by Robert McKay
“It’s beautiful,” said Alice, mesmerized. She could feel something radiating from the blade, almost like a sound, just beyond her hearing. She felt the need to touch it, to hold it tight, and charge into battle for glory and honor.
“And most importantly, deadly,” said the queen, holding it out to Alice with her palms up. “Nobody will be able to hurt you as long as you carry this blade, so you have nothing to fear. You would cut down the entire crowd out there in an instant, should you choose. I give that power to you so that you can feel safe and accompany me to greet the peers of Wonderland and make them jealous.” The last bit was said with a mischievous grin that made Alice feel like a co-conspirator.
Alice found herself reaching for the sword on instinct. She paused, just before taking the hilt, remembering her manners and who she was dealing with. “May I?” she asked, her fingers trembling.
“Of course you may,” said the queen, a delighted grin spreading across her red lips. “So polite. You’ll make an excellent addition to my menagerie.”
Alice didn’t hear most of what the queen said after “Of course” because her hand locked around the hilt of the vorpal sword and it filled her mind with exquisite music. It promised to fulfill her every need and wish and to smite her enemies in a rush of song so sweet it practically brought tears to her eyes. It also promised to teach her the pure and unadulterated joy of combat for a worthy cause. She liked that thought and mentally asked for a demonstration. The sword obliged, teaching her a quick blade flourish that was more about flash than actual substance, but felt beautiful.
Alice was pulled from her reverie by the queen’s delighted cheer and the clap of her hands. “Oh, that was wonderful! You didn’t tell me you knew how to handle a sword so well. You continue to surprise and delight me, young lady.”
The song dimmed in her mind, but never quite went away, allowing her to focus on her present needs, though she knew it was ready for battle at a moment’s notice. The queen stepped closer, a belt in her hand, a scabbard clearly designed for the vorpal sword dangling from it. Alice grudgingly slid it inside the scabbard and took the belt, wrapping it around her waist. It was only slightly too large, much like the sword itself.
Immediately after belting it into place, she rested her hand on the pommel and the sword responded to her doubts about the queen’s story. It told her there was no magic in the blade, that it was made with only the most advanced science and technology and that it was in fact only thirteen years old, just like herself. It would have continued to tell of its history, had the queen not caught her attention again by turning and walking toward the door. “Come along, my little warrior, we have people to impress.”
CHAPTER NINE
The queen gave a long, boring speech up on the stage, saying how glad she was that everyone could be in attendance, and how much she missed them all. To Alice, it all came off as far too obvious flattery, but the rest of the crowd enjoyed it. A crowd of the rich and powerful, it seemed, reveled in flowery compliments with little substance.
Alice kept her hand on Snicker-snack’s pommel the entire time, trying to find a balance between listening to the sword’s song and the queen’s speech, knowing that she would be introduced on stage any time. Eventually, she realized she was filtering everything the queen said through the sword and it was helping her cut through the surface meanings to find the hidden truth. The sword was a much more dangerous weapon than the queen had explained. Alice couldn’t understand why the queen would have given her such a powerful weapon just to keep her feeling safe on stage.
“And now I present to you, the latest addition to my menagerie, young—” The queen paused, looked confused for a moment, and beckoned Alice over to the microphone.
“Alice,” filled in Alice, a shy smile on her lips.
“Young Alice. She’s quite the stunning little beauty, as you can all see. I’m sure many of you would like to get to know her better, so I’ll make the rounds to introduce you before we move on to the croquet match.” She gave Alice a predatory smile that made her skin crawl. “Mind your hands though folks, she’s carrying the vorpal sword and she knows how to use it. Show them, Alice.”
Alice obliged because she was dying to try out some of the moves the sword was parading through her head. She raised the sword in a classic en garde stance and then struck out in a couple of quick slashes, spun on her heel and lunged the other direction. There was a burst of surprised laughter and then cheers from the assembled crowd.
One man shouted a lewd comment and it was all Alice could do to keep herself from jumping down from the stage and running him through. Instead she flicked the sword in a flourish and slammed it home into its scabbard, pulling her hand from the hilt for the first time in the last half hour. She turned and took a slight bow before stepping back to the side of the stage. The audience clapped excitedly and began to chatter amongst themselves. All eyes were for Alice, including the queen’s, whose weren’t nearly as amused as the rest of the spectators.
“Please, help yourselves to food and drink. Croquet will start in about two hours,” said the queen. She stepped away from the microphone and took Alice by the arm, a little more roughly than was necessary to lead her. “Good show, darling Alice.”
“Thank you, your majesty,” said Alice, watching the crowd warily. Almost everyone in the room was casting furtive glances her way. More than a few openly stared and pointed while they talked about her. If it weren’t for having her hand on the hilt of the sword, she would have bolted from the room.
It was only a few seconds after they stepped down from the stage that the first of them approached, a red faced man with a round belly and a large white mustache that reminded her of a walrus with its large tusks.
The queen stepped forward and greeted him, he bowed as best his belly would allow. “Your majesty,” he said, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. “You must tell me where you found this girl. She swung that sword as if she were born with it in her hand.”
That’s when Alice noticed he had a sword hiding at his side, the hilt practically hidden by his girth. He and the queen chattered idly for a few minutes, the man pushing for more information and the queen providing none because she didn’t have any. It obviously made her uncomfortable, so she eventually waved at a passerby and excused herself to talk to the next guest. The walrus stood there, mouth gaping open and pointing at Alice, to whom he’d never even been introduced.
They walked over to a woman in a green gown that sparkled with gems. A small tiara, similar in design to the queen’s, rested on her red hair. “Laxana,” said the queen, “I’m sure you would love to meet Alice, she’s just your type.”
“Of course I would, your majesty, though I’m not sure that I have a type, as it were,” said the lady, giving a slight incline of her head and the slightest bend at the knee that was meant to be a curtsy.
Alice cringed, waiting for the queen to shout for someone to take her head for daring to disagree, even about their own opinion. There weren’t any guards that were close by, so Alice worried the queen may expect her to do the deed. Instead, the queen laughed politely. “Oh, Laxana, there’s no need to feign disinterest, you never could resist a blonde, and young and willing to learn makes it three for three.”
The woman looked down at Alice, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. “Very well, you have me pegged. Will you introduce us already?”
“Of course,” said the queen, her wicked grin returning. “Alice, I’d like you to meet Laxana, Duchess of Wonderland, and my dear friend.”
The duchess extended her hand to Alice, palm down. She took it in her own because that much was obvious. What she was supposed to do other than that was beyond her. A quick glance at the queen showed her kissing the back of her own hand. The duchess pretended not to notice, though she had to be in her peripheral vision.
Alice did as she was expected and kissed the back of the duchess’ hand. It was very smooth and soft. It was awkward to be kissing a stranger. Her unea
se was wiped away by their smiles. They looked so proud of her. “A pleasure to meet you, um, Your Majesty?” said Alice, making it a question because she wasn’t sure what to call a duchess.
“Your Grace, actually,” said the duchess, slowly drawing her hand back and giving Alice a dazzling smile. “Only a king or queen is called Your Majesty. And a pleasure to meet you as well, Alice.”
The queen watched their exchange with veiled calculating eyes. “Laxana will, of course, be playing croquet with us. She’s quite the player.”
“Pish posh,” said Laxana, her eyes only flicking away from Alice for a moment to look at the queen. “Everyone knows there’s no croquet player in the kingdom who can hold a candle to you.”
“There you go with your flattery. You know it won’t get you anywhere,” replied the queen, a silly grin on her face.
“Oh yes, but you do blush so prettily, I can’t contain myself,” said the duchess, finally turning back to face the queen.
Alice stopped paying much attention to their words after that. It was all idle banter and Alice had more important things on her mind, like the heavily laden table of food she could smell all the way across the room. She looked at it longingly as the queen and duchess prattled on about sums of money that meant little to Alice. She was so hungry, she actually contemplated eating the mushroom in her pocket.
After a time Alice realized both of the women had stopped talking and were looking at her. They had probably asked her a question, but she hadn’t heard it. “I’m sorry, did someone ask me a question?”
They both laughed heartily at that. Alice realized that the duchess was quite a bit younger than the queen, with very few laugh lines, and if possible, even more pretty. She didn’t appear to be wearing any makeup either, which Alice found strange for such a public occasion. Her mother wouldn’t ever be caught dead at a grand occasion like this one without her makeup on. Even her dress, which was beautiful, did seem less extraordinary than someone of her stature would wear to a grand party.
“I was asking if you might like to have something to eat, Alice,” said the duchess, her radiant smile making Alice smile in return. “You look as if you might bite someone soon.”
Alice blushed and turned her gaze back to the ladies. It had drifted back over to the food without her realizing. “Yes, that would be lovely, I feel as if I haven’t eaten in days.”
When she thought about it, she probably hadn’t missed much more than her dinner the night before and her breakfast. She was amazed. As far as she’d ever heard, there was no such place as Wonderland within easy distance of Nedra, and she’d gotten there and had an adventure in less than a day. Either this was the most detailed dream of her life, or The White Rabbit truly was a remarkable ship.
Thinking about The White Rabbit made the wonderful delicacies she heaped on her plate seem much less tasty. While attending parties with royalty was nice, it wasn’t nearly as fun as the pirating adventures she planned to have when she got her ship. The queen was being so nice now, it was hard to remember that just an hour or two ago, she’d had a man beheaded for an offhand remark. That thought put Alice off her food entirely. Despite the fact that it wasn’t empty, a man wearing a crisp black tuxedo came over and took away her plate for her like he knew that she was done with it. It was like magic. She stared after him with a look of wonder on her face.
“The queen really does have the best servants. I think she must have hunted around for some with small amounts of empathic ability so they know just when and where they’re needed.” The duchess stood next to Alice, sipping from a flute of champagne. She seemed to be enjoying herself quite well, a warm flush on her cheeks.
The queen had moved on to talk with other guests. Even as Alice looked over to them, they were pointing toward her and the duchess and seemed to be angry. Alice was torn as to whether she should follow the queen and looked askance at the duchess. “I was so involved with my food, I didn’t see her walk away.”
“Don’t worry yourself my dear, I’ve paid handsomely for your company this evening, so you won’t have to be dragged around to all the other guests of the party. We’ll receive plenty of jealous looks, but you needn’t worry about disappointing the queen.” The duchess winked over at the man who was with the queen, now waving wildly, his heavy jowls flapping and spittle flying from his lips.
He glared at the duchess; the queen said something too quiet to be heard from a distance and his anger washed away, leaving him slack jawed. He stared at the queen for a moment and then clamped his jaw shut and stalked off. The queen waved amiably over to Alice and Laxana and then turned and waded further into the party.
“I’m not the queen’s property to be auctioned off,” said Alice, glaring up at the duchess.
“Of course not, my dear, but she thinks you are, and playing along is the best way to keep your head,” said Laxana. She reached out and squeezed Alice’s shoulder reassuringly. “I just wanted to spend some time with you, and giving her money was the easiest way to accomplish that.”
“But why?”
“Why what, Alice?”
“Why do you want to spend time with me? I’m just a girl that you don’t know at all.” Alice regretted saying it as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Anything was better than staying with the queen and being paraded around for the whole evening. It just didn’t make any sense. “Your Grace,” she added belatedly, remembering her manners.
“Please, call me Laxana,” she said. She stared into the distance for so long that Alice decided she was going to ignore the rest of her question. Finally she said wistfully, “You remind me of myself.”
Alice couldn’t imagine how, but she wasn’t about to contradict her. The sword agreed, so Alice simply smiled and said, “Thank you.” She could feel eyes boring into her, and glanced up in time to see the walrus flick his gaze from her to Laxana. “What do these other people want with me then?”
Laxana followed Alice’s gaze to the walrus. “Let’s just hope that you never have to learn the horrible things that are on their minds. Regardless of their ways of doing it, they all enjoy hurting people, and they love their trophies most of all.” Just then a woman walked by and Laxana pointed to the necklace she wore. It was a gold chain with human teeth dangling from it like disgusting charms.
Alice shuddered and stepped closer to Laxana, grateful for the protection her company offered.
CHAPTER TEN
The two hours the queen had promised for eating and chatting turned into at least four. Laxana eventually coaxed her into eating some more and asked her about her life. There wasn’t much to tell, so mostly she ended up telling stories about her adventures with her cat, Dinah. Laxana seemed to genuinely enjoy them, smiling, laughing, and gasping in all the right places. The longer Alice was with her, the younger the duchess seemed, young enough to be a friend, except when she looked her directly in the eyes. Then she seemed older than even her mother.
Whenever Alice tried to turn a question Laxana asked back on her, the duchess simply shook her head and said, “I doubt you would find my life very interesting.”
The sword was strangely silent while in the presence of the duchess, only singing of the joy of fighting and offering little insight into Laxana’s words. It left her longing to put the sword to the test.
Finally, after what seemed a lifetime, the queen stepped back up to the stage and took the microphone. The chatter in the room came to an immediate halt. “Now everyone, it is the moment you’ve been waiting for. It is finally time for a rousing round of croquet.”
The crowd cheered wildly, as if they were being treated to a finals game of football. Croquet was fun to play, but it wasn’t exactly the most exciting spectator sport.
“I urge you all to adjourn to the roof,” continued the queen, “where you’ll be able to view the game on the Globe, the most spectacular screen ever invented. Tonight, in addition to myself, you’ll have the pleasure of watching the duchess Laxana compete.”
Ano
ther cheer erupted from the crowd. The duchess waved demurely and curtsied.
“And, young Alice,” said the queen, waving a hand grandly toward Alice and the crowd went wild.
Alice copied the duchess as well as she could, though her wave was a bit awkward, and her curtsy was far from graceful. Her cheeks turned as red as a beet, but the crowd turned away and immediately began to chatter amongst themselves as they made their way toward one corner of the room. Laxana stayed behind, so Alice stayed with her. “Why will they be watching the game on a screen?” she asked.
“Oh that’s right, you’ve never been here before,” said Laxana, tilting her head back and shaking it at her own forgetfulness. “The croquet field isn’t exactly standard. Also, it’s in space.”
“What?” asked Alice, entirely certain that she hadn’t heard her correctly. “The croquet field is where?”
“In space,” repeated Laxana, a smile tugging at her pouty lips. “The queen doesn’t do anything by half measures. It’s not just a croquet field. It’s a giant sphere floating out in space that can generate a realistic, touchable holographic image of just about anything you can imagine. If it were just boring old croquet on a lawn on the roof, I wouldn’t waste my time, and neither would the rest of this lot.”
“That sounds an awful lot like science fiction,” hedged Alice, not wanting to seem like a gullible child when the duchess told her she was joking, but still getting excited at the idea of playing croquet in space.
