by Rena Marks
But just as soon as I’m about to throw up, he shifts me. He puts me on my feet and now I suck in enough air to scream. As soon as I let loose, a hand covers my mouth and a gag is tied to me from the outside of the bag. Before I know it, something else is tied around my body, keeping my arms at my sides. Then the bag is pulled away from my nose and the covering is sliced from my nostrils. I’m picked up again, but the hold is bride-over-the-threshold style this time.
Whoever it is runs some more. The air on my exposed nose is bitter cold, and I almost wish he had left the bag covering me. At least breathing my own recycled air was warming it. It dawns on me the reason he cut away the fabric was because we were obviously going for a long time. A new fear hits me. What if my nose gets frostbite? Would Ash still want me ugly and disfigured?
Finally the running stops. I’m set against a wall, too stiff to move. I can hear movement in the cave, wherever we are. There’s a scraping sound as a rock is moved over the entrance. I wonder how long before the few hours of daylight are gone.
My heart is pounding and my skin is numb. My fingers and toes are starting to tingle, and it’s painful.
Then he comes and removes the bag from my face.
I blink, even though the lighting is low. But even the dimness in the cave doesn’t hide Cio’s image from my eyes.
The fire is roaring, but I’m still cold. So cold. The nitwit knows humans aren’t as warm as Blaedonians, but he’s still carried me away from the village.
Not a good sign.
I shiver, my teeth chattering. It’s partly from fear, though I’m not going to admit it. I’d rather pretend it’s the bitter air.
“Why?” I ask.
“You should have been mine.”
“That doesn’t mean you can steal me,” I protest. “Look, we had this conversation. I love Ash. I want to be with Ash.”
“Of course it does. If you can recall all your memories, you may recall that you preferred me over him.”
“But I don’t! And you’re going to be in so much trouble,” I say. “Take me back and we can pretend this never happened.”
He shakes his head. “Even if I agreed to that, it’s too late. It took us an hour to get here, and it’ll be dark very soon. If we leave this cave, we’re toast.”
A shiver of fear shoots up my spine, leaving the hair on the back of my neck raised. I’m stuck, all night long, in a cave without any hope of rescue.
With a crazy man.
“Look, I’ll say you didn’t harm me. No foul, no punishment, right? Let’s just forget this whole kidnapping-mate-stolen thing.”
“Not until you admit that you are only with Aschero because you don’t want this mating. You never wanted it.”
“It’s not true.”
He explodes. “Of course it’s true. Hell, you never agreed to being mated. In fact, you have no idea when you were mated. You fell unconscious from the overdose of medicinal tea. After three days, when it appeared you would die and not awaken, Aschero asked Drakar for permission to mate you and care for you until your death. You fell ill the night of Lucie and Rayhaan’s wedding. Do you understand? You never chose to mate Aschero. He asked Drakar for permission to mate you, and you were upset over it.”
The wedding? Sonofabitch. That’s why I can’t remember anything past the wedding. There is nothing past the wedding.
“What do you mean?” I know I’m puzzled, but I so badly need clarification.
He leans in. “You weren’t mated until after you fell ill.”
My mouth drops.
“You mean…after the medicinal tea overdose?” Surely that can’t be right.
He nods. “You mated while unconscious.”
There’s no way Aschero would do that to me. Cio’s lying.
I shake my head, and he looks frustrated. “Everyone is keeping it hush hush. But you’ll never remember any other events after Lucie and Rayhaan’s wedding. Because there are no other events to remember. Aschero mated you while you were down for the count.”
“You’re lying,” I say succinctly. “He would never do that.”
“He will and he did. Do you need proof?” He flings a pouch from his pocket, and for a minute, I flinch. More herbs.
“Are those drugs? I don’t want any more drugs. I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime.”
“If this is what it takes, so be it,” he announces, and comes toward me. I jump back.
“No. Get back. I don’t want any more.”
But he takes my jaw, and forces my mouth open.
Who knows what the effects of yet another dose of drugs in my system will do? He’s going to kill me if he forces me to take more, but he doesn’t seem to care. Rough fingers push something to the back of my tongue.
The dried bits of herb that Cio forces me to eat taste hideous, like dried dung. I gag them out and he looks at the amount I spit, and forces more into me. He’s rougher this time, and my eyes water from the amount, and the taste. Then I can’t breathe as he wraps fingers around my neck.
His eyes are cold as he holds my throat. When I try to suck in air, he releases and it makes me involuntarily swallow. I choke, my eyes tearing up. He gets me a waterskin, and I guzzle some down.
“They may find us,” he sneers. “But it is done. You will remember everything now, and you will surely reject Aschero and realize it is me you want to be mated to.”
I shake my head back and forth, trying to breathe deeply. But the cave is swaying dizzily. I’m barely aware of noises outside.
“Miranda,” Aschero shouts, and he’s being held back by Drakar and Rayhaan both. “What have you done to her?” he snarls to Cio.
“She will know the truth,” Cio says. “When her mind is free, she will leave you for me, for I am the one who offered her truth. You offer her nothing but lies. She knows now that she was mated while unconscious. That she did not choose to be with you. You chose it for her.”
“Cio, you have broken the laws of our people,” Drakar says.
Two of the hunters descend to surround Cio, while the rest swarm in. There are still two around Ash, as if they’re afraid he’ll kill Cio in a fit of rage.
He softly approaches. “Miranda? Baby, are you okay?”
Images are swirling around my head, back and forth so quickly I keep shaking my head. The pictures keep me dizzy.
“You tricked me into mating with you, Aschero?” I’m aware of how hurt my voice sounds. Was Cio right? How could he? But I need Ash’s verification.
Two spots of color burn on his cheeks. “I did,” he says. “You are mine. You were always mine and you will always be mine.”
“I’m human. You know we have a choice.”
“The choice is made.”
He’s being stubborn and pigheaded.
“Not by me,” I explode.
“What are your options, Miranda? Cio? The one who kidnapped and drugged you?”
I almost shudder. We both know Cio is not for me. Neither is Atan, nor Brit, nor Diont. Yes, I was sampling men by going down the alphabet. That was the old me. No, wait. That is the current me. I should not be mated, dammit. Wait, I was happy, wasn’t I? Now I’m confused, dizzy, and sick. In fact, I’m not even aware of why we’re arguing right now.
Aschero looks just as confused, and his features slowly swirl around his face. I blink my eyes repeatedly, to clear the vision.
I force my voice to calm. “I am so upset, I can hardly discuss this or even be around you. Please leave.”
His face pales. “Miranda, we are mated. And you are ill.”
“But the point is we shouldn’t be. Not only did I not have a choice, but when you had me, and I couldn’t remember a thing, you allowed us to have sex while mated without telling me the full consequences. That’s why I crave you.”
He sighs. “You are right.”
I blink. That is so not what I expected.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. No, you did not want to settle with one person. You fought the
relationship with me tooth and nail. When you first overdosed, none of us thought you would survive. I chose to mate with you so I may care for you at the end of your life cycle.”
Well, geez. Now I feel completely selfish.
“But you did not die. You woke, and it made me the happiest man there is. It is only then that I realized the ramifications of what I’d done. And then, consumed with guilt, is when Cio confronted me and threatened to tell you.”
I’m quiet, letting him go on.
“I knew I would have to tell you. But I could not risk losing you. Each day I tried to figure out the best way to do it, but my libido got away from me. We were mated, and you were so soft and beautiful, and so naked each night cuddled to me. I bathed you, and fed you. I know your body as well as my own. I know what I want from my life, and I tried to be patient while you figured out what you want. But Miranda, you are my temptation. I will never be strong enough to avoid not taking what is mine.”
I can feel myself softening. Really, what’s the big deal about a choice? Probably if he would have asked me to mate with him, the way Rayhaan did Lucie, or even the way Drakar and Niki mated, I’d still be with him. My only issue is not letting anyone find out about Michael. The man I killed.
My hideous secret.
“We’re tied together for life, aren’t we?” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “We were meant to be mates. It is a gift that our souls found each other. We were born on separate planets.”
“So the real reason why my memories weren’t coming back to me since Lucie and Rayhaan’s wedding was because there weren’t any. I thought a lot of time had passed because of the shortened days. In actuality, it hasn’t been that long.”
“That is correct. The days are lengthening now. They will move just as quickly and soon it will be the next wet rain.”
It all makes sense. The seasons seem to be shorter here, because the wet moons are an entire month. They’re almost like their own little season. It’s hard to estimate time here, because they don’t keep calendars. Or clocks. Or anything that we’re used to.
“We never decided to hold off on children,” I realized.
“No. But I knew that was a decision you would want to make. But our bodies will know when it is time. As Rayhaan says.”
It seems he does know me well. And truth be told, I love Ash. I always have, even when I fought it. The anger seems to have dissipated. In fact, I’m not sure if it was anger or just a hot flash from the drugs. It’s left now, but my neck is clammy. Something trickles across my temple and I wipe it, then stare at my hand.
It’s bloody. I wiggle my fingers, and the blood glitters. Ash looks confused, but I continue speaking.
“So where do we go from here?”
“I hope you wish to continue on. With me.” He takes a deep breath. “We have felt the mating call. It is why we crave each other. It is permanent. It is for life. No one else will ever interest you. Nor will anyone else interest me.”
“Okay, Ash,” I say. “It seems it’s you and me against the world.”
“Yes, baby. You and me. Together forever.”
“Ash,” I ask, still staring at my hand. “Is this blood?”
I hold up my bloody fingers that I wiped my forehead with.
“No, Miranda. It is the drugs he gave you. You are sweating, and that is what you wiped.”
But my fingers are soaked in thick, red blood. As thick as Michael’s was. I begin to panic and Aschero steps closer, but I hold my bloody palms up to keep him away. “Don’t,” I plead. “Stay back.”
Rayhaan has his hand on Ash’s shoulder.
“It’s blood on my hands. Don’t you see that?”
The hunters move closer, and while my mind knows it’s them, my eyes see something different. Giant spider-bugs, with swollen skin that I should know is fur clothing, but somehow I don’t. They’re blue and black, each with four arms and four legs. One turns and I realize the back of him holds another face, like two beings merged as one. I scream, and they hesitate.
“Miranda, have some water. I hope it will dilute the orshaul he’s given you.” I can hear Adretta in the back of the cave, and suddenly I know this is a trick. Adretta is banished to her own cave and should have no business in this one. No, this whole scene must be a giant delusion.
Insect-like clawed hands in black, covered with a black fuzz stretch out. It looks like a many jointed leg of a spider. It places a waterskin at my feet. But I’m thirsty, so I grab it viciously, and bring it to my mouth. The liquid is cold and refreshing and it soothes my burning throat, easing the raw bitterness in my mouth. Then I wash the blood off my hands.
“I won’t have blood on my hands. I won’t,” I chant, momentarily forgetting the spiders in the cave watching me curiously.
I take another swallow of the water.
“That’s it. Drink it up,” the creature across from me encourages. He sounds like Aschero, but, I shudder. It’s not. He’s hideous.
I hiss at him. Why is he trying to trick me? I fling the skin at him, forcing him back.
“It’s me, Miranda. Ash.”
“Get away,” I snarl. I know Ash and this…this thing isn’t it. I hear a female voice that sounds like Adretta come from another bug-like creature near the wall.
“Leave her,” she says softly. “Her mind is too far gone.”
I will never forget the Adretta-spider tried to fuck her way to the top of the tribe. She made Lucie’s life hell and almost got Lucie to leave the planet. There’s no trusting that one.
If that’s her.
I shake my head, trying to clear the images of her face and the insect face that keep merging together, but they keep swirling back and forth. “What sort of trick is this? Adretta was banished to another cave. How can you have a creature here that sounds like her?”
A spider who sounds like Rayhaan speaks. “It is Adretta, Miranda. I was hunting in the vicinity of her cave, and did not see any footprints in the snow. I went to see why Cio hadn’t released her and she said he’d never been to the cave. We knew something was up. One hunter was dispatched to the village and the rest of us gathered. We agreed to meet at the second level cave. Here we found footprints outside, and the hunter we had dispatched returned to say Cio was not there and that you were missing.”
I shake my head, but it doesn’t stop. It feels like involuntary twitches.
“Damn you,” someone else says. “You knew she was recovering from the medicinal tea.”
“It was out of her system,” the arrogant voice of Cio says. “Yet she didn’t recall whole bits of her life. Like being mated. Why is that? I simply prove to her why she does not recall. Because being mated to Aschero is a sham. Miranda never had a choice, and if she did she would have picked me.”
“She would never have had you.” Aschero’s voice snarls, but it’s not his face. “You chose to reveal the truth at the risk of harming her. Even risking her death in the elements with the night so near.”
I close my eyes, and that’s much better. I can hear them without being confused by the awful, scary images.
“Get the boulder in front of the door,” Drakar says. “Here come the creatures.”
Oh hell. On top of everything else, I have to listen to monsters pound the walls to get in now that they know we’re in here?
“Miranda, I’m sorry,” Aschero says. “I only want what’s best for you, my love. I wish I could give you something to counteract the orshaul, but it’s dangerous. This night will be hell, but tomorrow we will bring you home.”
I howl, because cramps are sailing through my limbs, jerking my body in mini-convulsions. My eyes open and several of the spiders flinch.
Oh yay, good spiders. Great, big, huge bugs with emotions. Ugh, I don’t know what’s happening, I’m so confused. My mind is swirling a mile a minute.
One of the spiders begins to light a fire, and it looks ridiculous. I slide from the chair and back away from the one who pretends to be Ash. He allows it
, and just sinks to the ground with me. It makes him less intimidating, less scary somehow. The one with him does the same, and soon they all follow. We’re all lying on our bellies on the ground, except for one. One spider is tied up.
“If anyone tries to touch me, I’ll kill you all,” I snarl.
“No one will touch you, my mate.”
Good lord, this one still thinks I’ll be his spider queen. Lunatic.
But I lay just inches from him, lying on the ground, staring into his eyes. He reaches out with his strange spider hand, just holding it outstretched in front of me. I bring mine to his and touch my palm to his strange, furry skin.
I pass out for a bit.
Chapter Ten
Somber chanting reverberates through my aching skull.
I open my eyes to see flickering flames. I turn to see where I’m at, because the cave feels different. The spider is no longer lying next to me.
I jerk to sit, but I’m tied down. How could I have been so stupid as to fall asleep with a cave full of spiders?
The ten other human girls surround the raised nest I’m on. The bed being so high means one thing, I’m in the healing hut. Reverent mother must be nearby with the constant stream of chanting.
“She’s awake,” Niki says and her eyes are large. “Miranda? Honey, I’m so sorry. We tried to protect you.”
“From what?” I ask, and my voice sounds tortured, like it’s being wrung from me. Like I don’t want to speak, but someone is forcing it from my throat. Weird. It must be the after-effects of whatever drug Cio fed me.
Lucie steps up. “You confessed to everything while you were unconscious. We tried to hush you, but you confessed.”
A tingling terror rushes through me. “Confessed?”
Surely not.
Lucie nods. “Yes, don’t you remember what you told Jessie on the ship?”
My God. Everyone knows. I look at the rest of the faces. Tessa looks sad, Jezebel looks scared. Jillian looks worried. Valencia is horrified.
“Guys…” I begin. “I didn’t mean to.”
“No more lies,” Niki’s voice is sharp now, and loud. She’s cruel. I wince, the volume hurting my sensitive ears. “We heard everything, Miranda. Face it. You know damn good and well you meant to.”
