment, letting the wind buffet the side of the car and rain sluice down the windows. When she looked back, since January Tucker had paid so much attention to Owen. Maybe that’s all this had ever been. Tucker wanting to settle down, wanting a son, wanting the next phase of his life.
See how right she’d been to turn him down? A man could come into their lives, stir things up and who knew what would happen then? Tucker had so many options in his life. It was hard to imagine he would be content staying settled.
Or, maybe that was simply her fear talking. It was safer to avoid the tough questions and pretend the real reasons all had to do with the man, not with her.
Whichever, it hardly mattered now. He was gone. Heading back to his exciting life. She was safe. Her son was safe. Life could get back to normal—if she could figure out how to fill the hole his leaving had carved into her soul. If she could find a way to rid him from her memories and from her thoughts, then she could go on as if nothing had happened.
It wasn’t fair that one man could impact her this much. She straightened her shoulders, gathered her strength and took hold of the steering wheel. Lord, I trust you to see me through to where I need to go.
She didn’t feel exactly alone as she gave the vehicle a little gas and meandered down the lane. The inn towered ahead, a beautiful structure with southern country charm and western touches. Her new job awaited and so did her life without Tucker Granger.
Chapter Fifteen
“I hear the Greens’ sale closed. Tucker owns the property.” Jeri Lynn sawed a knife through a peeled potato and pretended she didn’t have an agenda.
Sierra was so not fooled. She grabbed a potato from the sink and the peeler from the counter. She hoped she adequately hid the hit of misery seizing her. She missed the man every day since he’d left town. “Tucker Granger. He’s the only topic of conversation you can think of? You haven’t asked me how my new job is going. We should talk about that.”
“I’m glad Cady has been able to give you more hours.” Jeri Lynn’s look of feigned innocence didn’t fade. She had the attitude of a mom on a mission but at least she took the hint. For now. “Are you enjoying working for her?”
“Yes. It’s a very pleasant working environment.” The Lord had provided a part-time job, opening a window when a door had closed, and Sierra appreciated it very much. What could have been a precarious financial position had worked out for the best. “There’s a chance I can move to full time. The manager is happy with my work.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Jeri Lynn put down her peeler. The big country kitchen of the farmhouse framed her like a picture with white cabinets, cupboards, appliances and a long stretch of yellow counter.
Sierra thought of the countless meals she’d helped her mom prepare in this house over the years. It had been a nice place to grow up, filled with laughter and love during the good times and solace in the tougher times. Maybe it’s why she’d wanted to stay for supper after work instead of taking Owen and rushing home. She desperately needed comfort. She missed Tucker. She had broken her own heart by refusing his love.
There she went, thinking of Tucker again. She winced and finished peeling the potato.
“Mom?” Owen wandered in with the stuffed Slayer tucked in the curve of his arm. “I’m hungry. Can I have another cookie?”
“Supper is an hour away, young man.” She plunked the potato onto the cutting board and wiped her hands on her apron.
“Would you like some potato?” Jeri Lynn ran the knife through the russet and popped a small slice into her mouth. “It’s not a cookie, but it will tide you over.”
“I guess.” Owen scampered over, his cowlick standing straight up, mussed from the Stetson he’d been wearing earlier, the one Tucker had given him.
“Has the rodeo started yet?” Jeri Lynn asked as she grabbed a cereal bowl and added a handful of slices to it. “I hear cheering in the living room.”
“Yep. They’re calf ropin’ right now. But not Tucker. He rides Slayer tomorrow. He told me. He and I talk all the time. We’re buddies.”
“So I’ve heard,” Jeri Lynn practically sang as she sprinkled a light layer of salt on the slices and handed over the bowl. She had never looked as happy. “I have a big question for you. How much does he talk to your mom?”
“Mother!” Really. Sierra dropped her peeler and gave Owen a light, loving nudge in the direction of the living room. “You don’t want to miss the calf roping.”
“No, cuz Calvin’s going to be up real soon. He’s Tucker’s friend, too.” Owen stopped in the archway, adorable, big blue eyes glittering with excitement. “I got to talk to him when Tucker called. They were having hamburgers on the barbecue.”
“Nice.” She tried not to wonder how easily Tucker had gone back to his life without her. It wasn’t as if she’d given him a choice, so why did it hurt so much?
Before her mother could grill the boy more, she escorted him into the next room. The living room was comfortable more than impressive, fu
ll of overstuffed furniture and antiques handed down through the family. Images of a horse and rider chasing down a running calf flashed across the wide-screen in the corner and Owen was instantly mesmerized. What a relief.
Maybe that would be the end of the Tucker talk. Fine—probably not, but a girl could hope. She was shattered enough and talking about him only stirred up the knowledge she could have made a different choice. But she’d been too scared of getting hurt again. Not too proud of herself, she sauntered into the kitchen recognizing that gleam in her mother’s eyes. “Don’t even go there, Mom.”
“I can’t help it. Don’t think I don’t know what went on between you and Tucker.” Jeri Lynn shook her knife with motherly emphasis before chopping up another potato. “I heard all about the diner. He declared his love for you and you turned him down.”
“I can’t talk about this.” It tore her apart. She regretted ending their relationship—friendship, she corrected. Except for his kiss. Except for the flowers and his steady courtship and his determination to build a bond with her son. The backs of her eyes burned and she blinked hard, refusing to let her walls down. She was well fortified. As long as she kept Tucker at a distance she could not get hurt.
“A man doesn’t buy a hundred thousand acres if he isn’t serious.” In the other room, the roar of the crowd crescendoed as the rodeo continued. Apparently something very exciting was going on. Jeri Lynn gathered up the slices and spread them out in a casserole dish. “He bought that land for you and Owen. The Greens have the most gorgeous house, a nice place to raise a family. That man is letting you know he’s ready to settle down.”
“The way Ricky was?” She lowered her voice so Owen wouldn’t accidentally overhear. “Tucker and I are worlds apart. I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is. He went back to his life the minute the doctor gave him the okay. He was never going to stay.”
“Maybe you broke his heart so he couldn’t bear to hang around. Did you ever think of that?”
