by Donn, KL
Closing my eyes, I can feel my chest tightening with the agony of realizing I’m truly alone in the world. The tears rush silently down my face as my fists clench into pulse-pounding balls. I want justice. I want life.
I want my sister.
“Isa?” I hate that nickname.
“Don’t call me that!” I scream so loud my ears ring. Curtis called me that. His pimps called me that when they were eyeing me up and down, begging to defile me in the brothel. Sully called me that when he would beat me into unconsciousness.
My strength is my weakness, and right now, it’s swarming my mind on replay.
“Isa! Get over here and strip,” Curtis’ voice commands with menace.
“Feels good, doesn’t it, Isa.” Sully’s voice in my ear is filled with laughter while I vomit in pain.
“Isa, girl, can’t wait to take that cherry.” Marco, one of the pimps, groans as he licks up the middle of my chest.
“Run, Isa!” Cami’s voice because she couldn’t muster the strength to say my full name. The night she died.
Hands touch my shoulders, and I’m brought back from the nightmares of my life as my fists become a flurry of movement and hit wherever I can on whoever is here. “Don’t touch me!” I cry out. My vision is black as I try to fight my way to freedom, only I can’t.
I’m stuck in the hell that is my mind, and all I want is to hug my parents one last time, to hear Cami’s tinkling laughter again. I want to feel love and safety.
“Come back to me, sparrow.” Cross? His deep, soothing voice is a balm to my aching soul.
“Cross.” A deep sob bursts from my chest as I’m bombarded with light. The heat of the sun, the warmth of his body. I feel everything when I want to feel nothing.
“I’m here, sparrow.” His arms wrap around me, dragging me into his body, and I cry into his chest. Heart-wrenching, gut-bursting sobs that leave my throat raw and my pulse beating in my ears.
He sits here, holding me, offering support that I haven’t experienced in a long while.
“I want her back,” I cry out, pounding my fists on his bare chest. Sweat from labored work slicks my hands as he kisses along my cheek.
“I know you do, Bella, and I wish I could bring her back for you, I really do.” His tone carries his anger for the injustices of my past. Without saying so, I know that’s why he’s so filled with rage. A rage that matches my own.
“It’s not fair. It should have been me! It’s all my fault.” My body wilts at the confession, and my eyes grow heavy as Cross whispers in my ear.
“It’s not, Bella. You’re here to live. You’re here to be sure he gets what he has coming. You’re here, Isabella, for me. To be mine.”
His?
I would give anything to be worthy of a man like Cross Malcolm. But I’m not, and soon enough, he’ll see just how tainted I truly am.
* * *
Cross
Obligation kept me away from the house all afternoon. I wanted to stay with Isabella, but I couldn’t. The guys needed my help, and I’ve never been one to allow anyone to do my share of the work. I left my sparrow in Sherri’s capable hands, but I was incapable of concentrating on anything else.
She appeared shattered when the sheriff left, but she put on a brave front for me. I saw through her masked pain and recognized that she was scarcely holding it together.
After all of Bella’s revelations, I believe Colter is on our side now. He’s going to do everything he can to keep her from returning to her uncle and to seek the justice her sister deserves. Just as soon as we’re able, Camilla will have the proper burial with their parents that she is entitled to.
“Hey, man, if you don’t pay attention, you’re going to nail right through your hand.” Nick stares at me, filled with concern. He’s not wrong.
“Shit,” I mutter, noticing how close I was to maiming myself with the hammer I’ve been swinging.
“Go back, Cross. I can handle this.” He waves to the barn now in progress. Thankfully, we’ve made great friends and business transactions, and half the damn ranchers in the county are out helping us.
“I’m not letting everyone else do the work without helping, Nick.” I level him with a glare. He knows me better than that.
“Look, man, you’re not doing anyone any favors by being out here distracted. Someone will eventually get hurt, and you and I both know that’s not what you want.” He props his hands on his hips. “The bulls are out in the south pasture. The horses are in the east. Everyone is locked up tight. Trust your crew to take care of this.” I stare at him for a moment. “Please,” he bites out, and I realize how bad I’ve been because Nick doesn’t do manners.
“Fuck. Fine. But you call if you need anything. I’ll take Jericho with me, and he can bring back some fresh food and drinks. If Isabella’s up for it, maybe we’ll head into town and get some shit for a big barbeque this weekend. Thank everyone for their help.” The barn is only framed out, but it won’t take more than a couple more days to finish.
“Do it, man.” As Nick’s about to slap me on the shoulder, we hear an earsplitting screech coming from the direction of the house.
“Sparrow,” I hiss, instinctively sensing something’s wrong with her. Before I can run two feet, my phone is ringing, and I see the house number flashing across the screen. “I’m on my way, Sherri. Is he there?”
“No. She just…snapped. Something triggered her.” Distress is easily heard in her tone.
“I’ll be there in a minute.” Hanging up the phone, I gaze back to Nick. “I got this. Just keep going.”
“Yeah, I’ll check in later.” I wave as I jump into my truck and speed over the field, directly to the house.
Isabella is sitting on the front porch, eyes closed, fingers gripping the arms of the chairs so tight her hands are white, and tears flow down her cheeks in torrents. So much fucking agony in her slim frame. It’s palpable as I sprint up to her. Sherri comes rushing out of the house with a cool cloth and glass of water, knowing I’m going to need to refresh Bella once she calms down.
“Bella, baby, come back to me,” I say, but I don’t think she hears me. “Come back to me, sparrow,” I try again. And I’ll keep trying until the end of time.
Her broken sob as she whispers my name weakens my knees, and I drop in front of her. There’s so much torture in the single syllable. Picking her up, I place her in my lap as she begs for her sister back. Pounds her frustration out on my chest. I speak soothing words to her until her glassy eyes look up to me after I tell her she’s mine.
“I can’t imagine a world without you in it, Bella.” My words are soft so as not to scare her. “The life you were given was stolen so quickly, but now? Now, I can be there. For the good, the bad, the ugly. You have me, Bella.”
I can see the fight in her stare as she tries to accept what I’m saying. Her heart and head are waging war, and I understand.
Pushing her head against my bare chest, over my heart, I hope she feels how serious I am. How much I want this, us, to be our new reality.
Whatever pain she feels, I’ll absorb it.
Whatever love she needs, I’ll give it.
Whatever dreams she has, I’ll make them happen.
From this moment forward, Isabella Sharp is and will be, the only one I worry about, the one who gets all my effort. My brothers never understood why I went into ranching, chose to breed bulls, and nearly fail at it before I found success. And maybe I didn’t fully get it at the time either. But I needed to make a success of myself after nearly falling on my face more times than I can count in order to be the man Isabella would need when she was ready.
I hate how much heartache she’s had to go through in order to get here, but now that she has, I’ll be her protector, her shield against the world. Meeting her might have been accidental, but my obsession is pure. My need is absolute. And my love is everlasting.
* * *
Isabella
I’m pathetic. A wimp. Needy. I’m that girl al
l the men run from because I’m so broken. I don’t understand how Cross still wants me here. Why he hasn’t kicked me to the curb and told me to never return.
“Why are you doing this?” My voice is raw as I hide my face in his chest. I want nothing more than to be accepted, but the doubts creep in more with each passing silent second.
“Because, sparrow, everything about you belongs to me. Your pain, your happiness, your pleasure. There isn’t a single emotion, feeling, or desire that you have that I won’t turn into everything you want it to be.” His words are so matter of fact, it’s hard not to believe him.
“Isa. Isa is as evil as the devil himself. Nothing good comes of that name.” I confess my trigger. It’s silly and childish, but hearing it results in nothing but abject pain and humiliation.
Rough fingers brush through my hair as Cross contemplates what I’ve said. “Is that what Sherri called you?” I nod against his chest. “I’ll explain to everyone then. Isabella is what you’re to be called.”
“Bella’s okay, too,” I respond, but I feel him shaking his head.
“Bella is mine. Just as sparrow is. Someone calls you either, and their bodies will never be found.” I want to laugh at his threat, but I can tell he’s completely serious.
I’ve never had someone so enamored with me that they’ve claimed a nickname with such vehemence. Before I can dissect it too much, I ask, “Why sparrow?”
“Your hair. Your strength. Your fragility.” He doesn’t even think about it. “Sparrows are tiny creatures, but their desire to live is ingrained in their spirits, just as yours is.”
Pushing up from his chest, I meet Cross’ stare. The resolution and honest truth reflected back at me give me the strength to do what I’ve wanted since I first saw him.
I lean forward, pressing our lips together and savoring the feel of his rigid body against mine as my hands skim his bare chest. The muscles ripple as I lean into his frame and slowly open my mouth for further exploration.
He tastes like sunshine and spring. He’s musky and life-altering. I could subsist off his scent and taste alone and never die. He’s my protector and savior. My lover, my life.
Cross Malcolm is precisely what I’ve spent my years searching for, and from this moment forward, I will do everything in my power to be worthy of this man. I’ll show the world that I’m Isabella Sharp, woman of strength, passion, and life. I’ll be what Cami didn’t get the chance to be and what my parents had dreamed of for us both.
Chapter Six
Cross
Standing on my front porch after the sun has set, the ranch is quiet, and Sherri has gone home after helping Bella clean up. I finally reach into my pocket and make a call I’ve been dreading since I found Isabella in the woods.
“It’s late,” Crux groans into the phone in way of answering.
“It is.” I’ve never asked my brothers for help, and after all Crux has gone through, I hesitate to do so now.
“What’s going on, Cross?” He’s more alert now, and I hear him close a door. Assumedly leaving Farren asleep in bed. It’s after midnight on the east coast, so I knew there was a chance I’d wake him up.
“Need help, man.”
“I’ll be there on the next flight.” My grin is genuine because I expected nothing less, but it’s not what I wanted.
“I don’t need you here. I need advice and possibly Zack.” My brother’s best friend is a killer attorney who has yet to lose a case in his burgeoning career.
“Talk to me, bro.”
“There’s a girl.” His snort emotes everything about that statement. “She’s fucked up, man. Her life is tragic.”
“Tell me about her.” Prison has changed my baby brother, or rather Farren Hallewell did when she moved in next door, years ago. Crux went nuts when he found out about the abuse she was suffering through. Murder was on his mind, and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t successful in getting everything he wanted and more.
“Her name is Isabella Sharp and not forty-eight hours ago, she was nearly burned alive in my barn by her uncle.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck, man.” My sentiments exactly. “Tell me that son of a bitch is dead or on his way to be?”
“Not yet. But if the sheriff can’t make a case, he just might wind up on the wrong side of one of my bulls.” I laugh, but I’m serious. The longer I’m left to contemplate Isabella’s situation, the easier I find her uncle’s death to be.
“You’re not a killer, Cross. Not like me,” Crux muses. When he was arrested and charged, our older brother Crew and I weren’t shocked about what he’d done or why. It is who he is.
“Maybe not.” Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t go to those lengths for someone I love.
“I’ve emailed Zack all your information and a plane ticket. He’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.” Leave it to the kid to take care of shit.
“He’s gonna be pissed at you, man.”
“The princess will get over it. But seriously, Cross, you need me, I’m there. Just say the word.”
“I will, bro.”
“If you married her, there wouldn’t be any problems, you know. Marriage seems to do that.” I know he’s kidding. But it’s also not a bad idea. Even though she’s technically under her uncle’s custody until she’s twenty-one, the courts wouldn’t deny a marriage license.
“Might not be a bad idea,” I ponder, and my brother laughs so loudly I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Everyone judged me, man. They said you and Crew were the good Malcolm boys. I think they forgot we were all cut from the same damn cloth.” He laughs harder. “You better fucking tell me when you plan to, so we can be there. Ren will be pissed if we don’t get an invite.”
“Yeah, man, you’ll be there.” Hanging up the phone, I see I have an email from Zack already. He’s not happy about my brother’s tactics, but he’ll be here to help however he can.
Knowing there’s nothing else I can do tonight, I head inside, locking the doors and windows of my house for the first time since moving to Gateston nearly eight years ago.
Heading upstairs, I walk past the guest room and wonder if I should crash there instead of with Bella in my bed. I insisted she stay in there for selfish reasons. Not only do I want her to imprint herself in my life, but I want her to get used to being in my space and merging it into hers as well.
Entering my room, I push the thought of not sleeping with her to the side as I quietly kick off my boots and strip my jeans. Climbing into bed in nothing but my boxers, I pull Bella into my body and cover her snugly. Protecting her even in sleep.
Her sigh as I wrap myself around her is all I need to know I made the right choice coming in here.
“Cross,” she whispers on a breath.
“I’m here, sparrow. Always here,” I murmur into her hair, laying a light kiss on her head as I relax into the bed.
All too soon, the sun is rising, and my body begins to wake to its internal clock of five a.m. My eyes crack open to see that neither of us has moved all night, and there’s nothing more I’d like than to stay in bed longer, hold Isabella until she wakes but running a ranch can’t be done from a horizontal position.
Chores need to be done, a barn needs to be built, and animals need a cleaning. Which sparks an idea.
Animal therapy.
I’m in no way an expert in the field, but I have a horse, docile as can be that adores being washed and brushed down. Whether she’s been near a horse or not, I know Summer will be the perfect animal for Isabella.
“Bella,” I whisper in her ear. “Time to wake up.” She stretches before her eyes open and looks back at me. “Good morning, gorgeous.”
“Morning.” She glances to the window and, no doubt sees that it’s early in the morning by the position of the sun. “What’s going on?”
“Well,” I begin, “I thought you’d like to come out and do some chores with me once we look at the cuts on the bottom of your feet.”
She’s heali
ng relatively quickly, and I have thick socks to help with any soreness she might feel as well as the clothes and boots Sherri brought for her yesterday.
“Okay.” She smiles up at me, not at all upset that I woke her up early or that I’m putting her to work. Isabella is a woman of many facets. I have a feeling she’s going to surprise me every day with her determination and desires.
* * *
Isabella
After Cross prepared breakfast, he handed me a pair of cushiony socks to wear inside the boots he gave me and a flannel coat that is too big, which makes me suspect it’s his. He said he wants to give me a tour of his ranch. It’s the slow season for him now, and it will likely be the only time he has to show me the ropes.
I suspect he just wants me around him. Which is fine by me because I’m not eager to be away from him for too long, either.
The dewy morning air has a calming effect as we step outside, and the sun immediately warms me. I never thought I’d be any kind of ranch or farm girl, but I’m spellbound by the tranquility of the morning.
“It’s beautiful out here,” I tell Cross as he intertwines our fingers while we walk up to a barn. Horses can be heard shuffling around already.
“Sunsets and rain are my favorite part,” he shares with me as he’s pulling the wooden door open. “This is the main housing for the horses. Each one has an owner here. Some are extras and work great when we hire outside help during breeding season.” Leading me along, he tells me each one’s name and who they belong to until we come to the last stall. “This is Summer, she’s an American Paint horse.”
