by Len Webster
Noel stood there as he watched Alex stroke the back of Clara’s head and whisper in her ear. That should have been him. He should have been the one to hold her and reassure her, but it wasn’t. Clara didn’t look at him; instead she held her brother tightly. He tried to call to warn her, but she didn’t answer and she surprised them both by returning home early.
The anger in him seethed through his veins and the hate inside him reached every inch of his body. Noel clenched his fists to control the raw emotions that burned inside him. He told himself plenty of times that he and Clara would sort out the problem of Alex when it arose, and here Alex was and here Noel was, away from Clara.
“You all right now, Clara?” Alex stepped out of their embrace and rested his hands on Clara’s shoulders.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just so good to have you home, Alex.” Clara gave her brother a small smile before Alex kissed her forehead.
“I smell like cupcakes. I’m going to go shower. I’ll be back in a few,” Clara said, and turned for her bedroom. Her eyes never met Noel’s, and it hurt him that she couldn’t look his way. But he knew that they couldn’t exchange any significant looks, not if they wanted to keep them a secret from Alex.
It was hard. Harder than anything he had ever gone through. To watch Clara cry and to not be able to take away her pain was the worst kind of torture he had ever felt. Unclenching his fists, he walked to the fridge. He needed alcohol to numb the ache he was feeling.
Opening the stainless steel fridge, he took out two VBs and handed one to Alex. Noel uncapped the bottle and brought it to his mouth, chugging down most of the bitter beer. He needed something stronger, but he would have to settle for the beer. He walked over to the dining table and sat with Alex. To hold such a secret from his best friend was like slow, brutal torture. They never kept secrets from each other, not until Clara.
“How is she?” Alex asked as he stared at Clara’s bedroom door.
“What do you mean?”
“How is Clara? Be honest. Is she doing okay? You know since—” Noel didn’t need Alex to say more, but the thought of Darren sent Noel’s anger flying.
“Honestly, Clara seems good,” he replied as he, too, stared at Clara’s door. Last night she was happy. She had told him that she loved him, and now she couldn’t even look at him. Noel dug his left hand in his pocket and felt the note he woke up to.
I love you.
“Happy to hear it. I’m glad you came here for me. I really do appreciate what you’ve done, Noel,” Alex said. Noel looked Alex in the eye and smiled; he too was happy he came.
“Tell me about this girl,” Noel said in hopes of not talking about Clara. He needed to think about the best way to tell Alex, and he needed Clara by his side when they confessed their love.
“Her name’s Keira. She works at Fox Meadow Elementary in Scarsdale. She teaches music there a few days a week and tutors in Manhattan for some of the rich kids.” Alex smiled as he brought his beer to his lips and took a long sip.
“Here I thought you’d go back to your ex.”
“Trust me, Noel. Tori’s better off without me. She was always a nice girl, but I brought her down and we both knew that. Whereas Keira, there’s just something different about her. She makes me want things, like a future, and if that means moving to Scarsdale to be with her, then I’ll do it. Meeting her at that coffee shop and spilling my coffee on her was the best mistake I’ve ever made in my life.” The smile on Alex’s face was one Noel had never seen on his best friend. Alex was happy and that gave Noel a glimmer of hope.
“Scarsdale,” Noel breathed out. “Lucky you’re an accountant. That area isn’t cheap. Good thing she’s your forever girl.” Alex moved his beer aside and leaned in close.
“I’ve already put down a deposit for a house we found in Bramlee Heights just near the school. It’s a forty-five minute commute to the office, but I don’t mind. I know we normally discuss big life events together, Noel, but this one was an easy choice. It feels right with Keira. We move as soon as I finish visiting Clara,” Alex said softly.
“So you’re not coming home. You promised that you’d be moving back to Melbourne after New Year's,” Clara said, coming into the room.
Noel looked up to see tears brimming in Clara’s eyes. That’s when her gaze met his, and his heart tightened in such a way that it hurt to look at her. But he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Clara’s hair, still damp from her shower, soaked her grey T-shirt. She walked over to the dining table and sat on the end, next to both Alex and Noel.
Underneath the table and under the cover of the tablecloth, Noel took Clara’s hand. She squeezed his, and that one bit of reassurance mended the ache in his heart. He ran his thumbs over her knuckles and squeezed her hand slightly.
“I’m sorry, kiddo. I promised that, but I can’t make the same mistakes I did with Tori. Keira is special, and I’m not letting her get away. I hope you understand.” The hurt was obvious in Clara’s eyes. There were too many surprises in one day for Clara to comprehend, and Noel could see it taking its toll on her.
“I understand, Alex. I do. I’m happy for you.”
Clara’s hand tightened around Noel’s; she was anxious, and he could see her eyebrows meet in uncertainty. Alex smiled and stood up from his chair. Noel quickly pulled his hand away from Clara’s as Alex stood next to her.
“Thanks, Clara. I’m glad to hear it. I was scared you wouldn’t understand, but I can’t let her get away. You’ll love Scarsdale, and Keira can’t wait to meet you. I’m going to go have a nap. I haven’t slept properly in days, and that plane ride didn’t help. Wake me up a little later and we’ll go out to dinner, you and me. You don’t mind do you, Noel?” He shook his head. Alex placed a kiss on Clara’s head before walking to his room.
They both sat there as the minutes ticked by. Noel looked up to see silent tears slide down Clara’s face. The ache in his chest returned within him. He stood up and crouched next to her chair. Noel took her hands and pulled her to face him. He then cupped Clara’s face in his hands and leant his forehead on Clara’s.
“I love you,” he whispered. Clara placed her hand on his wrists.
“He’s home, Noel. I—I don’t know how we’re going to tell him.”
“Let him settle for a few days and then we’ll tell him.”
Clara’s warm tears hit his hands.
“We’re going to be okay, Clara. I promise you.” He brought Clara’s face closer to his, placed his lips on hers, and kissed her for dear life.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d be away from her touch. But he needed enough to last him until he could freely kiss the most beautiful pair of lips he had ever known. Each movement of her mouth sent shattering tremors straight to his heart. If he didn’t hold it together, he'd grab Clara by the hand, kick down Alex’s door, and just confess. He could feel the desperation and hurt in Clara’s kisses. He was scared to stop, and realised that it could ultimately be their last kiss. Clara removed her lips from his and ran her fingertips along his cheeks.
“I love you, too, always,” Clara whispered and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Noel mentally memorised the feeling of those words; he truly feared it would be last time he heard them again.
Noel stared at the ceiling. For the past two nights he slept alone in a bed that felt so foreign to him. There were times where he thought about sneaking into Clara’s room, but the idea of being caught and trying to explain was against him.
He was right, though. That kiss they shared when they were alone was their last. There were times where he wanted to pin Clara to the nearest wall and beg her to just kiss him and stop this torture. Being near her as she slept was something he missed. He missed being able to hold her body so close to his. He didn’t want to even think about what it was like not making love to her, having her naked body under his. That was self-inflicted tortured.
He missed being intimate with Clara and having her breathe out his name, and whisper that she loved him as she clo
sed her eyes to sleep. They acted like they were strangers in their own lives. Noel missed the way she’d breathe heavily in his ear and begged for him to make love to her. He was having withdrawals; he missed her every touch and it was driving him crazy. Noel threw the covers off his body and got out of bed. He walked over to the chest of drawers and took out a shirt, putting it on. Walking out of the room and into the kitchen, Noel found Alex in a pair of running shorts and a short-sleeved top.
“Mornin’,” Alex greeted.
“Hey,” Noel murmured as he took a seat on one of the bar stools.
“You’re just sunshine and fucking rainbows in the morning, aren’t you, Parker?”
“It’s eight o’clock in the morning, Alex. Get off my back.” He took out his anger and frustration on his best friend. He wanted Clara back in his arms.
“How’s Granny Parker?” Alex asked as he gave Noel a mug with fresh coffee in it. He had visited his gran twice since Alex returned. His days were filled with dullness since he stopped spending time with Clara. She had left her keys behind for him to use her car when she spent the day with Alex.
“She’s doing good.” Noel took a long sip of his coffee. It was hard to visit his gran, especially with her one hundred questions about Clara.
“You going for a run?” Noel asked as Alex set his sports watch.
“Yeah, I’ve been doing 10k every day that I can. Brutal on the legs, but I want to run the New York Marathon next year. Practice makes perfect,” Alex said as he jogged towards the front door. He stopped before turning and saying, “Max is hitting some new club with the boys, and we’re going with Clara and her friend. You coming?”
Noel shrugged knowing full well his reply was yes. Alex raised both eyebrows and said, “I’ll see you in an hour,” before running out the door.
I have an hour.
Getting off the bar stool, he walked to Clara’s bedroom door. He knocked lightly before opening the door.
“Clara.” He watched as Clara sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“Noel, what are you doing here? Alex will—” He climbed on her bed and sat in front of Clara, pulling her onto his lap.
“God, I’ve missed you,” Noel said as he tucked her loose hair behind her ear. A smile touched her lips and she wrapped her arms around Noel’s neck, bringing his body close to hers. A just-woken Clara was one of his favourite sights. Her hair a mess and her eyes still heavy from sleep. It was alluring.
“I’ve missed you, too. These past two days have been hell!”
“I know, baby, just a little longer and we’ll tell him,” Noel said.
Clara untangled her arms from his neck and placed both hands on his cheeks. She closed her eyes and breathed out a heavy sigh. For the first time in two days, he finally had her in his arms.
“I can’t do this, Noel. This is getting too hard. I’ve never done something like this before; not to Alex. I’ve gone from never lying to him to professionally stabbing him in the back. I can’t even look him in the eye and tell him good morning anymore. It hurts to lie and keep us a secret. It hurts to wake up alone without your arms wrapped around me. It’s killing me to have to pretend that I’m not in love with you, Noel. All I want to do is be with you and I can’t; it’s impossible to control myself when all I want is your touch and your voice when I go to sleep.” Tears started to brim her eyes and Noel laid her down until her back hit the mattress. He hovered over her, his heart burning and aching for her.
“I love you, and all I’ve wanted to do for the past two days was tell you. I couldn’t get you to myself, and I wanted to be selfish and rip you away from Alex. But he’s your brother and you need to spend to with him before this goes south.” Noel stroked Clara’s cheeks and placed a kiss over her faint mole. Moving down, he trailed kisses down her neck and collarbone. Clara let out a small moan before running her hands along Noel’s back.
Clara tugged at his shirt and he removed his lips off her skin just long enough for her to pull his shirt over his head. He cupped Clara’s face and captured her lips with his. The sensations of their first proper kiss in days driving his heart into an erratic rhythm and caused the need in him to grow. Clara’s legs tightened around his waist and her hips bucked against him. He let out a desperate groan and he knew he needed more. Noel removed his lips from hers and looked deep in her eyes. He was panting hard, and his heart threw itself against his chest. Clara’s chest rose and fell heavily and she propped herself on her elbows.
“Clara, we don’t have a lot of time. Alex is going to be back soon. If we are going to do this then it’s going to have to be quick. I’m sorry, baby, but I won’t last long, not after being left frustrated because I haven’t been able to touch you in the slightest in the last two days. This is going to be hard and fast. But just know that if circumstances were different I’d be making slow and passionate love to you. Are you okay with this?”
He could see the need in her golden-brown eyes flicker through. Clara didn’t answer. Instead, she placed her hands on the back of his neck and brought his lips down on hers. As he ran his hand up Clara’s thigh, her nails dug into his back. Noel let out a moan of pleasure. He took the hem of Clara’s purple tank top and lifted it over her head, breaking their kiss and leaving her bare-chested. He gave himself a moment to take in her breasts before he looked her in the eye.
“You need to get a lock on your door as soon as we finish because I can’t be away from you for another two days, Clara. And I don’t want any surprises when I finally have you alone.”
“We can concentrate on that later. Now kiss me, because we’re wasting time here,” Clara said as she placed both her palms on Noel’s cheeks, inching his lips closer to hers.
The instant feel of electricity consumed him at the touch of her lips. His hands trailed down her stomach and reached her shorts. A silent moan from Clara had him exploring her mouth, letting his tongue dance and softly stroke with hers as he let his need for her take over. Clara, feeling his eagerness, lifted her hips and Noel placed his fingers under the elastic of her shorts, pulling them down along with her underwear.
Her hands left his cheeks, ran down his back, and gripped his ass, bringing him close to her heat. The friction not enough and she bucked under him. Her heavy breathing was driving him over the edge.
“God, I need you, Noel,” she begged in his ear.
Her breathless words had him pulling his pants down and kicking them off. Positioning himself in between her legs, Noel looked at Clara as she licked her lips.
“We’re getting you a damn lock,” he groaned before slamming into her, hitting euphoria at the feel of her around him. Being inside her, Noel knew there was no other high quite like the one Clara could induce.
Clara’s soft breathing was a sound he was memorising. It was also a sound he missed hearing when he woke up each morning. Clara was spent. Every time he was intimate with her, he’d wanted it to be slow and pleasurable. This time it was simply frustration and raw passion controlling both their bodies.
Noel looked over Clara and at the clock on the bedside table to his left. Alex would be home in about twenty minutes, and he was still in Clara’s bed.
Clara’s left arm draped over his chest. Noel removed his right hand from behind his head and took her left hand in his. He ran his thumb over her knuckles once before stopping and resting his thumb on Clara’s ring finger. Looking down at her left hand, a new sensation filled his system.
When all this shit with Alex is behind us, it’ll be my ring on Clara’s finger.
That one thought shocked him, and it was like Alex had said. “When you know, you know,” Noel whispered out as he ran his thumb over Clara’s ring finger one more time.
He gently removed Clara’s arm from his body and slid out of her bed. He picked up his clothing as quietly as he could before he dressed himself. After putting his pyjama pants on, he pulled his top over his head and walked to the side of the bed Clara was sleeping on.
“I love you, and I intend
on one day marrying you, Clara,” he whispered in her ear. Clara didn’t stir. He took a moment to watch her as she peacefully slept. Come tomorrow, they’d be out. With or without Alex’s blessing, he knew they had a future.
A future where Clara had my surname and vowed to be my wife.
He smiled. Happy with the idea of their future entwined with each other. Noel bent down and kissed Clara’s forehead.
“It’s a promise I intend on never breaking,” he assured her and took sight of the Celtic knot on Clara’s locket. It seemed fitting that the “N” was engraved on her locket. Clara truly owned his heart, body, and soul. Noel reached out and ran his thumb over the engraved “N.” He smiled, got up and quietly left Clara’s room. He had a future to plan for. But first he had to message Clara.
Noel: I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. You look too beautiful to disturb. I love you.
When Alex returned from his run, Noel was busy in his room making phone calls. He was glad that Alex took Clara to their family home to pick up things that Alex wanted for his new home. Noel had several calls he needed to make and answer. Securing their future wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
He looked over at Clara and Alex at the other end of the club. It was Friday night, and they were attending a new club opening in South Melbourne. Clara was dressed in a soft, almost sunrise-coloured dress that hit just before her knees. Her curls flowed freely down her back and the need to wrap his arm around her waist was strong. He wanted to show all the horny bastards in the club that she was spoken for.
Stevie placed a drink in Clara’s hand and they walked towards him and Rob.
“I don’t think we’ve met,” Rob said towards Stevie.
“Stevie,” she shouted over the loud music. Noel looked over to see Rob’s eyes run down her body. Stevie was beautiful, but there was something to her that didn’t quite meet her tough exterior.
