Sometimes Sophie really can be weird.
Tuesday, 4:32 p.m.
I’m tossing Sophie’s sexual tension theory out the window. I didn’t hear from Matt all day. I was hoping I would, as I spent most of the day in my PJs watching cartoons with May and June and eating stale cereal. By 2:00, when I hadn’t heard from him, I took the highly unexpected step of cleaning up my room. I thought for sure the good karma created from doing something Mom had been asking me to do for weeks would net me a text or a phone call.
But it didn’t.
6:02 p.m.
OMG!
Mom didn’t ask me to walk Gilligan before dinner, but I did it anyway, hoping I’d see Matt, and I did. He was in his front yard, throwing a Frisbee to his dog. I actually regretted that I’d decided to walk Gilligan, because I didn’t want it to seem like I was looking for him, but when Matt saw me, he waved. “I was going to call you tonight,” he said from across his yard. I didn’t respond. “I was thinking it would be fun to go to the beach tomorrow. You in?” he asked.
I nodded. Thank you, God. Thank you, Gilligan.
Wednesday
Best day ever!
I have so much to write. Today was the best day of my life, and I’m putting down every perfect detail so years from now when I go back and read this (and I know I’ll go back and read it), I’ll remember every moment.
It started this morning. Matt and I took the bus to the beach. It’s weird. I’ve lived in Faraway my entire life, and I’ve never taken the bus anywhere. It’s not even like I’ve wanted to. But Matt seemed to know what to do, so I followed his lead. It was fun sitting side by side with him and checking out the other passengers as the bus rattled across Faraway toward the beach. When we got there, with the exception of a few people walking along the shore and a group of old ladies doing tai chi, the beach was pretty much deserted.
“Let’s go in,” said Matt after we’d put our stuff down. He motioned toward the water.
He’d seen me in my suit before, but I suddenly felt self-conscious about being alone with Matt and how I looked in my bikini. “It’s kind of cold,” I said, pulling my sweatshirt in around me.
Matt smiled. “C’mon,” he said. “It’s not that bad.” He peeled off his T-shirt and sneakers. I tried not to react, but it was hard. He looked so cute and boyish standing there in his trunks with his tight abs.
I knew it was my turn. I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off. Matt was watching me. As I lifted my sweatshirt over my head, I said a quick prayer that my boobs would grow right there on the spot so that by the time my sweatshirt was off, they would protrude nicely from my top.
“Nice suit,” Matt said. Goose bumps were forming on my skin. We stood there for a minute just looking at each other, then Matt took my hand and we ran to the water’s edge. I thought he was going to stop when we got there, but he kept going. It was cold, but it didn’t seem to bother Matt. He pulled me out until we were waist-deep. “I love the water,” said Matt.
I wasn’t as comfortable as he was. I could feel the tide pulling me out. I grabbed Matt’s arm. “I got you,” he said instinctively, then pulled me toward him. His hands encircled my waist. As we moved out deeper, I let the strength of the current push me closer to Matt. My stomach was pressed against his. I felt the muscles in his midsection tighten. A warmth spread through me despite the cold water. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
“April.” Matt whispered my name. His face was inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my skin. Then his mouth was pressed against mine and we were kissing. Softly at first. Then Matt’s grip tightened around me. Unlike the last time we’d kissed, this time his tongue easily slid into my mouth. My arms found their way around Matt’s neck as the warmth of his tongue pressed against mine and his fingers tensed up on the small of my back. I don’t know how long we kissed like that, but as the current started to push us out, Matt pulled away. “We better go in,” he said hoarsely.
When we got back to where we’d left our belongings on the beach, my skin was covered in goose bumps. I shivered. Even though the sun had started to warm the day, it was still chilly outside. Matt took a towel out of his bag and dried my arms and back, then laid it out on the sand. “C’mon.” He gestured to the towel. “Let’s dry off for a while.” Matt lay down, and I lay next to him. I was a little afraid he was going to pull me on top of him and try to kiss me like that. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. But Matt just stretched out his arm and motioned for me to put my head on it and use it like a pillow. We lay next to each other like that for a long time. Neither of us said a word. We didn’t need to. It was just sun and sand and peace and quiet. I’m sure it was the definition of Zen, and I loved it. When it was time to go, Matt propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at me. “You’re cute, California.”
I grinned. It was the first time he’d called me that in a long time.
As great as the day had been so far, the best thing happened on the bus on the way home. I’ll never forget it. Matt took a pen out of his bag and pushed the sleeve of my sweatshirt up over my elbow. “Close your eyes.”
When I did, he started writing.
The pen tickled my skin and I tried to pull my arm away, but Matt kept a firm grip on it as he wrote. “Open your eyes,” he said when he finished.
When I looked, I couldn’t believe what he’d written. The note on my arm said: Will you go out with me? Matt had drawn two boxes with labels under each box—yes and yes. He handed me a pen. When I checked yes, he wrapped his arm around me and took a picture of us with his phone.
Even if he hadn’t taken the picture, it would have been a totally memorable day.
Thursday, March 6
An unfortunate follow-up
Matt called and asked if I wanted to come over, which I did. His mom was at work, which was cool because we hung out on his couch, watching game shows and making out. To be honest, we kissed so much that my lips were actually swollen. But I didn’t care. I think I could have kept kissing Matt forever.
I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but it’s true. All I want to do is kiss Matt. I can’t believe I ever felt uncomfortable around him. When I left his house, I actually felt a pain in my chest like I was going to miss him even though I’d spent the last three hours making out with him. Ugh! How could that even be possible? It was an awesome afternoon … until I got home.
“Where’ve you been?” asked Mom when I walked into the house. Her face looked suspicious, like she doubted my whereabouts. I said a quick prayer. Please don’t let my lips look as bad as they feel. Before I’d left, I’d told Mom I was going to hang out with friends. I hadn’t lied, but I’d been intentionally unclear. Sooner or later I was going to have to tell my parents about Matt. “Matt and I are going out,” I announced.
Mom nodded for a long time, like it was taking her a while to formulate what she wanted to say next. “Did this happen yesterday when you went to the beach?” she asked.
I nodded. I was glad I’d told Mom where I was going.
“Were you with him again today?” I nodded again. I didn’t want to start this relationship off with a lie.
“I see,” said Mom. But it didn’t seem like she saw at all. Her tone was harsh and clipped, and when Dad came home, they both wanted to talk to me. Privately. I had a bad feeling as I followed my parents down the hall to my room.
“April, there are some rules we need to put into place,” said Dad as he closed my door.
“Is this about Matt?” I asked. My parents looked at each other and nodded.
“We need to know whenever you’re with him,” said Mom.
Dad continued. “We want to know where you’re going to be and for how long.
“And what time you will be home,” added Mom.
They were a tag team, and they weren’t done yet. “You’re not allowed to be in your room alone with him,” said Mom.
“Or alone at his house,” said Dad.
I could feel anger ris
ing inside of me. I couldn’t believe what I was listening to. I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I felt like I was being punished. The happiness I’d felt when Matt and I were alone together at the beach and today on his couch vanished. “You didn’t have any of these ‘rules’ when I was going out with Billy,” I said to my parents.
They looked at each other, and then Dad looked at me. “Matt’s not Billy,” he said.
“That’s a fact, not a reason,” I said to Mom and Dad.
But they just looked at each other and then got up to go. Apparently, for them, it was reason enough.
Friday, March 7, 9:15 pm
Weird day
Weird parents
Matt came over after lunch today. We were hanging out in the backyard (which I thought was a good idea as it didn’t violate any of Mom and Dad’s three billion rules), and May and June were actually out there with us. Matt pushed them both on the swings until they couldn’t go any higher. They were laughing and having fun. Everything was great until I said, “My turn.” Then Matt started pushing me, and the minute he did, Mom came outside. She was like the swing police.
She motioned for me to come down. “Your father is coming home from the diner early, and we’re going to have a family outing,” she announced in this weird, formal way. Then she looked at Matt. “I’m sorry, Matt, but you’ll have to go.”
Matt shook his head politely, like it wasn’t a problem. “It’s OK,” he whispered in my ear as he left, but it wasn’t OK for me.
When Dad got home we went on our “family outing,” which was a drive down a country road. In the history of Sinclair family outings, we’d never taken a drive down a deserted road. The more cows we passed, the madder I got. “I know you did this just so I couldn’t be with Matt,” I said from the backseat.
I saw Mom and Dad glance at each other in the rearview. “That’s not true,” said Dad.
“You’re lying,” I mumbled.
“April!” Dad said my name sharply. May and June scooted away from me, like they didn’t want to be part of what was happening. That made me even madder. They’re my sisters, so they’re supposed to be on my side, and they were having fun when Matt pushed them on the swings this morning.
I poked May in the leg. “Tell Mom and Dad how nice Matt is. Tell them that he pushed you on the swing and how much fun it was.” I knew my voice had a sharp tone, but I couldn’t help it. May was quiet. I poked her again. “Go on. Tell them,” I said.
“Matt’s OK,” she said quietly. “But I like Billy better.” Her voice was almost inaudible. June looked out the window.
For once, she wasn’t going to repeat what she heard, even though her body language made it pretty clear she felt the same way. Mom and Dad looked at each other. They heard what was being said. And what wasn’t.
Saturday, March 8
Started out weird
Ended happy
Billy called early this morning. “What’s up? I haven’t seen you all week.”
“I’ve just been hanging out,” I said. I knew it sounded lame, but I wasn’t ready to tell him about Matt. It hadn’t gone well when I’d told my family. I couldn’t image how Billy and Brynn would react.
“What do you say you, Brynn, and me go on a bike ride tomorrow?” I didn’t answer right away. I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted to do.
“C’mon,” said Billy. “It’ll be fun.” I knew I couldn’t say no. I also knew that sooner or later I’d have to tell my friends about Matt. And sooner was probably better than later. At least they’d have time to digest it before we go back to school.
So Brynn and I met at Billy’s, and we went on the bike ride we’ve done together so many times before. We rode to Rock Creek, then on to Mr. Agee’s farm, and we finished our ride with Slurpees at 7-Eleven, just like we’ve always done. As we sat down on the curb to drink them, I knew it was time to say something.
I waited for the sugary rush from the Slurpee to go to my head. “I have an announcement to make.” It sounded overly dramatic, even to me. Brynn and Billy stopped drinking and looked at me. Anxiety coursed through me. I started talking before I could chicken out. “Matt and I are going out.” I said. The words sat on the curb like a divider between us. No one said anything. Finally, Brynn broke the silence.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” she asked, like she didn’t.
“Matt’s nice.” I tried to keep my voice steady. I didn’t want to seem defensive.
Brynn shook her head like she disagreed with my choice of adjectives. I didn’t want to get emotional, but I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Billy could tell I was upset.
He put an arm around me. “Trust your judgment.” He managed to sound diplomatic and reassuring at the same time, even though I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him. Then he squeezed my shoulder. It seemed like his way of saying he’d always be there for me.
When we finished drinking our Slurpees, we pedaled home. As I left them behind at Billy’s and rode home, I kept thinking about that conversation. Billy had made it easy. He’s always a gentleman. Brynn’s reaction was annoying, but it was what I expected. It sucks that she couldn’t just be happy for me. I know we’re growing apart, and it makes me sad.
When I got home, I called Sophie. She’d been in France all week, so I hadn’t been able to tell her about getting together with Matt. She started screaming into the phone—in French!
“Huh?” I laughed. I had no clue what Sophie had said.
“I’m sooooooo happy for you!” she explained.
Hearing her voice, and having someone be happy for me—even in another language—made me smile bigger than I had all day.
Everybody has their own path. It’s laid out for you. It’s just up to you to walk it.
—Justin Timberlake
Sunday, March 9, 9:45 p.m.
Last night of spring break
Tonight I went to Gaga and Willy’s for dinner. My whole family was there, and the main topic of conversation was me. Mom must have told Aunt Lilly and Aunt Lila about Matt, because all night they kept “teasing” me—or harassing me, depending on how you look at it—about my new boyfriend.
“April, we hear Matt’s a real cutie pie,” said Aunt Lilly.
“A ninth grader! Wowsa!” said Aunt Lila.
Wowsa? I could feel myself getting annoyed, and dinner hadn’t even started yet. I knew my aunts weren’t really impressed that Matt’s cute or in ninth grade. All the stuff they were saying was a cover for what they were really trying to do, which was to find out information for Mom, who I’m sure told them she’s worried about me going out with Matt. And they weren’t the only ones talking about my relationship.
Harry, who is in tenth grade and knows Matt from school, had a lot to say about him too. Actually, he didn’t have much to say, but what he said made an impact.
“Matt’s an asshole,” Harry announced.
Unfortunately, it made my aunts try even harder than they already had to get information out of me. Aunt Lila took my hand like we were buddies and we had to talk. “So tell us all about him,” she said.
I snatched my hand away. I didn’t want to talk about Matt—I wanted to defend him. “How do you know Matt’s an asshole?” I asked Harry. “Are you friends? Have you ever hung out with him? Do you even know him?”
Mom didn’t give Harry a chance to answer. She nodded toward my cousins Charlotte and Izzy, who are five. “April, let’s not use profanity in front of your cousins.”
“Harry used it first,” I said. All I did was repeat what he’d said, which was an unfair thing for him to say in the first place. I didn’t think I should be getting blamed for anything here when the people who deserved the blame were the ones getting into my business for no good reason. I tried to change the subject at that point.
“It’s pretty cold for early March,” I said. I would have much rather talked about the weather than about Matt, but no one seemed to want to talk about anything other than him.
“Can I
see a picture of him?” Amanda asked. I couldn’t very well say no, so I pulled out my phone and showed her the one Matt took of us on the bus. Everyone crowded around like I had a picture of the president on my phone. My aunts, Mom, Harry, Charlotte, and Izzy all wanted to see. Somehow Gaga had gotten into the mix too.
“You’re pretty cozy there,” Aunt Lila said when she saw the picture.
“He’s hot,” said Amanda.
“He sure is!” Gaga put her fingers between her teeth and whistled.
Izzy laughed.
“If I had a boyfriend like that, I’d want to get cozy too,” said Amanda.
Aunt Lilly looked like she was about to explode. She shook a finger at Amanda like she didn’t approve of her daughter talking that way. Then she looked at me and made a tssk sound, like the direction the conversation had taken was my fault.
But I hadn’t done anything wrong! I’m not the one who started the conversation, and it wasn’t my fault that Amanda expressed an opinion. She has an opinion on everything.
I’d had just about all I could take. I could feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I tried to blink them back. It was the last night of spring break, and I’d come to Gaga’s to eat grilled steak, not be grilled about my new boyfriend.
Then something shocking happened. Gaga came to my defense. I think she could tell that I was upset. She wrapped an arm around me. “When I was your age,” she said loudly, like she was talking to me but wanted the whole group to hear what she had to say, “I had my first boyfriend.”
“This is April’s second boyfriend,” Amanda interjected.
Gaga ignored her and kept going. “In matters of the heart, there is only one person you need to listen to.” She squeezed my shoulders and looked at me directly. “Only you can know how you truly feel about another person, and that’s what matters most. Sometimes you have to take a chance on relationships.”
Then she looked at everyone who was gathered around like she was done talking to me and was now addressing them. “You have to block out what others have to say and do what you think is right for you.” When she finished her speech, I wanted to salute her.
#3 Truth and Kisses Page 8
