***
The next morning when Abby checked her messages, it had been Rob. He had sent a text, inviting her to dinner that weekend with him and Ruth. Maybe Trina had put him up to it. She could use the company, but not right away. In her reply, she told them she would love to, if he didn’t mind waiting a few weeks. She needed to bring her spirits up before facing anyone in a social setting.
Chapter Eight
ANDREW sat up in bed suddenly. It was late at night. He was back in San Francisco to deliver another guest lecture the next morning. He had awoken from yet another nightmare. A cocoon of covers lay bundled from his waist down. He was drenched in sweat and panting. He had not had a dream with such intensity for over a year.
He got up and walked to the kitchen in his suite. Taking a bottle of water from the fridge, he walked back to his room and sat on the side of the bed. It was so vivid, he almost felt the nightmare had not ended. He drank the entire bottle and stretched out in the bed again, but his mind was fired up from the nightmare. He sat up again after a few minutes. There was no way he could go back to sleep after that. Images of Emma’s face kept surfacing.
Unable to let his animal out in this city, he got up and dressed, deciding he would take a drive and clear his head. It had been ages since he had driven around San Francisco on his own. Tonight, feeling the air through his hair and the roar of an engine beneath him would have to do. The hotel concierge confirmed by phone that his father’s Lamborghini was still parked in the garage. He told them to have the valet bring it out and went down to the lobby. Soft operatic music played in the background. It was beautifully dull, and tragic. All his senses seemed hyper-aware tonight. He walked out to the front of the hotel, got in the driver seat, started the car, and revved it before driving away.
When he was out on the open road, he peeled off, fishtailing as the car sped up the street. The streetlights flashed by him as he drove to the nearest on-ramp to the highway. He drove quickly, but not fast enough to get into any trouble. He just needed to breathe again, to feel his pulse race, now that he was closer to letting go of Abby.
He exited Highway eighty and turned north on the Pacific Highway to enjoy the ocean view. Or try to, anyway. There wasn’t much enjoyment to be had. Everything around him seemed muted and gray and dull, as though the life had been drained from him and his surroundings. That was his new and less-than-shiny perspective. Thousands of street lights sparkled in his periphery as he drove, until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. When he did, he braked so hard, the tires screeched before coming to a jarring stop.
He looked to the left, toward the ocean. There were two joggers running up the boardwalk, moving in synchronicity, and with such grace, such togetherness. He wasn’t sure why they caught his attention, or why he had stopped to watch them. Perhaps because it was the middle of the night. Surely they were out training for something. He took a moment to catch his breath. It was his animal, begging to be let out. That was not going to happen tonight, unfortunately. Not in the middle of this urban center.
God, he missed Abby terribly.
Remembering he had a meeting with Professor Sansbury in the morning, he started the car, turned it around, intent on going back to the hotel. Somehow, he ended up in the parking lot at Abby’s place. If he had been looking to feel his heart race, it sure happened there. He could barely breathe, his hands shook, and his throat tightened.
He struggled to come up with what he could ever say to make up for how he had treated her this past two weeks. He didn’t dare go up to her door. Not at this hour, and certainly not after cutting ties the way he had done. He sat in the car and looked toward her unit. All the lights were off. At least he didn’t cause her any loss of sleep. Sighing, he started the car and left.
Back in his room, he stood at the door and looked around. He tried to busy his mind, and not have it invaded by Abby. There was more space than he or his dad, or any of their guests would ever need. He looked at the baby grand piano in the corner of the living room. Neither he nor his dad played. He wondered why his father had the hotel keep it as part of the décor. He had no idea why he only just noticed it.
He walked to the fully stocked bar in the far corner of the room. He placed a glass on the counter and looked through the bar fridge. Whiskey could help. Except he hated drinking alone. He put the bottle back in the fridge without pouring a drop, and went back to his bedroom. He undressed to his boxers again and got into bed.
***
The sun blazed through the windows when Andrew woke up the next morning. The time on the bedside clock told him he had barely slept. He picked himself up and got dressed to hit the gym down on the main floor. After his workout, he headed back to his suite and had a shower. His meeting with Sansbury was scheduled for ten that morning, and his guest lecture was right after that.
After getting dressed, he went down to the main floor of the hotel. He walked through the common areas, past the couples and businessmen sitting at the smaller hotel restaurant near the lobby. He was early. Looking around, he found a seat near the quieter back window and waited. A server took his coffee order, and as he sat waiting, a young couple walked in from the patio outside and approached him.
“Good morning, sir. Sorry to bother you, but would you mind taking a photo of my wife and me? We just got married.” the man said.
“Oh honey, that’s the first time you’ve called me your wife,” the woman cooed before Andrew could answer. “It sounds so sweet.”
She reached up and kissed the man, and Andrew looked around, hoping a hostess or server—anyone—would come by and do the honors. No one came.
When they pulled from their kiss, the man seemed to remember why he was standing in front of Andrew’s table, and continued. “Sorry about that. So, can you take our photo out on the patio?”
“Certainly,” Andrew answered politely, and stood up to follow them outside.
The man passed Andrew his camera, and the couple stopped in between two planters, the sparkling San Francisco Bay behind them. They held each other close, posing for him to take the picture. Andrew fumbled with the camera briefly, then found the right setting and took a few shots. The couple thanked him repeatedly. He nodded and handed the camera back to the man before going inside.
He smiled and shook his head, sitting down at his table. It was always this way. Disgustingly cute and romantic couples always managed to make their way to him for photos when he was down in this hotel lobby. If nothing else, the Gods had an odd, mocking sense of humor.
He was looking out at the water when Sansbury reached the table and put his hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “Andrew, it’s great to see you, son,” he greeted him.
“Good morning, Dr. Sansbury. Nice to see you too.” Andrew stood up and shook his hand before they both sat down. “Would you like some breakfast?”
“I’ll have a coffee. I ate earlier this morning.”
“Sounds great.” Andrew waved at the server. She came over and got their orders. “So how has the feedback been?”
“On your lectures? Great so far.”
“Good to hear.”
“Thanks again for stepping in on such short notice.”
“Happy to help.”
“That’s not why I’m here, though.”
“No?”
“Not a chance.”
“So what’s this about?”
“This immune targeting research project is expanding. We need more talent on our team. I was hoping I could convince you to join me.”
Andrew hesitated. “I’m really honored for the invitation, Dr. Sansbury. The work sounds quite exciting. I just can’t make that kind of commitment. Not right now.” He looked away. He knew Sansbury read him like a book, so he didn’t bother hiding it. “I still don’t do too well when I’m away from the cottage.”
“You seem to be doing just fine.”
The server brought their coffees on a tray with milk, cream, sweeteners and sugar.
Andrew shr
ugged after the server left. “I’ve been here for two days, and I’m heading back tonight. I can’t even last a week, otherwise I’d stay in town for the final lecture next Tuesday.”
“Are you sure I can’t refer you to someone?”
“You mean a therapist?”
“Yes. I can get you someone who’s very discreet. She works with several of the faculty members. As a matter of fact, I believe she has quite a few doctors among her clientele.”
“I don’t think—”
“Don’t dismiss it yet,” he said, tilting his body slightly to reach into his pants pocket. “Here’s her card. Just think about it.”
“Thanks. I will.”
“Good, although I seriously doubt you’ll go.”
“You know me well, I guess.”
“Yes, and I hate seeing you stuck. Look, Andrew. I’ll tell you a story. A few years ago, one of my adjunct professors was driving back from a jet skiing trip down in Tijuana. He was with his three sons. It was late at night when they got home, and of all the crazy things that could have happened, they walked right into a home invasion taking place at their house. William, my professor, was immediately shot in the abdomen. Thankfully, his three boys were behind him, and ran away to get help.
“The ambulance and police arrived within minutes. William just barely survived, although now he needs dialysis. For almost three years, William refused to see a therapist. He returned to work within months of the incident. He and his three boys were still living in a hotel after it happened. When his performance at work began to deteriorate, we sent him to this therapist. We had to force him, but within six months he was back in his house.
“Today, even after all that therapy, he still walks into his house through the side door. He has never used his front door after that night, but he’s back home, and his boys are happier. Maybe that story isn’t as relevant as it seemed when I thought I’d share it with you. What I will tell you is things may never be the same, but they can get better. After all this time since Emma left us, it can only help… Talk to someone. We really need you on this project. You've got great talent. I need people with instinct.
“Let me just say this to you, Andrew. With nothing but love, because I see you as the son I never had. It’s time to claim your life and your soul…before you lose yourself. Please just think about it.”
“Thank you. I will.” Andrew looked at his watch. This conversation was more than he had bargained for. “I should be going. I’ve got a lecture to deliver. Thank you for the offer, and for coming by.”
Dr. Sansbury stood and shook his hand. “You take care of yourself, Andrew. Thanks for your help on the college lecture circuit. You’re a natural.”
Chapter Nine
ANDREW got up to answer a call on his landline phone. It was the emergency chopper service. The paramedic who tended to John phoned to let them know John would be released in a day or two. He thanked him for the information and hung up. Andrew wasn’t sure whether he could make a visit to the hospital to see them. He had Trina’s number, so he decided to phone.
He dialed her number, and Trina answered after a couple of rings.
“Hello?”
“Hello is this Trina?”
“Yes. Andrew?”
“Hi. Yes. I heard the news about John. How’s he doing?”
“We’re doing great. So you heard? John’s coming home tomorrow!”
“Yes. The paramedic has been checking in on John’s status for me. I’m very happy for you both.”
“Yes. We’re all really relieved.”
“Great. Is everything arranged with rehabilitation for the arm?”
“Yes, it’s all been set up for us. We’ll be back home in Reno. The physio center is close to where I live, so going regularly will be easy. And it’s all covered by his parents’ health insurance. We’ll be fine.”
“That’s excellent. Tell John hello for me. I’m going to go now. And if there’s anything either of you need, you be sure to let me know, okay?”
“You’ve done so much for us. We can’t begin to thank you for everything, Andrew.”
“It was nothing. I’m relieved things are going well.”
“Andrew?” Trina called out to him. She was changing the subject. He hoped she wouldn’t bring up Abby.
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“I don’t want to meddle in your affairs, but I spoke to Abby. She’s confused. She misses you. I could tell from her voice before she told me anything. The same way I can tell from yours that something’s wrong now. I won’t try to give you any advice. I just hope you two can work it out. You’re both very special people. I’d love to see you both happy one day. Okay, that’s all I’m going to say. Thank you for listening, and thanks for everything, Andrew.”
“I appreciate that, Trina. You take care of yourself. Have a good night.”
Andrew hung up. He was happy for them, and relieved she cut it off and didn’t intrude into his private life any further, even if she meant well. His mind shifted to Abby again. He wondered what she was doing right now. It was Friday. She was probably relaxing at home, or maybe she was out for a run. Or cooking. Or on a date. He let out a sigh and went back to finishing up some work in the office.
***
Andrew paced around the table in his office. He had some of his team members on speakerphone while they brainstormed on an upcoming promotion strategy. He listened more than he talked. He only contributed from time to time, adding his input where he felt the need. As he paced, he grabbed sheets of paper from his desk and crumpled them up. It was a nervous, subconscious action more than anything else.
He turned toward the trash can at the other corner of his office. He closed an eye and aimed for it as he listened. Shooting it across the room, the paper landed in the can. He was clearly not engaged in this meeting. Abby was on his mind again. He wished things had been simpler. After another twenty minutes on the phone, he told his team to continue without him, and hung up. They were on the right track. These were highly skilled strategists, marketers, research analysts, retail analysts and business consultants. They really didn’t need him, and his mind wasn’t there.
Andrew left the office and went out to sit on the back porch, thinking about what he could have done differently. It was disappointing. A mild resentment of Abby lingered as he thought about how she took steps to look into his past. Not that she was wrong in any way for doing it. He couldn’t hold that against her, because she would not have to research him online if he had just told her everything. It still bothered him, but not as much as it had when he charged out of her apartment that night. That less than smooth move was his doing. He was in the wrong, and wished he could fix things.
Deep down, though, it all seemed futile. Why would Abby want him now? Why would any woman want him now? He was damaged goods, with too many flaws and hang-ups. Holding on the hope that Abby could still want him, in spite of everything she had found online made no sense. Hope was useless.
He sat out on the porch, looking out until the sun went down. At least he had the sunsets.
Chapter Ten
ABBY had given up. Another week went by and she had not heard from Andrew. It had been three weeks since she had seen him. She was tired of checking her phone, tired of the wasted anticipation, tired of wishing he would call. She was sick of the way her heart pounded when she stood at her doorway or window, hoping he would magically show up and pick up where they left off. She was exhausted from crying so many useless tears.
She got out of bed that morning to get ready for work, and decided it was time to let go of whatever hope she held on to. He was not going to come around. It was no use. It was over. When she got to the hospital that morning, Paul was leaving as she walked in through the staff entrance.
“Hi Abby,” he called to her. “Are you just starting your shift?”
“Hi. Yes. How were things overnight?”
“Not muc
h worse than the last time you worked overtime.”
She nodded. “Well, busy can be good.”
“True,” he answered thoughtfully. “About that rain check, do you think I can trade it in for dinner?”
Abby was ready to let go of Andrew, but wasn’t sure she could embrace the thought of seeing someone new. Not yet. Paul seemed like a decent guy. He was handsome, fit, perhaps three or four years older than she was, and frequently the subject of several conversations among the female nurses since she had started her placement.
Even so, she couldn’t deny it—her heart was not in it. As attractive as Paul was, she was still numb. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him yes and then cancel—or worse, to go out with him and not enjoy herself. She looked up at him. It seemed like her hesitation was telling.
“Maybe I was a little forward…” Paul started, shifting his stance and looking away.
“No, not at all, Paul.” Abby stopped him. “I’m actually flattered you asked. I can’t say I have a better answer for you this time, though.”
“It’s all right,” he answered. “I get the sense there’s someone else.”
“Not exactly, but sort of.”
“Ahhhh, one of those ‘it’s complicated’ statuses, right?”
“Yes. Something like that. I’m sorry, Paul.”
“How about we leave it open? Maybe down the road, you’ll have worked out the complications, and it would just be a matter of a simple yes or no. I don’t mind waiting. No matter what you choose, you should still come out with us on staff night.” He relaxed a little, and smiled. “It can be quite entertaining, watching your colleagues kill it on karaoke night.”
Abby smiled. “I won’t promise you yet, but it sounds like fun. I’ll try to come out with the group, one of these days. Thanks for understanding, Paul.”
“We’ve all been there. It’s no problem.”
“Thanks. Well, duty calls inside. Enjoy your time off.”
Cabin Bear Heat Box Set: A Paranormal Fantasy Bear Shifter Romance (A Bear Shifter Romance Retelling of the Billionaire Redemption Series Book 2) Page 35
