“I like his sinful ways,” I countered.
Porter and Zac chuckled from beside us. It was like I’d forgotten they were there with us. Even Laney smiled and tried not to giggle. I watched her fight it.
“It won’t matter,” she said. “I have never wanted any part of his sinful ways and they’ve tried to save me several times.”
I turned to him. “Do they not like you? Do you not get along?” My phone began ringing again.
“They love me. They like me just fine. We get along well enough, but I don’t buy into the cult-like thing they’ve got going.” He adjusted his weight so that he was turned more toward me. “It’s not just religious, going to church and shit. It’s far, far beyond that.”
I nodded as my phone rang again. It was getting easy for me to ignore.
“Answer the fucking phone,” Zac snapped, but after Laney turned to him with a warning look, he added, “Sorry. It’s just fucking constant.”
“She won’t stop,” I told him.
“Until you answer,” said Laney.
My mom hadn’t been calling nonstop all day. She’d take breaks. But apparently, when she got bored, I was the target. Maybe in the breaks she harassed Tegan.
“Listen,” Porter said as his hand came down to take mine. “I don’t avoid my parents’ calls, even though there’s almost no chance I’m going to like what they say. Sure. Mom or Dad will make sure I’m doing OK, but then I get a long list of shit I’ve done wrong that won’t land me in Heaven. Or ask me to the next retreat or tell me about the next group thing that will cleanse me. I say no thanks and move on. Avoiding her isn’t going to work.”
As if on cue, my phone came to life again. What they were all telling me to do was answer and while I didn’t want to, they were also right. I couldn’t avoid it forever. Not if I wanted to stay sane.
“Fine,” I said with a sigh as I snatched the phone off the end table. I had to reach around Porter to do it, which had him lifting his eyebrows. As if I were going to hop on top of him with Laney and Porter in the room. Instead, I gave him a scowl. “Hello,” I answered without looking at the ID. It was her. Of course it was.
And we were going to have the conversation with three sets of eyes watching me the entire time.
“It’s about time you answered, Rhian,” my mother spat into the phone. Even without her right in front of me, I could picture the look on her face. It wasn’t a happy one and she’d be talking through clenched teeth, almost snarling.
“Yes, well, now you have me. What do you want?” I pushed up and began pacing the room. There was all this pent-up nervous energy that demanded to be released.
“I know you were raised better than to talk to me like that,” she said.
“Is that why you’ve been trying to get a hold of me? To correct my behavior?” I asked. “Newsflash. That ship has sailed. You tried. You failed.”
Mother sighed on the other end. “No. That’s not why I called. Your father and I are still upset about how we left things. We’d like to make it up to you.”
All of my warning signs began blinking. DANGER. I could feel it like a brick in the pit of my stomach.
“How’s that?” I asked against my better judgement.
“Your birthday is Wednesday.”
“I’m aware.”
“We’d like to have a birthday dinner for you here that night. Formal, of course. There will be drinks and a band.” She paused and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “You can, of course, invite your college friends and we will invite your friends from here. Maybe a few of your father’s friends.”
There was so much code in everything she said. First, college friends meant Laney and any of the handful of other people I might still talk to that they approved of. It did not include Porter, though if I showed up with him, she’d deny it. Formal meant that she wanted to double dip and also make it a show for the school. The happy family façade. Third, my father’s friends meant people he wanted donations from. This wouldn’t be about donations. It’d be about “fun” but if he invited donors to non-fundraising events, they’d be more likely to open their wallets when the time came. All in the name of leaving a legacy of my family at that school. Kind of like inviting business associates to your daughter’s wedding.
“No thanks. It’s really short notice.”
“Rhian! If you would’ve answered your phone sooner, you would’ve had more notice.”
“No, really. I appreciate the offer, but I’m good. I don’t need all of that.” I glanced at the three of them watching me. “Is that all?”
“Rhian,” she snapped. “We need this to happen. You need to come.”
“Again, no thank you. Thanks for the call.” I ended our conversation then before it devolved into something even worse.
“See?” Laney asked. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“Speak for yourself.” I dropped back in beside Porter and tossed my phone onto the table. At least it would be quiet for a while.
“What’d she want?” he asked, but Laney turned her head my way as well. Apparently, they all wanted to know.
“Oh. She wanted to throw me a birthday party out of the goodness of her heart.”
Laney snorted, which was exactly how I felt.
But then I shrugged. “She needs an excuse to invite the big donors to a non-fundraising event.”
Porter’s face pinched together. “When’s your birthday?”
“Wednesday.”
“Two days? Were you going to tell me that?”
“I mean… I guess. I don’t know. I didn’t think about it.”
Porter’s jaw tightened and his lips thinned, as if this actually made him angry. I hadn’t intentionally kept it from him. I just hadn’t thought about it.
“Sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Laney and I don’t make big deals out of birthdays. In the past, she and I would have a night in for our birthdays. We don’t celebrate.”
“Maybe I want to celebrate you.”
I shook my head. “Not necessary.”
Porter groaned. “So why don’t you want to go to a birthday party for you?”
“As I said, it’s basically a game they play. It won’t be fun for me.”
“I think we should go,” he said, taking me by surprise.
“We?” I asked. “We who?”
“All of us if you want, but I meant me and you.”
“Fuck no.” I didn’t even need to think about it. Taking Porter into that rat’s nest wasn’t something I wanted to do. Ever. “They’ll treat you like garbage, Porter. They’ll treat me like an annoyance, but they’ll be awful to you.”
He pushed himself up off the couch and I followed. Having this conversation in front of Zac and Laney wasn’t exactly high on my list of things I wanted to do, but it was happening.
“So?” he asked, obviously angry by the way he was holding himself and the set of his jaw.
I shook my head. “Really? So?”
“I can take it.”
“I can’t.”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. He cocked his head to the side and his nostrils flared a little. Somehow me wanting to keep him from the humiliation that was my family wasn’t a good thing? What the hell?
While all this was going on, I tried not to notice the way Zac stared at a single spot on the floor without blinking. Or the way Laney would glance from me to him and back like she was watching a tennis match.
“Are you just going to keep up separate forever?” he finally asked through clenched teeth.
“What? Maybe. Why is this a thing right now?”
“Well, here I thought I had a decent idea on what exactly a relationship is. But I can adjust my expectations. I’m your East Branch boyfriend but not the one you want to take with you to your parents.”
Laney let out an almost inaudible gasp. That one hurt. Not quite a slap in the face, but close. “That’s an asshole thing to say,” I told him. “I don’t want to go home to my parent
s. Why in the hell would I want to take you there?”
“Because. They’re your parents. You will eventually see them again so why not now? Right now I can be there to protect you from their bullshit. Maybe help you put it to an end once and for all. Maybe this is where you fully cut ties. I don’t fucking know but I should be there to protect you.”
I held my had up. This was getting ridiculous. “I don’t need you there to protect me. I don’t’ need anyone’s protection. I can protect myself. I’ve been doing it this long. And I haven’t exactly met your parents now have I?”
“I’ll take you there right now.” His voice raised slightly. “Nothing has really given me a reason to go see them because if it had, I would’ve asked you to come. But it’s starting to seem like I’m only with you in East Branch.” His voice had taken on a calmness that I didn’t think was a good thing. Yelling was usually better. That way you knew exactly how the person was feeling.
“That isn’t the case,” I tried to assure him. “It’s them. I’m keeping them from you not you from them.” Then I groaned. “Fuck. I hope that made sense.”
“You haven’t even gotten a job here yet. You say you’re staying, but you haven’t actually started to put down roots.” He took a breath. “Have you even made up your mind?”
Ouch. As I tried to form a response, my mouth hung open. I couldn’t believe he thought that. Or I’d made him feel that way. Michigan was my home now. I thought I’d made that part clear.
“Look,” he continued before I could get any words out. “I know you don’t need me to protect you. Knowing that doesn’t mean that I don’t want the fucking chance to do it. I’m going to go. I’ll talk to you later.” Without giving me a chance to respond, he stormed out the door and before I could move, his car squealed away from the curb.
I turned to Laney having no idea what the fuck had just happened. How this whole evening fell apart. But one thing was crystal freaking clear. I hadn’t made my intentions clear. We hadn’t talked about my job search, mostly because I felt really stupid for not having one already. Maybe he thought I was looking outside of the East Branch area. Which would’ve meant moving.
“I’m going to talk to him,” Zac told Laney. Not me. He leaned over and dropped a quick kiss to her lips before getting up, giving me a nod that said goodbye and going out the door.
Laney sat on the edge of the couch cushion with her with her jaw clamped shut and her arms crossed over her chest.
Had I really just irritated every friend I had?
Chapter Twenty
What had just happened? How was Porter mad at me for not wanting to subject him to my awful parents? They were snooty. And judgmental. And ice cold.
“How did this turn sideways so quickly?” I asked the room in general, but Laney specifically.
She remained completely still on the couch. “Maybe because you’re not doing the best job of including people in your life and you basically punched Porter in the gut.”
I went over to the couch and dropped back onto it where Porter had been sitting. “What? I didn’t touch him.”
After shaking her head at me, she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Do you remember how you found me? When we met?” I nodded. “Crying in the girls’ bathroom down the science hallway. Do you remember why I was crying?”
“Because you felt alone,” I said quietly, trying to get where she was going before she got there.
“Yes, because I felt alone. But why?”
I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to answer her. I knew what the right thing to say was, but I didn’t want to do it.
“Because,” she continued for me, “my friends had abandoned me. Now I know they were hiding all kinds of things from me. My parents were hiding things from me and this summer you’ve hidden a few things from me. I know it’s not the same as with the others but it still happened. I know this is my issue to work through and I know you had your reasons for not telling me about Porter right away. But Porter is new to relationships and if I’m being honest, so are you.”
Tears began to burn the back of my eyes. “I know. I have terrible instincts. But you know what my parents are like. They don’t do it to you because they like you. You’re the daughter they wished they had.”
“Don’t say that,” she said quickly.
“You are. I’m OK with that.”
“What would you do if the two of you got married.”
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. “I—”
“I’m not saying you’re there yet. I’m saying what if that happened one day? He’d still never be allowed to be there for you where your parents are concerned? This is kind of dumb. It’s like him with his stupid name. Keeping this separate doesn’t work. My parents’ divorce taught me that.”
My eyes filled with tears. Damn it. I hadn’t meant to hurt Porter. “So let him meet then let them walk all over him.”
“Yup. He just wanted to feel like he’s protecting you and helping you. That’s something he would for sure do. The girlfriend thing was a surprise but protecting people he cares about isn’t. You dismissing him wanting to be there for you was the metaphorical punch I was talking about.”
I worried my lips together as I tried to look at the situation from his point of view. No, I didn’t understand it, but I shouldn’t have shut him down automatically. Then I did the only thing I could think of. After snatching my phone off the table, I pressed his name from my list of contacts. It rang. He didn’t answer.
“Damn it,” I muttered.
“Yeah. I’d give him some time,” she said as she stood. “My guess is he’s four beers in already, so I wouldn’t try talking to him tonight.”
I thought over what she’d said and I nodded. She was probably right. Actually, she knew him better than I did anyway, so of course she was right. Zac didn’t drink much or get drunk—only once as far as I knew. But Porter had never made that claim. I hadn’t seen him drunk, but given that this was his first relationship, maybe he’d want to drown his sorrows.
I told Laney I was tired and going to bed. She didn’t question it. Truth be told, she was probably grateful. Not having to talk to me when she was clearly annoyed might’ve been exactly what she wanted.
Maybe going home to the stupid birthday party wasn’t such a bad idea. Laney was irritated. Porter was mad at me. I didn’t think Zac was, but whatever. I could go, have it out with my parents where they could agree to respect my decisions or stop calling me. I couldn’t ask Porter to go with me, now could I? He was mad and besides, I’d made such a big deal about not needing him with me to do this, now I just had to prove that to be true.
I sent my brother a quick text telling him to get Mom to buy me a ticket for first thing in the morning using her miles. That was the only way I’d come. He agreed but said it wasn’t like he wanted to talk to her either then I added that I wanted to stay with him at his apartment.
He agreed to that as well.
Then I threw some clothes in a bag and went to bed. Before I fell asleep, Tegan sent a text with my flight info and I knew I had to be at the airport early.
In the morning, I didn’t bother to shower. I threw on some clean clothes, grabbed my bag and, ordered a ride share. Again, it was better to be dropped at the building than deal with even short-term parking.
The flight was delayed, though I didn’t know why, so I found somewhere to get coffee and hunkered down there. That was the first time I checked my phone that day. There were no waiting texts. Not hearing from Porter made me anxious.
I sent Laney a text, letting her know why I was gone and where I left my car keys in case she wanted to use my car or move it or whatever. Then I took a deep breath and pulled up a message from Porter.
Slowly I typed out what I wanted to say. I’m going to the party after all. Trust me. You’ll thank me later.
I kept waiting for an alert to come in any second, even with how early it was but none ever came.
After a few hours, I was able to board
my plane, where were again delayed on the runway. Man, it was like the universe didn’t want me to get to Pittsburgh. It was only an hour flight for goodness sake.
Finally, we were able to take off. Once we landed and deplaned, I honestly didn’t expect anyone to be there waiting for me and no one was. Tegan had to work and I wouldn’t have wanted either of my parents there.
Another ride share to his apartment later and I used the key he’d left me with his neighbor and let myself in.
Tegan lived in this great open-space apartment that used to be part of a warehouse. Exposed brick wall gave it an artsy feel and I knew I’d be sleeping on the couch, given he only had the one bedroom and I was fine with that. I’d rather be on a couch here than a comfortable bed in my spacious bedroom.
Being alone had never felt so lonely, so when my mother called to meet her at her favorite store to pick out a dress—probably from ones that she prechosen for me—at this point, I honestly didn’t care, so I didn’t argue.
I did what any dutiful daughter would’ve done. Called up a ride share and met her at the damn store.
“Rhian.” My mother greeted me with a hug void of any meaning behind it and a quick kiss on the cheek. All a show for one of her favorite salespeople. “You could’ve gotten dressed before leaving the house.”
Yup. I’d expected that too. I’d been on a plane with my hair pulled into a bun and absolutely no makeup on and I hadn’t taken the time to clean up. Not at all the way my mother would ever consider leaving the house.
“I can leave if that would make you feel better,” I said with a small smile. It was her choice honestly since I hadn’t wanted to come to this store in the first place.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’d have nothing to wear tomorrow.”
I waved my hand toward the dressing area. “Then let’s do this.”
With our own personal shopping attendant jamming me into one dress after another, Mom waved one finger in the air to dismiss the ones she didn’t like, probably reveling in the idea that I was going to let her choose.
A Little More Touch Me (The Fallout Series Book 2) Page 17
