by Amy Andrews
“I do want to kiss you, Holly. Very much.
“But nothing will change the fact that I’m fifteen years older than you and you want things I can’t give you.”
“And what would you do if I just kissed you?”
At the moment he’d probably kiss her back because she looked so small and fragile and feminine by firelight, and that appealed to him on levels he didn’t even know existed.
“It would be a mistake, Holly.” He hoped he sounded more convincing than he felt.
The fire seemed to crackle louder between them, the insects outside grew noisier as the silence inside the shelter stretched. To hell with him, she thought, and moved her lips a little closer to his.
24/7
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Feel the heat—every hour…every minute…every heartbeat
Mission: Mountain Rescue
Amy Andrews
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EPILOGUE
PROLOGUE
HOLLY briefly scanned the elegant room. Her eyes quickly assessing each male occupant. A glance at the creepy little man approaching fast made her search all the more desperate.
A man entered her peripheral vision and sauntered towards the bar. His short black hair, lightly streaked with grey was rumpled and his tie askew. He looked tired but there was an unmistakable air of authority about his tall erect frame. She felt a silly little flutter in the region of her heart. Richard.
‘There you are, darling.’ Her tone one of accusation. ‘We must have had our wires crossed. I’ve been waiting for you in the other bar.’
A frown furrowed his forehead. Holly launched herself into his arms and he grabbed her shoulders to steady her from the clumsy impact. She pressed a kiss against his lips and he felt his surprise give way to stupor.
His lips remained immobile. He wanted them to move. After all, it had been a long time since she had kissed him with such blatant appreciation. A whole month since she had kissed him at all. And, heaven knew, he’d missed it like crazy. But he seemed to have developed a short circuit between his brain and the nerves to his face. In fact, his entire face seemed to be stricken by some weird kind of palsy.
As she released his lips, he saw disappointment and accusation in her eyes and, despite knowing how pointless it was, he wanted to rectify it immediately. It was easy to figure out what was happening. Some guy was trying to hit on her and she needed him.
‘Sweetheart.’ He smiled a dazzling smile and pulled her to him again, giving her the kind of kiss he should have given her before. The kind of kiss that had made their tempestuous relationship so addictive. So hard to walk away from. When he pulled away they were both slightly out of breath.
Oh, man! She had missed his kiss. Holly stared at him and he stared back, a smile touching his full lips. She felt the familiar zing between them and her gut told her it couldn’t possibly be over.
Her pursuer cleared his throat and she dragged her eyes away from Richard. Time to ditch the Leech, who had suckered up to her half an hour ago and who she just couldn’t shake.
‘And who’s this darling?’
‘Oh, just some nice man who kept me company in the bar.’ She could afford to be gracious now. No need to hurt the Leech’s feelings altogether.
‘So, you really are meeting someone?’ His nasal voice crawled along her spine. ‘You must be Holly’s fiancé?’
‘That’s right,’ Holly supplied, quickly squeezing Richard’s hand, imploring him to play along and not blow her story. ‘Richard.’
She felt his hand tense in hers, his body still, his spine straighten, and he gave her a hard look.
‘Darling?’ She shoved him gently with her shoulder. Do this for me, just this one thing, her eyes begged him.
‘Er, hmm, yes.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Thanks for looking after my girl. You never know what predators are out there these days.’ And then he turned them around and walked her to the bar.
Holly sat down next to him and could feel his hostility. ‘Thank you, Richard. He was such a creep, he just wouldn’t take the hint.’
‘What are you doing here, Holly?’
Just like Richard to cut straight to the chase. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye.’
‘I thought we did that a month ago.’
‘Please, Richard,’ she pleaded. I will not cry. ‘You’re leaving for Africa tomorrow. Can’t we at least have a farewell drink?’
Richard sighed and looked into her lovely young face and the urge to leave the bar with her right away and say good bye properly was almost overwhelming. ‘Chardonnay, Pollyanna?’
Holly smiled despite the wretchedness wrought by the familiar nickname and memories of their first-ever meeting in this very bar two years before he swamped her. She had plonked herself next to him after a particularly horrible day at work and he had taken pity on her and offered to buy her a drink. She remembered it as if it had happened yesterday.
‘You sure you’re old enough to drink?’
‘Of course.’ She smiled. ‘Why? How old do you think I am?’
‘Twelve,’ he said, sipping at the froth on his beer, not even looking at her.
She giggled. ‘I’m twenty-one.’
‘Egad.’ He clapped his hand to his forehead theatrically. ‘All grown up.’
‘How old are you, then?’
‘Way older than that.’
‘Oh, come on, Methuselah.’ She nudged his arm. ‘Spill the beans.’
‘I’m thirty-six.’
‘Oh, no!’ she gasped, mimicking him. ‘Practically in your dotage.’ And she giggled again. ‘That’s only fifteen years’ difference.’
‘Forget it. I’m way too old for you, babycakes.’
‘Oh, pish!’
‘Pish?’ He shook his head. ‘Your parents should have named you Polly instead of Holly. Short for Pollyanna.’
Holly laughed, finding the idea outrageously funny.
‘I rest my case,’ he said derisively.
They sipped at their drinks for a few moments. ‘So, old man, what do you do?’
‘I’m a soldier.’
She whistled. ‘Impressive.’
‘Pollyanna.’ He rubbed his hands through his hair in exasperation. ‘How do you know I didn’t just tell you a big, fat lie?’
‘Why would you lie?’
He shrugged. ‘Get you into bed.’
She laughed again.
‘You can laugh. Lots of women want to sleep with men in uniform.’
‘Well, rest assured, Richard, I wouldn’t sleep with you because you were a soldier.’
‘Good for you.’ He raised his glass to her and took a swig.
‘I’d prefer to sleep with you because you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met.’
Richard swallowed his mouthful of beer hard and stared at her.
‘Sorry.’ She said, smiling, looking at his shocked face. ‘Not a very Pollyanna-like thing to say, huh?’
‘Not the Pollyanna I remember.’
‘Fiancé?’ he said after the barman had paced her drink in front of her and she had taken a sip.
Holly came back from the past. ‘Fiancé’s are always much more threatening than boyfriends.’ And a girl could dream, right?
They drank in silence for a few minutes.
‘You will be careful over there, wont yo
u?’ Holly felt nauseous every time she thought about him in the middle of a war zone.
‘It’s a UN humanitarian mission. It’s perfectly safe.’
His dismissal of her fears were typical. In retrospect he had always treated her as a bit of a kid, dismissing her opinions and telling her only what he’d thought she’d needed to know. Holly had known for a while that she wanted more. To be treated like an equal. Like an adult. To get married and start a family.
‘I’ve seen the television footage. It looks terrible.’
He took another mouthful of beer.
‘It’s not too late to back out,’ Holly said softly.
‘Yes, it is.’ He put his glass, down and turned to her. ‘And even if it wasn’t, I’d still be going. This is what I do, Holly. I put on my uniform and I go where and when my country tells me. These people need us. I can help them.’
‘And what about me? I need you, too.’
Richard felt her words go straight to his groin. She was incredibly appealing…too appealing. And she was also wrong. She didn’t need someone fifteen years older who was married to his job. She needed someone who had a joy and zest for life to match her own. She was twenty-three for heaven’s sake. She needed to get out in the world and explore it. See other countries, taste other cuisines, be with other men.
‘No. You need a direction in your life, Holly. A purpose.’
‘I did have a purpose in my life.’ I wanted to marry you and have your babies. Was that such an awful thing?
‘Other than me.’
‘You know me, Richard,’ she said sipping her wine, ‘I’ve always been a little between things.’
‘How nice for you,’ he said, his voice laced with derision. Her easy-come, easy-go attitude had always been at complete odds to his. In fact, in some perverse kind of way it was what had intrigued him. And irritated him the most. Nice to know he and his kind would keep her world safe while she was ‘between things’. ‘You want something to do? There’s a whole screwed-up world out there, Pollyanna. I’m sure you’ll find some way to decorate it.’
His dismissal of her rankled. ‘You always did think I was kind of frivolous, didn’t you?’
‘No, Holly,’ he sighed, rubbing his fingers through his hair, messing it further. ‘Look, I told you at the beginning this would never work.’
‘Because of my age?’
‘Yes, amongst other things. I am too old for you, Holly. We are at different stages in our lives. We’re too different.’
‘Would those other things have anything to do with your emotionally stunted upbringing? Or your unhealthy dependency on your job for validation of your life?’ She was trying not to be bitter.
When she said it like that it made him seem so emotionless. So cold. But he had warned her he wasn’t good at relationships. He’d had no yardstick in his life worth a damn.
‘I’ve always been up front with you, Holly.’
‘Please, Richard.’ She faced him and placed her hand on his. ‘Don’t shut me out. You’re going away? So go. I know I can’t stop you but I can be waiting here for you when you get back.’
He looked into her earnest face and thought how much he desperately wanted to take her up on it. Having Holly to come home to would be nice. But, face it, after the initial high of frenzied sexual activity wore off they’d be back at square one. Chemistry had never been their problem. She wanted things he wasn’t prepared to give. She needed to move on and he was not used to needing anyone.
He removed her hand. ‘We’ve been through this, Holly. Don’t make it harder than it is.’
Holly blinked hard and nodded. She wasn’t being fair. ‘Then take me home and make love to me one last time.’ Holly threw away her last shred of dignity, but she needed to be held by him now more than her next breath.
Richard swallowed hard. Being with Holly one last time sounded like heaven. But he knew once he started he wouldn’t want to stop, and he’d never want to get out of bed in the morning and leave.
And she’d look at him with those eyes and he’d feel terrible walking away from her. He didn’t need that, going to a war zone. He figured life in general would probably be pretty crappy for the next six months, even without a guilt trip from Holly. He’d made the break. He needed to keep it clean.
‘I can’t, Holly.’
Of course he couldn’t. Richard was an honourable man. Twenty-one years in the military had seen to that. Tears rose in her throat but she swallowed them. She’d laid herself bare enough today. She would not disgrace herself completely by sobbing over his shirt in a public bar.
He drained his beer glass and pushed himself off the stool. ‘Goodbye, Holly. Take care.’
‘Wait,’ she said, whipping the pen out of his shirt pocket and desperately scribbling on a bar napkin. ‘It’s my new number. Call me when you get back.’
‘No.’
‘Please?’ she asked, returning his pen to his pocket along with the napkin.
‘It’s over, Holly.’ He reached into his pocket, his fingers stilling as she placed her hand on his.
‘Please, Richard, keep it. Let at least part of me be close to your heart.’
He rolled his eyes at her girlish sentimentality but relented because he had been harsh, and he could see the shine of unshed tears she was bravely holding in check. ‘I won’t call you.’
‘Yes, you will.’ She sounded more confident than she felt. Surely after six months in a war zone he’d need a bit of female company?
‘No, Pollyanna.’ He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles gently. ‘I won’t.’
CHAPTER ONE
TWO years later…
Holly hadn’t expected this morning to be quite so gruelling. But then anything, even sitting and listening to a series of boring lectures was hard going in the stifling humidity of Tanrami. She felt her enthusiasm begin to wane.
She listened to the army officer drone on and let her eyes wander to the view outside their green tented shelter. The sides had been rolled up to allow as much air to circulate as possible, but still everyone seated around her were fanning themselves with the pages of written material they had been handed this morning.
She looked at the leaden sky hanging over Abeil, the capital, and wondered if it did actually rain, whether it would help or not. Hot she was used to, Australia was hot, but this? At the moment, unacclimatised, it felt like she’d moved to hell.
She couldn’t believe she was finally here. Her thoughts drifted to Richard, as they still too often did, and she couldn’t help but wonder what he’d have thought of her ending up in a sweltering, typhoon-ravaged country. He had so often accused her of frivolity…well, look at me now, Richard. Look at me now.
After his parting barb she had determinedly knuckled down to her nursing career, still smarting from his damning summation of her life. But it just hadn’t been fulfilling. Deep down she hadn’t felt like she had been making a difference in anyone’s life. Modern medicine was all so rush and hurry. So the opportunity to come here and really make a difference had appealed to her immensely.
Who could not be touched by the news reports night after night? The images of so many people killed or displaced, their homes and infrastructures totally destroyed, were heart-wrenching. Super-typhoon Rex had cut a path of destruction through the hundreds of islands in the group but Tanrami had borne the brunt. Their plight had called to her. She’d felt…compelled. There was no other way to describe it.
These were people who needed help and she wanted to be part of it. Maybe Tanrami was a place where she could finally get back to the basics of health care. Fundamentals like looking at the patient as a whole instead of a body part to be fixed. Embracing individual cultures and beliefs and understanding that sickness and illness were multi-factorial. And that you couldn’t afford to treat a patient in isolation to these factors.
The sky rumbled, interrupting her thoughts, and Holly wondered how much more moisture those black clouds could support. She yawned and sank
lower in her chair, shutting her eyes as she fanned herself. At least being seated right at the back she could snooze unobtrusively.
Another khaki-kitted boffin was introduced and started talking to them about more safety issues. Enough already, Holly wanted to stand up and bellow in an I’m-hot-and-bothered voice. It’s dangerous. We get it. There’s a civil war going on and there are rebels and landmines and diseases and mosquitoes. But we came anyway. We want to help. Just let us get to it.
They’d been briefed and briefed and briefed! It had been mandatory to attend lectures by the recruiting agency and the aid agency and the Foreign Affairs department before being allowed to depart, and now it had been made clear that in order to begin working they also had to attend the army briefing.
Most of the meetings dealt with the security situation in the country. She’d heard a thousand times about what dangerous criminals the rebels were. She’d heard it so much she almost felt sorry for them. In fact, she’d been following the political situation in Tanrami closely since deciding to volunteer. It seemed to her that the rebels were freedom fighters wanting to liberate their country from colonial roots.
Holly’s excitement at finally making it here was being tempered by the heat and the repetitive, boring lectures. She just wanted to get on with it. The process had been too long as it was, a flood of volunteers overwhelming Aid agencies. Everyone had wanted to do their bit. Even with her nursing background it had taken three long months to place her at the orphanage.
The speaker finished and there was a smattering of polite applause. Next up was a mosquito talk and Holly, her eyes still shut, swallowed the urge to scream. How long would that take?
Richard was thinking the same thing as he took the podium. How many of these things had he attended since his deployment here three months ago? He looked at his notes and wondered why he’d bothered bringing them. He could certainly give his spiel verbatim.
Not that he disagreed with briefings. In fact, a lot of civilian aid workers were totally green when they arrived and they needed to be briefed extensively. It was just that he had so much work on back at the lab.
