by Riley Hart
His balls drew up and his vision started to blur. Shane pulled out before he blew his load down Van’s throat. “Wanna come while you’re fucking me.”
“Then let’s do it.” Van pushed Shane off him so he fell on the bed. He swatted Shane’s thigh. “Let’s start on your stomach.”
Shane rolled over and Van opened the lube.
“Spread yourself open for me real quick,” Van instructed. Shane reached behind himself and spread his ass cheeks. Van dribbled lube in his crack, on his asshole before wetting his dick.
With Shane still holding his ass open for Van, he angled his dick toward Shane and pushed in, with one swift movement. They both exhaled together when Van bottomed out, stretching Shane’s hole so fucking good.
“I got it from here,” Van said playfully so Shane let go, grabbed the top of the mattress and Van bucked his hips, as he rutted into Shane with smooth, measured, precise thrusts.
The headboard banged against the wall. Shane’s brain rattled, but he liked it. Fucking loved it. “Christ, Van. You feel so goddamn good.”
“Yeah, I might want to be in you all night. Maybe all day tomorrow, too,” he replied as he pushed his fat dick into Shane over and over and over again. “I’m going to watch this video every day while you’re gone. Remember how hot and tight it is inside you. The taste of your skin and your sweat and your come. You make me so crazy, Shane.”
“You make me crazy too. I want to ride you.”
The second he finished speaking, Van pulled out. He lay on the bed and pulled Shane over on top of him. Grabbing the base of Van’s prick, he sat down, let Van’s thick erection fill him again.
How was he going to go weeks or months again without having this? Without Van in his bed?
Van’s hands grabbed his waist, blunt nails dug into his hips as Shane rode him as though he’d never get another chance. As though his life depended on it.
“I want to fill your ass, but I don’t want it to end, either. Jesus, you’re so damn hot inside. I want you to take me next.”
Shane wanted that too. Wanted it so bad, he could hardly stand it. He leaned over, kissed Van as he rose and fell on his dick. They were slick with sweat, hands slipping and quiet chuckles from Van that Shane swallowed down while Van did the same to him. The hold on him got tighter. Van’s breathing quicker. “I’m not going to be able to last much longer. Don’t come with me. Want you to do it inside me.”
“Then hurry and give me your nut, baby. Wanna feel it.”
“Fuuuck,” Van gritted out as Shane felt the cock inside him expand, felt it jerk as Van squeezed him so hard, he would leave marks, as he felt Van’s come unload inside him.
“Christ, I can’t wait.” He pulled off Van, felt his semen run down his ass crack. Shane pushed Van’s legs back, spit on his dick, letting the wetness blend with the slickness of the pre-come already there. It would have to work.
He pushed into Van’s hole. So tight and hot against his bare cock. Van cried out. Shane only pumped twice before he unloaded, before blast after blast shot into Van’s ass.
He fell on top of him. They were a pile of sweaty limbs and heavy breaths. Neither of them spoke as they came down, as they held each other. The bed was wet with all their body fluids and they lay in the middle of it.
They fell asleep like that.
Shane woke Van sometime in the middle of the night, kissing him. They made love slowly that time, kissing and whispering together as they did.
That time when Shane came in Van’s ass, he said, “I love you. Fuck, I love you so much.”
“I know,” Van replied. “I love you too.”
They didn’t leave the apartment all day Saturday. They fucked sometimes, made love others. Van painted and Shane watched. They showered together and ate together and just enjoyed being together while it lasted.
When Shane got on the plane the next morning, he left part of his heart behind.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Van wasn’t digging the long-distance thing.
The two weeks since Shane left had been even harder than the previous six weeks without him.
He’d never been in love before. Never wanted to hear someone’s voice every day and wake up next to them every morning and go to sleep with them every night.
He’d never missed someone like that.
When he first moved to Los Angeles, he hadn’t missed anyone. He’d been clinging to his freedom and possibilities and though LA still represented that to him because it always would and he would always love it, it was somehow claustrophobic now. How a place so large could feel that way he didn’t know but it did.
It was empty.
Lonely.
Because he wanted his man.
Jesus, this love stuff was different. Made him feel all sorts of things he hadn’t known he was missing.
“You’ve been quiet,” his friend Ian said. They were in their favorite West Hollywood bar, one Van had danced and drank at many times before, but he wasn’t feeling it tonight.
“I know. It’s slightly ridiculous but I miss my guy.”
“Jesus, you really fell for this small-town boy, didn’t you?”
Van cocked a brow at him. “You forget I was a small-town boy, too. And yeah.” He shrugged. “I love him.”
“The sex must be fucking incredible.” Ian visibly trembled.
Van took a drink of his Jack and Coke. “The sex is the best I’ve ever had. Incredible doesn’t even cover it.”
“Why doesn’t he move here?” Ian asked. “It’s fucking LA. Has to be better than where he’s at.”
“No. Not better. Different but not better.” Van hadn’t thought he would ever say that. He’d hated Last Chance for most of his life, but now he missed it. Missed the quiet of it. The closeness. Of course, that could be because he missed Shane too. “He has responsibilities in Last Chance. He can’t come here.”
“Shitty. You guys open then? So you can still fuck when you’re apart?”
Heat scorched through Van’s body. He’d kill anyone who touched Shane. Wouldn’t want anyone’s hands on him either. “Nope. That wouldn’t work for us. I’m a jealous motherfucker.”
“You never have been before.” He’d known Ian for years. They’d experienced a lot together—both coming from small towns to get away from family who didn’t know how to love them.
“I’ve never been in love before.” He winked before looking at his phone. “Speaking of…I have a Skype session in thirty minutes. I’ll talk to you later.” He tossed a twenty on the bar, kissed Ian’s cheek and went home to see his man.
*
Shane sat on his back deck, listening to the birds.
He was going to work in a few minutes, but found himself sitting out here for a while first.
He inhaled a deep breath, let it try to cleanse his lungs, and it didn’t work.
His house felt too quiet. He’d always enjoyed the quiet but now it was a loud echo in his ears.
He’d spent hours in his studio since coming home from LA. He and Van Skyped sometimes while he was working there. The shop was going well and his mom was on a long stretch of being okay. He’d been scared his leaving would cause her to break, had been on pins and needles for it but it hadn’t happened.
He should be happy.
He was happy.
But he was lonely too.
Fucking Van, coming into his life and changing it. He’d always been a loner but it was like he didn’t know how to be that anymore.
That was a problem when the man you wanted with you was a thousand miles away. When he knew that man wanted him just as much.
It was such a foreign concept to Shane. Van had looked at him with what he thought was hate when they were kids and then pity when he first came back to Last Chance. He couldn’t handle the pity. He never wanted someone to be there because they felt sorry for him.
But that wasn’t what they had now. They had truth and honesty. They fit. The closest he’d ever come to having someone
who he clicked with like that was Caleb, but they’d been kids then, so he couldn’t compare it.
“I’m losing my fucking mind.” Shane chuckled at himself. He went back inside, grabbed his keys and headed to the shop.
He and Ryan worked on separate cars today. They didn’t have anything major or pressing, and both vehicles would be done by end of business.
When he locked up the shop a little after five, Shane drove to Lucky Rose.
“Hey, you,” Libby said as she went to his table. “How have you been?”
“Pretty good,” he replied.
“You don’t look good.”
“I’m fine.”
“You should come to dinner at our house one day this week. Trace has been asking about you.”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Shane replied and he would. It was nice spending time with them.
“How’s Van?”
“He’s great. Busy. You know how it is. I’m hoping he can come visit in a couple months.”
She smiled down at him. “I’m glad you found him, Shane. I’m sure it’s not easy, him being there and you here, but you guys can make it work. I know you can.”
He smiled at her and hoped she was right. But what if they couldn’t? How could they last being so far away from each other? His father had left, and he’d lost Caleb all those years ago and the thought of losing Van too ate him up inside.
Shane ordered a chocolate mint milkshake. He’d drank about half of it when a shadow crossed over his table.
“Hey. Can I sit down?” Shane looked up and even though he heard the voice, was a little surprised to see Jonathan standing there.
“Go for it.”
Jonathan sat down. “Do you still talk to Max?”
“Van. And yes, we’re seeing each other,” he admitted and it felt damn good to say.
Jonathan shifted uncomfortably but seemed to catch himself. “Shit. He told me to call him that and I forgot. Anyway, I wanted to talk to him about his mom. I was upset things didn’t go better between them. I know she loves him.”
“Then she should call him and tell him.” He wanted that for Van if it was what was best for him, but his mom owed it to Van to reach out to him.
Jonathan looked down at the table. “I didn’t know. All that time, growing up…I didn’t know.”
There was real pain in Jonathan’s voice. It was obvious he was hurt by the fact that Van had kept all of that inside while they were growing up, but Shane wasn’t sure what it meant. He didn’t know if Jonathan could see Van as Van and not Maxwell. “Yeah, I know. Guess it goes to show you never know what someone is living with.”
“I owe you an apology.”
“Don’t.” Shane held up his hand. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago. We don’t have to do this.” The last thing he wanted was to dredge up his past with Jon.
“But I feel like we should do it. I treated you terribly, and then Caleb….”
Shane frowned and perked up at that. “Caleb?” he asked, his skin feeling clammy, his heart working its way to his stomach.
“This is embarrassing to admit, but I was pissed at him for the way he stuck up for you, after that fight in PE. You remember that?”
It was one of the many fights he’d gotten into with Jonathan. One of the only ones Shane had started.
“I told Max—Van—when I saw Caleb ditch, and then the two of us went to coach. Didn’t want him to get in trouble and get benched for a game, ya know? I had no fucking clue his parents would send him away.”
Shane sat up. Squeezed his hands together so hard his nails dug into his palms. Van and Jonathan had been the ones to tell on them that day? He was so in denial about who he’d been that he’d purposefully tried to get Shane and Caleb caught but only succeeded in getting Caleb sent away? When they fell for each other, Van hadn’t thought it was important enough to tell Shane that he’d been the one to take Shane’s only friend?
“Van knew this? Van was involved in getting Caleb caught?”
Jonathan’s eyes went wide. “No one meant for him to get sent away.”
“I like kissing you so much,” Caleb whispered against his skin. “I wish we didn’t have to go back to school.”
“Me either,” Shane admitted. “I can try to come over tonight, if my mom’s not bad.”
“Okay,” Caleb replied. “If not, I can come to you. I don’t want her to wake up and you’re not there. It’s more important for you not to get caught than me. I wish I could help you with her.”
Shane shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about his mom. “It’ll be fine.”
“Okay, you go first. I’ll sneak out afterward.”
Shane nodded and put his hoodie over his head. He began walking the long way around through the woods to get back to the school. If he cut straight through, there wasn’t enough cover. He’d come out right by woodshop where they’d see him.
The bell rang right as he made it back to campus. If Caleb didn’t hurry, he’d be late, but they’d done that plenty of times before and never gotten caught.
The rumors started by the end of the day. Caleb had been caught skipping.
Shane’s gut twisted and turned a million different directions. There was no way they’d know what he’d been doing out there. That he’d been kissing Shane. No way they’d know it was the two of them.
When he didn’t hear from Caleb, he waited until it was late to sneak over. He knocked softly on Caleb’s window, hoping he wouldn’t get caught.
Caleb slid the window open a small crack. “You gotta go,” he whispered soft and urgent.
“They’re that pissed about you skipping class?”
“They’re that pissed I was in the woods making out with another boy.”
Shane’s heart went a million miles an hour. “What the fuck, dude?” But then, why hadn’t he gotten called out of class? “Why didn’t I get in trouble too?”
“My parents just want to keep it quiet. They don’t want anyone to know.”
Because obviously, it was a tragedy for their son to like kissing other boys. So instead they’d let Shane off the hook and just Caleb would catch the raw end of the deal? “No. I’ll tell them it was me too.”
“They know it was you.” Caleb frowned. “I admitted it.”
Oh shit. They knew?
“It’ll blow over,” Caleb said. “I’ll get a hold of you when I can.”
Shane nodded, a rock in his gut that somehow told him it wouldn’t blow over. It wouldn’t be okay. “It doesn’t seem fair for you to be in trouble and not me.” Just to keep it quiet they were going to pretend Shane wasn’t involved? Was it really that fucking bad?
“Nah, it’s fine. It’ll be okay, Shane. You’re my best friend, ya know?”
Yeah…yeah he did. “You’re my best friend too. That’s why this doesn’t feel right.” Caleb was the only friend he had. The only person in the world who knew he was gay. The only person who knew him.
Shane’s eyes went wide and Caleb turned toward the door when there was a noise from the hallway. “Go,” he said and Shane ran. He ran and ran and ran until he got home.
That was the last time he saw Caleb. His family moved away a few days later.
And Van had caused it.
What other shit from the past was going to crop up during their relationship? He couldn’t handle the reminders of his past life and all the insecurities he’d lived with, all the reminders of what he didn’t have then, what he didn’t have now, and what he’d never have in the future. It was all too much.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Van smiled when Shane’s number flashed across the screen of his cell phone. “An extra call today. You must really miss me, huh? It’s okay because I miss you too.” He frowned when Shane didn’t answer right away, his stomach automatically tying in knots. “Is everything okay? Did something happen with your mom?”
“No,” Shane replied, his voice rough like sandpaper. “I talked to Jonathan today.”
The weight in
his gut intensified, got heavier. Fear gnawed at his bones. “Is it my mom? Is everything okay.”
“Shit,” Shane cursed. “She’s fine. I didn’t think about that. I promise she’s okay.”
But there was obviously something wrong with Shane. Something had happened with Jonathan so his muscles didn’t relax and his pulse raced a little too hard. “You’re going to have to help me out here, Shane. I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“Caleb,” Shane said. “You outed him for no reason. Do you know how messed up that is? And why? Because I was your punching bag when things were bad with your dad? Because he was friends with me? You dealt with a lot of shitty stuff in your life, I get that. I fucking do, and I’m sorry for it, but that doesn’t make it okay to purposefully out someone. Do you know what that can do to someone?”
Confusion lit a fire in Van’s brain. Caleb from when they were kids? “I’m not totally sure what you’re talking about, but if you’re going to be mad at me for something I did over twelve years ago, it should be what I did to you, not someone else.”
“You did do it to me!” Shane shouted, and then, “Can you honestly say you and Jonathan didn’t rat him out? That you didn’t decide to play around with someone else’s life?”
Van opened his mouth to reply but Shane started speaking again. “He was all I had,” he said with a hard edge to his voice. “He was all I had,” he added softly, more emotionally this time. “And you took him away to hurt me. To make you feel better about yourself.”
A sharp pain pierced Van’s chest. He felt like his heart had been ripped out. “Do you really think I’d do something like that? I know I fucked up a lot when I was a kid, but do you really think I would have outed someone without their permission?” Because the truth was, he hadn’t. He wouldn’t. He didn’t understand where all of this was coming from.
“You spray-painted fag on my house, Van.”
He winced. “I didn’t know you were really gay. It was just something we’d said…I hadn’t meant—”
