by Len Webster
Clara softly bit down on his bottom lip; the groan he let out gave her access to slip her tongue inside his mouth. Their tongues met, dancing, and his pulse boomed heavily as her nails dug into his back. He needed more. He needed to be in her and watch the pleasure consume her, but it was too soon. Realising the need to stop before he did something they’d both regret, Noel unwillingly broke away. With the little light of her bedroom, he could see her red, swollen lips as he looked down at her. Her eyes flashed with fear, but they didn’t hold the regret that worried him.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” She breathed heavily.
“I’m not. I better get to my room,” Noel said as he brushed her hair out of her face. Getting off the bed, Clara gripped his wrist to stop him.
“I wasn’t lying. I don’t want you to go. Stay with me.” His heart throbbed at her confession.
“Clara, you’re still messed up from drinking. You don’t want me to stay.” He sighed.
“No, I’m confused. There’s a difference. I had some guy try to force himself on me. I need you to stay. I don’t want to be alone. We’ll talk tomorrow. I promise. Just please don’t leave me. Do me this one thing and just stay with me,” she pleaded, stroking his cheek. Her touch sent tingles straight to his chest. His promise to stay away was now redundant.
“You promise we’ll talk?”
Clara nodded her reply.
“Okay, I’ll stay, Clara. Get some sleep,” he said softly. Noel climbed back onto her bed and pulled her near. Clara rested her head on Noel’s chest and closed her eyes.
“Goodnight, my sweet Clara,” he whispered to her, and placed a kiss on her head. For tonight, she would be his Clara.
As the sun rose through the window, the sunlight started to touch Clara’s hair. It was one of the most majestic moments he had ever witnessed.
Looking down at Clara, a small smile graced her lips, and the colour in her face returned. He gently stroked her hair as she nuzzled into him. She had slept peacefully without a single stir. Noel looked to his left and saw that Clara’s alarm clock had just ticked 5:57 a.m. It was Wednesday morning, and he was sure she would have to be up early for work. His heart was torn between leaving her and staying with her. But he knew that Clara waking up to him wasn’t something she was prepared for.
Slowly pulling the covers aside, he gently moved Clara off his chest, placed her lightly back on the pillow and got off her bed. As he tiptoed out of Clara’s room, he took one more look at her. Her hair spread across the pillow, and a peaceful smile lit her beautiful face.
She’s the most stunning sight I have ever seen. I have to fix this.
Determination flowed through his veins. He had to make up for what he did. He almost lost Clara last night, and he never wanted to know that feeling again. His hand reached the door handle, and he paused.
His body already missed Clara’s touch and her smell. But he knew it had to be like this for now. He wanted her to forgive him, but on her terms. He didn’t want to force her for her forgiveness. He had to play it right. Opening her bedroom door, he walked through the lounge room and into the kitchen. He yawned out and stretched his body before he turned the kettle on. Moments later, the sounds of Clara’s alarm echoed through the apartment, and then she groaned.
Noel opened the top cupboard and pulled out two mugs. He turned to see Clara’s door open. Her right hand soothed her temples while her left hand held her phone. Clara sighed. She was still wearing the clothes she wore last night—a pair of skinny jeans and a tight black T-shirt. Their eyes met, but there was no hint of anger in them. She walked over to the bar stools in front of him and sat on one.
“Coffee?”
“That would be great, thank you,” she replied as she scrolled through her messages. Noel put a spoonful of instant coffee in each of their mugs. After adding a dollop of sugar, hot water, and a touch of milk, he handed Clara the mug.
“How do you feel?” he asked, leaning on the bench.
“I have a pounding headache,” she groaned.
He looked down to see her inspecting her wrist. Clara winced as she ran a thumb over the bruise. The anger in him burned like wildfire; Boulders had physically left a mark on her. If he ever found him, Noel knew he’d make him pay for what he did. He looked away from the sight of Clara’s bruise.
“How much do you remember?” Noel asked after a moment of silence.
Clara pondered as she sipped on her coffee. “I remember drinking with that guy. Then Max punching him, and that’s it. I can’t remember what happened next. How did I get home?”
“Max called me to come get you. And I drove you home,” Noel said disappointingly as he wrapped his fingers around the mug handle. A part of him wished she remembered. He wanted Clara to remember their second kiss. He shook his head and looked up to her. The confusion on her face induced the sadness he felt. Pushing off the counter, he emptied his unfinished coffee down the sink, not feeling the need for caffine.
“Is your wrist okay?” he asked over his shoulder. Noel rinsed his mug and placed it on the sink.
“I think it’ll be okay.”
She doesn’t remember the promise she made me.
“Listen, Noel. Thank you for last night. I think I remember that you were there,” she said. Her words had him turning to face her.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry about your birthday and Valerie.”
“I’ve never had good birthdays anyways.” She shrugged. “I better get ready for work. I’d call in sick, but it’s Wednesday, and Danny can’t make the specials without my help. They’re the only ones I make before opening. Danny gets in at three a.m. to start making the others,” Clara said as she turned to walk back to her bedroom.
Twenty minutes later, Noel watched the back of Clara’s red skirt and white bakery top leave the apartment. Noel had stayed on the couch while Clara got ready for work. Clara didn’t remember, and he was sure he’d rather she did. Not being able to share the memory of last night was killing him. The sound of his phone rang through the apartment. Not bothering with the caller ID, he picked it up and answered.
“Hey, Noel.” He recognised the low, brute voice on the other end.
“I had a tough night. There is no way I want to go rowing with you this morning, Rob.”
“You’re weak as shit! But that’s not what I’m calling about.”
“Okay, what’s up?” Noel asked curiously as he sat up from his slumped position on the couch.
“You remember Brent?”
“Yeah,” Noel replied. He hadn’t thought of Brent Thomas in a long time. In fact, he had his best years playing footy with him.
“He’s having his engagement party with Emilia tonight. I told him you were in town and he told me to invite you.”
“I don’t know, Rob,” he said.
“Emilia gave me the guest list. Valerie’s not coming, so you’re in the clear and…”
“And?”
“Emilia goes to university with Clara. Clara and her friends are going to be there,” Rob finished. Noel had told Rob about his situation with Clara the day after her birthday. They had been rowing on the Yarra when Noel vented out all his frustrations.
“So are you going to come tonight?” Rob asked, hopeful.
This could be my chance; she can’t run.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Good. Hopefully you and Clara can clear the air tonight.”
“Thanks, Rob. Is Julian going to be there? I haven’t seen your little brother in years.”
“Nah, he’s some big hot shot in Sydney. I’ve tried to convince him to come back to Melbourne. But since his trip back from Thailand a couple years ago, he’s completely submerged in his work.”
“Good for him. I’ll see you tonight. Send me the details,” Noel said and hung up the phone.
There was no cold wind in the air, the sun had almost set, and the view of Port Melbourne was breathtaking. As Noel walked up the old pier, he saw people he’d gr
own up with and hadn’t seen in years on the outdoor function room of the venue. But not the face he was looking for.
Making his way to the main function room, he noticed Brent and Rob near the food tables, and Noel walked over to them.
“Congratulations, Brent,” Noel complemented as he shook Brent’s hand. Brent had always been the skinniest player on their high school football team. But now, almost five years since they graduated, he had gained the weight they all never imagined he could.
“Thanks, mate. This is Emilia, my fiancée.” The glimmer of love in Brent’s eyes should have made Noel want to hurl, but he felt envious.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Noel. I’ve heard all the football stories. But I’d love to know about the cabin in Mount Buller story,” Emilia said. Noel let out a laugh. He hadn’t told that story in a long time.
“Come on, Noel. You’re a legend for that story. Tell it!” Brent said as he passed Noel a beer.
“All right,” Noel said as Brent and Rob hollered. “But Rob should tell it. He tells it the best,” he added.
"I'll gladly take the honours," Rob said as he started to clear his throat, his dramatic antics making both Noel and Brent laugh.
“Okay, this was before my brother went all anal and decided to be a corporate sell-out. We won the state championship and went to Mount Buller for a celebration. Our first night, we went crazy with the alcohol. Noel and Julian decided it’d be fun to play truth or dare while playing strip poker. They both got really drunk and one of the girls dared them to climb on the roof of the cabin across from ours and roll around naked.” Rob stopped as he took a quick drink of his beer and chuckled.
“So my little brother and Noel stripped and ran across the road to the other cabin. From where we were standing, we could just see Julian’s bare ass dangling off the roof as he struggled to pull himself up. Noel was there naked, trying to boost Julian up by his feet. Noel was dancing a bit too much, took too many steps back, and he fell off the roof. It was funny watching a naked Noel try to keep his balance." Rob shook his head at the memory.
“It wasn’t that funny!” Noel argued, remembering the cold snow.
“It was funny! Especially when we found you in the hot tub passed out in the lap of some old lady eyeing your junk. Best moment was Julian yelling, ‘Give grandma a kiss!’ and your drunken ass gave her a big, wet one! Got better when grandpa came and saw; Noel kissed him too before running away, giggling!” They all laughed as Noel rolled his eyes.
“Yes, I kissed Grandma and Grandpa. It was worth the frostbitten nipples!” Noel joined in on the laughter.
“What happened to Julian? Why isn’t he here?” Emilia asked.
“He’s up in Sydney. I don’t know what happened. He came back from Thailand changed. Dad and I think he met a girl, but we can’t be sure because he never talks about it.” Rob sighed and took another gulp of his beer.
“I just saw a couple of my cousins. It was lovely to meet you, Noel.” Emilia smiled as she and Brent walked over to see their guests. Looking around at all the people, her brown curls stood out to him. Clara wore a short pastel green dress, she wore her curls down, and a pair of heels made her legs look that extra mile. A smile graced her face as she spoke to Stevie and Annie. She looked around the room until her brown eyes landed on him.
God, she couldn’t look more beautiful.
“Another beer, Noel?” Rob asked as Clara directed a smile Noel’s way.
“Yeah, I’ll have another one.” Rob walked towards the bar as Noel stood there, contemplating whether or not he should walk over to Clara.
“Have you told Clara?” Noel heard someone say next to him. As if he was on autopilot, he tuned in on the conversation.
“She’s going to flip when she finds out,” a squeaky guy said.
“Clara shouldn’t know. Not yet. She can't know that Elizabeth's pregnant and—” he heard Darren start to say.
“Here’s your beer,” Rob interrupted, and handed Noel a cold one. He missed the remainder of the conversation, but he knew what he heard. Looking at the group, he saw Darren with a curly headed blonde in his arms. He presumed the woman was Elizabeth.
Their embrace had triggered the anger in him. His fist forming, Noel handed Rob his beer and wiped the condensation on his shirt. His eyes met Clara’s and she frowned.
“Where are you going?” Rob asked.
“I have to take care of something,” Noel mumbled. He pushed past Rob and broke through the circle, his eyes meeting Darren’s.
“Darren?” Noel asked.
“Yeah,” he replied, protectively putting Elizabeth behind him and stepping forward.
“Good to know!” Noel hissed as he threw his fist at Darren’s face, his knuckles connecting and instantly throbbing at the impact.
“Darren!” Elizabeth shrieked and bent down to him. Darren covered his eye. Noel’s knuckles pulsed in pain, and he was ready to aim again.
“Noel,” Clara said. Her hands alighted on his fist and she gently pried them out of its balled form, entwining them and bringing him back to reality. Clara removed her hands from his and brought them to his face, holding him until his anger subsided.
“Noel, it’s not worth it. Please don’t do anything else.” The party continued. The only people who noticed were the few around them. Noel moved his hands and held her wrists.
“I remember. I remember last night—all of it,” she whispered.
“Even the kiss?” he asked. Clara smiled and nodded.
“Yes,” she replied. Just that one word made his heart leap.
Clara kissed Noel’s forehead. “Please don’t do something stupid. Don’t be worse than him,” she reassured as her thumbs ran along his jawline.
“Okay. I won’t punch the bastard again,” he replied as he removed his hands off Clara’s wrist.
Stepping away from him, Clara turned and looked down at both Elizabeth and Darren.
“How long have you been with him?” Elizabeth asked. Noel watched as Clara balled her own fists. She never told him if she had confronted Elizabeth, but he knew she didn’t.
As much as he wanted Clara to hurt Elizabeth, he knew she would regret it. He took Clara’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.
“Don’t do it, Clara,” he said, hoping to talk sense into her. Both Darren and Elizabeth stood up and looked at Clara. He noticed tears fall down Clara’s cheeks.
“Why, Noel? You did.” Fear flashed in Elizabeth’s eyes as Darren took a step back, leaving Elizabeth to fend for herself.
Wrapping his arm around Clara’s waist, he held her for a moment. He bent down and whispered in her ear. “Please don’t hurt Elizabeth.”
“Why? She hurt me!” she softly cried.
“You don’t want to do it, Clara. Please,” he whispered to her.
“Give me a reason to stop!” She was looking for answers.
Noel took a deep breath. He let go of Clara’s waist and stepped in front of her. He placed both hands on her face and looked her in the eyes. The sadness and hurt were there.
“Elizabeth’s pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” she whispered in disbelief. Looking into Noel’s eyes, she saw the truth simmer through. Clara’s gaze fell to the floor, hoping the words would come to her. But she couldn’t stop the visions of discovering her ex-boyfriend and ex-friend together from appearing.
Clara stepped out of Noel’s embrace ready to have the confrontation she walked away from all those nights ago. She tried to compose herself and all the emotions she had bottled up. She would not let Darren think he broke her.
“How did you know?” she asked Noel, her gaze at her feet instead of his unnerving green eyes.
“I heard Darren and his friends talk about it,” he replied. There was no sugar coating, and she was thankful. She didn't need any distractions; she just needed the truth. Clara looked up as Elizabeth protectively wrapped her arms around her stomach. It was true, and knowing that she was pregnant didn’t make h
er angry; it was just another painful betrayal.
“You’re really pregnant?” Clara spoke her first words to Elizabeth in months.
“Yes,” Elizabeth whimpered.
That one word felt like acid being injected through her blood vessels. She could see just how scared Elizabeth was of her. As much as Clara wanted to harm Elizabeth, she was carrying an innocent baby in her body.
Looking down, Clara noticed Elizabeth’s small bump. Her head was already doing the math. She had caught them having sex two and a half months ago, but Clara knew there was a high possibility she was right. But she needed to know.
“How far are you?” Clara asked softly in an attempt to control her emotions.
“I—I…” Elizabeth stuttered, and looked away from Clara. Elizabeth glanced around for Darren’s support, but he stayed behind. There were quiet looks exchanged between the two of them.
Their silence gave her the answer she feared, but had to hear. She needed to know, because if she didn’t, she’d always wonder for the rest of her life.
“How far?” Clara yelled, losing her composure.
“F-fifteen weeks,” Elizabeth admitted. Clara took a few steps back, only to be supported by Noel's strong hands.
Pure anger filled her veins. Elizabeth knew what was coming as she seemed to brace herself for Clara’s unleash.
“Fifteen weeks!” Clara yelled in disbelief.
“I-I’m sorry, Clara.” Elizabeth’s voice was a soft mumble.
“Clara, are you okay?” Stevie shouted. Clara turned to see Stevie and Annie on the sidelines. Noel wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Since we’re sharing the happy news—Elizabeth's pregnant!” Clara announced, not caring whether it was a secret or not. Everyone had secrets when it came to her, and she was done. “She’s fifteen weeks,” Clara stated.
