by Stella Night
He leaned against her and wrapped his massive arms around her waist. Dylan was heavy but she was more than willing to carry his weight for as long as she had to.
“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” Rory said. “I’m here with you now. For as long as you want me to be.”
***
Dylan loved the way it felt to lean on Aurora. Her body was soft and comforting, like the perfect complement to him.
Her words struck a chord in him, playing heartstrings he didn’t know were there. Dylan had never felt lonely. Solitude suited him, or so he thought.
But when she said she would be here with him, he realized for the first time that something had been missing from his life. Like he’d lost a part of his soul a long time ago, and now that Aurora was here, he felt like he could be whole again.
It was so strange to think he’d been broken and he never even realized it. He knew he’d been damaged by everything he’d been through, but it took Aurora’s presence to get him to understand just how much.
And something else lingered in the air between them. She’s made it clear that she loved him. The idea seemed absurd to Dylan. He didn’t think he was worthy of love. Not anymore. Not after all the things he’d done.
He wanted to believe her, but he was sure she was just trying to comfort him in the moment. Given time to think about the things he’d told her tonight, she would realize what kind of monster he really was.
And even if she could forgive him, Dylan found it impossible to forgive himself.
He looked up at her, her face dark with worry. He was the one who’d caused her to feel this way. It was his fate to cause pain and suffering wherever he went. That’s why he was a good soldier. That’s why he would make a terrible mate.
He forced himself to his feet and he grabbed Aurora’s tiny hands in his own massive fists. “Let’s get back.”
Dylan released her hands, but to his surprise, Aurora continued to clutch his hand with hers. She refused to let him go.
They walked back to the house, picking their way through the dead trees. Aurora looked around at the devastation surrounding Dylan’s home.
“So you did all this? You destroyed all of these trees?”
Dylan felt ashamed. Every fallen tree was a symbol of his weakness. He had never intended for anyone else to see this. The worst thing in the world a man could be was weak.
“I can’t help it. Sometimes I lose control. It usually starts as a bad dream. And somehow the nightmare doesn’t end, even when I wake up. I’ll find myself snapping back to reality with hours of time having gone by. A whirlwind of destruction surrounding me. My body bleeding and broken and covered in blood.”
“There has to be some way to control it. Maybe we can figure out what it is that sets you off.”
Dylan shook his head. “I’ve never been able to control it. Whatever demons are screaming inside me, it’s like they need to get out. And this is the only way they can do it. Once it starts, it doesn’t stop until I’m too exhausted to move.”
“You stopped tonight,” Aurora said.
Dylan stopped walking and turned to look at her. She looked back, smiling at him gently even in the middle of all this destruction.
“That’s true. This is the first time one of these episodes has ever been cut short.”
“You see? You need me.”
Dylan couldn’t argue with her. The woman had a soothing presence. It was something his life had been missing for a very long time. Maybe they belonged together after all.
It was something Dylan had never questioned about her. He firmly believed that shifters only had one mate that was perfect for them in this world, and he had no doubt that for him, Aurora was that perfect mate.
The problem was Dylan didn’t believe he was the perfect mate for her. He had believed it once, but her brother’s disapproval and the darkness inside Dylan had convinced him he was no good for her.
“And what happens when you try to stop me and you fail? What happens when I hurt you?”
Aurora placed her hands on his arms gripping them tightly. “I don’t believe you would ever hurt me. I don’t care how dangerous you think you are, I know I’m safe around you.”
“And what if you’re not? Look around you. You’ve seen what I’ve done. You’ve seen what I’m capable of. And you know that I lose control. What if it happens again? If I hurt you, I could never forgive myself.”
“And I could never forgive myself if I abandoned you. If I get hurt, I get hurt. That’s what love is anyway. There’s always a chance you might get hurt. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“All I’m sure about is that I want to be with you. Nothing else is sure. But that’s enough for me. So what you’ve got to ask yourself is this. What do you want?”
Dylan said nothing in response.
He wanted so many different things, and he couldn’t figure out how to reconcile all of them. Aurora’s happiness meant everything to Dylan. Seeing her smile was one of the best things in the world. At the same time, he wanted her to be safe. She could never truly be safe if she was around him.
He also wanted her. Just looking at her made him ache with desire. It was a literal, physical pain like hot coals in his chest. Every fiber of his being demanded that he be with her.
But he couldn’t allow himself to be with her. Not if it meant putting her in danger. And Dylan was dangerous, through and through.
He could let her stay with him for a while and he could protect her. But once he took care of the man who killed her father, they would have to part ways.
No matter what, somebody was going to get hurt. If he sent her away, Dylan would suffer. If he gave into his feelings and took her as his mate, she would get hurt. Given those two options, there was no choice, really.
Dylan would take the hit for both of them. If his strength was good for anything, it was good for absorbing the pain. He’d lived with pain for so long, one more stab to the heart probably wouldn’t kill him.
Only he didn’t believe that. He felt a grim certainty that without Aurora in his life, he would surely die. All of the pain and the guilt had been slowly killing him for the last four years. If something didn’t change soon, it would finally finish the job.
Then again, he thought it might be worth it. He’d always told himself that he would go to any length to protect Aurora. If that meant he had to die so that she could live, he would gladly trade his life for hers.
Of course, he would never tell her that. She didn’t need to know what kind of sacrifice Dylan was willing to make for her. He could protect her from that terrible knowledge, too.
“What I want,” he said finally. “What I want right now is to be alone for a while.”
“You’ve been alone long enough. And if you keep pushing everyone who loves you away, you’re going to die alone.”
Dylan said nothing and walked away, leaving Aurora standing alone and uncertain beneath the uncaring sky.
Chapter 7
Dylan stripped down in the bathroom, discarding his torn up jeans and boxers in a heap on the tiled floor.
Trickles of drying blood adorned his skin like war paint, evidence of the violence committed by him this night. His wounds had already healed, but the blood remained. His skin was still tender where it was knitting itself back together. By morning, even that pain would be gone.
If only the rest of his pain could heal as quickly and as completely. There was no magic healing factor for a broken psyche.
Post-traumatic stress disorder, survivor’s guilt, or just plain regret over everything he had done. Dylan wasn’t sure which one of these things he suffered from. Maybe none of them. Maybe all of them.
Regardless, whatever demons plagued his brain, he had no idea how to exorcise them. There was no purifying himself. No way to absolve himself of all the sins he’d committed.
He was doomed and he wished that Aurora would just let him suffer alone in
purgatory like he deserved.
He soaked a washcloth in warm water and began to wash the blood and dirt from his skin. At least he could cleanse himself physically, if not spiritually. It would have to do for now.
A knock on the bathroom door interrupted his dark thoughts.
“Go away,” he shouted.
Aurora’s voice thundered back at him through the thick mahogany door. “Don’t you tell me what to do. You know damn well what happens when you order me around. Let me in.”
He did know, actually. Aurora was the kind of woman who dug her heels in the ground like a stubborn mule anytime somebody commanded her to do something. It was one of the things he loved about her. Although at that particular moment, it wasn’t her most endearing trait.
He sighed, and opened the door for her. “What?”
Her sharp intake of breath reminded him that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He was also covered in blood. He wasn’t sure what was more surprising to her, but any shock or offense she was feeling was her own damn fault. She was the one who insisted he let her in.
“You poor man,” she said softly.
Aurora gazed along the contours of his body, taking in every part of him it seemed.
She ran her hands over his stained skin, gently caressing him with her fingertips. Her touch was like heaven on his sore skin. He couldn’t help but be impressed by the fact that she wasn’t afraid of a little blood. She was a tough one alright. Dylan had never doubted that.
But something about the tone of her voice bothered him. He didn’t want her to see him this way.
“Don’t pity me,” he said. “Anything but that.”
She gazed up into his eyes, unashamed and unafraid. “It isn’t pity that I feel right now.”
“Then what are you feeling?”
“Anger,” she said.
The answer surprised him. “But why?”
“All these years we’ve spent apart, I was so mad at you for pushing me away. But now I’m mad at myself for letting you go. I kept blaming you for abandoning me, but the truth is I abandoned you, too. When you needed me, I wasn’t there. It pisses me off so much I can’t stand it.”
“Don’t be silly. It was me. It was all me.”
Aurora frowned at him, but she didn’t respond. “Here, give me that washcloth.”
Dylan did as she said, handing over the damp rag. She dipped it under the steaming water from the sink and wrung it out. Then she dabbed at Dylan’s shoulders, washing away the evidence of his pain.
She used a delicate touch. A warm shiver ran through Dylan’s body at the feel of her cleaning his wounds. It was such a strange sensation. Dylan had suffered countless injuries, but no one had ever tended to his injuries like this.
He thought about pushing her away. This wasn’t the way he wanted her to see him. He never wanted anyone to think of him as the wounded warrior. All he ever wanted them to see was his strength.
But he couldn’t bring himself to stop her.
It just felt so good. He fell into a kind of trance as she worked. Each methodical stroke along his skin making him feel more at peace. For the first time in a very long time, Dylan felt good. It was almost like Aurora was cleansing more than just his skin.
There was just something about her. Something about the way she looked at him. It made him feel a swelling sense of optimism, like he truly had a chance at redemption.
Aurora was one of the most amazing people Dylan had ever met. If she could see the good in him, maybe, just maybe, it was possible that some good actually existed inside him.
He couldn’t see it. That was for sure. But she saw it. And Dylan could see it reflected in her eyes.
If she loved him, then he must not be a complete piece of shit. Maybe there was some shred of goodness and decency within him after all.
Standing there in his bathroom with Aurora washing him was one of the single most intense experiences of his entire life. He could feel something changing inside him. All the terrible voices screaming in his head seemed to quiet down.
Ironically enough, she made him feel safe.
If there had been any doubt, in that moment, Dylan was absolutely sure that he loved Aurora. He loved her more than anything or anyone he’d ever loved before. And he was sure about something else.
He could never send her away. He couldn’t bear to be apart from her again. Not for four years. Not for four seconds. Aurora was the best thing to ever happen to him and he’d be damned if he ever let her go.
He grabbed her hand in his, stopping the movement of the washcloth. She looked up at him surprised.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said, a slight smile tilting the corners of his mouth.
She cocked her head at him, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“Nothing is wrong. For the first time in so long, the whole world doesn’t feel wrong to me. Everything feels just right.”
She smiled a confused smile at him. “Well, that’s good, right?”
“That’s very good. And I have you to thank.”
She locked her eyes with his, searching for some hint of what he was talking about. Those gorgeous eyes that he couldn’t get enough of. And those full red lips that were just meant for kissing. Dylan couldn’t hold back a second longer.
“I love you, Aurora. I’ve always loved you.”
He covered her lips with his, kissing her with a crackling desire.
Then he pulled back, looking down to gauge her reaction. She still looked shocked at the change in his demeanor, but it was a good shock. She couldn’t know how much better she’d made him feel, and he didn’t have the words to explain it.
Good thing this wasn’t the time for words. He leaned down and kissed her again.
***
Rory’s breath caught in her throat at the passion in Dylan’s lips. The moment they’d shared earlier in Dylan’s bedroom was nothing compared to this.
Dylan attacked her with an intensity that reminded her of his ferocity in the woods earlier. Only this time she wasn’t afraid of him.
Liquid heat rushed through her veins as his tongue parted her eager lips. There was a certain thrill knowing that she could make Dylan feel this kind of passion, especially after he’d seemed to fight so hard against admitting how he felt about her.
Despite his reluctance, Dylan had just told her he loved her. It was something Rory had been almost sure of, but almost wasn’t good enough. Now she was certain, and that certainty filled her with a warm glow. Of course, the warmth fluttering inside her core could have something to do with the way Dylan’s skilled hands touched her body.
His hands trailed down her spine, sending chills throughout her entire being. For such a strong man, he had a delicate touch when he needed to. His fingertips lightly grazed her flesh through her shirt, stoking the heat building between her legs.
She ran her own hands over Dylan’s naked body, savoring the hard lines of his muscles. The man looked a Greek god carved out of marble by the hands of a master sculptor.
But now her Greek god had come to life and was exploring her body with his talented hands. He cupped her breasts, kneading them gently. His thumbs circled over the hardening points of her nipples, sending jolts of pleasure throughout her entire body.
He pressed his hips forward, and she felt him, hard and thick and aching for her. She moaned at the sensation.
Earlier in the day when they had gotten close, Dylan had held back when she’d wanted to touch him. Dylan wasn’t holding back now. Whatever walls he had put up, whatever restraints he’d placed upon his passion, they had evaporated in the heat of all the craziness tonight.
She reached down and ran her hand over the length of his thick erection. It felt impossibly hot and hard in her hand. The fact that she was the one causing this reaction was an amazing feeling.
Dylan groaned as she stroked him. The sound was low and husky in his throat, almost like a growl. She wondered if she was bringing out the inne
r bear in him. There was no doubt he was going at her with a certain savage desire. The intensity of it was almost too much to handle.
Dylan grabbed her by the hips and lifted her onto the sink, never breaking away from kissing her. His hands unfastened the buttons of her blouse, before opening her shirt. She reached behind her and unfastened her bra, revealing herself to him.
He gazed down at her exposed flesh.
“You are so beautiful, Aurora,” he said. “I need more of you. I need all of you.”
