by J. H. Croix
For a second, that put me close to Mack, but I moved away quickly, turning and striding across the room to look out over the parking lot. For a moment, my vision blurred, and it infuriated me to be on the verge of tears. I took a sharp breath and blinked hard until the tears passed. The Badlands were a dark silhouette in the distance, hulky in the night sky under the stars and the ethereal light of the moon.
I cast my reply to him over my shoulder, striving to keep my tone casual and dismissive. “Of course I was kidding.”
Unfortunately for me, Mack knew me pretty well and seemed to sense my shaky mood. I heard him cross the room and stop at my side. When I let my eyes slide sideways, I saw his hands were stuffed in his pockets, and his eyes were concerned.
“Ash, I didn’t mean—”
I cut him off quick. I didn’t need one single person to feel bad or be worried about me and most certainly not Mack. “I don’t know what you’re about to say you didn’t mean, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine. It was just a kiss. No need to get all worried that I want something from you. I don’t. I won’t get confused and think you want me.”
“Ash,” he began again.
This time, I spun away so fast I almost stumbled. Unfortunately, his hand landed on my shoulder, big and warm and sending a blast of heat straight through me. It dropped away when I shook it free and stalked across the room.
“Really, Mack,” I said as I scooped my bag from the floor where it had fallen before Mack plastered me against the wall and kissed me senseless. Turning, I held his eyes as I crossed to the dresser and set my bag on top of it. “Just a kiss. Like I told you, I’ve sworn off men. That includes you. Let’s call that a momentary lapse in judgment. Plus, you started it.” I knew my tone had an edge to it.
The truth was, I was bitter about men. Really bitter. I could now add Mack to the long list of men who never wanted much from me.
This time, Mack seemed to have enough sense to keep his mouth shut. His eyes searched my face, and I gave a little shrug as if to punctuate my point. What that shrug actually meant was I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I didn’t know why I wanted Mack, or why it cut so deeply to realize he didn’t want me.
Just for once—even if it was a terrible idea—it would’ve been awfully nice for a man to get swept away by me. I unpacked my bag and then eyed the bed with my hands on my hips. We shifted into our typical routine. He took a shower first while I puttered around the room and found something to watch on TV.
While he showered, I called down to reception and had them bring up some extra pillows because I found only one extra one in the top of the closet. I brushed past Mack to take my own shower and wash off the sticky air from the bar hours earlier.
When I came out, the TV was off, and Mack already appeared to be asleep in the bed. He’d left a lamp on in the corner. I moved quietly over to my bag and put away my toiletries. I didn’t care if it meant getting hot; I was sleeping in a sweatshirt and a pair of pants tonight. I needed layers of protection.
Curling onto my side with my back to Mack, I looked out the windows into the darkness. I idly counted the stars while I tried to stop feeling so fucking shitty inside. You could swear off men, but I’d learned the hard way that didn’t mean you could convince yourself it wouldn’t be nice for someone to want you enough.
Chapter Ten
Mack
“That’s not necessary,” Ash said over her shoulder, her tone sharp.
I stayed silent and followed her through the crowd. It had been a long few days. This was Ash’s last show before the one in Niagara Falls. The tension between us had been building ever since that stupid kiss in the hotel.
I didn’t exactly know how or why, but I knew I’d hurt her feelings. Not that I expected her to explain. She seemed to have taken the approach of staying cold and cranky with me most of the time. She pushed through a door into a back hallway. Since I’d started this trip with Ash, I’d learned that every bar had a back hallway where musicians and bands passing through would leave their gear. The hallways were usually narrow, and this one was no exception.
Ash acted as if I wasn’t even behind her. It didn’t matter, or that was what I told myself as I followed her. I was just being her friend. I told myself Jackson would expect me to keep an eye on her. In fact, he texted me just the other day to ask how she was doing and thanking me for sticking with her for the rest of this trip.
Jackson: I’m glad she’s coming home, but I wasn’t thrilled to hear she was trying to hitchhike by herself. For that alone, I owe you one. Any ETA yet?
Our detour in the Badlands had been cut short after that night. Ash had taken the tact of speaking to me as little as possible. I didn’t know what the hell I’d done to piss her off so much. Maybe it was the kiss, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want more. With anyone. I figured that meant we agreed it was a bad idea for anything to happen between us.
Ash swung her purse over her shoulder, and I picked up her guitar case before she yanked it right out of my hands. “I have this, Mack. You sure you don’t wanna let me just borrow your truck for the rest of the trip?” Her chin was set in a mulish line as her eyes met mine.
“I thought we already had this conversation,” I replied.
“Right. You think Jackson wants you to keep me company. Whatever. I have two places booked in Niagara Falls, and then one more in Kentucky. We can manage that, right?”
“Of course.”
I knew I could handle it, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t suck. It was bad enough I had to fend off my fierce lust for Ash, but I felt even worse knowing I’d somehow hurt her feelings. Piling on top of that was my muddled confusion about all of it. Because, what the hell? I didn’t make a habit of worrying about feelings.
Ever since I’d encountered Ash, it felt as if she tilted the axis of my world slightly. Not much made sense. I only knew one thing for certain. I wanted her to the point of madness.
A day later, we crossed into Upstate New York. Although it was summer, the air felt crisper here than I knew it would in the South. Traffic began to pick up as we approached Niagara Falls. It was a world-renowned tourist destination, so that wasn’t exactly a surprise.
Ash looked over at me. “Do you have a passport?” she asked, the first friendly question she’d voluntarily offered in days at this point.
“I do. Why do you ask?”
“My show isn’t until tomorrow night. It’s on the US side, but I always heard the view of the Falls is better on the Canadian side. Do you want to cross over?”
“We’re here. We might as well cross the border.”
A few hours later, we stood and watched the Falls. The rush of the water was so profound I could feel it vibrating in every cell in my body.
Ash finally snapped out of her funk. “It’s amazing,” she called. Her words were caught on the wind and almost lost in the roar of the water.
With the place teeming with visitors, I understood why Niagara Falls was considered one of the Seven Wonders of the World. No amount of crowds or tacky touristy signs could drown out the stunning power and beauty of them. Ash and I watched for as long as we could before another group came along, and we had to move to make room for the view.
Even as we walked back to my truck, you could hear them in the distance. I watched the river by the road, rushing with its momentum already picking up.
Ash stopped at one point, her brown hair catching and swirling in the wind. “Thank you.”
I looked straight into her gaze, and my heart gave a resounding kick. “Thank you for suggesting we come over to this side. I’m sure the US side is good too, but this was incredible.”
“Pictures don’t do it justice,” Ash said, her eyes shining.
“Definitely not.”
We climbed back in my truck, drove back into the US, and found a hotel. Although my body still buzzed with need when I got too close to Ash, the cold tension that had been hanging over her seemed to have dissipated with ou
r visit to the Falls. For that, I was relieved.
We ordered dinner at a diner and called Jackson together at Ash’s suggestion. Things felt as comfortable as they could be between us by the time we retired to our separate beds in the hotel room.
Chapter Eleven
Mack
There was a blinding flash out of the corner of my eye followed by a loud crunching sound. I felt more than saw the collision. Ash let out a startled squeak.
Acting on instinct, I swung my truck along the shoulder and came to a jerking stop. Glancing across the highway, I saw flames flickering from under the hood of one car with another spinning before it flipped and skidded into the guardrail.
After throwing my seat belt off, I jumped out. Other cars had stopped on the highway. Scanning the two vehicles, I saw that the driver of the one on fire was already out and racing around to the other side of the vehicle.
Ash was right behind me. We ran together to the vehicle with the fire. Time was all we had on our side. I looked into the back of the car to see a baby in a car seat. The driver was out and clearly fine, but he was struggling to get the back passenger door open.
I silently cursed. Time graced us with its blessing, and inside of a minute, we got the baby out. After handing over the baby in the car seat to Ash and confirming no one else was in the vehicle, I looked at her and the man who’d been driving. “Get to the other side of the highway. The fire can catch fast, so don’t wait.”
As soon as they were on their way, I ran to check on the other vehicle, which had overturned and was crushed against the guardrail.
Peering inside, I saw that the driver was conscious and seemed okay enough to be turning his head to look at me. “You okay?” I asked.
“I think so,” the man replied, his voice coming out slow. Both of us looked toward the passenger together. The woman had a trickle of blood running down from her hairline in front of her ear.
“Sarah,” the man said.
The passenger side window was shattered, so I reached through and rested my fingers over her pulse. The woman’s pulse was thready but definitely there.
“How do you feel?” I asked the man.
“I just need to know if Sarah’s okay,” he said, his tone understandably worried.
“She’s got a pulse, so that’s good. I’m Mack. Although I’m not on duty and I don’t live here, I’m a first responder and a firefighter. If you think you’re okay to move, let’s see if we can get you out on your side. I can’t tell from here, but you might even be able to open your door.”
“What about Sarah?” the man asked.
“I’d prefer not to move her until an emergency vehicle gets here. That way, they can get her stabilized right away, depending on what’s going on.”
Peering in through the window, I could see the woman’s lower legs were bent at an awkward angle from where the door got crushed when it spun against the guardrail. Looking back at the man who hadn’t moved yet, I added, “I’ll come around there.”
The passenger side of the vehicle had taken the brunt of the blow. That side of the roof must’ve struck the pavement when the car flipped. Rounding the other side of the car, I carefully tested the door handle. “It’s probably going to make a god-awful sound,” I said, looking at the man, “but I think it’ll open. You ready?”
The man reached for his seat belt, but I shook my head. “Not yet. Let me get this open first. What’s your name, by the way?”
“Dan.”
He turned to look at Sarah again. “Sarah, can you hear me?”
“Let’s get you out first.”
A loud scraping sound where the frame was bent made it a challenge to open the door, but I was able to open the door with a strong pull. With my help, Dan clambered out, and by all accounts, he appeared fine. “You’re probably gonna be sore as hell tomorrow from the impact and bruises you’re not aware of yet, but so far, you’re looking good,” I commented.
Dan nodded. “Can we pull Sarah out?”
Straightening, I looked down the highway, disappointed not to see any sign of an emergency vehicle yet. Just then, the flames took hold on the other car. Sparks landed on the pavement, igniting a trail of fluid leaking from this car. In a matter of seconds, flames were licking along the side of the car.
We couldn’t afford to wait. Racing around the car, I reached through the window and pulled Sarah out. She remained unconscious, so I lifted her carefully and cradled her in my arms, walking swiftly to get clear of the vehicle in case the flames exploded when they reached the gas tank.
The interstate highway had a wide median in the center. With help from Dan, we eased her down on the grass just as several emergency vehicles arrived on the scene.
I heard a loud blast and figured the gas tank had caught fire. Immediately on the heels of that, I heard a startled cry, and every hair on my body stood. Despite the commotion around us, I knew that was Ash’s voice.
With my heart practically leaping out of my chest, I stood and spun around, my eyes scanning the area until I saw her stumbling backward. The emergency crews were moving into gear with the fire truck immediately focusing on the fire and the EMTs hurrying over the guardrail with a stretcher. Catching the eye of a woman on the crew, I barked, “She has a pulse. We had to get her out because the car was catching fire.”
I didn’t wait for a reply before I raced toward Ash. I reached her side just as she eased her hips down onto the guardrail. “What the hell happened?” I asked when I stopped in front of her, climbing over the railing so I could kneel beside her.
She was cradling her arm, and I reflexively reached for it. Gently holding her elbow, I pulled her hand away to see the singed fabric of her blouse. “What happened?” I repeated.
“I don’t know. When the car exploded, something flew through the air and hit me.” Ash’s words came out slowly. Her eyes were wide when she looked down at her arm and then back at me.
“Can I take a look?” I asked.
She nodded, clearly still stunned enough that she wasn’t even really reacting.
After carefully pulling the fabric apart, I saw that she had a burn mark and nothing more. Fortunately, whatever hit her must’ve bounced off after leaving behind a minor burn on her forearm. “This will be annoying, but I would guess the bruising tomorrow might be more painful,” I commented.
Looking back up, I lifted a hand and captured the hair falling over her eyes to brush it out of the way. “You’re going to be fine. It looks like something just glanced off your arm. It doesn’t look worse than a first-degree burn. How do you feel?”
“It just scared me. That’s all. It hit really hard.”
“I bet.” I looked away to see small burning bits scattered over the highway. Any one of them could’ve been the culprit. Bringing my focus back to Ash, I tried to will the tightness in my chest to ease. I’d been calm all through this because I was trained to stay composed when the shit hit the fan. But this was Ash. Even though objectively, I knew she was okay, I was having an intense reaction to even the threat of harm to her.
When I looked back at her, her eyes held mine, fear flickering in them. I wanted to fold her into my arms.
“Excuse me, sir,” a voice said.
“Yeah?” I said as I straightened, keeping a hand on Ash’s shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself not to touch her at this moment.
“I understand you got that woman out of the car? Good work and just in time,” one of the emergency workers said.
“No problem. I’m a first responder. We just happened to be driving by. Normally, I would’ve waited, but we didn’t have time with the fire. Is she conscious yet?”
“Yeah. Looks like she’ll be okay. She sustained a broken ankle, and the cut on her forehead will require a few stitches. She took a hit to her head, but she’s oriented. Dan, her husband, was hoping to talk to you before we leave with her.”
I looked down toward Ash. “Go ahead,” she said. “I’m fine.”
“Can you take a
look at the burn on her arm?” I asked as I stepped over the guardrail to approach Dan where he was standing beside the stretcher as they prepped it to lift into the ambulance.
“Absolutely,” the woman said quickly.
“Thank you.” Dan held my eyes when I stopped in front of him. “They’re telling me if you hadn’t gotten her out of the car, well… I don’t even wanna think about it,” he rushed out.
“No need because that’s not how it went. If I hadn’t been here, somebody else would’ve helped,” I replied.
“Thank you,” he repeated.
A jumble of activity followed with the police gathering statements from everybody who witnessed the accident. The highway was closed off while they cleaned up the debris. It was a good hour before we were cleared to leave.
Ash had the emergency tech cut off her burned sleeve. A light bandage was placed over the burn itself after they cleaned it. Once we were back in my truck, I glanced over. “How ya doing?”
Ash still looked shaken, but she shrugged. “Well, that was just crazy. I’m glad everyone’s okay.”
“Are you okay?” I pressed.
At her nod, I started the truck. I still hadn’t been able to grab the steely anchor of calm I was accustomed to after events like this.
The last time someone I personally knew had been in an emergency, everything went wrong. I’d been there and hadn’t been able to do one single thing to save her. I knew that was part of what had me so unsettled. Yet I didn’t know what the hell to do with how much I wanted to wrap Ash in my arms and hold her close. I knew that instinct wasn’t simply about protecting her. There was something akin to a craving inside me.
At that moment, her stomach growled, and she slapped her hand over it with a startled laugh. “We were supposed to stop and get brunch,” she commented.
Chapter Twelve
