“Depends on what kind of ride you’re talking about.”
Miles’s eyes turned dark, and I nearly choked on my own tongue. Where in the hell did that come from and why did I make it sound so sexual?
“What kind are you talking about?” he asked in a low, seductive voice.
I fought the urge to tell him the sexual kind was exactly what I was interested in. It had been three long years, obviously. Instead, I took a steady breath and did the opposite. “Horseback riding. I think it would give us the time we need to talk, without interruption.”
He gave me a nod like he agreed, but then asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Us. This thing that is going on between us or not going on between us. I honestly have no idea anymore.”
“This thing?” he asked with a smug expression, wanting me to elaborate and not giving me an inch.
“Miles, you’ve got my head spinning in a million different directions. I want to be angry with you, but then you go off and plan these dates, and in the back of my mind there’s a little voice telling me you’re only doing it because I said I wanted to date, and for some reason you need me to marry you and you obviously aren’t willing to tell me the truth.”
“Why can’t you believe I enjoy being with you, Kyns? That I honestly want to be with you? It’s always been you, Kyns.”
I pointed to him. “See! Like that. What in the fuck is that all about?”
Miles drew his brows in and stared like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. I was so confused, and this was not a feeling I enjoyed at all. I prided myself on being in control of things, including my emotions. Ever since Miles walked back into my world everything had been turned upside down, and my every thought seemed to revolve around this man.
“Are you drunk or something?” he asked, leaning in and attempting to smell my breath.
I pushed him away and shook my head. “No, I’m not drunk. I’m confused, and I don’t like being confused.” Any moment and I was going to stomp my foot and really act like a damn child.
“Okay. So you want to talk about being confused. What are you confused about?”
I shot him a dirty look and went to lay into him when the door to the Mercantile chimed, and Mrs. Whitaker walked in. She was not the person I wanted to see at the moment. She was noisy, demanding, and a known gossiper. Her eyes nearly lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw us.
“Well, if it isn’t the two people the whole town is talking about.”
That made Miles take notice, while I softly let out a groan.
With that breathtaking smile, he greeted her in his charming southern way that was beginning to agitate the ever-living hell out of me. “Morning, Mrs. Whitaker. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing wonderful, Miles. It’s good to have you back in town. Thank you, son, for your service.”
He tipped his cowboy hat to her. “Thank you, ma’am.”
My heart jumped at the gesture. Emotions, all over the place.
“You sure stayed away long enough.”
He gave her a polite smile. “Serving my country and keeping my country safe, ma’am.”
“Is there anything I can help you with this morning?” I asked, walking around the counter.
“Yes, I’m needing some of that local honey your momma gets in from the bee keeper down yonder.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, we don’t have any and won’t for another week or so.” It was the same thing my mother had told her yesterday when she came in asking for the honey.
With a slight laugh, she waved her hand, dismissing that conversation with a flick of her wrist. “Well, truth be told, I saw Miles coming in, and I thought maybe I could catch the two of you together.”
“Why?” Miles and I asked at the same time.
“Rumor has it y’all are engaged.”
“Who told you that?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“Well, everyone knows the two of you have always been stuck together like glue. It was bound to happen with you going out on all those dates.”
My eyes widened. “We’ve been on two dates. That’s it.”
“How does everyone know how many dates we’ve been on?” Miles asked.
I leaned in and said, “Small town, remember?”
He sighed.
Mrs. Whitaker let her eyes drift down to my stomach, then over to Miles. “Folks seen your momma talking to Preacher Harris, Miles. She was overheard talking about something being rushed.”
I jerked my head to look at Miles, but his face was void of all emotions.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mrs. Whitaker,” Miles finally said. “And what my momma is talking to the preacher about ought to be kept private. Wouldn’t you agree that the Good Lord would want it that way?”
I swung my gaze back to Mrs. Whitaker.
She waved him off like she had done to me moments earlier. “Come on, kids. I’m hip with the times. I know how y’all are now. How y’all do things and all.”
I frowned. “How we are? What does that even mean?”
Looking around the store, she leaned in closer, causing Miles and me to do to the same. “I know kids in your generation have the sexual intercourse before the wedding vows. If you didn’t wrap it before you tapped it, accidents happen, and it’s still a small town. News is bound to come out in a matter of time.”
I nearly fell on my ass as I jumped away from the woman. Miles, on the other hand, seemed to sway a little as he covered his mouth. Neither one of us were prepared for the shock of hearing a seventy-year-old woman refer to sex as tapping it or mentioning a condom for said tapping. After all, this was the woman who taught us in Sunday school when we were ten years old.
“Did I hear you say…” Miles’s voice trailed off.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Mrs. Whitaker, let me clear up something right now. I am not pregnant. You actually have to have sex to get pregnant.”
“And there has been no tapping with us. Well, not in the last five years, anyway.”
“Miles!” I shouted as I hit him on the chest. “Not helping!”
The bastard actually winked before focusing back on Mrs. Whitaker. “Sorry, sorry. Mrs. Whitaker, as you can imagine, Kynslee and I have some catching up to do. Yes, we’re dating, but let me also say that there is no bun in the oven.”
I tried not to show how much his declaration that we were dating shocked me—and made me feel slightly giddy, which pissed me off. Again. This was becoming a normal cycle with me. Just like my period, my emotions were like clockwork. See Miles. Get horny. Miles opens his mouth, get mad. Miles does something sweet, swoon. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
“Well, we all know how heartbroken Kynslee was when you left to join the Marines. Then her attempt at moving on with Jack didn’t work. So here we are now.”
I nearly choked on my own tongue.
“Excuse me, I was not heartbroken, and I simply did not want to marry Jack. We broke up. Why is that so hard for everyone to believe?”
The old woman tilted her head and slowly shook it. “Because you were still in love with Miles. Jack told his momma you had never truly given yourself to him. That the ghost of another man haunted your soul and refused to let you find happiness. Whispers around town said it caused problems in the bedroom.”
“What in the living fuck?” I mumbled as Miles made a strange sound while attempting not to laugh.
“I haunted your soul, huh? Ghost in the bedroom, was I?” Miles smirked.
Glaring at him, I forced a smile. It was time to get this woman out of here and on her way with the correct information.
“A true southern belle does not curse like that, Kynslee. No wonder you’re still single.”
“She has quite the potty mouth, hasn’t she?” Miles interjected.
I laughed in frustration. “Now I’m single because I curse? Seconds ago it was because I was madly in love with Miles, and before that we were on the way to walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven. So whic
h is it? Inquiring minds want the truth.”
“And you couldn’t move on since I was haunting your soul. Don’t forget that one,” Miles added.
“Shut up!” I balled my fists. “My soul has never been haunted, I was not heartbroken when you left, and Jack and I simply were not a match, that’s it. I’m not pregnant, and I am most certainly not getting married anytime soon!”
Mrs. Whitaker shook her head in disappointment. “Well, this is a letdown.” She spun on her low black heels and headed to the door as she called out, “I’ll be back in tomorrow to check on that honey!”
The moment the door shut, I let out a loud frustrated scream.
“Kyns, you really need to accept the facts. We’re getting married…someday.”
Facing Miles, I opened my mouth to speak, then clamped it shut. Everything seemed to move in on me at once. The moment I felt the first tear fall, I wanted to run. Miles frowned and reached out for me.
“Don’t! Don’t touch me, Miles. Not right now. Please.”
“Hey, I’m just playing around, getting you worked up. Please don’t cry.” He dropped his hand and looked down at the floor before looking back up at me.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this to me,” I said.
“Doing what?” he asked.
My chin wobbled, and I felt like I was eighteen again. Standing there trying to figure out how to tell this man I loved him and not simply as a best friend. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, together. As a couple. Maybe a family.
Oh God, this isn’t happening to me. It’s all just a bad dream.
Just like back then, he stood before me clueless. He didn’t love me the way I needed to be loved. He didn’t need me in his life the same way I desired to be in his. I was simply someone he needed for whatever screwed-up reason. He didn’t even care enough to tell me why he needed me to marry him.
Exhaustion hit me, and I turned away from him.
“Where are you going?” he asked, following me around the counter.
“Home. I’m going home, Miles.”
“I thought we were going for a ride.”
My eyes lifted to meet his concerned gaze. “If you just need a bride, why didn’t you ask some girl you hooked up with in the past? I’m sure they’d be happy to play pretend house with you.”
He opened his mouth to speak, then shut it quickly.
I forced myself to smile slightly. “Maybe you have, and they said no, too.”
“I haven’t, Kynslee. I don’t need a bride. Stop making it seem that way. It’s just complicated, and I keep fucking it up every time I turn around. There is no damn hidden reason why I want to marry you. We made a promise and—”
And there went the last twist of the knife. I felt sick and all I wanted to do was run. Instead, I lifted my chin and put up my hand, stopping him from speaking.
“Fuck the promise, Miles! Forget it! If you can’t even take a chance to do this the right way, if you need to pull some bullshit card you had from when were eighteen because you don’t think I’m worth the effort, then we were never meant for anything other than friendship.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I wanted this to happen differently, Kyns. You have to know that. I’m fucking trying here, but you even doubt that. What in the hell do you want me to do?”
“Nothing, Miles. I’m tired of this game. I don’t want anything from you.”
“Goddamn it, will you stop for a minute. Let’s just go on the ride, and we can talk through this.”
“The time for talking is over, Miles. I’m done with all of this. You want a wedding, fine. I’ll give you your damn wedding. Use it for whatever reason you need and once you’re done with the fake marriage, we go our separate ways.”
A horrified look moved over his face. “Kynslee, I just told you, we don’t have to get married if you’re not ready. If you would just give me a chance to…”
The door chimed again, and my father walked in.
“Hey, kids, how is it going?”
I grabbed my keys under the counter and headed to the back. “I’m leaving for the rest of the day, Dad. If you need me, I’ll be working from home. You can call me on my cell.”
“Kynslee! Wait. Will you just wait a second!” Miles called out.
Keeping my sobs at bay, I rushed through the back and out to my car. I expected to see Miles come running after me, but he didn’t. He’d let me go. Again. Why that hurt so much, I had no idea. I should have been used to it by now.
Kynslee
MY PHONE VIBRATED on the table.
Miles.
I turned it over and focused back on the handsome guy sitting across from me. I had let Heather talk me into going out tonight when all I wanted to do was climb into bed and cry. Miles had never showed up at my house the day I walked out of the store. He hadn’t tried to see me over the last week. He’d called, but he didn’t bother to come see me for that talk.
Jerk.
I wasn’t worth it, and so he had managed to hurt me once again.
“Remind me why you’re here in town?” I asked, trying not to let my nerves get rattled by Miles Warner calling me while I talked with this guy I didn’t really want to be talking to.
“I’m on a deer lease right outside of town. We’re here ready to shoot us some whitetail.”
I smiled. The guy had dark hair and warm chocolate eyes. The kind a girl could get lost in. If only I wanted to get lost in them.
“Girls’ night out, huh?” the stranger asked.
“My best friend Heather had a vision that she was going to meet the one tonight and dragged me out with her.”
He smiled, and I found that I liked his smile. Maybe all I needed was one night of meaningless sex. A way to get Miles out of my head and give my poor neglected body a reprieve from the hell of the last three years or so. I missed a man’s touch. The feel of a body moving over mine, bringing out pleasure that my vibrator just couldn’t manage.
“What about you, what are you looking for?” he asked.
Cheesy line, but he was cute, so I’d let it slip. “Your name would be a great place to start.”
His laugh made him even sexier. Not Miles-level sexy, but sexy, nonetheless. “Steve.”
“Steve,” I repeated slowly. My father’s name. No way in hell I could sleep with a guy and call out my dad’s name. Fabulous. Wonder if he wouldn’t mind going by his middle name?
My phone vibrated again, and I sighed. It was hard not to think of Miles. He’d been calling me damn near non-stop for the last couple of days. Somehow, I’d managed to avoid him at the store. Keeping myself locked in my office or working from home had allowed me to avoid and ignore.
“Someone wants to get a hold of you,” Steve-not-my-dad said.
I reached my hand across the table. “Kynslee is my name. It’s a pleasure meeting you.”
His eyes turned slightly dark at the hint of seduction in my voice. If Heather was going to hook up with this guy’s best friend tonight, then I was going to jump in on that action. It was perfect. They weren’t local, I would maybe run into them once or twice during hunting season, but not likely if they kept to the ranch they leased out. I could have a night of pure fun and then not feel the pressure of something more.
“You, too, Kynslee. I like that name. It’s beautiful.”
“Sounds beautiful coming from your lips.”
Steve’s smile grew bigger. Sweet Jesus, tonight I was going to get lucky and finally be able to push Miles from my thoughts.
“So, do you have a middle name?” I asked. Steve laughed like I was kidding, then looked at me seriously.
“Wait, you’re serious?”
“Yeah, my dad’s name is Steve.”
He laughed. But before he could tell me his middle name, I heard another voice. A very familiar voice. The very voice I’d been trying to rid my mind of by being here tonight.
“Well, well, fancy meeting you here.”
A thrill rushed through my en
tire body and heat filled my cheeks. Then came the anger. Cycle. Remember? Miles was about to cockblock me.
I lifted my eyes to find Miles standing there. My heartbeat picked up slightly. He was dressed in jeans, a button-up white shirt, his signature black cowboy hat, and favorite pair of cowboy boots. Miles glared at Steve and reached out for his hand.
“Miles Warner, nice to meet you. Not sure if Kynslee told you but we are dating.”
I nearly fell out of the seat. I thought Steve was going to run for the exit. Instead, he adjusted in his seat and looked at me, one brow raised.
“Okay, well, I didn’t see that coming. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve, um, got to use the restroom. It was nice meeting you.”
Steve gave Miles a quick nod before practically sprinting across the bar. With a sigh, I leaned back in the chair and folded my arms over my chest.
“What in the hell was that about?” I snapped.
“You didn’t deny we were dating when I told Mrs. Whitaker, so I took that as a sign that we were dating. I’m pretty sure it would be frowned upon if you were screwing some stranger when you’ve promised yourself to another man.”
I wanted to stand up and kill him. Instead, I closed my eyes and told myself life in prison would probably really upset my parents. I smiled by best smile and looked up at Miles.
“Well, you didn’t seem too concerned about talking, or I would have thought you’d come over. You know, so we could talk.”
“If you would answer my phone calls, you’d have known Bob needed help because Lana ended up getting a fever from an infection. That’s why I wasn’t able to make my way over to your place. And I would have gone after you when you left The Mercantile, but your father laid into me about how he was tired of me hurting his daughter and that I needed to let you go if I had ever cared about you.”
“Wait. What?” I said, feeling like a fool and a complete bitch at the same time. When did I start acting like this? Damn Miles for throwing me off my game ever since he came back home.
“My father said what? Is Lana okay?” I asked. Before he could answer, we were interrupted yet again.
“Hey there, Miles!” Heather said, her buzzed state evident as she wobbled. Steve’s friend was by her side, holding her with one arm. I stared at her in shock. How had she gotten so drunk so fast?
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