"Speak, child, and release the pain."
"They shut you away from the others. You can talk with no one but your keepers. They don't want to talk to you, they just want to lecture—listen, just listen and obey!"
Aetria could see the memory evoked in Coleni was not a pleasant one; she was stirring even more. Loreana extended a hand over Coleni's face and spoke a soft spell. Aetria felt the release of Power like a puff of gentle breeze in her mind. Coleni stopped her restless movement.
"Coleni, release the pain. You did not like being cloistered, but that is not what hurts you so. You defied them in your mind, but made them think they had won. Why did they cloister you?"
A smile crossed Coleni's face and she almost laughed aloud, a little girl's delight in her voice as she spoke. “You are so right. I fooled them; they thought me repentant. It wasn't my fault I lost control. They pushed me to get ahead. I was so much better than the rest. I tried so hard to please them, but I tried too hard. Oh! Had their dreaded burnout! Their horror, their shock. Scared them more than it hurt me."
Loreana looked at Aetria, seeing the flash of compassion cross the Sorceress’ face. “How long did they cloister you, Coleni?"
"A year, from spring to spring. I missed the winter games. I was so mad. All my classmates moved on in training and I was left behind with the newest applicants. Not fair."
"And the next time?"
"My fault ... was so stupid ... should have been more careful."
"Careful of what, Coleni?"
"They tracked our training sources, caught us in the forest by the lake. Wasn't looking for them. Should have. Stupid of me."
Aetria could see Loreana didn't understand Coleni's train of memories. She queried the Healer with her eyes, pointed to herself, then to her lips. Loreana nodded permission. Aetria moved beside Loreana. Speaking as softly as the Healer had, she asked. “Caught you at what, Coleni?"
"Making love. Oh, how wonderful it was, so strong, so satisfying after such a long time."
Loreana spoke. “But Coleni, that is forbidden."
Another sweet smile appeared on the young woman's face. “Yes, but understandable among the first years. One chance given. They didn't know I was not a virgin. Would have beat us and let us go, but said I was a troublemaker. Had to be made an example of. Very stupid of me to seduce my mentor's son. He was very angry and embarrassed. Cost me so very much.” An anguished frown began to appear again on her face.
"Release the pain, Coleni. How were you punished for seducing your mentor's son?"
"Serve the crone! Worse than cloistering. Mentor guessed I was not responding to the obedience teachings. Convinced the Lodge Master to send me to care for mentor's mother until she died. Was so alone, with only the grandmother of my lover to talk to, and she could not speak Hermanian. Three years in the mountains. Twisted, spiteful woman! Had to learn Delmathian just to survive. Came to respect her knowledge, evil as it was. Eternity until she died. Wanted to kill her to make my time go faster, but couldn't. She taught me to, taught me to..."
Coleni slipped deeper into her trance. Loreana tried to call her back. “Coleni, she taught you what, dear?"
Realizing Coleni was not responding, Loreana checked her life signs and sat back suddenly. Aetria panicked.
"She's not dead! By the Power, no!"
"Calm yourself, Aetria. She is resting. I have to say I am very surprised at what I think just occurred. She broke the trance."
"I didn't think that was possible, Loreana. She could not have gotten any Power to counter-spell yours with."
"It wasn't a counter-spell. I have heard of this being done. I have studied the field of mind-healing far more than most. I hope to continue to higher levels when I leave the army and return to Inhestia. Mage Kelristo is the most knowledgeable Mage Healer in our Order on the subject of mind-healing. He once told me that a skilled mind Healer can set up conditions in a patient's mind, that when met, trigger the patient into a natural state of unconsciousness. We must have triggered that in Coleni."
"But who could have done that to her, and why?"
Loreana shrugged her shoulders, “Don't know, but I suspect ‘The Crone.’ Hermanian sorcerers still tend to marry amongst themselves. So her mentor's mother was probably once a sorceress."
"Are you saying that every time we approach that subject, she will pass out? We could never find out what happened when she was cloistered in the mountains."
Stretching to relieve her tension, Loreana sighed wearily. “As you know, we have a battle to be fought. I can't do any more tonight. I must prepare for the casualties that will soon be upon us. Let Coleni rest and heal. To be very truthful, I don't think I can get past the triggers implanted in Coleni concerning what happened to her in the mountains. That information will have to be from Coleni herself—awake and willing. However unpleasant that experience was, I don't think it is the source of her current pain. When I can in the next few days, I will try to find what is causing her pain and release it. That is our goal, Aetria. Not to pry into Coleni's background—as much as both of us want to do, that is not our purpose."
Both women cringed, sensing of massive Power usage coming from the front lines. The battle had begun, and from the energy being expended, it was going to be a major one.
* * * *
The Delmathians overwhelmed and humiliated the Hermanians’ armies. Having lost two major battles in less than a year, the Hermanians sued for peace. Loreana became swamped by the returning casualties and had to take two days to gain control over the death rate and stabilize the wounded so long-term healing could take place.
Aetria was kept just as busy trying to take care of Coleni. The young woman was not responding to Aetria on any level beyond staring at her when Aetria spoke to her. Coleni would not move beyond the sleeping pallet she lay upon, even for nature's calls. Aetria became convinced Coleni was dying, not from any wound or grid burnout, but by willing herself to do so. Finally, out of desperation, Aetria sent for Loreana. When the Healer arrived, Aetria regretted sending for her, for she had clearly not rested for the last two days and looked totally worn out.
"Loreana, I'm sorry, but Coleni is not responding to anything I do. I think she is dying."
The Healer moved over to the sleeping Coleni, monitoring the woman's life signs. “She is healed of the broken rib, but her heart is still broken—not literally, but might just as well be. You were right to call me. We must find the source of her pain and heal it before she can mend. I am depleted of any Power. I must restore my grid, at least partially, to be of help. I will return in several hours. If I do not, come get me yourself. You might find me passed out by a source."
Loreana had no sooner left the tent than Lieutenant Valetti arrived with a summons from the general for Aetria. As the general still wanted the presence of Coleni kept secret, Lieutenant Valetti was to watch over Coleni in Aetria's absence. She ran to Sonja's command tent. With receipt of permission to enter after her arrival hail, she passed by the guards at the door and went in.
"Reporting as ordered, General."
"You look much better than I last saw you, Sorceress. Adept Loreana has done miracles.” Sonja was dressed in a plain robe, fresh from a hot bath, her short hair still damp.
"Thank you, Ma'am, you are looking rather refreshed yourself."
Sonja toweled off the wetness in her hair and draped the towel over the weapons rack to dry. She offered Aetria a seat as she moved to take one herself.
"The king was approached by Adept Cemaron and asked to exert his influence on me to release you. As the commanding officer of the sorcerer regiment, he is miffed he doesn't control you, and used his position as Mage Council representative to petition the king directly. I blistered his butt for the effort but couldn't prevent him from doing so. The king asked me to release you to attend your hearing."
Aetria held her breath, waiting for Sonja's decision.
"I told him I would personally escort you to the hearing. Of course, it w
ill take a little longer than it would if you had to ride direct, since I will have numerous protocol visits to make with villages and towns along the way. My guess is at least a month. That should give you adequate time to prepare a defense, Sorceress."
"It is more than I could possibly hope for, except..."
"Except? You need more time?"
"No, Ma'am. Could we ensure our route passes by the Logathian Mountains? They lie along the eastern border between Hermania and my Order's estates. You could say it was part of a victory tour."
"Then it shall be so. We will leave in a week. I will send a messenger to the Council of Magi that we will arrive within six weeks.” Aetria stood, expecting Sonja's dismissal.
"How is the Hermanian sorceress doing?"
Aetria could not help the distress that showed on her face, which must have alarmed Sonja. “Something is wrong. Tell me,” the general said.
Aetria wrung her hands briefly, then answered in a rush. “Her name is Coleni, and she is dying of despair. Loreana is going to try to heal her tonight. Coleni was among the recruit sorcerers that Pleates and I fought three months ago. The Hermanian Novice Aggressor I killed there was very close to her. She collapsed on hearing that news and has not responded to me since."
Sonja sat staring at Aetria, a slight smile on her face. After a moment, she stood and came over to the sorceress. Putting a hand on her shoulder, she looked into Aetria's eye.
"You certainly do lead a complicated life, Aetria. This time I am not going to even try to figure this out until you do. One thing I do know about death, and people's response to it, is that some act as if to blame for what happened. Let me know how Loreana's treatment works out. Coleni seems to be the key to this puzzle, a puzzle that is getting bigger every day."
* * * *
Aetria found Lieutenant Valetti slumped in a chair, staring at Coleni. Hearing her enter the tent, he stood up and walked over to her. “She does not look good, Sorceress,” he said, in a soft voice. “I have seen soldiers who have given up on life, and she has that look. Did the defeat of her people cause this?"
Looking at Coleni, who appeared asleep, Aetria shook her head. “I haven't told her about that. I don't think she feels that strongly about the rights and wrongs of who won or lost. This is something else. Thank you for watching her for me. Did she say anything at all?"
"No, I don't think she even knew I was here. Good luck on saving this one, Sorceress.” He left, shaking his head sadly.
* * * *
"Coleni, can you hear me?” Loreana asked the woman lying still on the sleeping pallet. She had spoken the trance spell over her and was seated by her head as before. Loreana looked almost as bad as Coleni, but the intensity of the concern the Healer felt for her patient was burning in her eyes.
"Go away, I want to die."
"No, I am here to bring you peace. Don't you want peace most of all?"
"Peace? I want to stop dreaming, to stop knowing."
Aetria slowly moved up next to Loreana. She was having a hard time hearing the exchange between the Healer and Coleni.
"Knowing what, Coleni?"
"No, run away—won't go there."
"Coleni, stop running. Turn and look back. What do you see?"
"The enemy! Delmathians dressed like us. Too many of them. Aggressors."
Loreana looked quizzically at Aetria.
"Where? On that hill, the hill south of the camp?” Aetria asked, using the same soft tone as Loreana.
"Yes, attacking the camp. And ... Oh! More sorcerers over there on the northern hill."
"Where are you running to?"
"To warn Sorceress Telori. To get help. Find Lornes!"
Aetria recognized the name of the young Aggressor Novice she killed. “Where is Lornes?"
Coleni was beginning to writhe slowly, her arms and legs demanding to be part of the picture she was seeing in her mind. “Sent him for help. Told him, ‘Warn the Watch Captain, intruders in camp. Then report to Sorceress Telori!’ He insisted I go instead. Refused because Lornes is hurt. I tell him it is an order. I am senior Novice. Mistake—Oh! Shouldn't have left him."
The Healer shushed Aetria with a finger to her own lips. The events in Coleni's mind must be so close to what was causing Coleni's pain that she wanted to back away in time to ensure Coleni did not break the trance again. “Coleni, before you ran, before seeing the enemy, before that—what do you see?"
Coleni relaxed; her intensified writhing stopped. A soft smile came to her lips, and she moaned gently. “Almost dawn, it is dark, but above me. Lornes’ face, his eyes, closed? Why does he close his eyes when he makes love to me? Doesn't he want to see my happiness? So nice, so exciting."
The change in Coleni was shocking. One minute she was in agony, the next in ecstasy. Loreana was in tune with Coleni, the older woman having had more experience in life than Aetria, perhaps even this. Aetria had known a lover's caress, but not his intimacy. She felt very odd listening to this.
"Where are you now, Coleni?” Loreana asked quietly.
"Hiding in these nice thick bushes. Alone, with Lornes."
"Why are you in the bushes?"
A gentle laugh escaped from Coleni. “Supposed to be on watch. Can't make love on watch! Can't make love at all; stupid rule."
Aetria's first reaction to Coleni's words was anger. The two Novices were having sex while they were supposed to be guarding the camp. An angry glance from Loreana stopped Aetria from admonishing Coleni. She sat back and willed herself to be free from emotion, to open her mind and keep from feeling the indignation.
"And Lornes? What is he doing now?"
Aetria looked in shock at Loreana. Why was she abiding this behavior?
"Oh, he stopped! He is looking around. He says he hears ... hears gurgling?"
"Gurgling?"
"Oh! Power, someone smashes into us. Blood! Blood everywhere. Our guard, our real guard—his throat gone. A shadow, it moves. A man all in black—no face, just eyes. Lornes standing, trying to protect me. The man knocks him down, a knife at Lornes’ throat. No, no ... He laughs at us. Kicks Lornes in the stomach. Lornes is gagging. The man is gone. Danger, danger.” Coleni began to writhe again. Loreana deepened the trance.
"Rest, Coleni. You are safe and in peace. Rest."
Coleni stilled once again.
Looking up at Aetria, Loreana asked, “Do you know what happened there?"
Aetria nodded, her mind still locked on the scene as she herself had experienced it. “She and Lornes must have been standing Novice watch as part of their indoctrination training, probably at the base of our hill. The real guarding of the camp was done by the regular army troops. We had scouted their guard positions previous to our attack and had sent the Guard to take them out.
"The Guard's uniforms are all black, and they cover their faces. Apparently our Guard came upon the two in the bushes while killing the sentry he was sent after. Don't know why he didn't kill them also. Amused at their sexual activity? Apparently he tossed the dead sentry on top of them, then took off to join the other Sorcerer Guards who were mounting up to rush the camp. We attacked at first light, so there was a time difference between our lovers being discovered and her seeing our attack."
"It does seem that way. Very well, we will bring her back to that point."
Bending over the sleeping Coleni, Loreana brought her closer to awake. “Coleni, slowly, slowly think of Lornes hurt. What is happening now?"
"Must warn the camp. Lornes is holding his stomach, groaning. I look around, trying to see the man. There, on the hill above, I see people silhouetted against the dawn's light. Our Novices? Lornes, get up and go get help. I'm going to warn our people on the hill. No, he won't go, says it is his job. Wrong, wrong junior Novice! Do as you are ordered. He is running towards the camp. I am climbing the hill. The others are in danger from the man in black.
"Wait, wait! Why are they spelling fireballs at the camp? Not ours—Delmathians! Run, have to get away. Fierce screami
ng next to me! Horses and men, men in black charging the camp. Turn left, run back into the brush. They don't see me! There in the clearing, I see our guards forming. The Reserve, it is coming towards me. ‘Look out, enemy sorcerers on the hills. Look out.’”
Aetria quietly but urgently asked, “Coleni, where is Lornes? Is he with the reserve?"
"I don't see him. They are rushing the hill. An explosion, I am on the ground. Dizzy. Where is Lornes? I don't know. Must find him. Up on the hill, a lightning stroke. Lornes’ magic! The Reserve regrouping, running past me shooting arrows. Must follow. Oh! Power, oh! No, Lornes, Lornes—"
Loreana spelled the convulsing sorceress into a deep sleep. Monitoring the young woman, she sat back and said with a sigh, “We have found the event that triggered her withdrawal, but now, how do we stop her pain?"
Aetria's mind was reeling from the images evoked by Coleni's gasped-out, tortured story. She wondered if she was somehow connected to the woman's mind. She got up from her stiff kneeling position by the Healer and walked to her table to pour them some wine. Her throat was raw and dry, as if she had been living Coleni's last desperate few minutes. Loreana sat in a nearby chair, watching her as she brought their drinks.
"You must have been in empathic link with Coleni. You should have been a Healer."
Shaking her head, Aetria sat down beside her friend. “Didn't test out that way at all. Maybe I feel her story so strongly because I was there at the same battle."
"Or maybe because you two are twin sisters. The chance of two non-related people of the same age looking alike has got to be almost none. We do know that twins share a bond; we are not sure how or why."
Taking a long sip of her wine, Aetria avoided a response. Was Coleni her sister? How? What did her parents not tell her?
"Look, Loreana, I am a foster child to a Tierian father and a Delmathian mother. All I know about my earliest life is what they have told me. I could very well be Coleni's twin sister. What if I am? How does that help you heal her? Can't you just stop the pain?"
"I wish I could, Aetria. This is a mind-created pain. I can stop the pain only by numbing the mind. In effect, as long as she is aware, she will be in pain. She is trying to punish herself for something. I think she blames herself for Lornes’ death, but why should she? As you pointed out, she had already accepted his death months ago. What has changed?"
Wild Sorceress Page 20
