by Len Webster
When the examiner took her paper from her table, Clara stood up and grabbed her bag from under her seat. Exiting the doors, she went down the stairs of the building, thankful that she spent her time focusing on her exams rather than her actual breakup. But now, Clara had no distractions, and the thought of it started to creep up into her chest, and the familiar tightening returned.
She heard the whispers throughout campus. She also heard the praises Darren got for having kept such an affair a secret for so long. Only a handful had sympathised with her. Those who knew her brother felt sorry for her, siding with Clara purely because of their loyalty to Alex.
But their support only did Clara so much. She didn't have a true friend she could really lean on. She only had Alex, but he was on the other side of the world, and she couldn't go and tell him about Darren. Alex had enough on his plate, and she didn't want to tarnish his visit with news that would no doubt anger him.
So Clara just kept it to herself. But she knew Alex would find out; he always had a way of finding out. One of his friends would no doubt tell him. Clara knew it would only be a matter of time until he would confront her and make her confess what the dirt bag did to his little sister.
Alex had always enlisted the help of his friends and their brothers to help take care of Clara. Her brother wouldn't let Clara go through high school without any kind of protection. Alex and his best friend, Noel, had ruled their high school. All the girls loved them and all the boys wanted to be associated with them.
Clara knew it would have been worse for her if she didn't have her brother. She owed him everything, especially her three-bedroom apartment in the city away from their parents. Alex paid for everything that came with the apartment: the bills, the maintenance, and the furnishing. Although Alex denied it, Clara knew he used some of his trust fund money to pay for her living. She loved her brother with all her heart, and the fact that he was coming home from New York in a matter of days made her smile.
"Clara, hey!" she heard someone yell from behind her. Clara reached her car with the keys in her hand and ready to go. Turning, she saw Annie Jenkins running towards her.
Annie had always been nice; it was hard for Clara to shrug off her kindness. The fact that she was pretty and popular always raised Clara's eyebrows. Annie wanted to be Clara's friend, and ever since the scandal with Darren broke out on campus, she let Annie sneak into her life.
"Oh, hey, Annie. How's it going?" Clara asked as she shuffled her car keys from one hand to the next. All she wanted to do was go home and cry, unravel all the pain, and just let it out.
She didn't need to put on a persona anymore. She could cry in the comfort of her own home, but Annie Jenkins was stopping her.
Bless her beautiful soul and all, but I'm starting to really hate her constant comforting.
"Nothing much. How'd you do on that employment relations exam?" she asked with bright, sparkly eyes. Annie always had those sparkly eyes flashing every time Clara saw her.
"Was a bitch." Clara breathed out a heavy sigh before realising what she said and quickly covering her mouth with her hand. "Crap, sorry, Annie. I shouldn't have used that kind of language. The exam was tough, but I got there." Clara watched Annie's reaction carefully. Annie was a good girl who never smoked or swore. She was the perfect example of a girl raised by wholesome parents.
Clara continued to watch Annie for a reaction. Annie's eyes crinkled, a large, perfect smile developed, and a laugh slipped through her lips. At first Annie's laughter had scared her, but it started to warm Clara.
"No worries, Clara. I kind of liked the way you just described that exam. It was a real piece of work, wasn't it?" she replied after the last sounds of her laugh settled and she was her smooth and graceful self again.
All Clara could do was smile at Annie. When she was with Darren, she wasn't up for making friends; she had her boyfriend and her best friend. The word had started a fire in her chest and tears started to prickle her eyes. Clara held them at bay. Annie was too kind to see Clara fall apart in front of her.
God, I'm a mess.
"So, what do you say?" The sparkle in Annie’s eyes started to subside, turning into a murky blue instead of that vibrant colour she was jealous of. Annie was worried. Her brows started to bunch together and her lips curve down; her face said it all.
"Uhh… Sorry, Annie, I didn't get what you just said."
"Oh, no bother. Me, Jarred, Ethan, and Bridgett are hitting up the coffee shop across the road. I was wondering if you wanted to come along, you know, celebrate that we finished university for the year," Annie explained, and the smile returned to her face.
Clara looked over to see Jarred smiling at her. They had a class together this semester, and he was nothing short of lovely. It was Clara who introduced Jarred to Annie. They had always been nice to her, and she didn't want to turn them down, but Clara suspected that she was only invited because of Annie.
She would literally be the fifth wheel to what seemed like a couple's kind of date. No place for the newly single Clara Lawrence.
"Thanks, Annie, I really appreciate the invite, but I'm tired, exhausted more like it. Plus, I'd be intruding. You guys have fun, though!"
"No, you wouldn’t be intruding. We want you there. Please?" She was fighting for her presence, and that made Clara smile.
"Thank you, Annie, seriously. With recent events you’ve been so kind to me that it's unfair. I think you need time away from me. Go off with your friends, and we’ll catch up next week. I have your number, and I'd like to hang out with you.” Not a single lie came from Clara's mouth. She really owed Annie for her compassion, and wanted them to be friends.
"Okay, sounds like a plan," Annie said with such excitement that she clapped her hands together.
"Great. Well, I better go. Long drive back to the city. I'll see you next week, Annie."
"Bye, Clara. Drive safely now." Annie smiled. Clara watched as Annie walked in the direction of her friends. She quickly stopped her pace and turned around. “Clara!” Annie yelled out for her attention. "They’re your friends, too,” Annie said without taking her eyes off Clara. A satisfied smile spread across her face before she walked back to the group.
My friends?
Clara laughed at Annie’s words and unlocked her car. Slipping in, Clara sat in the driver's seat. They couldn't be her friends. Clara had no friends. She was the epitome of desperate and useless.
No one wanted her, not Darren, and not even her parents. She was desperate to find that one person that would claim her, want her, and need her. Not spend time with her because they pitied her or expected something in return. Clara placed her key in the ignition and turned her Lexus—another present from her brother—to life.
Clara didn’t want anyone like Darren Porters to get as close to her as he did. She wouldn’t allow for it to happen again. She would rather be alone against the world; not even Annie would break her wall. Clara smiled weakly at herself in the rear view mirror.
"No one will ever hurt me again," she whispered to herself. Clara pulled out of the car park and drove towards the city to her apartment. She would start anew. She had to find a way.
Having cleared customs, Noel stepped foot on Australian soil for the first time in over a year. He didn’t like the circumstances he was in, without his best friend and babysitting his best friend’s sister. It would be some homecoming.
He took in the smell of the Melbourne air; Noel smelt taxis and tourists, but the air was different here than Boston. He loved it. He took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts for Alexander Lawrence’s number.
It was four p.m. in Melbourne, and Noel knew it would be twelve in the morning back in New York. He knew Alex would be up waiting for his call about his arrival.
"How was your flight?" Alex said softly. Noel knew he was tired. Alex had been working on the Owens account for hours at a time, starting early and finishing late.
"Long! I got sat next to a twenty-year-old, and she was a little
grabby, if you know what I mean. Had I not been strapped to my chair with about a hundred other people on the plane, I might have said yes." She was cute, but he wasn't up for any kind of fling during his eight-week stay in Melbourne.
"Jesus, Noel. God help me if you think of my sister that way. She’s not one of your one-night stands, got it? I trust you to not lay a finger on her.” It was more of a demand than a question. Noel knew his best friend would rip him apart, balls and all, if he tried to touch Clara. The threat did little as Noel laughed into the speaker of his phone.
"Don't worry, Alex. Your poor heartbroken little sister won't be rebounding with me. I can assure you,” Noel said, almost too proudly.
"Shit! You better make sure she doesn't go and throw herself at the next guy she sees. Her head isn't working properly, Noel. And I don't want her rebounding at all! No matter how much she wants to go home with a guy, you tell her no!" Alex was almost growling.
Is he serious?
Alex was one protective bastard over his sister. Noel always knew it, but this time it was different. But what did he know? He only had his older brother, George, who was sailing around Greece with his bride-to-be, Penelope.
"All right, Alex! No guys trying to get into your sister's pants. I got it. So, does little kiddo know you aren't coming for two weeks now?" Noel asked as he shuffled his bag in front of him.
"Crap!" Alex fumbled the phone and then a bang sounded. He must have punched the table again. It was a frequent sound whenever Noel spoke to Alex lately.
"You didn't tell her you’d be a week later than expected, did you?" Noel asked, raising the eyebrow he knew Alex wouldn’t see.
"I didn't even tell her I wasn't going to be there for her birthday, let alone two weeks late to see her," Alex said, sounding defeated.
"Don't worry, man. I'll let her down easy for you. Just concentrate on that case so you can get your ass down here," Noel teased. It was meant to be their summer to get away from work and everything in between.
"I owe you one. Thanks for doing this for me and checking in on Clara. I’m one lucky bastard to have you as my best mate,” Alex said with pride. Noel felt the same sense of pride through him. He was everything to Noel, practically his brother, blood or not.
"Remember, not a hand on my sister, got it?" It was another demand. Noel shook his head and let out a bothered breath of air.
"As if I'd lay a finger on my mate's sister, let alone little Clara."
"She isn't little anymore, I'll tell you that!"
"Yeah, yeah, Alex. She’s still your little sister to me. I better go; a taxi’s just pulled up,” Noel said as the driver lifted up the boot and put his bag inside.
"Thanks again, Noel." He noted the heavy sigh Alex let slip. A warning bell sounded; he started to worry over Alex. The feeling in him was unnatural. Such circumstances were normally the other way around between the two of them.
"No worries. I'll call you later," Noel replied, and hung up the phone. There were times in his childhood that he remembered Clara to be annoying. Noel pointed it down to her clinginess with her brother, but besides the framed picture of Alex and Clara in their dorm room, Noel hadn’t seen her since he left for Stanford.
Clara looked at the mess in her living room. It resembled the aftermath of a bomb dropping. She looked around the room to find two wine bottles and several noodle boxes from the Chinese restaurant a few streets away on her coffee table. A box of chocolates lay scattered across the floor and her TV was paused in the middle of the movie that had been playing. Clara walked over to her coffee table and picked up the two wine bottles, both empty.
She didn't even remember stopping by the bottle shop on her way home from her exam. Clara was never one to drink. She thought she couldn't handle her alcohol, but it seemed she could. She had drowned herself with two bottles the night before. Clara had promised herself forty-eight hours to mourn the expired and crumbled relationship she had with Darren. Forty-eight hours was all she needed to expel her lying, cheating bastard of an ex-boyfriend out of her system.
In twenty-four hours, her brother would be coming home, and he didn’t need to witness her fall from grace. Clara drew back her curtains and was met with the reality of her mess. In the light of day she saw a visible red wine stain on her rug. And the scattered chocolates had made their way to her window seat, some distance from the couch.
Clara was surprised at the sight of her apartment. She prided herself on self-control, but the sight made her feel ashamed. She let her failed relationship get under her skin. She let him cheat on her, and she let herself crumble behind closed doors. All of it was truly her fault.
Sighing, she started to pick up the pieces of white chocolate nut squares from the floor. They had never been her favourite, and she understood why they settled on the floor. She presumed an emotional fit of rage during her intoxicated state of mind had chocolates flying. As she stood up from the floor, Clara noticed what she had been watching last night. She cringed at the sight.
Katherine Heigl… of course!
27 Dresses was her go-to movie when she was upset. It had the right mix of heartbreak and happy ending. Clara winced at the thought that she probably belted out Bennie and the Jets along with Jane and Kevin. It seemed so fitting. Clara walked over to the kitchen and disposed of the chocolates in the bin. Returning to the living room, she collected the empty wine bottles and noodle boxes, placing them on the kitchen bench. As she glanced around her apartment, Clara was satisfied that it looked better than it did before.
Alex would be home this time tomorrow and she could concentrate on spending time with her brother. Clara had missed him more than anything. The last time she saw Alex was when they met up last winter in Switzerland for their ski trip in the Alps.
There were times where Clara wanted to desperately speak with him. But it always felt like an inappropriate time to call, and she knew Alex needed rest before flying out to Melbourne. She walked over to her bedroom and stood by the doorframe. Her room was painted a violet colour and her white French bed stood in the middle of the room against the wall. A window seat was on the opposite side of the bedroom door and a bookcase against the wall.
Clara's room was significantly large for an apartment in the city. All she needed was the view from her room. Her window gave her a painting of the city and she loved to see the twinkle from the stars above on clear nights.
Looking over at her bookcase, it held more pictures of her memories than it did books. A frame that sat in the middle was a shot of her and Alex taken the day he left for Stanford. A few other pictures of them from when she was younger, and one frame lay down flat. Clara knew what one it was. The memory flashed before her, the day they had a picnic out in the country, the day she thought she fell in love.
No matter how many times she tried to move the frame, she couldn’t. She left it where it lay, not wanting to touch or remember the memories that came from the picture. There would be a day where she moved it, but not today. Walking to her vanity, Clara sat on the padded stool and noticed the time on the clock, she had slept in till one in the afternoon. Staring at her reflection, her smudged makeup and messy bed hair made her cringe. Not liking the image that greeted her, Clara stood up and decided it was finally time anew.
Stepping out of the shower, Clara felt the warm water ease her mind and relax her body. Today was the first day of her new self. She had a life before Darren, and she was determined to find herself again. Walking over to her closet, she decided that she would dress the way she wanted to. Darren couldn’t dictate what outfit was appropriate and what wasn’t anymore, the choice was now hers. Clara searched through her closet until she found her short, pastel pink dress. The rosy dress was tight around her bust, but once it hit her hips it flared around her mid-thigh. She remembered the day she purchased it. Darren had told her it made her look cheap and Clara listened, leaving it on the hanger in her closet.
I could go see Annie for lunch.
Clara gave it a though
t, but she convinced herself she wasn't ready to let Annie in yet. She would wear the dress for herself. She would stay inside and watch the episodes of Hawaii Five-O she had recorded. Watching Steve McGarrette on her TV was nothing short of a good night ahead. It was a little past four once she dressed herself, put on a bit makeup, and watched the afternoon slots of Ellen and Dr. Phil.
Out the kitchen window, Melbourne was offering a beautiful day. She was tempted to go for a walk, but the heat from the sun would tire her out easily. Instead, she decided to stretch her legs and go downstairs to collect her neglected mail.
"Clara, you look amazing," she heard behind her. She quickly spun around to see Liam, her upstairs neighbour, standing behind her.
A blush heated her cheeks at the compliment. The attractiveness of Liam's hazel eyes could literally make any girl fall to her knees. Her breathing spiked and her knees turned to jelly. Liam was dangerous to be close to. She had always composed herself around him since she had been Darren’s. But now, Clara was single, and she took in and enjoyed every little bit of Liam’s flirtatious ways.
"Stop that, Liam!" she said once she controlled the sound of her voice. He made her uncomfortable, to the point where she couldn't stare at him for very long. Liam was ridiculously good looking, and ridiculously good looking men like him did not take a second glance at girls like Clara. Maybe it was the fact that she was no longer someone’s girlfriend that made him act the way he did. He was a playboy, and playboys brought with them trouble. Liam was definitely trouble, smooth-talking and without a hitch with women.
"Why? You don't have a boyfriend.” He raised his eyebrows. It surprised her that his comment didn’t hurt like she expected them to. It caught her off guard more than it made her flinch.
"Oh, if I remember correctly, it never stopped you in the past," she replied as she headed for the elevator with mail in her hands. Clara liked her response, and by the sound of his footsteps running to her, Liam did too.
