by Brey Willows
He started cleaning, a sure sign he was bothered. “Plenty of the gods say they’re good, benevolent. But how many actually are?” He turned and took her shoulders gently in his big hands. “Are you so sure of what, and who, she is? If it came down to her kind or ours, who would she choose, hija? When we were praying for your mother, when we begged the loa to tell Bondye to spare her, did they? Of course not. They turned their backs, the way they always do. People here are still living in hovels, in poverty, no matter how much they pray. It isn’t right.”
He let go of her and returned to his cleaning.
“Dad, they’re not going away. They’re here, so we have to deal with them in some way. And I really like Tis. She’s strong and smart. She cares really deeply about people.”
“You agree with me, though, that the gods can go right back to wherever the hell they came from?”
Kera sighed. “I was hoping we could at least have some normal time together before we jumped into the religious stuff.”
“And we would have, if you weren’t dating…her.”
“But I am, and we have enough crap to deal with, without you pissing off the one girlfriend I’ve had who could make Jell-O out of our brains.” She turned him away from his cleaning and hugged him tightly. “I don’t know how it’s going to work out. Maybe it won’t. But she’s here, and she’s my guest. Play nice, okay?”
He sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Okay, mija. I will, because I love you.” He moved back and looked down at her. “Did she say Papa Ghede was outside waiting?”
* * *
The bumpy road was lined with massive palms that quickly led to a beautiful canopy of lush, tall trees. The air cooled considerably and made Tis’s skin tingle. They drove through the small village outside the Saut-d’Eau waterfall, before parking near the one-hundred-foot waterfall itself. “We’ll hike up from here. Or you can wrap me in those big ol’ wings of yours and fly us on up.”
Tis grinned at the cheeky little god. “I could do that. Where are we going?”
He pointed at the top of the waterfall. “There’s some caves behind the water toward the top. You have to see it to believe it.”
She gladly let the magic fall away and stretched her wings to their full length. She lifted her face to the dappled sunlight and took in the silence and beauty around them. When she looked back at Papa Ghede, he was staring at her open-mouthed.
“Well, damn. I’m glad you folks don’t come around here too often. You’d make a god feel downright human. I forgot just how impressive you and your sisters are.” He rubbed his hands together. “Now, show me what it’s like to fly.”
She moved behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, grinning when he snuggled in closer to her. “Behave.” She leapt into the air and laughed when he gave a shout of pure glee. She flew over the trees, allowing his legs to skate along the treetops, before turning and heading toward the waterfall again.
“Just there, next to the rock that looks like a breast.”
Water crashed over them as she flew them straight through the fall and into the cave beyond. She set him down, ignoring his excited babble about wishing he had wings, and breathed in the familiar scent of ancient, wet stone. It brought back so many memories, her eyes flooded with tears. A cackling laugh brought her out of her reverie.
“Well, goodness me. It’s been a thousand and one years since I’ve seen you, lady.” Loko, the loa equivalent to Tis, came from the back of the cave with a smile. With her shock of white hair and her cane, she looked like a hobbling Q-tip. Tis returned the hug that belied the old lady veneer.
“It very may well have been,” Tis said.
Loko shrugged. “No matter, lady. The only reason time matters is because people live and die. For us…well. Come in. We’ve got a stock of white rum and lots of fresh coconuts.”
Tis followed Papa Ghede and Loko toward the back of the cave, where she was surprised to see sunlight. They came to a massive circular area with a huge opening above that acted as a sort of skylight. Water trickled from its edges into a green sea-glass colored pool. Around the pool were lounge chairs and tables covered with drinks. Reclining on one of the chairs was Erzuli, a complex goddess with many roles among the Vodun worshippers.
She raised her glass at Tis. “Welcome back, ancient one. We wondered when Afterlife would send someone to check on us.” Erzuli ignored Papa Ghede, as his crass behavior had always been beneath her.
Tis accepted the cold glass from Loko with a nod of thanks and settled by the pool. “Is it okay if I put my feet in this?”
“If you strip down, you can put all of you in it.” Papa Ghede laughed around the cigarette in his mouth and wiggled his eyebrows.
“Just my feet is fine. What a remarkable place you’ve got.”
Erzuli nodded, clearly pleased at the compliment. “Isn’t it? The whole area is veiled, of course. There are a number of caves and tunnels that lead off this one, and we each have our own area. All of them have openings and pools like this one.”
“Magnificent.” Tis plunged her feet into the cool water and sighed happily. With her eyes still closed, she said, “I’m not here for Afterlife, by the way. I’m here with a friend, for her mother’s year and a day ceremony.”
“Mambo Espinosa, over in Petion-ville.” Papa Ghede sat next to Tis and murmured appreciatively when he put his feet in the cool water.
Loko sighed. “She was one of the best. A true believer. And boy, did she know how to feed a loa.”
Erzuli looked far more interested now. “You’ve come with her daughter, then?”
“Kera. She asked me to come and meet her family, and go through the ritual with her.”
The three of them were quiet, and Tis got the feeling she’d said something wrong. “What is it?”
“You know outsiders aren’t welcome at the ceremony, Tisera. I’m surprised she invited you at all, but I’m even more surprised she thinks her family would allow it.”
Tis hadn’t even considered it, and she should have. She knew the laws of every religion in every culture, but blinded by her desire to be with Kera, she’d forgotten an important aspect of the Vodun belief system.
“Well, it may be that I ask for your hospitality more than I’d intended to.”
Erzuli rose, sensual, graceful, and remote all at once. “You know you’re always welcome here, snake lady. We have plenty of space. But perhaps you should discuss it with the Espinosa daughter first. If you’re involved, hiding here with us isn’t going to make things easier.”
“You’ve dealt with her before, I assume?”
Papa Ghede laughed. “Not me, but Erzu came across her more than once. That girl got around before she left, let me tell you. Not a piece of ass was safe if she decided she wanted to play with it. Women threw themselves at her—”
“Enough.” Loko’s voice was quiet but stern. “You’ve been spending too much time among them, Papa G. Don’t forget yourself, and what you are.”
He bowed his head respectfully toward her. “Yes, Mama. Sorry.”
She turned to Tis. “The girl had little time for us, like her father. Because her mother was such a supporter, we were often around the family, and the girl often saw us. But she’d act like we were petro loa and avoid us whenever possible.”
The petro loa were the bad loa, the ones responsible for chaos and dark magic, and Tis would gladly avoid them as well. “She thinks there’s no point to religion, that it only makes people weak and gives them excuses to behave poorly. And that the gods don’t actually help people.”
Loko waved her hand derisively. “Bah. We help the ones we can. But you know the drill. Their whole system revolves around things being the way they are for a reason. They pray, but it’s half-hearted at best, unless it’s about health or sex.”
“Nothing wrong with praying for sex.”
Tis looked at Papa G. “You’re not having sex with the human women, are you?”
“When they call me,
you bet your fine pretty wings I do. Sometimes as me, sometimes I mount the fellow she’s already with, although I have to do that a lot less now that we’re allowed to be out with them.”
Tis thought about the councils constantly happening at Afterlife and how far removed they were from places like this, where the laws would feel optional rather than obligatory. The next time she was in the office, she needed to consider the ramifications of that.
Papa G began to laugh. “Your girl is calling. She’s using prayer to say they’re home and asking that I bring you back.”
Tis laughed. “Well, at least she knows you’re listening.” Sad to leave the beautiful sanctuary, she took her feet from the pool and dried them. It felt so much like the places she’d loved when she was young. “No need to bring me back, but thank you. I’ll fly.”
Loko stood and gave her another long hug. “Come back whenever you want, snake lady. And don’t forget we’re here when you go back to your big concrete building.”
She held Loko tightly, drawing on her strength and sureness.
As she turned to leave the cave, she heard Erzuli say quietly behind her, “You’re going to have to make a choice, Fury. The things we see, they stay as shadows in our souls, and we carry the ghosts of the dead with us, even after they cross. The world is being reborn, and that’s never painless. When the time comes to choose, do so with your heart as well as your head. Those of us living between life and death don’t have the luxury of only using one.”
Tis turned to ask questions, but she was already gone, and Tis was alone on the edge of the cave, the waterfall crashing behind her. With a sigh, she turned to fly to Kera’s family home.
Chapter Eighteen
Kera relaxed into the sound of the drums beating in the background as her aunties gathered for the first night’s ceremonies. They came from all over and would have even if her parents’ house was too small to accommodate everyone. But it was one of the larger houses in Petion-ville, thanks to her mother’s career in science. Her father didn’t need to work, since her mother had made enough to set them up for a comfortable retirement, but he’d go stir crazy without something to do, and cooking had always been his second love.
She hugged this auntie and that one. Although she couldn’t explain it if asked, she knew the second Tis arrived. She felt like a piece of herself had just come back to her. She looked around and saw her father give Tis a smile as she headed inside to find Kera. Their eyes met across the room, and Kera felt it, as she always did—that tingle that shot right through her, a frisson of electric desire. She smiled and was awed by the beauty of Tis’s smile in return.
“Hey.”
Kera took Tis’s hand in hers. “I was worried you wouldn’t come back. That you’d caught a ride back with one of those little sea nymphs or something. Since Papa Ghede got us from the airport, I figured I’d try talking to him telepathically, like you do with your sisters. Did it work?”
Tis kissed her knuckles. “It did, although I’m not sure other gods would take kindly to being a messenger service. And as for running off with the sea nymph, I dislike trying to breathe underwater, and I told you I’d be back. I just needed some time to think. We’ve got things to work out, but we don’t have to do it now.” She looked around the increasingly crowded room. “You’ve got plenty of other things to think about.”
“And who is this, girlie?”
They turned to face a behemoth of a woman wearing a red floral print dress with massive matching flowers in her hair. She had a red scarf around her neck and flat red shoes to match. Her smile was broad, but the expression in her eyes was suspicious.
“This is my friend Tisera. Tis, this is my auntie Goslin, my mother’s sister.”
Goslin shook Tis’s hand but looked at Kera. “It’s good you have a friend, but you know we don’t allow moun deyò here. This is for your mama and those who knew her.”
“Believe me when I say, I’m pretty certain the loa won’t mind Tis being here, even if she is an outsider.”
“You can’t know what the loa think—”
“Oh, I think we can.” Kera kept hold of Tis’s hand, liking the way it grounded her. Not that she ever needed grounding, of course. “They’re out there telling us all the time these days, aren’t they?” She felt Tis stiffen slightly beside her and quickly stopped herself. “Auntie G, she was my mama, and she’d be glad I’ve found someone I wanted to bring home. It’s not up to anyone but me and dad.”
Auntie G shrugged and turned to walk away. “It’s your mama’s soul journey. Do what you want.”
Kera frowned, and Tis squeezed her hand to get her attention. When she looked at her, Tis was smiling.
“Baby, don’t let them get to you. Remember, people believe in different ways because they have different needs. Papa Ghede himself picked us up, and he’s coming to make sure your mother crosses over the way she should. None of these people’s concerns will make an iota of difference to that. I promise, and believe me, I know. That said, it’s true that I’m an outsider. Are you sure you want me here?”
Kera smiled and then laughed loudly. “Nothing like it coming from the horse’s mouth. Or fury’s mouth, as the case may be.” She leaned forward and gave Tis a soft kiss. “Yes. I most certainly want you here. I never liked that auntie anyway.”
The head priestess called the ceremony to start. One by one, people placed offerings to the loa on a massive black clothed altar that included a picture of Kera’s mother. Cigars, apples, cigarettes, peanuts, and coconuts, as well as little bottles of rum were placed among brilliant white lilies.
The mambo began with the desounen prayers, meant to get the soul to let go of the real world, and the chanting and drumming grew louder as she asked the loa to join them. Tis squeezed Kera’s hand and nodded toward the back of the room. Kera looked in the direction she indicated and saw Papa Ghede standing with a beautiful woman, whom she assumed was Erzuli, an entity she’d seen when her mother had called on her during ceremonies. And then, she saw a shimmer, like oil on water in the midday sun, between them. The longer she looked, the louder the chanting and prayers became, the more the figure solidified.
Jolted, she realized it was her mother.
But not her mother. The figure was insubstantial and looked…wet. Puzzled, she looked at Tis. “Why does she look wet? And…why is she here?” She felt shaken in a way she never had before. Her mother used to lead these rituals with passion and fire. Now, she watched impassively, almost like she didn’t see what was going on.
“If I’m not mistaken, souls go into the water during the year and a day, correct? So she’s come from the water. And souls are often present throughout their leaving ceremonies, in any religion. It’s their time to say good-bye as well.”
Kera shook herself. “Stupid me. Of course. I guess I’m not thinking.”
The chanting grew louder, the dancing more frantic. Kera felt the drumbeat in her stomach, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from her mother, who continued to grow faintly more real looking by the minute. The chanting stopped, and the mambo raised the struggling chicken over her head.
“A gift for Papa Ghede and Erzuli, for the loa who see our loved ones home.” She held the chicken over a bowl, and an assistant slit its neck. The blood poured into a bowl, steam rising from it as hot liquid hit cold marble. “Hear us, loa! We pray for our mambo, we ask Loko to get ready to take her home to Bondye.”
After about an hour or so, Papa Ghede put his arm around Kera’s mother, and he, Erzuli, and Kera’s mother walked out. Kera felt a moment of panic swell in her chest. “Where are they going? Why isn’t anybody else watching them?”
Tis pulled her close. “Deities don’t stick around for long, unless something really interesting is happening, and I have a feeling they’re not visible to anyone but us at the moment. Sacred ceremonies can lose a bit of their focus if the god is right there in their midst. Ironic, really. Anyway, the initial prayers have called your mother from the water. Now, eve
ryone can go relax until tomorrow night.”
Kera looked at Tis, needing to know. “Can I go see her? Talk to her?”
Tis frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t know, but I doubt it. We can ask, if you like?”
“Please.” Kera hadn’t ever had to beg, at least not in a situation that didn’t involve a bed and ropes, but right now, she’d gladly drop to her knees if there was a chance she could say a proper good-bye to her mother. Tis took her hand, and she followed her out, ignoring the glares and frowns of the people around her. They went outside and found Kera’s father leaning against an old, bent palm tree, looking up at the sky. He smiled at them when they came out.
“Too much?”
Kera hesitated. From the time she was a child, she’d told him she could see things other people couldn’t, and he’d never doubted her, even if he was an atheist. When the gods had come out, he’d actually called and apologized for not being more supportive. But from their conversation earlier, she knew he probably didn’t want to hear much about the other world. “Maybe a little.”
“You know, I thought I could feel her. Just for a minute, it was like she was this close to me, like I could almost touch her…” He smiled sadly. “Crazy, isn’t it?”
Kera’s heart hurt for him. She couldn’t imagine his pain. She’d lost her mother, but he’d lost his soul mate. “No, Dad. It’s not crazy at all. I felt it too. But that’s the point, right? To call her back so we can send her on properly.”
He shook his head and looked at Tis, his expression sad and serious. “So, ancient one? Tell me about Heaven. Tell me where I’m supposed to find my wife.”
Kera looked at Tis, curious as to how she’d answer. She hadn’t given much thought to the issues of Heaven and Hell as real, but if the gods existed… “Wow. So those places exist too?”
Tis stared at her feet, and Kera could tell she was thinking.
“Yes. Heaven exists. As does Hell. And Nirvana, Gan Eden, Vaikuntha, Hades, and Samsara. Whatever religion it is, the afterlife does actually exist. So, your wife will go to the version of Heaven believed in by the Vodun.”
