Above her, Aphrodite was almost relieved to see Medusa, even if she was wearing her usual sour expression. Medusa’s eyes moved over the box, reading the glittery sign. Aphrodite smiled at her, but Pandora reached for a pair of glasses with bright green lenses in her bag and put them on. All mortals had to hide their eyes from Medusa or risk being turned to stone. To solve the problem, which she had accidentally helped cause, Athena had invented “stoneglasses” for the mortals at MOA. Instead of protecting against the sun, they protected against being turned to stone by Medusa’s stare.
“I’m starting a club to help mortals find love,” Aphrodite told the two girls.
“Oh, really? Why?” said Medusa, folding her arms and looking skeptical.
“For fun,” Aphrodite said quickly. Only a few mortals attended MOA, and Pandora and Medusa were among them. She hoped they wouldn’t want to join her club. Even she couldn’t be that unlucky! Before they could question her further, she rushed past them to her room.
Her eyes widened when she saw five letterscrolls lying on the floor just below her window. Wow! If mortals were this eager for her help, maybe they weren’t as mad as Mr. Cyclops assumed, Aphrodite thought with excitement. This whole community-service thing was going to be a snap.
After picking them up, she positioned the new mailbox under her window. Then she sat on her bed and opened the letters with her silver letter opener, unrolling them one by one. She was disappointed to see that the first three were from godboys who were crushing on her. That was nothing new. Godboys were always vying for her attention. Each of them had written that they admired her beauty, but none of them said they admired her brains or anything else about her. Did they think she was all beauty and nothing more? Well, if they did, they were wrong, and she was going to prove it!
The fourth letter turned out to be even worse. A mortal bear-giant on earth named Agrios wanted to join her club. He had written that he was interested in meeting lots of sweet maidens, especially those who had good taste. Humpf! Did he really think she was too dumb to read between the lines? Everyone knew that bear-giants ate mortal maidens. She tossed that one into the trash. She was trying to help members of her club find love, not dinner!
She opened the fifth letter, hoping this one would be a genuine plea for help. Instead, it turned out to be a riddle!
YOU’VE GOT THE SMARTS
TO HELP LONELY HEARTS.
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW CLUB.
~ FROM GUESS WHO LIKES YOU?
How nice! At least someone out there thought she had some brains. Under her fingertips, she could feel magic fizzing within the papyrus. That meant that the riddler was most likely an immortal. She fanned the letter, wondering who it could be from. Hephaestus maybe? He had once told her she was clever. She certainly hoped he wasn’t falling in like with her again, as he had earlier in the year. He was nice. She didn’t want to hurt him by rejecting him a second time. Just a few days ago, she’d seen him walking hand in hand with a goddessgirl named Aglaia that Aphrodite herself had introduced him to. The two of them had looked so happy together. Had they broken up?
Going to the window, she checked the sundial outside. It was noon. Pheme was probably down on earth spreading the news about her club right this very minute. As she straightened her already-neat room and fluffed up her heart-shaped pillows, she imagined the excitement her news must be causing. Mortals would be lining up for her help. Everyone wanted to find love, right?
But as the hours passed, no more letters arrived.
Aphrodite did her nails, cleaned her closet, and read the latest news in Teen Scrollazine. It was full of articles like: The Hottest Godboys (Naturally, Hades was tops on that list!) and Five Fixes for a Bad Hair Day (This article included a drawing of Medusa). There was also a quiz called: What Godboys Really Want. That got her thinking. She should create her own quiz to send each of her club members—as soon as she got any, that is. The information they provided on the quiz would help her help them to find love more efficiently. She sat at her desk and got to work on it.
It took her a couple of hours to finish and to make ten copies of it, but during that whole time no more letters came. She was beginning to wonder if mortals might be more annoyed with her than she’d realized—so annoyed that they didn’t trust her to help them anymore! Or maybe Pheme just hadn’t gotten the word out properly. Perhaps she’d better go check things out.
She stepped to the window. Letting her dark, curly eyelashes flutter closed, she concentrated on bringing an image of her favorite bird to mind. As she held on to that image, her body became lighter and smaller. She began to sprout soft emerald-colored feathers and her arms became wings. Soon she had shape-shifted into a lovebird! Flapping her delicate wings, she rose into the air and sailed from her window. Free as a bird now, she rode the wind from MOA, down through the clouds toward earth.
There she spotted a group of Greek mortals, who were laughing uproariously. Wondering what the joke was, she swooped lower to eavesdrop, coming to rest on a tall cypress tree just above them.
“Have you heard the news?” one mortal youth asked another. “Aphrodite is starting a Lonely Darts Club. I guess it’s for lonely mortals who like to play darts.”
Oh no! thought Aphrodite. Pheme must have garbled the message she’d sent. No wonder no one had sent her any letters! Who would join a club like that?
“No! I heard it was a Bonely Smarts Club for mortals with intelligent dogs,” insisted another mortal youth.
“You’re both wrong!” said a maiden. “I heard it’s a Foamy Arts Club for those who like to create bubble art while taking a bath.”
“Who cares?” said the first mortal youth. “They’re all the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard!” They burst out laughing again.
Aphrodite’s little bird cheeks went pink with embarrassment. How could she have trusted Pheme not to mess up? As more mortals joined the first three, the jokes about her club were told again and again. The sound of their laughter cut through her like an arrow. But then her feelings of hurt turned to anger. How dare these mortals make fun of her? She was a goddess! Didn’t they know they risked her revenge? She’d be within her rights to turn them into mice, or beetles, or even toadstools! But if she did, she doubted it would make them want to join her Lonely Hearts Club. Instead, it would only make them madder. She’d look worse in their eyes than she already did, and the jokes about her club would likely spread even faster. Nope. Not worth it.
As she winged her way back to MOA, her heart felt so heavy it was a wonder she could fly at all. If word ever reached mortals that she’d made a D in a class, they’d be convinced she was too dumb to be worshipped. And there was a tiny part of her that wondered if they were right. Then she remembered the riddle-letter she’d gotten a few hours ago and felt somewhat comforted. At least there was one person at MOA besides her best friends who thought she was smart, even if she wasn’t sure who it was.
She flew higher and higher until finally she broke through the clouds. Up ahead, MOA came into view, gleaming in the sunlight atop the highest mountain in Greece. It was an awesome sight that never failed to amaze her. Five stories tall and built of white marble, it was surrounded on all sides by dozens of Ionic columns and low-relief friezes. It was hard not to smile at such a glorious vista, and she felt both sides of her beak curve upward.
When she landed on her windowsill, Aphrodite poked her feathered head in her mailbox. A new letter had come! She pecked at it and didn’t feel any magic in it. Which meant it was from a mortal. At last! A mortal looking for true love . . . she hoped.
3
The Letter
APHRODITE SHAPE-SHIFTED BACK INTO HER goddessgirl form, hopped from the window ledge into her room, and then pulled the letterscroll from her mailbox. Unrolling it, she quickly discovered that it was only part of a letter. Somehow, it had gotten torn on its journey from earth to her and the last half of many of the words had been ripped away. How disappointing! She searched the mailbox, but it was
empty. Where was the missing half?
The letter was addressed to:
Lon
Hea
Clu
The missing letters were easy to guess:
Lonely
Hearts
Club
At least the message about her club had reached someone correctly! But with so much of it missing, she wondered how this letter had even found her.
The writing inside proved impossible to decipher. She would need someone supersmart to help her figure it out. Throwing open her door, she rushed down the hall to Athena’s room. But there was no answer when she knocked. Had her friends left for their trip while she was gone? No, they surely would’ve left a message for her since they’d promised to come by before leaving.
She rushed back down the hall to tap on the door to Artemis’s room, which was next to her own. She’d never been so happy to hear Artemis’s dogs bark in response. It meant her friends hadn’t left yet after all. Sure enough, the door opened and Artemis said, “Hey, come on in. I’m packing.”
Aphrodite eyed the messy room. There were bags of dog food and treats, dog toys, dog blankets, and books about dogs all over the floor. All three dogs were staring at her from the bed they shared, opposite Artemis’s unmade one.
“I was worried you’d already left!” Aphrodite exclaimed in relief. “Where’s Athena?”
“Probably in the cafeteria with Persephone. I was just about to go down there too. We couldn’t decide where to go on our trip, so we’re going to have dinner and then toss a coin. We’ll head out for wherever tomorrow morning.”
“I haven’t eaten either,” said Aphrodite. “Want to go together? Now?”
Artemis looked surprised at her hurry, but then shrugged good-naturedly. “Sure.” She looked at her dogs. “Enjoy your naps, guys.” They yawned and closed their eyes as she shut the door behind her.
The two goddessgirls headed for the cafeteria. It was only half as full as normal, since many students had already left on holiday. Athena and Persephone were sitting at the girls’ usual table.
“What’s that?” Athena asked the minute she saw the torn scroll in Aphrodite’s hand.
Aphrodite held it up. “A letter from a Lonely Heart. Well, half a letter.”
“Maybe it’s from a broken heart,” Artemis joked.
“I’m pretty sure it’s from a mortal writing to me for help. See?” Aphrodite unrolled the letter on the table for her friends to see. Pointing to the “Lon Hea Clu,” she said, “I’m sure this part says ‘Lonely Hearts Club.’”
“Hmm,” said Persephone. “The magic wind must have gotten ‘wind’ of your club and puzzled that part out in order to deliver it to you.”
Aphrodite nodded. “I was hoping you all could help me figure out what the rest of it says.”
Athena studied the letter, her interest caught. “I love puzzles.”
“Me too,” said Persephone.
“Ditto,” added Artemis.
Athena picked up the letter and read it aloud:
DEAR GODDES
I AM AN AMAZ
BUT ONLY A MO
I WANT TO FIND L
PLEASE HELP M
SIGNED,
SAD BOY IN C
You
Pyg
“‘You Pig’? He’s calling you a pig?” Artemis jumped up and grabbed the bow and quiver of arrows she always had at the ready. “Nobody calls a goddess a pig and gets away with it,” she growled. “I’ll hunt him down and make him apologize!”
“Calm down,” said Athena, giggling. “I think the whole letter probably said: ‘Yours truly, Pyg.’”
Artemis wrinkled her nose, plopping back down in her chair. “Still—he doesn’t sound promising for your club,” she told Aphrodite. “What girl wants a pig for her crush?”
“Just because his name is Pig doesn’t mean he is a pig,” said Persephone. “Besides, it’s probably only the beginning of a longer name. Like Pignificent or Pigmeister or something.”
“Oh, much better,” said Artemis, laughing.
“It’s Pyg with a y, not an i,” said Aphrodite. “And I believe there’s a crush for everyone, no matter what they look like or what their name is or how rich or poor they are. Still, I can’t match this boy with the right girl if I can’t find him. Can anyone decipher more of the letter?” she asked.
Athena scrunched up her face, thinking. “As best I can tell, he’s looking for something that starts with an l, and is hoping for help in finding it.”
“L for love,” said Aphrodite. “That part’s easy, anyway.”
“What are those squiggles and lines at the bottom? A map?” asked Persephone.
Athena nodded. “Probably showing his location.” She glanced at Aphrodite. “I’m afraid you’ll never find him with only half a map. And there’s no return address.”
“Where could C be?” mused Persephone.
“I know—China!” guessed Artemis.
“It could be any of a hundred places,” said Athena, shaking her head.
Suddenly, there was a loud banging outside the cafeteria window, as small bits of hail hit the glass. Everyone in the cafeteria turned to look.
“Zeus?” Persephone wondered aloud.
“I don’t think so,” said Athena. “His storms are wilder.” The student nearest to the window opened it.
WHOOSH! A magic wind blew inside and rushed here and there, ripping messages from the school bulletin board on the cafeteria wall. Then it headed straight for their table, blowing napkins onto the floor in its wake.
The wind whooshed around Aphrodite three times. “Godness!” she shouted, putting both hands on top of her head. “Stop it! You’re messing up my hair!” But when the wind lifted the half-letter from the table, she grabbed it and held it to her chest. “What do you think you’re doing? This letter’s mine!”
The magic wind replied in rhyme, as usual:
I must take it away.
Where to, I can’t say.
“Why not?” Aphrodite demanded.
The wind sighed.
I must speak in rhymes
and as far as I know,
there’s nothing that rhymes
with the place it must go.
“Give us a hint,” suggested Athena. “See if we can guess.”
As if needing a minute to think, the mischievous wind whipped around the room, lifting togas and chitons, causing godboys and goddessgirls to shriek and hold down the hems of their clothing. Then it whooshed back to their table and announced:
To a faraway land
with pyramids and sand.
“Egypt?” guessed Aphrodite.
That is righty, Aphrodite! the wind murmured.
She groaned. Sometimes a magic wind’s rhymes could get tiresome.
“But why take Aphrodite’s letter to Egypt?” Persephone asked.
The wind replied:
Isis commands it.
Isis demands it.
The four goddessgirls leaned their heads together over the table. “Who’s Isis?” Artemis whispered. But no one knew.
“I’ll take it to Isis for you,” Aphrodite told the wind.
When it replied, the wind sounded uncertain:
Highly irregular!
Not sure what to do!
It paused, then added:
Can you promise me
your word is true?
“Of course!” said Aphrodite. “Just tell me where—” But the wind had already whooshed back out through the window, before she could ask for a more specific address.
Aphrodite looked at the others. “How am I supposed to keep my word when I don’t even know who or exactly where this Isis person is?”
Persephone raised and lowered her shoulders. “Egypt is a big place.” It was, of course, what everyone else had been thinking.
“Let’s get some dinner,” Artemis told Aphrodite.
“We’ll think better on full stomachs.”
By the time they returned wi
th their trays, Athena and Persephone had figured out something more. “We think the C in the letterscroll might stand for ‘Cairo,’” said Athena. “That’s the capital of Egypt. Maybe you’ll find Isis and the boy who wrote the letter there.”
“Smart thinking!” said Aphrodite, opening her carton of nectar. Then a brilliant idea struck her. Looking around the table, she grinned at her friends. “Anyone up for a trip to Egypt?”
Athena’s face lit up. “I’ve always wanted to see the pyramids. And that means we could all be together.”
“Yeah. You know, there’s a flower in Egyptian paintings called the lotus. I’d love to see a real one,” said Persephone, sounding intrigued.
“What would I do there?” asked Artemis, munching her ambrosia burger.
“I believe the Egyptians are animal-lovers,” Athena told her. “Would that interest you? I’ve heard they consider their pets almost like family!”
“Really?” Artemis brightened. “Okay, I’m in.”
“Thanks, you guys!” said Aphrodite, feeling happiness bubble up in her for the first time since she’d found out her grade that morning.
“How will we travel?” asked Persephone.
“We can’t take my chariot,” said Artemis. “Going to Greece is one thing. But to get to Egypt, we’ll have to cross the Mediterranean Sea. My deer couldn’t make such a long trip.”
“How about my swan cart?” said Aphrodite. “I haven’t used it for a while, but it should still work. And it’s great for long-distance travel.”
“It’s smaller than my chariot though,” Artemis said doubtfully. “Will my dogs fit?”
“No, and even if they did, my swans are scared of them. Do you mind leaving them behind for a few days?” Aphrodite crossed her fingers under the table. She liked Artemis’s dogs, but they would be trouble on a long trip.
Artemis shook her head. “I can’t just leave them alone here. They’re my buddies. Who would take care of them?”
“I bet Hades would let them hang out with his dog,” said Persephone.
“They’d love Cerberus. And the Underworld,” Athena encouraged. “There are lots of places to romp and plenty of weird smells. A dog paradise.”
Aphrodite the Diva (Goddess Girls) Page 3
