Furthermore, I believe that you should resign from your position, as this crisis in Manchester comes as a direct result of your completely deplorable conduct in public office.
We are not allowed to treat people in our custody cells the way that you are making DWP staff treat members of the public. If you were a member of the public, you would be arrested under section 146 of the Criminal Justice Act, for hate crimes.
Enough is enough.
Yours Sincerely”
There was another audible gasp in the room, and Miller wondered if he had been one of the people who had gasped too. This was such an incredible speech from the Chief Constable, and it was clear to everybody in the media centre, and watching at home, or listening on the radio, Manchester’s top cop meant every word. He’d had enough.
“So, to recap. I am as angry and upset about the government’s conduct as you are. But I don’t want another person being hurt. If you really are doing this, to bring about changes, then prove it. I want you to hand yourself in, I want you to call it off, and I want to get you the help that you need. Now let’s put an end to it. It is not the DWP staff that you are angry with, it’s the government. Please, show how much you care, and end this before you hurt another innocent DWP team member.”
With that, the Chief Constable stood, very calmly and gracefully, and walked out of the media centre with DCI Miller following close behind. If Miller’s facial expression gave anything away, it was that he was just as surprised by that remarkable outburst as anybody else.
The media staff were just as stunned by the sudden, unexpected conclusion to this unforgettable press conference. They’d all been absolutely positive that the Chief Constable was going to end the statement by offering his own resignation. That was what it felt that he was leading up to, as each new bomb was dropped. But no, he just wandered out of there like a man who really couldn’t give a fuck any more.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The media were going mad for this story. Nothing like this had ever happened before, certainly not in recent history anyway. Plenty of senior officers from the Army, or the NHS, or other police forces had made critical remarks about the government once they’d retired, or resigned. They generally did it to grab a splash of publicity for their autobiography coming out.
But never before had a serving Chief Constable gone on the record with such a vitriolic and scathing attack against the serving government. It was simply unbelievable, and the media centre at MCP headquarters was quite literally full of people who were a little dumfounded and shell-shocked by the remarkable press conference they had just witnessed.
“You’re watching the BBC News Channel, that was a live broadcast, and I’m quite lost for words after that. Let’s listen again to what the Chief Constable had to say.” The BBC news channel started the press conference again, from the beginning, presumably to give staff a chance to catch their breaths, and to provide the opportunity to have a discussion about how the BBC were going to handle this, from a politically neutral standpoint.
“Well, that’s escalated quickly,” said the News Editor of the BBC News Network. “How the hell do we put that back in the box?”
“Do we have to?”
“Do we want the Media, Culture and Sport down here, slashing our budgets again?”
“They couldn’t… could they?”
“Well they cut us by eighty million last time. Come on, you know how this all works. We need to spin this. Somehow.”
“We could frame it as a stunt, maybe it was a stunt?”
“In what way?”
“Well maybe the Chief Constable is playing a trick, showing some pretend empathy in order to appeal to the attacker’s own compassion?”
“Yes. Genius. We’ll run with that. Grab a leading psychologist to come in and provide expert analysis.”
*****
“Bloody hell fire! Put the news on. Manchester Chief Constable has just committed career suicide live on the air!” Said one Tweet from the popular Twitter political correspondent Theresa Larkin-Milne.
“Well, I think the Chief Constable might be visiting the Jobcentre himself soon, judging by that performance,” tweeted the BBC’s political chief Jennie Hills.
“The Chief Constable of Manchester just promoted himself to the level of Manc God! He can now stand proudly beside Eric Cantona, Anthony H Wilson and Jack and Vera as a truly God-like Manc.” This tweet was published by the Channel 5 presenter Wendi Kaye.
Reaction to the Chief Constable’s relentless attack against the government’s austerity policy was everywhere. The video clip had gone viral instantly, millions upon millions of British people had been campaigning against the cuts and the austerity programme for several years. It was music to their ears, and it felt like a historical moment. It was an event which was definitely worth celebrating.
The system was so badly broken, so ineptly managed that now, in the wave of this scary, disturbing crisis caused by the cuts, a senior member of British society had decided that enough was enough, and made the decision to call it all out for what it was.
It was exciting, and many people felt incredibly enthused by the manner in which the Chief Constable had spoken. It wasn’t a rant. It was a well delivered, well considered statement of fact. He’d been calm, collected, and it felt as though he’d been speaking to just one person. Although his intention had been to speak directly to the attacker; in actual fact, what happened was that every single person who shared the same opinion about the austerity regime, felt that the Chief was talking directly to them. It seemed that now, finally, something was happening. It really felt that a damaging blow had been delivered to the government. And there was an insatiable appetite for more. Where was the next, devastating strike against this cruel, austerity-obsessed government going to come from, though?
Celebrities from Manchester were congratulating the Chief Constable via their Twitter and Facebook accounts.
“Don’t fuck with the Mancs. They don’t have the same rule-book as everyone else!” stated the former New Order bassist Peter Hook.
“Like Tony H Wilson famously said. This is Manchester. We Do Things Differently Here.” Added Steve Coogan.
“I like how the Chief walked out of there like he fucking owned the joint. Just wish he’d kicked the fucking table over though!” Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher’s tweet managed to hit 100k likes within half an hour. This was going viral, and everybody in the land was going to hear about the Chief Constable ripping the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions a new arsehole.
There was a great deal of Mancunian high-fiving going on. The people really thought that the Chief Constable’s extraordinary outburst against the government was a memorable moment in history. It certainly felt that way. But the beauty of this, was that it wasn’t a cheeky little dig, or a sarcastic swipe.
This was a full-on, in-your-face statement based solely on facts. An earnest, “heart-on-your-sleeve” statement which was going to be extremely difficult for the government to simply side-step or make light of. It was all based on reality, and delivered by a man that you would expect to be telling the truth.
The Chief Constable had lit the blue touch paper, and now, the few media outlets that were not under Tory control were absolutely determined to make sure that the inevitable explosions would be spectacular and unforgettable.
*****
“Oh my God Andy, what the hell? I’ve not seen you looking that awkward since that gay bloke asked you to dance with him at Carole’s fabulous 50th.” Clare Miller laughed to herself as she sent the text message. That press conference had been excruciating for Clare’s husband, she could tell by the way he just stared straight ahead, wearing a completely neutral expression. And it had been made so much more awkward by the sudden ending. The Chief Constable’s unforgettable tirade had caused such a stir that everybody forgot to ask any questions of DCI Miller, the man who was leading the man-hunt for this vicious attacker.
It was bonkers, but also ex
tremely amusing for Clare. She would be able to rib him for weeks on this one, she was already planning to adopt Andy’s vacant posture, and stare impassively ahead next time her husband said something she didn’t agree with.
Her phone pinged with a text.
“That was the hardest ten minutes of my life. I couldn’t nod, couldn’t smile, couldn’t do anything but stare ahead like a bloody zombie! I felt like laughing at one point, I got this really weird feeling that it was a prank, you know, Game For A Laugh or summat! Anyway, I think we might be getting a new Chief Constable soon.”
“Lol. See you later. Don’t forget my mum and dad are round for tea tonight. Would be nice if you could make it, I bet they’re starting to think you’re avoiding them! X”
A minute or two passed before Clare Miller got a reply.
“I am. X”
*****
“This is YOUR fault!” screamed the front page of the Manchester Evening News. The headline was laid out next to a notorious photograph of the Home Secretary for Work and Pensions, Ian David Smythe, tucking into his infamous fried breakfast, the one which he later claimed almost £40 in expenses for.
Beside it was a photograph of a queue of families outside Salford Food Bank. These two photographs were being used as a contrasting example of how wide the gap between the richest, and the poorest people in modern Britain, is. This was now the main story in Great Britain, and the internet news providers were all over it. It was a bizarre moment, because the number 1 story had already been the DWP attacks, and the search for the attacker. But that aspect was now less important, the hot topic was the row which was breaking out between the head of the Manchester police, and the government.
“Who’s going to be signing on next?” Asked The Mirror’s website, using the same photo of the millionaire Home Secretary with his bizarrely expensive fry-up, which had caused so much controversy because it had cost almost ten times the price of a cooked breakfast at any normal cafe. Next to it was a photo of the Chief Constable taken minutes earlier, as he delivered his blistering speech.
The Tory supporting Mail Online had a much more sombre headline, “Chief Constable Claims Horrific DWP Attacks are Home Secretary’s Fault.”
The Express kept things simple with “Political Row Breaks Out Over DWP Attacks.”
The Star went with “Big Bro Hunk’s Five-In-Bed Sex Romps.”
On TV, the news channels were making the most of the political angle that this story now seemed to have taken. All of the main broadcasters were jamming the switchboard of the Number 10 Press Office, desperate to get a quote in response, or better still, a big, dramatic statement read out by the Home Secretary on the steps of Number 10 Downing Street, defending the benefit reforms. Or even better still, the Chancellor of the Exchequer coming out to justify the cuts to public services. The very cuts that the Chief Constable had explained were having disastrous effects on his organisation’s ability to adequately police the metropolitan city of Greater Manchester.
There was a holding message on the Press Enquiry page of Number 10’s Website which stated simply, and frustratingly, “Response to Manchester Chief Constable’s Statement to Follow.” This was the difficult part of reporting on a story of this nature, as there was only one side to the story in existence. The most experienced news editors and journalists felt that the reply wouldn’t be long in coming. They knew that the government had to act fast if any attempt at damage limitation was to be successful. The longer Number 10 left it, the greater the risk of the Chief Constable’s views gaining traction, and causing lasting damage on the people the government feared the most. The swinging voters. It was crucial that the government came back ASAP and “set the record straight” and it was expected that they would.
But in the backs of the minds of several senior media commentators, there was an excitement stirring. This government had stumbled and limped, looking dazed and confused from one crisis to the next. Their self-made disasters of the austerity cuts, offering the catastrophic EU Referendum, and then losing a healthy majority in a completely unnecessary “snap election” in 2017 had made this government the laughing stock of the world. They were nick-named “weak and wobbly” in response to their utterly bizarre decision to brand their lacklustre work as “strong and stable.”
There had never been such a hopelessly shambolic shower of twits, idiots and losers in power since the beginning of Parliament as we know it, in 1707. Even the Queen, who traditionally remains politically neutral, poured scorn on the “snap election” fiasco, by dropping all of the usual pomp, and opening the new Parliament period dressed quite unsubtly as the EU flag.
Judging by the eye-watering ineptitude of their bungling ministers, who car-crash every single fiasco which the government are tragically involved with, it was quite a reasonable suggestion that they’d make a pig’s ear of handling this, as well.
This really was a delightful prospect for the left-leaning journalists and media bosses, and it looked like yet another amazing opportunity for the other political parties to take the piss, once again, out of the utterly hopeless, disturbingly inept, but ultimately nasty government.
*****
“I’m not happy with how this is all starting to go, Jeremy!” announced one angry caller on BBC Radio 2’s lunch-time phone-in show. The daily current-affairs programme attracted over five million listeners, and it seemed that today, they all wanted to get on air and say something about the Chief Constable’s unconventional announcement. Tony from Cornwall was the first on the line.
“What are you unhappy with Tony?” asked the presenter.
“Well, it’s all getting a bit daft. This Chief Constable should be sacked on the spot for that nonsense he was spouting earlier!”
“How was it nonsense, Tony?”
“Well, its, of course it’s nonsense. It’s not the Chief Constable’s place to…”
“I’m asking you how it’s nonsense, Tony?”
“It’s total nonsense, and we all know it is!”
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know if it is nonsense. I’m asking you to explain to me, how is it nonsense?”
“Because its, all these cuts, these are not being done for fun, it’s because the country is skint!”
“But is the country skint, Tony?”
“Yes, yes of course, why do you think we’re having these cuts in the first place?”
“Well its odd that we seem to have plenty of money for new roads, and new railways, and new nuclear weapons. There’s also money there to increase MP’s wages by over ten-per-cent. The refurbishment of Parliament itself has been given the green light, and is expected to cost seven billion pounds. The deal the government have just done to bung one and a half billion pounds to the DUP party in Northern Ireland doesn’t really suggest that we are skint. But, none-the-less, the government keep telling us that there is no money, and it’s so bad that we don’t have enough to keep a battered wives refuge going in Doncaster, or a special needs school going in Plymouth?”
“No… that’s… you can’t.”
“Tony, if I asked you to come for a meal and a pint, and you said that you can’t really afford it, because you’re skint…”
“Yeah?”
“But you came along anyway, and bought drinks for everybody in the bar, and ordered the most expensive dish on the menu, and then offered to pay for mine, as well…”
“Yeah?”
“Well I’d start to think that you weren’t actually skint at all. But that you were just saying it, for some reason.”
“You’re changing the subject. All I’m saying is, that the Chief Constable was bang out of order, and he needs to resign for poking his nose where it isn’t wanted.”
“But, surely people do want to hear his views, especially his officers, and the people of Greater Manchester, and the DWP employees who must be going through hell right now?”
“But to say all that, about the cuts. Its diabolical.”
“Tony, I’m not too sure why
you have come on air today, if it was just to say that we need the cuts, then I’m afraid that leading economists who know a bit more about these matters than you or I do, have gone on the record saying that the UK doesn’t need the cuts, that the cuts have done no good, that they have just caused endless, negative problems throughout our society, and damage to the economy, which is the worst performing economy in the EU. Can you remember what the cuts were supposedly for, Tony?”
“Yes, because we had no money.”
“No, it was because the government wanted to get rid of the deficit. They promised in 2010 that there would be five years of pain, but it would be worth it, because by the time of the next election in 2015, the books would be balanced, the deficit would be gone, and everything would be beautiful.”
“Exactly, that’s the point I’m trying to…”
“But, that’s not happened Tony, has it? The deficit has doubled. People are beginning to think that they were all conned. So, rather than coming on here, trying to rubbish the very serious claims that Manchester’s top cop has made, perhaps you should go and find out why we’ve seen such severe cuts to all of our public services, yet the bill that these cuts were supposed to pay for, has not been paid. In fact it’s actually doubled.”
“Er… well I still think he was out of line, saying what he did. He has to go.”
“Okay thank you, Tony there in Cornwall. I think he’s been at the Scrumpy, as he didn’t seem to understand a word I was saying there. Sandra in Milton Keynes, good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon Jeremy, and I just wanted to say that I’m really proud of what the Chief Constable has come out and said today. It’s one thing all the politicians arguing amongst themselves… but I think you get real sense of substance when a professional person of the Chief Constable’s calibre, gives you the facts, warts and all, based on his experience. Fair play, and now it’s time to call time on these idiotic cuts, and start investing in our country.”
The Final Cut Page 18
