This is why I haven’t allowed myself to let my guard down. I can’t stand the thought of going through it again. Hatter fading is killing me and we aren’t in love, and he’ll return eventually.
My husband never will. Or my children. Or grandchildren.
I refuse to experience such a loss again, even if it’s only for a blink of time. This hurts enough.
A thumping noise has me leaping to my feet and yanking out my gun, eyes searching for the threat. Relief pounds through me so pure and sweet, I almost cry when I see the helicopter.
Belle has arrived.
There She Aspied
My phone has no bars out here, but the battery still has life in it. I turn the flashlight app on and flash it at the helicopter, praying they can see it. I hiss out panicked frustration as it passes over us, not wanting to stumble across the island to search for them.
Hope rises and my breath catches when it circles back around, lowering faster than it should, tilting a little. Are they about to crash?
I reach down and yank Hook to his feet, shoving his bag into his hands, and pull him farther into the trees. I adjust my phone and gun so the light reaches into the woods. With all the noise they’re making, Pan and his cohorts may come to investigate.
Hook comes alive a little, rummaging in his bag, pulling out a gun and adjusting his hook, his back against mine, helping me guard against the shadows and the black of the night. I flick my eyes between the forest and the sky.
The helicopter jerks and tilts again. Hook reaches for me and my fingers wrap around his hook. I count heartbeats, waiting for them to land, my hand tightening on him.
The blades beat against the air, shaking the trees, plucking at our clothes, pushing us farther into the forest, tearing Hook and I apart. I hold my arm up to protect my face as I run for them.
Belle and the others tumble from the door, meeting me halfway across the beach. I throw my arms around Belle, the tears I’ve been holding back flooding my face. She grips me back hard, her words not reaching me until the helicopter powers down.
“What happened? Where’s Hatter? We saw the Jolly Roger limping along trying to make it here. How did you get here?”
I pull back, wiping my face and clearing the tears from my throat. “Mermaid attack. We lost Hatter and Ariel and a few of Hook’s crew. The ship was damaged, so Hook and I took a lifeboat here.”
Belle’s face falls, Jackie and Red curse in the background.
“We’ll make him pay for this.” Red’s voice is a growl, the wolf inside her threatening to surface.
“Yes, we will.” Hook is back, the heartbreak within him hardened to pure fury and determination.
Belle shakes off her shock and sadness, becoming her usual logical, somewhat cold self. “You two have been through enough tonight. The three of us will go and find Pan’s location and make a plan of attack. First thing in the morning, we will strike.”
I ask the question no one wants to consider. “What if he’s not here?”
“Then…then we will figure out where he is.”
“He’s here. I can feel it. And if I’m wrong…if I’m wrong…” Hook trails off.
If he’s wrong, Hatter and Ariel died for nothing.
“I feel fine. I can come with you.” I don’t want to stay here with Hook. His grief is too raw, and it’s my fault. I never should have gotten him involved in this. Hatter and I should have headed right back to Paris and flown here with Belle and the others. Then no one would be dead.
“Look at yourself. You’re shaking and covered in blood and your clothes are ripped to shreds. You need to rest up and heal. This is just to find out where he is and make sure he’s actually here.”
Exhaustion floods me at her words, and I feel every sore part of me that my accelerated healing still hasn’t had time to heal. “Fine. We’ll find a place to hole up. I don’t like how out in the open we are here.”
The five of us move deeper through the trees, phones lighting our way as we leave the beach and the helicopter and the still at sea Jolly Roger behind.
We come upon a spring which makes me realize how thirsty I am. I kneel at the edge, using my cupped hands to drink. The others continue on a bit, call out, excitement in their voices.
They found a cave.
Of course they did. Of course this island has a cave right by a spring in the middle of the woods.
Belle and the others don’t wait around. “Get cleaned up and get some sleep.”
I aim a middle finger at her back.
Hook and I are left alone in our shared grief and fury. I pull out my other dress, the one covered in rockets, and return to the stream to clean up. When I return, Hook is set back to rights, seeming more like himself.
I sit across from him, my back sliding down the cave wall. “I’m so sorry I brought you into this. I’m sorry I got involved. I left so I wouldn’t have to go through this sort of thing anymore. I’m no hero. I just get everyone killed.”
Hook sighs and reaches across the cave handing me the bottle of brandy I packed for him. “I know you wanted to be left alone. And this is how you come back to Faery? Chasing after Pan?”
“I could say the same to you.” I take a long swig, grimacing at the burn.
He laughs. “I didn’t completely leave like you did. No one has ever left like you did.”
I snort and roll my eyes. “I guess now I know why. You aren’t allowed to.”
“Maybe.”
I frown. “You don’t agree?”
Hook returns my eye roll, taking the brandy back from me. “You could have disappeared once Hatter showed up. Before he brought Belle in. You know him. You knew it wasn’t the last you’d see of him. Maybe you wanted back in. Maybe Belle knew that or suspected it too, so she gave you a little push.”
My fingers curl into fists in my lap. “Why does everyone insist I return?”
“Because we love you and because you’re one of the best and most badass agents the FTA has ever seen?” He passes the bottle to me.
“It feels more like I can’t leave because no one can. I want the freedom to have the choice.” I take a longer gulp, hugging the bottle to my chest.
“I understand. The question is, do you actually want to be free of Faery or do you just want the option? If the former, fight for it. I’ll help you. If the latter, choose to believe you can be and rejoin your family. We’re all each other has in this world. As the tide changes and the world keeps turning, we remain. We stay through kings and queens and presidents and revolutions and regime changes. Keeping connections in Faery keeps us connected to the world.”
“I was happy. It was a nice life.”
He raises a brow. “Were you? Was it?”
My lips purse and my brow lowers. “Have you gotten a degree in psychology lately or something?”
He laughs. “No, I’m just very old.”
“You’re a baby compared to me.”
Hook snorts. “Don’t act like you aren’t right where you actually want to be. You’ve been trying to rewrite your story since you came to life. You’ve always run from your golden curls and froofy dresses and sheep. You spent your first hundred years proving you’re a badass to be taken seriously and when that fell through, you packed up your toys and left. And now, instead of fleeing at the first sight of Fae, you let yourself be sucked right back in. Whether you admit it or not, you wanted this. You can’t run from your story, Bo.”
“And how has embracing your swashbuckling pirate persona helped you?”
He hears the words about his dead lovers I leave unspoken, but they still hang between us. Apparently, I’ve taken lessons from Belle in passive aggression.
“At least I tried again. I moved on from the pain. I didn’t run away from who I am. You can embrace your story and still follow your own path. It’s no different than genetics. You’re going to be predisposed to certain things. I’m not exactly the permed villain Barrie imagined. Or straight for that matter. Or white. Faery will always
be waiting for you and it’s filled with Fae who will have the same frustrations. You can do actual good for Faery and the rest of the world if you stop changing yourself every decade to fit in with humans. You could have a family. One you get to choose and who will always be there.”
“Like Hatter and Ariel?” My throat closes after I speak their names.
His face crumples and twists, but he smooths it out with visible effort. “A hundred years is a blink for us. You know that. It hurts yes, and at the moment, I can’t imagine putting myself through this again, but I know I will. And I’ll be waiting for him when he wakes up.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. I’ve spent the last fifty years waiting for Fitz, except there’s no chance for a reunion with him. “I don’t have that same hope.”
“You do with Hatter.”
I shake my head, rubbing at the pain in my chest. “There was nothing between us. Not anymore.”
“I’ve heard what the two of you were like. You’re one of Faery’s favorite things to gossip about.”
Gross. “That’s not disturbing at all.”
A sad smile spreads across his lips. “It’s how the humans talk about Darcy and Elizabeth.”
“The ones who went through a really nasty divorce?” My lips twist.
“The humans don’t know that. The FTA keeps that as secret as the nuclear codes.”
A dark chuckle falls from my lips. “Not surprising. The humans would riot.” I sober. “Fairy tales are lies. There’s no such thing as happy endings. Not even for Fae.”
Hook takes a swig, his mood darkening along with mine. “We just get more time to screw it up.”
We jump, the brandy sloshing from the bottle when Belle and the others tumble inside the cave, excitement shining on their faces.
“We found him. And we need to attack. While it’s dark and they can’t see us and most of them are passed out from playing and drinking. And one other thing.” Belle smiles at Hook. “Ariel is alive.” She shakes her head at the question refusing to tumble past my lips. “We saw no sign of Hatter.”
Their Tails Side by Side
The rest of us can barely keep up with Hook as he races across the island through the dark woods. I’m ecstatic for him, glad Ariel is alive. But it’s like losing Hatter all over again. I miss him —- saying insane things, fighting at my side, grinning at me.
Kissing me.
Jackie trots by my side. “I’m sorry about Hatter.”
I shrug. “He’ll be back to annoy me before I know it.”
“You’ll be back in Faery by then?”
“I don’t know anymore. Apparently, I was never really gone.”
“Just because we knew where you were and what you were doing doesn’t mean you weren’t gone. We missed you.”
“I missed all of you too.” And as I say it, the truth hits me like a bat to the head. I mean it. Having them back in my life again, as frustrating and heartbreaking as it’s been, has driven home how lonely the last few decades have been. Not letting anyone get close, not staying in any one place long, keeping every hint of Fae out of my life.
I may not have Hatter in my life anymore, at least for a while, but Hook, Belle, Jackie, and Red are still here.
Belle grabs Hook by the arm, hauling him to a stop. “You’re going to barrel right into the camp and we’ll lose the element of surprise. We made a plan. It’s time to enact it.”
We split into groups once again, Hook and I slipping like shadows around to the other side of Pan’s camp, never getting close enough to see anyone or to be seen.
The trees thicken around us, making our progress slow as we race against the rising sun. The horizon has changed to a deep purple as the sun wakes up.
We need to hurry.
I take the lead as we near the spot Belle chose for us when she drew a map in the sand. The setting moon gives off enough light for us to see the camp. It’s like something out of Swiss Family Robinson. Lost Boys slumber in hammocks slung between trees, treehouses connected by rope bridges fill the trees. The remains of a bonfire smolders in the middle of the clearing, the orange glow flickering and casting shadows across the slumbering wildflowers.
I almost trip over the snoozing guard. This one is young. He looks like Little Boy Blue. My lips twist in disgust as I kick him in the head, the steel in the toe of my boot knocking him right out and over. Hook glares down at the collapsed boy with satisfaction. It makes my stomach twist. On the outside, he resembles a young teenager. He may be decades old, but it doesn’t make fighting the Lost Boys any less disturbing.
With a deep breath, I focus, willing the lion from my arm. He’s nothing but bands of paint slinking through the night as he stalks into their camp.
“Do you see Ariel?” I ask.
Hook shakes his head, hope and fear warring in his eyes.
Belle and the others saw him in the clearing before. They must have locked him up in one of the treehouses or in a cave or something. There’s no sign of Pan either.
“We’ll find him.”
Hook nods at me gratefully. Red emerges from the other side of the trees in her wolf form, joining my lion circling the camp, searching for more guards. Not for the first time, I wish I could see through the lion’s eyes. But he’s only good for fighting and a strange sort of company.
Red and my lion circle twice before Red gives the all-clear signal.
Gripping my borrowed gun, I follow Hook out of the trees, Belle and Jackie appearing across from us, meeting us in the middle.
Before we can even exchange greetings someone yells out, “Now!” And they swarm us. More Lost Boys and Girls than I could have ever imagined rise from their hammocks, flip down from the treehouses, poke out from hiding spots. Every one of them armed.
Belle and I exchange a glance. It’s a trap.
All Hung on a Tree to Dry
I knew this whole thing was way too easy. My grip on the gun tightens, but I can’t shoot yet. They have guns too, and for the moment, we’re all frozen, watching, waiting for someone to make the first move. My one solace, is my lion and Red aren’t in the circle with us. I’m hoping Pan and his children don’t know about my tattoos. It could be our only edge.
Because no one else is coming to save us.
Pan appears in the air above our heads, a smug grin stretching across his face. Creepy bastard. Loathing punches through me so strong, it’s hard to breathe.
“Welcome to Neverland. The one last place safe for Fae. Here, we are hidden from humans and can be free. No responsibilities, not pesky laws or treaties. Here we are kings and queens.”
“I can do without the villain speech, jackass.”
He soars down to hover right in front of me. “But, Bo. We’re stories. We have to obey the rules of stories.”
I’m done. This piece of shit killed Hatter and kidnapped Ariel and almost killed the rest of us. And he’s been stealing children. I head butt him. Right in the center of his face.
And it feels so glorious, the pain doesn’t even reach me.
Blood gushes from his nose, and I receive a rifle butt to the ribs for my trouble.
Worth it.
He uses his shirt to mop up the mess on his face and shakes his head at his goon gearing up to hit me again. He turns his attention back to us. “Give up your weapons. We have you outgunned and out-manned. There’s no way out of here for you. If you’re lucky, we won’t execute you, and in time you can be part of Neverland. If you bow down to me, of course. We want all Fae to find refuge here.”
Does he think he’s King Arthur? Only he can make promises like that, and even then, I’m skeptical.
Belle shakes her head. “Never. We will never bow to you.”
“You’ll change your mind. As you can see, many Fae already have.” He gestures behind him at a young girl who emerges through the parted crowd. My stomach clenches when I recognize her.
It’s Alice.
She Heaved a Sigh
Alice gives us
a bright smile. “Welcome to Neverland. I’d prefer Wonderland of course, but one can’t be too picky in this nasty human world.”
Belle and Hook both grab me, keeping me from throwing myself at the little brat. “Hatter thought you’d been kidnapped. He died trying to rescue you.”
The March Hare hops at her side, for some reason not in his human form. The Caterpillar is wrapped around Alice’s neck like a scarf. Alice turned all of them against Hatter? Did the Duchess betray him? Are the Red Queen and Chess here too?
“Ah, my noble Madman. How he does cling to his fellow Wonderland characters. He doesn’t realize we are more than our story. We can be whoever we wish to be now. You understood that. You’ve always fought against your story. But he always was simple, satisfied playing the jester.” She shakes her head sadly. “He could have been so much more.”
I will kill her. I don’t care if she looks eight. I’ll still shoot her in the face.
“He was already more, you utter spoiled brat. You haven’t gotten away from your story either. Alice from the book was a little brat and all these years alive and you haven’t been able to grow out of that. Pathetic. You didn’t deserve Hatter’s affection and loyalty.”
She giggles. “Oh, and you did? I was there, picking up the pieces when you left him. And again, when you left Faery, and he lost all hope. You have more power to hurt him than anyone. Not me.”
Her words do more damage than any of the guns pointed at me could do. Her smug grin is the twin of Pan’s. My own gun lowers a bit, my shoulders slumping.
“Where the hell is Ariel? What have you done to him?” This time, I hold Hook back.
Alice and Pan glance at each other, their grins widening. “Unfortunately, he tried to escape. He’s with Hatter now.”
Hook howls with pain. I clutch at him to keep him upright, wincing when his hook scrapes into my skin.
We lost. Pan won. Again.
Black Sheep of Faery: Books 1-2 Page 7
