But Lisa kept this secret just as she kept all the others. Lisa loved math, however, so she taught herself the lessons in her math textbook and did the homework as if she had a regular math teacher and not the “popular” Mrs. Darren.
Yet somewhere between addition and subtraction, Mrs. Darren lost control of her class. Will and David sat in the back row shooting spitballs at everyone, including Mrs. Darren. Becky and Cathy played tic-tac-toe. No one was paying attention to the teacher.
So Mrs. Darren thought of a plan. A humorous plan. She would tell jokes about her small-town life to make the students listen to her and laugh with her. She would regain control of her class and continue her reign as the most “popular” teacher at Wyatt. She began by telling jokes about the old men playing dominoes. But no one laughed. She then told jokes about the nursing home. But no one laughed. Then she told jokes about the funeral home. But no one laughed.
Mrs. Darren became desperate. And then she remembered Miss Henrietta Grimes. Miss Grimes was born with a cleft palate and cleft lip, and she did not speak very well. When Mrs. Darren was a child, she and the other children in the small town would mimic the way Miss Grimes talked.
“Of course,” thought Mrs. Darren, “I’ll mimic the old harelip Miss Grimes, and the children will love me!”
And so on the second week of school, Mrs. Darren began to mimic Miss Grimes’s speech to Lisa’s class.
“Attention, class,” said Mrs. Darren. “I have a really funny story to tell you this morning.”
The class continued to run amok.
“Class,” Mrs. Darren yelled, “stop what you’re doing and listen to me!”
Will hit Mrs. Darren with a spitball.
“Well, two can play this game,” thought Mrs. Darren.
Mrs. Darren began to mimic Miss Grimes.
“Gunnd mawning, cwass,” droned Mrs. Darren.
The class became silent.
“There was a lady in my town who talked like that—pretty funny, huh?” said Mrs. Darren.
Some of the children began to laugh.
“She would say, ‘I wanna sum hunny.’”
More children began to laugh.
“Then she would say, ‘Hunny buttah.’”
Everyone in the class was now laughing uproariously. That is, everyone except Lisa.
Lisa had tears in her eyes. Her hands were shaking. Her stomach was upset.
“Is everyone laughing at me?” worried Lisa. “Why would Mrs. Darren do this to me?”
Lisa began to cry. She knew why Miss Grimes talked that way. Miss Grimes had a cleft palate and cleft lip just like Lisa. But apparently, Miss Grimes didn’t get speech therapy like Lisa did. Lisa didn’t talk funny because her speech therapist helped her to talk normally. But Lisa’s normal speech couldn’t stop Lisa from being hurt by Mrs. Darren’s joke. And Mrs. Darren would continue to use this joke for the rest of the school year. Lisa was too scared of Mrs. Darren to tell her parents about the cruel joke.
Lisa would need a lemon drop hug from Ozella and a piece of banana taffy from Katie to stop her tears from falling.
Chapter Ten
The Governor
It was a Sunday in September. But this was no ordinary Sunday. This was the Sunday that Lisa was going with her parents to see the movie Funny Girl. The movie was playing at the palatial Paramount Theater in downtown Montgomery. Barbra Streisand was starring in the movie, and Lisa thought that she was very pretty.
Lisa was wearing a new dress for the occasion—a long-sleeved burgundy dress with antique gold buttons. Accompanying the dress were white ruffled anklet socks and black patent leather Mary Janes. Ozella was babysitting the other children, and she gave Lisa a big hug as Lisa left with her parents.
“Sissy, you look beautiful,” said her father while driving the three of them in his car.
“Yes, your new dress is gorgeous,” said her mother.
“Thanks, Mama and Daddy—I’m so excited!” exclaimed Lisa.
“We have some surprises for you, Sissy,” said her father. “Before the movie we are taking you to Capitol Book and News and Morrison’s Cafeteria.”
“Oh, boy, I can’t wait to pick out a new book,” said Lisa.
“Yes,” said her mother, “and be sure to save room for a slice of pie at Morrison’s.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Lisa, “I love Morrison’s.”
Mr. Parker drove his wife and oldest daughter to downtown Montgomery, where he parked in front of Capitol Book and News, Montgomery’s oldest bookstore. Lisa jumped from the backseat onto the asphalt and from the asphalt onto the sidewalk. As she opened the door to the bookstore, a bell chimed. Once inside Lisa headed past the newspapers, biographies, and fiction to the children’s section. Rows and rows of children’s literature awaited her.
The bottom rows contained picture books for babies, toddlers, and young children. Then came rows and rows of chapter books for older children and young adults. Lisa was in heaven. Once a month her father let her purchase a book here.
Today Lisa found three of the chapter books that she would be reading in Miss Loomis’s class—Treasure Island, The Secret Garden, and Little Women.
“What did you find, Sissy?” asked her father.
“I found three books we will be reading in Miss Loomis’s class,” replied Lisa.
“Do you already have these books?” her father asked.
“No, sir, we won’t get them until later in the school year.”
“I will buy them for you now so that you can begin reading them ahead of time,” said her father.
“Thank you, Daddy,” said Lisa.
“You are welcome, honey. Now pick out another book just for fun,” said her father as he picked up the three chapter books.
Lisa knew just what book she wanted. It was her favorite library book at school. It was called Mr. Nobody and the Umbrella Bug by Stoo Hample. It was a picture book for older children. Lisa looked through the rows of picture books. It wasn’t there. Lisa looked through the rows of chapter books. It wasn’t there.
“What are you looking for, Sissy?” her father asked.
“I’m trying to find Mr. Nobody and the Umbrella Bug,” said Lisa.
“Do you know the author?”
“Yes, sir,” said Lisa. “It’s Stoo Hample. But I’ve searched through all the children’s books, and it’s nowhere to be found.”
“Sounds like a job for Mr. Hardy,” said her father.
Mr. Robert Hardy was the bookstore’s owner, and he prided himself on being able to find almost any book in print. His desk was in an elevated square-shaped space in the middle of the store.
Lisa and her father walked to Mr. Hardy’s desk and looked up. Perched at his desk sat Mr. Hardy smoking a pipe.
“Hello, Bob,” said Lisa’s father.
“Hello, Arthur,” said Mr. Hardy. “And how are you, Miss Lisa?”
“I’m fine, thank you, sir,” said Lisa.
“Bob, Lisa has a book order,” said Lisa’s father.
“Well now, tell me all about it, Lisa,” said Mr. Hardy.
“Please, sir, I would like to order Mr. Nobody and the Umbrella Bug by Stoo Hample,” said Lisa.
“Now what kind of bug was that, Lisa?” Mr. Hardy asked while writing the order on a form.
“An umbrella bug,” said Lisa.
“And how do you spell the author’s last name?” asked Mr. Hardy.
“H-A-M-P-L-E,” said Lisa.
“I’ve written it down,” said Mr. Hardy. “I will call you when it arrives.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Lisa.
“And, Bob, we’d like to buy these three chapter books,” said Lisa’s father as he handed the books to Mr. Hardy.
Mr. Hardy wrote the names of the books and their prices on an invoice. He then added the prices together and calculated the tax to arrive at the grand total.
“That’ll be twenty-three dollars and ninety-five cents,” said Mr. Hardy.
Lisa’s father
reached for his wallet and pulled out some bills.
“Here’s thirty dollars—apply the change to that umbrella book,” said Lisa’s father.
“Will do,” said Mr. Hardy, chuckling to himself.
Mr. Hardy placed the three books in a paper bag together with a carbon copy of the invoice and handed the bag to Lisa’s father.
“Good-bye,” said Mr. Hardy.
Lisa’s mother had been browsing through the historical-novels section of the bookstore all this time. She walked up to Mr. Hardy’s desk just as Lisa’s father finished the book purchase.
“Time to go to Morrison’s,” said Lisa’s mother, smiling.
“I’m getting hungry,” said Lisa.
Lisa’s father drove them around the corner to Morrison’s Cafeteria. The Paramount was down the street, and Lisa’s father parked the car midway between the restaurant and the theater. The three walked down the sidewalk to Morrison’s and entered the restaurant. They each took a tray and proceeded down the cafeteria line, where they pointed to dishes that they wanted to place on their trays. Lisa got a hamburger steak, mashed potatoes, English peas, and strawberry shortcake. Negro waiters carried their trays to a table in the next room, where they placed the bowls, plates, and glasses from the trays onto the table.
Lisa walked with her parents into the dining room. Lisa’s father waved at a gentleman at another table and then ushered Lisa and her mother to the gentleman’s table. It was none other than Gov. George C. Wallace. He was seated with his bodyguard. He smiled at Lisa.
“Hello, Governor,” said Lisa’s father. “You remember Penelope and Lisa, sir.”
“Hello, Arthur,” said Gov. Wallace. “Of course I remember Penelope and Lisa. Come here, Lisa, and give me a hug.”
Lisa walked up to the Governor, placed her arms around his neck, and hugged him. She noticed that he had thick brown eyebrows and brown hairs on his forearms.
“What brings you downtown this evening?” asked the Governor.
“Why, Governor, we have brought Lisa to see Funny Girl for her birthday,” said Lisa’s father.
“Is today your birthday, Lisa?” asked Gov. Wallace.
“No, sir, my birthday was August twenty-sixth,” said Lisa.
“August twenty-sixth—why, my birthday is August twenty-fifth! We should celebrate together next year,” said Gov. Wallace.
“Yes, sir, Governor,” said Lisa excitedly.
“Lisa, tell the Governor about your new teacher, Miss Loomis,” said Lisa’s father.
“My new teacher is a Negro,” said Lisa. “She is very nice.”
“Well, it’s a small world,” said the Governor. “That’s wonderful, Lisa. You children need to make her feel welcome at your school.”
“Yes, sir, Governor,” said Lisa.
“Governor, how goes the presidential campaign?” asked Lisa’s father.
“Great,” said the Governor. “We’re picking up speed wherever we go!”
“That’s wonderful, Governor,” said Lisa’s father.
Lisa noticed that Gov. Wallace was eating a hamburger steak with ketchup on it.
“He’s eating the same thing I am,” thought Lisa.
Lisa and her parents excused themselves from the Governor’s table and proceeded to their table, where they shared an enjoyable meal. Soon it was time to walk to the Paramount to see Funny Girl. Lisa liked the movie and its songs. But Lisa didn’t like the title of the movie. It reminded her of the mean boys. The mean boys made fun of her funny nose. The mean boys treated her like a “funny girl” because of her nose, but she didn’t feel like singing.
That night Lisa dreamed that she and Gov. Wallace were celebrating their birthdays together at the Little White House of the Confederacy in downtown Montgomery. They were seated in the formal dining room, and Miss Loomis was in the room too. Lisa noticed that Miss Loomis was wearing a servant’s uniform, and she was carrying a huge birthday cake to the table. The candles on the cake were in the shape of white crosses, and they were on fire. Try as they might, Lisa and Gov. Wallace could not blow the candles out. The white candles then turned into white doves, which flew around the room trying to get out. Lisa awoke from the dream and wondered what it meant.
Chapter Eleven
The Fair
September heralded the Alabama State Fair in Montgomery. Mrs. Cartwright and Cathy had asked Lisa to be their guest at the fair this year. After obtaining permission from her parents, Lisa gladly accepted their invitation for Saturday. As the big day approached, Lisa’s mother was full of warnings about the fair.
“Pay attention, Lisa, and don’t get separated from the Cartwrights,” Mrs. Parker warned.
“Yes, ma’am,” Lisa replied.
“Don’t ride any rides that are too fast or too scary,” Mrs. Parker said.
“Yes, ma’am,” Lisa replied.
“And watch your money at all times—those carnival operators will steal anything they can.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Lisa replied. “Daddy is giving me five whole dollars for the fair!”
“I know,” said Mrs. Parker. “And stay away from the games—they are rigged so that you will lose.”
“But I want to try to win a stuffed animal,” said Lisa.
“Well, if you lose all your money, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Mrs. Parker.
“I’m not going to lose all my money,” said Lisa. “Besides, I want to buy gifts for Bubba, Mark, and Elizabeth.”
“That’s very nice of you to think of your brothers and sister, but I want you to have fun, too,” said Mrs. Parker.
“I will,” beamed Lisa.
The day arrived, and Mrs. Cartwright drove Lisa and Cathy to the fair. Lisa and Cathy wore bell-bottomed hiphuggers and carried suede purses.
It was a cool, crisp fall day—a perfect day for walking up and down the midway. Before reaching the midway, the threesome had to pass through the 4-H livestock section. The pungent smell of manure mixed with animal sweat greeted them.
“Phew,” said Cathy while holding her nose.
“I want to see the baby pigs,” said Lisa.
“But it stinks,” said Cathy.
“The pigs are over there,” said Mrs. Cartwright, pointing to a pen in the corner.
Lisa and Cathy saw a mother pig nursing her piglets.
“Look, he’s just like Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web. He’s so cute!” Lisa exclaimed while pointing to a piglet.
Lisa had been in love with pigs since she read Charlotte’s Web three years ago. Wilbur the pig became her imagined pet. She begged her father repeatedly for a pet pig just like Wilbur from the book. She imagined putting a baby bonnet on the pig and strolling it in the baby stroller. Yet her father always refused. He said that pigs were not allowed to live in city neighborhoods and that pigs grow up to be enormous hogs. Lisa resolved herself to a Siamese cat and a basset hound.
Lisa’s favorite book was Charlotte’s Web, and she used it for her book report two years in a row. She made a shadow box of the book complete with a plastic Wilbur. Lisa was told that she had to choose a different book for the next year. Yet Lisa never chose a different favorite pet. Why, she even had her father take a Polaroid of her and a pig at a petting zoo.
“Lisa, it’s time to go—I want to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl,” said Cathy while pointing to the midway.
“OK, bye-bye, little Wilbur,” Lisa said dreamily.
The three left the farm animals and headed for the midway.
“Look up ahead,” Cathy said. “I spy candy apples.”
“Oh, boy,” said Lisa, “caramel apples are my favorite!”
“Let’s go for a ride first,” said Cathy.
“OK,” said Lisa. “I see the Tilt-a-Whirl on the left.”
“Mom,” said Cathy, “we want to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl, please, please, please.”
“OK,” said Mrs. Cartwright, “here’s the money for two tickets.”
“I brought my own money,” said Lisa.
�
��I’m paying for the food and the rides—save your money for games and toys,” said Mrs. Cartwright.
“Thank you so much,” said Lisa.
The two girls bought their tickets and took their seats in a car. In the car behind them, two Negro children were seated.
“Don’t seat my girls next to Negroes,” Mrs. Cartwright yelled to the carnival attendant. “Move them now.”
The carnival attendant walked to Lisa and Cathy’s car.
“Get out, girls—I’m moving you to a different car,” said the attendant.
“Is there something wrong with this car?” asked Lisa.
“No,” said Cathy, “there’s something wrong with that car.” She pointed to the car with the Negro children inside.
“But I don’t understand,” said Lisa.
“My father told me that whites are not supposed to mix with coloreds,” said Cathy.
Lisa hoped that the Negro children did not hear what Cathy had just said.
The attendant moved Lisa and Cathy to a seat away from the Negro children. The attendant then fastened their seat belts, and they were off on a spinning, tilting ride. Both girls were screaming but smiling too. When the ride was over, Lisa had trouble regaining her balance.
“Time for a game,” said Cathy.
“Win a stuffed animal—pick a color, any color—only a quarter to win,” yelled the carnival barker.
The girls eyed the game.
“It’s easy,” said Lisa. “You put a quarter on a color; he throws a ball into the color pit, and if the ball lands on your color, you win.”
“I’m going to put a quarter on red,” said Cathy.
“I choose green,” said Lisa, who put her quarter on the color green.
The carnival barker threw the ball into the pit, and it landed on green.
“I won, I won!” screamed Lisa. “I want a Snoopy dog.”
The stuffed animals were hanging from the ceiling. The barker took down a Snoopy dog and handed it to Lisa. Lisa noticed that the animal was stuffed with Styrofoam pellets instead of cotton batting and that the animal didn’t quite look like the Peanuts character Snoopy. But she loved him just the same.
“Congratulations, Lisa,” Mrs. Cartwright said. “I’ll hold that for you.”
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