by Davis, Mary
“Don’t!” she barked “I don’t want to hear any more. I can’t tell truth from your fiction.”
“It’s all truth.”
She grunted, and he thought it was best to let it go for the time being. He didn’t want to make it any worse.
The sedan reappeared just before they pulled up to the car wash. It had to be Sweeny. How had he managed to follow for so long without being seen? Roger just hoped his plan worked and punched in the car-wash code he’d obtained earlier.
Jackie sat silent—mad or frightened, he couldn’t tell. The roller brushes spun to life and started beating the van.
“I thought you didn’t like this kind of car wash because it scratches the paint.”
She sounded more angry. That was good. He didn’t want her scared. “I don’t, and it does.” It had taken some searching to find this one. “Unbuckle RJ.”
She scrutinized him but obeyed. “Why?”
“We’re going to be getting out.” The brushes rolled overhead.
RJ was unbuckled, and she was working her seat belt free. “In the car wash!”
“Just hurry up and unbuckle yourself too.” When the brushes started down the back window, he grabbed the diaper bag and swung around, scooping up RJ. He went out the driver’s door with Jackie close behind him. He was grateful he didn’t have to drag her along. Water dripped on him and down his collar.
At the other end of the car wash was a fenced-in dumpster. He swung open the dumpster gates where he’d parked his motorcycle sometime before and grabbed the helmets for Jackie and RJ. Jackie put on hers, then RJ’s while Roger stuffed the diaper bag in one of the leather saddlebags and donned his own helmet. “Get on the back.” He didn’t want to order her, but he also couldn’t let her challenge him.
Jackie climbed on without question. He hoisted RJ up, then sat down in front of both of them. He pulled out and tried to keep the car wash between him and Sweeny. He drove around for awhile to make sure they weren’t followed. Sweeny would be livid, but Jackie and RJ were safe—for now. Lord, thank You for getting us this far safely. Keep us ahead of him until I can make an inside contact I can trust.
He pulled into one of the low-end motels where he’d rented a room and parked behind the building. He led Jackie and RJ to the room farthest from the office and unlocked the door with one of the keys in his pocket. It wasn’t a great place, but it was inconspicuous, and they wouldn’t be staying long.
❧
RJ headed straight for the TV and patted the screen. “Mote?”
Jackie pulled the on button, and the box sparked to life, then hummed. She turned the channel knob to a PBS station, and RJ was content to stand a foot from the green cat walking along a fence. Everything was a sickly shade of green. No expense had been spared, she observed with disgust.
Roger stood at the window peering out, his gaze fixed on something enthralling. But what?
Jackie stepped over to the window and threw back the curtains. “Let the sunshine in!” It was cloudy outside. No more so than inside, she thought.
Roger yanked the curtains closed. “Don’t do that!” That was the sharpest he had ever spoken to her.
But she wouldn’t back down. “What’s so interesting out there? Hot babes? If you didn’t want them to know you had a family, why drag us along?”
He shook his head in exasperation before she turned and crossed the room. She hadn’t asked to come. She was an unwilling participant in this little oasis. Lord, what is going on here? How can You expect me to trust him after this stunt?
Other than the ancient TV, there were two double beds. She went to the far end of the room and set down the diaper bag, peeking into the bathroom. At least it was clean; even the rust stains in the sink sparkled.
She sat down on the edge of the bed closest to the bathroom and picked at a chipped nail, peeling it back to almost nothing. Roger had a gun! Was it to uphold the law or break it? Obviously he wasn’t a consultant for anyone. But who was he? She could sit here and wonder or do something. She rose and grabbed the diaper bag. “I want to leave.”
Roger left the window and strode toward her, hooking his arm around her waist as she crossed the room toward RJ. “I can’t let you do that.”
She stepped back from him. “Why not? Are we prisoners?”
“Of course not.”
“Why then?”
He raked a hand through his dark hair. “Because there are people out there who wouldn’t hesitate a moment to use you and RJ to get to me.”
“Who?”
“The less you know, Jackie, the safer you and RJ will be.”
“Safe? Are we safe?”
He sighed. “Of course you are, as long as you do what I tell you.”
Was that a threat? “It seems we are already in about as much danger as we can be.” It was a stab, but she didn’t care. “Can you at least tell me if they are the bad guys”—she swallowed hard—“or the good guys?”
He hesitated. “Both.” He returned to the window.
Did he mean the police were looking for him? For what? Who were the bad guys after him? And what did they want with him? So did this mean her husband was not only a marked man but a wanted man as well? The diaper bag slid off her shoulder and hit the floor with a thud.
Ten
The green cat was gone, and RJ was no longer satisfied with watching TV. He arched his back and started crying. Jackie tried to soothe him. She caressed his back and sang softly to him. She didn’t want to talk to Roger right now, let alone ask him for something. But tired and hungry were an unpleasant combination for her son. “RJ’s hungry.”
Roger turned from his vigil at the window. “There’s a bag of food in the corner.”
She found it and pulled out a box of graham crackers, a package of beef jerky, and a bag of apples. Down at the bottom were some juice boxes and a couple of cans of Vienna sausages, little “hot dogs” in a can. Roger had been thinking of his son when he bought this food. She also discovered two adult toothbrushes, a child’s toothbrush with a dinosaur handle and her brand of toothpaste along with some deodorant. He had thought of everything before he went to her house and kidnapped them. Everything was neatly planned.
She took a juice box and opened a can of sausages. RJ gobbled them down while she chewed on some jerky. She would have to remember how much he liked these mini hot dogs and buy him some when they got home— Would they ever go home again? she wondered. And where was Roger taking them?
He said people would use her and RJ to get to him. She didn’t want to be used. She just wanted her life back to normal. But when had it last been normal?
RJ lay down on the bed with his motorcycle tucked under his arm and watched dancing green bugs on a green stage with green tomatoes being thrown at them. It wouldn’t be long before he fell asleep from exhaustion. He hadn’t been getting the sleep he needed since Roger had reappeared. Neither had she.
Why was Roger doing this? Because someone was after him? But who? She hadn’t seen anyone. Was it a phantom enemy? She hadn’t known Roger that well when she married him. She thought she had a lifetime to get to know him. Roger was only strengthening her parents’ suspicions by his current actions. When they found out about this, they would hit the roof. She should call them to let them know she and RJ were safe—more or less. She crossed the room to the phone and picked up the receiver and began to dial.
Roger pressed the button. “You can’t call anyone.”
“My parents will be worried.”
“I left a note.”
“When?”
“With the balloons. It was to you, asking you to go away with me for a few days, but I’m sure they’ll read it.”
“You thought of everything.”
“It doesn’t pay to be careless.”
He said a few days in the note, but they hadn’t left town. “When can we go back home?”
“A few days.”
Was everything a vague answer with him? “How many? Two? Three?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a week.”
“I can’t miss a whole week of work!”
“I’m sorry it has to be this way. Just trust me.”
“Trust! You take us out of the house at gunpoint, and you expect me to trust you?”
“I did not point my gun at you.”
“You might as well have.” She was beginning to sound like her mother when she exaggerated.
She stalked over to the corner between the wall and the far bed, sat down, and closed her tired eyes. How had things come to this? What kind of drama were they acting out? She felt the danger Roger spoke of all right but strangely not from him. Why not? He was the one with the gun. Could she believe what little information he had given her? If both the good guys and the bad guys were after him, then what did that make him? Was he a good guy gone bad? Or a bad guy gone good? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know or was ready for the answers. Was this all for real or some elaborate scheme? Just because Roger had a gun and he said people were after him didn’t make it true. What if he was mentally ill and this was a delusion?
It was all too much. She pushed herself up from the floor, slipped into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her.
After a few minutes, she could hear him walk across the room and stop outside the door.
“Jackie?”
“What?”
“I need to know you’re still in there.”
“Are you crazy? Why would I leave? You have my son!”
“I don’t have him. You’re both here with me. I just want to make sure you don’t get any ideas about leaving.”
“So tie my ankles together.”
“I don’t have any rope, and even if I did I wouldn’t use it on you.”
Was that supposed to make her feel better?
“Jackie?”
She suppressed the urge to reply. He would just have to trust her. She heard him walk away from the door.
She sat on the floor and sobbed into her hands.
❧
Roger had heard the water turn off and expected Jackie to emerge at any minute. But she hadn’t. He knew the window in the bathroom was large enough to crawl through. After all, he’d chosen the room with that in mind. He had also heard her crying and almost asked if he could comfort her in any way, but he suspected she would refuse. He knew he was the likely cause. He would finish his job, then he could focus on his family and work at getting them back. Jackie would understand in the end. He had to believe that. Otherwise what hope was there? God was his hope, though, and He alone would see them through.
He could smell his son’s diaper from across the room. RJ had awakened a few minutes earlier and patted the TV to get him to turn it on. Something had to be done about the diaper. Jackie had changed more than her share. It was his turn now. He laid RJ on the bed, but the little boy twisted and turned to keep the TV in sight. Roger moved him so he could still see the green characters on the old set, then grabbed the diaper bag. He was hunting for a clean diaper when the bathroom door opened.
“What are you doing?” Jackie all but screamed as she hurried across the room and yanked the diaper bag from his hand.
He had hold of a diaper so several articles fell out of the bag when she pulled it away. “I was changing my son’s diaper. He needs a new one.”
“I’ll do it.” Her face was streaked with tears.
What was her problem? What was she afraid of? “I’m capable of changing a diaper.”
“Have you ever changed one before?”
Was she glaring at him? “I don’t think it’s that difficult.”
She stared at him, defiant, for long frozen seconds. Suddenly she started grabbing items out of the diaper bag. “You have to put this under him.” She handed him a folded plastic pad. “Use these to clean him.” She dropped a long blue plastic case labelled wipes next to RJ.
If he and Jackie couldn’t find a better way to relate to each other, maybe for RJ’s sake he shouldn’t be around much. No, two loving parents were always best. Once he could tell her everything, then maybe she would trust a little and not get so disturbed over something as simple as his changing his son’s diaper. She had reservations about him, justifiably so. He would be patient with her until this was all over and settled. Then they could sit down and try to talk everything out rationally.
Then again, perhaps he should grab her and kiss her until her reservations about him were gone. That wouldn’t likely happen, but a guy could have his fantasy.
“What are you smiling about? Is something funny?”
“Nothing.” He didn’t think she would appreciate his thoughts.
Jackie put the diaper bag on the floor away from him and watched every move he made. She obviously didn’t trust him to do it right.
Lord, help me to show Jackie she can trust me. Let her see I was trying to keep her from harm and never meant to hurt her.
❧
Jackie tried her best to ignore Roger, but it wasn’t easy when he was in her every thought. Roger was chewing on a piece of beef jerky and seemed to be sulking. Okay, so she was the one sulking, not him. He was just sitting near the window in a chair, tipped back against the wall with his eyes closed. She shouldn’t have reacted so strongly. It was just so startling to find Roger with RJ and the diaper bag. He was invading her belongings, her private possessions, without asking. He had no right to pry and snoop.
“Time for bed.” Roger’s voice shattered her daze.
She picked up RJ and made for the bed farthest from Roger’s window vigil. “We’ll sleep here.”
“Not if I’m going to get any sleep. You can have that bed to yourself.” He walked over to her and held out his arms for RJ.
She held onto him. “Why can’t RJ sleep with me?”
“Unless I have one of you close at hand I won’t sleep. And I didn’t figure you would volunteer to share a bed with me.”
She handed RJ over.
“Sleep with your clothes and shoes on.”
“My shoes?”
“Just in case.”
“Just in case what?” She gave her head a tight shake. She didn’t want to know.
After they were all settled into bed, one small voice rose in the darkness. “Mama.”
Jackie wanted to hold him. “It’s okay. Mommy’s here.” She could hear covers rustling.
“Settle down now.” Roger’s words were no comfort.
“Mamaaaa!”
“RJ, go to sleep. Mommy’s right over there. It’s okay.”
She could hear the struggle. You couldn’t rationalize with a two year old.
RJ began to cry, louder and louder.
She slipped out of bed and knelt on the floor next to the other bed and tried to soothe RJ with a caressing hand. He strained harder to get to her.
Finally Roger rolled to his back, releasing RJ. “My son’s afraid of me.”
RJ gripped her so tight he was nearly choking her, but his sobbing subsided. “He’s not used to you. And he’s overtired.” Those words would have to be enough for him.
She could hear Roger get out of bed; then she saw light from the window and his silhouette. She lay down on her bed with RJ and calmed him. Every once in awhile he would shudder. Her eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. She wanted to comfort her husband as well, but she just lay there. The conflict inside pulled her in opposite directions. She watched Roger move from the window to the chair he had propped under the doorknob. He sat in it and leaned against the door. He wasn’t actually going to sleep in that chair? But if he didn’t he couldn’t keep either one of them “close at hand.”
RJ’s breathing was steady. She tried to sleep, but her eyes refused to stay shut. She would close them, but they would spring back open with every little noise, real or not. She heard Roger move in the darkness. The bed dipped, and she could feel him curl up behind her. The covers pulled tight over her as he lay on top of them. He draped an arm over her waist. She sucked in a breath and went stiff.
&nb
sp; “I just want sleep. I’ll wake up if you try to leave,” he whispered near her ear. And soon his breathing was steady too.
She didn’t dare move but forced her eyes to close. She wanted sleep too.
Jackie woke from her dream to hear steady thumping against her ear and a warmth like a blazing fire still there. It was comforting. At the growl of Roger’s stomach, she jerked up onto her hands away from her toasty, comfortable illusion and stared down at him.
His eyes were coaxing her back as he tugged gently on her shoulders. “Please—I want to hold you. To pretend everything is back the way it was—for a little while.”
She wanted to forget everything and lie in her husband’s arms and pretend all was right and normal too. Her own heart betrayed her. How could she want to be here with this stranger? After all he had done. All she didn’t know. And how could she still love him? Their lives were some sort of lie, and yet her heart wanted to be beating next to his. If he knew how weak and vulnerable she was to him, would he use it against her?
“You’ll wake RJ,” Roger whispered.
Her muscles relaxed, and she was against his chest again. He had spoiled it. But they both got what they wanted. If he thought her motive was simply not to disturb RJ, that was okay. It made it easier than letting him know he was getting to her.
His light squeeze was a thank-you.
Love was a peculiar thing. It made no sense at all and was impossible to tame. Even now with all this, she wanted—wanted!—to be here in his arms. He seemed to want to protect her and keep her safe even without the envelope. She was more important. Or was it all a hoax? As strange as it seemed, this was where she wanted to be—with Roger—wherever. Her heart beating in sync with his. How? How could that be? How could she betray herself like that?
❧
Later that morning, Roger sensed deep inside the familiar warning for him to flee. “Time to go,” he told Jackie.
She quickly gathered her belongings and her son and preceded him out the door.
He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. The seemingly pleasant expression on her face confused him, and his insides stirred. What was she up to? Had she had a change of heart toward him? Or was she planning to escape?
