by M. B. Gerard
Her superiority in energy and movement showed. Gabriella Galloway had taken a 5 – 2 lead in the first set and would now serve for the set.
With a well-placed wide serve Gaga forced Sasha to step far out. The Czech managed to get the serve back but it was rigorously punished by the American player.
“15 – Love.”
After two lengthy rallies which stunned the crowd and were both decided by pin-point down-the-line winners, Sasha had taken the lead again.
“15 – 30.”
But Gabriella would not give up. After Sasha’s forehand return clipped the netcord and fell short into the court, Gabriella sprinted forwards and slammed the ball for a winner. Her next short-angled serve forced Sasha to hit a forehand return outside the lines.
“40-30.” Gabriella had a set point.
Most of the players the Czech had beaten in finals were merely playing not to lose when playing against her – and not playing to win. Most of them would have said there was no difference. But Sasha knew that was not true. The harder you fought and the more engrossed you became in the fight the more it hurt if you lost. That was the reason some players didn’t give it their all. But today she had a different opponent. Sasha felt that the young player on the other side of the net was suddenly willing to take the title.
With a scorching forehand deep into the corner Gabriella decided the game in her favor.
When Sasha sat down on her chair, she looked up to her box. Jaro was nodding in support, as was her coach. A little to the left sat Gabriella’s entourage. There was the new coach, Rafael, the fitness trainer and several other people. Next to Rafael was the other Galloway twin. Luella, whose name was below Sasha’s own on the scoreboard. She looked pleased.
Suddenly, an idea struck Sasha. If Gabriella won against her, she would win in her sister’s name. She would win a Grand Slam and would never be able to claim victory for herself. Her achievement, her fight would go unnoticed. It wouldn’t be her name on the trophy, not her name announced and not her name going down in history, but Luella’s, who was sitting calmly in the player’s box. It would be Luella’s name forever engraved in tennis history. Through the umpire’s chair Sasha glanced over to the other player. Why would anyone do this, she wondered? Sharing everything with another person. Your whole life. Your passion. She shook her head. No, she couldn’t do that. Not with a sister nor a partner. She was a lone wolf.
“Time.”
Sasha heard the words as if she was under water. Walking back to the baseline to begin the second set she wondered if it was her destiny to stay alone for the rest of her life.
***
The players’ lounge was almost empty on finals’ day. Elise was sitting with her parents at one of the tables near the window and looked out onto the Wimbledon site. Her grass season had been amazing so far. Not only had she won s’Hertogenbosch, the first tournament since she had come back from injury, she had been granted a Wild Card into Wimbledon’s main draw and had reached the quarterfinal in the singles competition. In doubles, she and Amanda would play the final today against their good friends Monica Jordan and Agnes Lion. It was incredible, she contemplated. Sure, she had worked hard in the past months and she had gotten better and better since Indian Wells, but deep down she knew that her recent success was related to the joy she felt every morning she woke up and her first thoughts went straight to the Australian girl who was lying in a bed only two streets away. Her happiness had carried her all the way to the final days of the tournament.
Hearing Dan Metic’s voice behind her, Elise turned away from the window. Her father greeted Dan and Amanda and the two sat down at the table. Elise gave Amanda a huge smile, however, the Australian only nodded in a friendly way. Due to Elise’s situation they had to keep on pretending they were only a doubles team. Elise bit her lip and glanced at her parents. They hadn’t noticed her smile nor her slight embarrassment which always settled in after she caught herself going gooey-eyed over Amanda. Elise sighed. Amanda was really good at playing this game. They would come out of the locker room after a match to be greeted and congratulated by their teams, and no one could tell by Amanda’s face that only seconds ago they had kissed passionately. Elise herself wasn’t that cool. She always feared that her admiration and desire was evident for everyone to see.
After the failed attempt to get it on in the shower they had laughed about it, and there was no denying that it made Elise feel better when Amanda told her they had as much time as needed. But since then Amanda had not approached her again and Elise was too shy to come forward with her own desire. Looking over at the redhead at the other end of the table, Elise wondered how willing Amanda was to engage in a relationship with Elise. When she had confessed to Amanda that she was only out to a handful of people she had seen the Australian swallow and had understood that she was asking a lot of her new girlfriend. Even though Amanda kept her private life away from the spotlight she didn’t have to lie about it to her family and her team.
After the quarterfinal Elise’s parents had invited Amanda over for dinner and even though it had been a nice evening, it had also been very awkward for both of them. Did Amanda think this was just a phase for Elise or just a little experiment? She couldn’t have been more wrong if that was the case, but Elise hadn’t had the courage yet to address her concerns. However, she knew what to do. She had to tell her parents. She needed to do it anyway. She really wanted to. It was becoming an unbearable situation, finding excuses when she wanted to be with Amanda alone or circumvent their harmless questions about the evenings she spent over at Amanda’s place. She took a look at the TV that broadcasted the ladies’ final. Sasha had taken the second set after she had lost the first, but was trailing in the third set. Luella Galloway was about to finish her great run with her first Grand Slam victory.
“This will not take much longer,” Elise said to her parents and Amanda. “I think we should get ready.”
She got up and nodded at Amanda while suppressing a smile. Ignoring Dan’s raised eyebrow and her parents’ surprise at the hasty departure she pushed Amanda through the door outside. She just wanted a few minutes alone with Amanda. Just a few minutes when they could kiss and whisper foolish things into each others’ ears.
Slipping into the locker room Elise turned around to Amanda and kissed her slightly on the lips. An idea had formed in her head, and she knew she needed all her courage to make it happen.
***
The metal had been cool and the whole dish had been amazingly heavy. Heavier than she had imagined, Gabriella thought.
Her hands were sweating –from the exhaustion of the match or from excitement she couldn’t say – and the ridiculous thought that the Venus Rosewater dish would slip from her hands while holding it over her head and fall onto her toes had occupied her mind during the whole ceremony. It didn’t happen. Everything went well.
“Luella Galloway,” the tournament director had announced.
When she had heard her sister’s name she hadn’t cared about it, but now, sitting in the silent locker room, the numbness which had occupied her brain from the second that Sasha had hit that last ball outside the lines let go of her little grey cells. This was just another locker room, after just another match. But everything was different. She had won a Grand Slam final. She was a Grand Slam winner. And yet, she wasn’t. Luella just won a Grand Slam. She was a Grand Slam winner. And she deserved it, Gabriella thought. Lulu had played four out of the seven matches, and Gabriella only three.
But the last one was the most important. They both knew it. Luella had only won one final of an international tournament last year, while Gabriella had won two internationals already plus Indian Wells, a premier event only a few months ago. Gabriella was not just the more consistent player, she had better nerves and was able to stay calm during the big points. She was able to close out a match. That was the reason why Luella had begged Gaga to play the Wimbledon final for her. Her sister had been scared of faltering in the important moments.
Sitting on the bench, Gabriella could suddenly see it crystal clear before her eyes. Luella giving the post-match interview, Luella in the talk shows back home in the United States, Luella dancing at the Winners Ball. She swallowed hard and almost choked when the locker room door was opened with a bang.
“I must have left it in my locker,” Gaga heard Sasha’s voice saying to someone outside. The door closed again and there were only Sasha’s footsteps closing in. Unaware that the room wasn’t empty Sasha stepped around the corner. Gabriella looked up at her opponent and now Wimbledon runner-up.
“Oh,” Sasha exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were still in here.”
Gabriella shrugged and gave Sasha a smile. But only a very quick one, since she was supposed to be Luella. A moment of silence followed which made Gabriella think of the hilarious and awkward moment when she had found Sasha in one of the lockers but had not said a word to Luella about it. All the past moments she had had with Sasha had been awkward and hilarious in a way. Sasha's spying on the twins – well, on Lulu – was followed by Gabriella’s shameless advances in Paris when she had hit on Sasha pretending she was Luella. However, Sasha had never lowered her guard. It seemed they were both revolving around each other unable to come forward with honest words. Sometimes Gaga caught herself wondering if they would like each other, if they could get along, maybe even more. Gabriella would have liked to talk to Elise about Sasha, because, yes, she believed she could like Sasha, but Elise didn’t like her. Perhaps it could have been very easy, if the Czech wasn’t so obsessed with her sister.
Sasha opened a locker in front of Gaga and took out a pair of shoes she apparently had forgotten. She was about to leave without a word, but then paused and turned around.
“I know your little secret,” she said with a sly smile.
They locked eyes for a short moment in which Gabriella grew first hot then ice-cold, before Sasha turned away and walked out of the room.
Her little secret? How could Sasha know that? Gabriella clutched the edge of the bench. Nobody knew. But then she gasped. She had forgotten that she was Lulu right now. Sasha had talked to her as Lulu. Which secret did Sasha mean?
***
Through the endless corridors from somewhere inside the hotel came the dampened sound of music. The Wimbledon Winners Ball in the posh Intercontinental Hotel was in full swing but Elise and Amanda had found a better occupation. They were lying on a couch at the end of a long corridor where they had ended up after Elise had led them through the hotel corridors, talking about the upcoming weeks when they would be apart. At one point they had begun to hold hands as the corridor seemed completely empty. They had sat down in the sofa corner, which was dimly lit, but by now were spread out with their arms and legs intertwined.
Tipsy from the booze Amanda was kissing the German without rushing. In the last week, she had gained more and more confidence that the relationship was not just some experiment for Elise. Yesterday had proven to be another good day. Even though they had lost the doubles final to Monica and Agnes they had decided to go to dinner and afterwards had retreated to Amanda’s room to watch a DVD. Needless to say, neither of them could recall anything from the storyline. At one point, Elise had sat up on the bed and had taken her cell phone from her bag. She was typing a message and when Amanda looked curiously over her shoulder Elise showed her the text. It was to her mom and said: At Amanda’s place watching a movie. Don’t know when I will be home. Might stay overnight.
She did. Even though they were only fooling around with not much more happening it made Amanda feel much better. It was definitely a step in the right direction. After Elise had fallen asleep in Amanda’s arms the Australian had watched the girl knowing it was the right decision not to hurry. Not only because Amanda herself felt better taking it slowly but she had become convinced that Elise had never had slept with a girl before. Thinking back to the scene in the shower when Elise’s hands had grown numb she felt a bit guilty for going for it so vehemently and quickly.
Lying on the hotel couch Amanda reminded herself to take it easy. She had the feeling Elise was ready to do it but she wanted to allow Elise to set the pace. However, tasting Elise and feeling her warmth didn’t make ‘taking it easy’ an easy task. It was almost impossible not to slide her hand under Elise’s blue evening gown, impossible not to work her hand slowly but steadily up her calf and then her thigh. Impossible to stop the goose bumps Amanda felt crawling over her skin when Elise pulled up Amanda’s top and began caressing her skin. To slow down her heartbeat, Amanda lifted herself up and took a deep breath.
“You are a very good French kisser, Elise Renard,” Amanda grinned at her in the darkness not knowing what else to say.
“I’m half French,” Elise replied in all sincerity. “Of course, I’m a good French kisser.”
“That sounds very logical, darling,” Amanda was smiling at Elise’s seriousness. “I’m full-blown Aussie. Let’s see how far I can get with that.” Her mischievous remark passed unnoticed as Elise pulled her back and started kissing her frantically. Only their breathing was audible in the dark hotel lounge, disrupted by their occasional muttering and moaning and giggles and the sound of the silk-like fabric of Elise’s gown rubbing against Amanda’s clothes.
“We should get a room,” Elise suddenly whispered into Amanda’s ear touching it slightly.
“Yeah, we should,” Amanda murmured back with a grin, however showing no intention to stop nibbling the German’s neck.
“Ok,” Elise said with determination. Amanda lifted her head and looked Elise in the eye.
“Really?”
Elise nodded.
“We don’t have to, you know?”
“I know,” Elise replied softly. “I just don’t want to do it here in the corner.”
“Oh, you don’t?” Amanda said innocently. She looked around searching. “The broom cupboard, then? Boom boom style?”
They got a room.
***
Gabriella was slowly turning the cocktail glass in front of her. Her head was beginning to spin, too. She felt dead tired and was on the verge of laying her head down at the bar. It couldn’t only be a matter of her not being used to the alcohol. It had to be exhaustion, physically and mentally. After all, she had played a very tough match the day before if not the toughest match of her career. A Grand Slam final. Not only had it required a massive exertion from her body but also a nonstop mental vigilance and if there was something that Gabriella had understood in theory but now felt in every bone, it was how nerve-wrecking and exhausting winning a Grand Slam final could be.
Yes, but it wasn’t her who had won. Gabriella had hit the winners, she had served for the match, she had held up the dish, but nobody knew that. Only she and Lulu knew it and with all the alcohol floating through her veins she suddenly felt like standing up and shouting the truth out to the whole room. From the corner of her eye, she checked the bar she was sitting at and frowned. Not many people were left at this time.
Gabriella had persuaded Luella that it was in fact her who should attend the press conference and the Winners Ball, too, explaining that only she could convincingly talk about the match as she had played it. However, the presser had turned into a bittersweet torture. Every time a journalist had called her by her sister’s name, Gabriella had felt a latent pain in her chest and the more Luella’s name had been called out in the room, the more her heart had burnt. But she had accepted the pact and now she had to deal with it. No matter how hard it would be to live with such a secret weighing on her mind.
Getting up from the stool she quickly headed for the ladies’ room. She turned on the cold water and splashed it onto her face. It didn’t make her feel better. She leaned against the sink and looked herself in the face. I know your little secret. Sasha’s words were echoing in her brain. The unexpected face-to-face in the locker room came to her mind like a nightmare again. Obviously, Sasha assumed that Luella was into girls. What else could she think after what had
happened in Paris, anyway? But why would she call it Luella’s secret? Gabriella’s advances had made it absolutely obvious that she was hitting on Sasha and not hiding it at all. From Sasha’s point of view Luella was not hiding a secret from her.
Gabriella bit her lower lip and shook her head but stopped abruptly as her head started spinning again. She groaned. The situation was slipping through her fingers. She couldn’t grasp it. What a disaster! And what if Lulu learned about it? If Sasha was approaching Luella again, probably making allusions, Gabriella knew for sure that her twin would get mad and eventually might even find out what was behind Sasha’s conviction that Luella was gay. That in fact it was Gaga who liked girls.
Stumbling to the bathroom door, Gaga moaned at the thought of Luella finding out. She grabbed the door handle, her heart started beating faster and the room vaguely spun around. With Sasha on the loose, at least knowing that one of the twins was gay, Gaga felt like she was in an uncontrollable, unstoppable racing car heading straight for a wall of bricks and the impact would hurt much more than seeing her sister’s name on her very own Grand Slam trophy. The day she had always imagined to be the best in her life and of her career – the day she would win a Grand Slam – had turned into a dark, frightening nightmare. Gabriella opened the door and staggered outside.
