He was right. It had helped. He’s given me an opening to talk about my mom’s visit, but before I can say anything the phone alarm goes off.
I’m strangely calm as he compares the card to the corresponding information on the instructions. I can tell he goes over it a few times before he looks at me and grins. “It’s negative. You’re clean.”
I smile. “Don’t sound so surprised. I told you.” I am so elated.
Card still in hand, he hugs me. “I love you, Ryder. You know that, right?”
I smile against his shoulder as I hug him back. It feels amazing to have someone care so much about me…who loves me unconditionally. “Yeah, I know it…and I love you, too.”
“Come on, let’s tell the others.”
TWENTY-ONE
Ryder
The crowd at Gorge Days is crazy huge.
I can’t believe the sea of people.
It is without a doubt the largest venue we’d ever played at, and word has it that some big names in the business are in the audience.
In the past week, our band has practiced for up to eight hours at a time. We are a well-oiled machine and I feel like I have a second lease on life.
Since Deklan had shown my band mates the drug test results, not one of them had questioned me about my sobriety. I had done a good faith drug test just last night, wanting, and I suppose needing in my own way to show them again that I was clean, and that I was determined to stay that way.
That I was determined to be a part of this band. Today, I was going to give them all I had.
While Deklan and Curtis are messing with the amps on stage to prepare for our set, Brooke is pacing nervously back and forth backstage.
“You’ll kill it,” I say, and she comes up and gives me a big hug.
“I’m terrified.”
Brooke had never been a big talker, and I wasn’t necessarily either. I feel like I need to reassure her though.
“I know, but you’ve practiced for this day all your life.”
“You’ve heard who’s here?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know there are some heavy-hitters.”
“What if we fuck it up?”
I grin. “What if we don’t?”
She glances up at me with her big doe eyes. She is terrified.
“Play like there are no big talent scouts out there. Sing like you have done for every tiny college party we played at. Like you’ve done during every set in that fucking dungeon of a basement your boyfriend calls home.”
She laughs under her breath. “Remember when we’d bring friends home from school to critique us?”
“Yeah, we even gave them score cards.” I shake my head. “What a bunch of dumbasses we were.”
“It just showed our dedication,” Curtis says, coming up from behind us. He pulls Brooke away from me and into his arms. “Babe, you’ll be amazing. Quit jonesing.”
“Now I’d like to introduce to you a band from Vancouver, Washington!” the announcer says, and my nerves go into overload.
“At least they got our hometown right. They usually always say Portland,” Brooke murmurs. Even now she can find something to complain about. I just have to smile, and oddly, I feel a strange desire to laugh.
I keep my cool about me though, reminding myself yet again how important the next thirty minutes is for us.
“Shhh.” Curtis places a finger to her lips and Brooke playfully bites him.
“Without further ado, may I present The Frozen!” the announcer says.
The crowd comes back with a welcoming roar that sets my blood on fire.
“Let’s go,” Curtis says, already heading for the stage.
I hang back for a second. My heart pounds hard against my chest. I’m going out on that stage and I will play my heart out, not so much for myself, but for my band and for the people who trust me with their futures enough to give me another chance.
A hand slides around my shoulder. “You ready?”
I glance at Deklan. His green eyes are bright, shining with hope. He’d put this band together four years ago and he’d poured his heart and soul into it. “I am. You?”
“Definitely.”
“Hey, thanks for everything, Dek. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He grips my hand and we do our dorky handshake that we started as kids. Spreading his palm out, he displays the scar there. I do the same, and the matching white line reminds us of our bond. We had been kids when we’d cut each other’s palms with the jackknife my grandpa had given me when I was seven. Blood brothers. We had vowed to each other years ago that we would always have each other’s back, no matter what.
Deklan had proven true to his word. Time would never change that.
A whistle rents the air, and Deklan smiles. “Curtis’s cue to get our asses out on stage.”
“We are Kings,” I say. The words were the phrase that Deklan and I had come up with to gain entry to our tree fort when we were kids. I don’t think I had uttered those words since the tree fort had burned down the summer of my eighth grade year.
Deklan’s lips quirk. He nods and gives me another quick hug. “We are Kings.”
Ange
The energy of the crowd is electric.
Kenzie and I stand in the front of the enormous crowd, hoping that the bodyguards standing in front of us would offer some kind of protection against the crazy-ass crowd behind us.
I’m so nervous for the band I feel like I might hurl. I know Kenzie is the same way. Her hand is locked in my own.
Already people are jumping up and down yelling, “The Frozen, The Frozen, The Frozen.”
The second Brooke and Curtis step out on stage, the crowd yells their approval.
Kenzie finally drops my hand and we both join in on the applause.
A minute goes by and still no Ryder and Deklan.
Curtis whistles, and a moment later Ryder and Deklan appear on stage.
The women in the crowd whistle and scream their approval. Kenzie and I look at each other and share a smile.
I don’t know how my friend does it. I’m jealous and want to let everyone in the crowd know that I have a special relationship with this band, particularly the smoking hot bass player.
“Look at him,” Kenzie says in approval of her man.
Deklan isn’t wearing a shirt and his insanely shredded body looks amazing in low-riding dark jeans with the band of his boxers peeking out. He said he wanted to wear a sleeveless t-shirt at least, but Brooke, Kenzie, and I convinced him it would be good for the band if he showed his assets.
We listened to him yammer on for minutes about the quality of their playing and not having to fall back on anything other than their talent.
We all agreed with him and then hid his shirts.
Ryder is wearing a button-down sleeveless black shirt that looks amazing. He’s also wearing the skinny ass black jeans that I’d made fun of before when he’d told me about them, but I now completely understand the appeal. They left nothing to the imagination and were borderline obscene.
I love it.
Leather bracelets, dog-tag necklaces, and motorcycle boots complete the ensemble.
And in typical Ryder fashion, he plays the audience with style.
The crowd sings to the lyrics and I can see the joy in the band members’ faces to have so many people know their song and sing them word for word. Kenzie and I sing right along with them. This is a moment in my life I know I will never forget, even when I am old. The Frozen sings five songs in total—one a new tune that Deklan had written for Kenzie.
We both cry our eyes out as Deklan’s thoughts and feelings toward Kenzie were sung for everyone to hear. Brooke belts out the chorus, singing, “You’ve given me a reason for living. You’re my peace, my so
ul, my everything. You’re my peace, my soul, my everything.”
I squeezed my friend’s hand. I am grateful. Grateful she had brought me to Vancouver to spend the summer with her. Grateful that she had trusted me enough to share her fears with me, and grateful that she had introduced me to this beautiful group of people who I otherwise would have never had the opportunity to meet. I would have continued to be terrified of such experiences instead of throwing myself headfirst into just being and enjoying them for who they were…normal, flawed people who loved deeply, cared deeply, and made mistakes.
I will never look at the world the same way again.
The performance is flawless. They are pros, and they know they’ve done well when they take their final bow to thunderous applause and roars.
I give Kenzie a hug, and we make our way through the crowd toward the VIP area, to the area where huge white tents have been set up for the performers. Deklan, Ryder, Brooke, and Curtis have their backs to us. All are drinking water and sports drinks. We rush their way but stop when we notice the tall man with them. He wears a Rolex and designer clothing and looks like someone important. Deklan is doing most of the talking as the rest of the band just smile and nod their heads.
“Oh my God, do you think that’s a scout?” Kenzie asks, her eyes huge.
I look at her and smile. “Yeah, I do.”
TWENTY-TWO
Two months later…
I’d been called down to the school office fifteen minutes before the final bell rings. A thousand different scenarios are racing through my mind. My parents have never pulled me out early. Ever. I have to wonder what has happened. I check my phone. There are no messages.
I pull open the large wooden door that leads to the main office, a place that looks more like a posh hotel waiting room than a school reception area.
Sister Francis, a bird-faced nun, is sitting behind an oak desk. Seeing me, she approaches the main counter. “Your cousin is here for you, Angela. He’s waiting in the parking lot.”
“My cousin?”
“Yes, your cousin Joshua.”
My stomach tightens. I readjust the strap of my backpack and break eye contact. Sister Francis can pull a lie out of anyone, and she knows a fib when she sees it. Her narrowed eyes says she suspects Joshua is not a relative, and she’s waiting for me to choke and tell her as much.
“I took the liberty of phoning your house. Although your mother was not available, your sister validated that she knew Joshua was coming to get you and that she would take responsibility should your parents question him about getting you out early.”
It had to have been Stephanie. She had graduated from St. Catherine’s last year and was at her first year in Pepperdine. She’d only been in college for a year and apparently was having a tough time cutting the cord because she came home every single weekend to stay with us.
Stephanie also knows how much I love Ryder. I’m crazy, head-over-heels in love with the gorgeous bad boy rocker. We had grown even closer since I had left Vancouver. We video chat every single day, texted when we didn’t call, and some of those texts had gotten pretty sexy.
Sister Francis clears her throat loudly. “Carl is waiting to escort you.”
“Okay, I’m ready.”
If it wasn’t for Carl, one of the school’s security guards, I would run, but I’m forced to maintain control and keep pace with him.
It’s been almost two months since I’ve seen Ryder in the flesh. The entire band was in Los Angeles to record their first CD with their new label.
The label they had signed on with at Gorge Days. I’ll never forget the elation on the band’s faces when Kenzie and I approached them after the concert when the well-dressed guy who had been talking to them had walked off.
They had kept their cool for all of two seconds. I smile, remembering how Ryder had lifted me and nearly crushed my ribs with the hug I’d received.
I still couldn’t believe the whirlwind that had happened after that. Studio time, practice, studio time again, promotional appearances on local radio stations. The first time I heard their song on the radio, I pulled over and screamed. I had such an intense sense of pride for these four individuals who had taught me so much about life and living over the summer.
God, I had missed them.
Every last one of them, especially one band member in particular.
My eyes lock with the tall, dark-haired guy dressed all in black who is standing beside a classic muscle car. In one of our many conversations about his parents, Ryder had mentioned how his dad had to sell a ‘69 Camaro because Ryder’s mom had gotten pregnant with him and they’d needed the money to buy their first home. Ryder had said that one day he would buy the car back for his dad as a surprise.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t ask Ryder about his parents. He called his dad when The Frozen had signed a recording contract and his dad had been genuinely happy for him, but his mom had managed to spoil the moment by telling him he needed to continue his education, because he would need his smarts to fall back on if the music thing failed.
I had always been brought up with the understanding that college was a necessity, especially in today’s world, and I wanted to attend college…but I really wanted to go to Vancouver. I felt at home in Vancouver, and my friends were in Vancouver.
And Ryder was in Vancouver.
But now he is here, I think…and the closer I get to my boyfriend, the more nervous I become. His hair is even longer than when I’d left Vancouver, and my fingers are itching to dig into those waves.
Carl and I stop at the little security hut, where I sign out and Carl notes the time. He walks me toward Ryder, who meets us halfway.
“You kids be safe, alright?” Carl says.
Both Ryder and I reply, “We will.”
Ryder’s gaze shifts over me slowly. “I love the schoolgirl plaid. Makes me think of all the naughty things I can do to you.”
I laugh nervously. Of course he liked the uniform. Most guys did.
He stares at me like I was his favorite flavor of ice cream. I will never get tired of that look.
“I dunno if I dare get into a car with you. I don’t know what might happen.”
“What are you afraid of?”
I swallow past the lump in my throat and look into his beautiful blue eyes. He’s so gorgeous, he makes my heart hurt, and I’m reminded yet again of how much I have missed him. “I’m afraid that I might lose control.”
He’s on me in two seconds, pulling me close and giving me a long kiss. I melt into him as his hands move over my hips to my butt.
In the distance I hear girlish squeals. I can’t help it. I smile against his lips.
I look over my shoulder and the girls from Sister Diane’s physical education class are waving at us and cheering before the nun motions them into the building.
He flashes a devilish smile. “I told them I was your cousin, you know…so you’ll have some explaining to do come Monday.”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks,” I say, and I realize for the first time in my life I don’t care. This is right. What I feel is right, and I don’t question it.
“Come on,” he says with a wink. “I have plans for us.”
I get into the car and buckle myself in.
“How are you doing?” I ask, and he lifts my hand and places a kiss on my fingers. It’s a sweet gesture, and one I feel all the way to my soul. Everything I’ve ever heard about Joshua Ryder goes against the Joshua Ryder I know, the man who has told me his fears and his weaknesses. Maybe that’s the difference. This is a different man—one who is a recovering addict who doesn’t take his life for granted any longer. He’s imperfect, and what I love most about him is that he’s not afraid to poke fun at himself, or to admit his mistakes.
“My mom called m
e last night.”
I lift my brows. “What did she say?”
“She wished me good luck on our trip and told me that she was proud of me.”
He glances at me and grins. There is a light in his eyes I have never seen and it makes me smile.
“That was huge for me, you know? I don’t think she’s ever said those words to me before. She even said she wanted to see us perform.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say, squeezing his hand.
His fingers thread through mine. “We’re going to get together for dinner when I return to Vancouver. I can’t wait to see my brother.”
“I bet he can’t wait either.” I was thrilled for Ryder, but I didn’t want to be reminded of his leaving when he had only just arrived in San Diego.
He pulls into the parking lot of a well-known upscale hotel.
“Are you trying to impress me?” I ask as he pulls into a spot far away from the other cars.
“Is it working?” he asks, flashing that boyish smile that I love.
I would have been happy at a run-down motel. I just want to be with him. “Definitely.”
There’s a heavy-lidded look to his eyes that has me a little nervous and excited at the same time. “Where’s Kenzie?” I blurt out.
“At the beach with Deklan, Brooke, and Curtis. Trust me, she wanted to come with me to pick you up, but I told her I wanted some time alone with you.”
My heart starts racing.
“Are you afraid, Ange?” he asks, his voice husky as he opens my car door.
I step out and I look right at him. “No, not at all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months.”
Instead of a reply, I get lifted from the seat and then we’re walking through the hotel lobby and into the elevator.
He pulls me against him and we’re making out again.
By the time the elevator doors open, I’m flushed and more than a little turned on.
Ryder's Redemption (Badboy Rockers #2) Page 17
