by Amber Flora
“Did you love her?”
I knew nothing of the man standing before me; to me he was just a man that lurked in the dark shadows of my dreams. He had never come for me. This man abandoned the mother of his child when she needed him the most. That did not strike me as a man of integrity, no matter to reason.
“From the depths of my soul. Deandra was the light of my meek existence.”
“Then how could you have just left her when she was most vulnerable? How could you have allowed another man to raise me?”
I looked upon his face, seeking signs of remorse. If he had any he did not show it.
“I sought your mother's affection from the moment I laid eyes upon her. She wanted nothing to do with me at first, rejecting my attempts to court her, not allowing me near her strongly guarded heart. Deandra loved all regardless of their race or status, but she would not allow herself to be loved back. It wasn’t until I spoke of my desires of a combined world, one where all races could live as one that she finally began to open her heart to me. We kept our relationship a secret for years. Both afraid of what our people would do to us if we were found it. She was the High Priestess and I was set to take my mother's spot on the wizard committee. When she revealed to me she was carrying my child I wanted to marry her, I cared not that we came from different realms. I was prepared to give it all up to be her husband and your father; consequences be damned.”
I imagined a young couple torn between duty and love, wanting a life to call their own. How different would all our lives had been if they would have just been accepted?
“Deandra never revealed her premonitions to me. I think she was afraid I would change what she believed to be fated. She came to me the day of the attack on Avonya. Elias was killed and she was alone. I hid her the only place I could think of to keep her safe, with Ken. Deandra begged me to leave her and return home; she said it was the only way to keep you safe. She told me you would find me when the time was right, that I had to let you go. I tried to keep my promise, but you are my daughter and the pull to be near you was just too much. I visited you when I could; remaining unseen and watching over you as you slept. You were and always will be my greatest treasure.”
I felt an imaginary pull all of the sudden like I was being yanked out of my dream. I tried to fight it off, to remain anchored to dream realm with my father, but the pull was getting stronger. I turned to see Cody running up to us.
“Ashtyn, we have to go now!” He demanded.
I looked back at my father, seeing his expression turn to one of concern.
“No, we can’t. I have so many more questions!” I screamed, not budging.
“We have to go, they are here. Mac is holding them off.”
Algon placed his hands on my shoulders, directing my attention back to him.
“I can’t be discovered. It will ruin all of our plans. Go, child, and get to safety. I will find you again soon.”
He kissed my forehead and backed up.
Was my father a coward? Was some part of him still ashamed of me, of his impure daughter? Before I could protest any further I awoke to Ben slapping me in the face.
“Ouch!” I screamed, hurling off the couch.
“I tried waking you gently, but you weren’t coming back,” Ben said defensively.
“I told you, ya gave her too much blood,” Mac accused Brian.
“I’m all right. Everybody calm down.”
My head was spinning and I was furious about being removed from my dream before I could get all the answers.
“Do you think they saw him?” I asked, praying my father got away safely.
“Nah, I had those buggers chasing their tails,” Mac boasted.
Ben sat down beside me.
“Did he tell you where Ser'ie was?”
I shook my head no.
“I never got a chance to ask him.”
“Dammit, Ashtyn, did you get anything we could use?”
Cody grabbed Ben up by his collar, slamming him into the living room wall.
“You piece of shit, she just met her father for the first time. Don’t you think she had a right to find out about why all of this is happening to her?”
Ben gave Cody a threatening glare.
“Get off me! I sympathize with her, but we have the Credo getting closer by the minute. We have to do something. This isn’t just about Ashtyn; try not to forget that.”
I whistled loudly and they all turned around to look at me.
“If anyone is curious, I have a plan. Mac do you have anyone in the magic realm you can trust?”
He looked at me perplexed.
“I got a few good chaps that way. Why, what are you thinking?”
What was I thinking? I began to wish I was capable of avoiding sleep. I was exhausted, and every time I solved one problem it seemed another took its place. If this was all immortality had to offer they could count me out. When this whole thing is over the council owes me a nice little vacation.
“Find me a teacher, it’s time I learn a little magic.” Brian piped up.
“Forgive me for asking, but is now the time to pull a rabbit of the hat?”
I smiled slyly.
“Now is the perfect time to do just that. If you have your father's traits then I might have mine. If I can learn to use magic to manipulate my dreams then we can turn the tides of this war.”
They all looked at me in astonishment.
“You’re a genius! Do you really think it could work?” Cody asked enthusiastically.
“There’s only one way to find out.”
After days of Mac searching for a trustworthy teacher to show me the ways of magic, I was more than shocked when he strolled into the living room with none other than my grandmother Victoria.
“Child, I’m so thankful you’re all right. I was worried sick about you.”
“Victoria?” She waved a hand in the air.
“Please call me Mimi. I always wanted to be a grandmother.”
I stood up to shake her hand, but she pulled me into a hug.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was told my granddaughter needed a teacher. So here I am, Mimi to the rescue,” she said, winking at Mac.
“Is Algon alright? Did he make it out all right?”
She laid some books down on the coffee table, stretching her back.
“He’s fine, sweetie. I can’t contact him directly, it’s too dangerous, but he got word to me.”
I sighed with relief.
“Victoria, I mean, Mimi, do you know where Ser'ie is?”
I had to ask, if something were to happen and I didn’t get that question out Ben would kill me for sure.
“I do not, neither does your father. I know that was going to be your next question. Deandra told no one, not even Algon. She was very protective of those she loved.”
I felt a little defeated.
“Don’t feel that way, child. It will all work out, even if we don’t know how at the moment. Fate is funny that way, when all seems lost she still has a plan for us.”
“How did you know how I was feeling?” I asked, feeling creeped out.
“Clairvoyant, remember?” she responded, snapping her fingers.
“Now, how about we learn a few charms. I don’t suppose you know how to summon rain do you?”
I shook my head no.
“I don’t know anything, I’m afraid.”
Victoria smiled reassuringly.
“Oh, I seriously doubt that. After all you are your father's daughter.”
Learning magic was a lot like learning a new language. I had the tools, but my brain just wasn’t picking up the signals. I was beginning to regret my not-so-thought-out plan and seriously questioned if I really were the daughter of a wizard. Shouldn't spells and charms come second nature to me? I could tell the boys were uncomfortable about having a wizard in their home, especially when I nearly took out the city’s power with a burst of uncontrollable energy. It made me reflect on the words
my father had spoken the night I met him. He had wanted one world, a place where everyone could be who they are without fear of persecution. It was a great thought, dreamwalkers and wizards living as one, but if the looks on my friends’ faces when I learned another spell or charm held any truth to them, we were a long way from being equals in each other's eyes.
Cody dodged the glass hurling at him just in time to see it smash into the wall behind him.
“I give up, I can’t do it!” Ashtyn yelled, throwing her hands up in frustration.
“Nonsense child, that’s what you said about the illuminating charm and now look at you, you’re a pro,” Victoria encouraged.
It had been a month since she started learning magic and she was getting pretty good at it, but the stress was taking its toll on her. She had been practicing nearly nonstop and when she wasn’t, she was sleeping. He knew if he didn’t talk her into taking a break she was going to get burnt out and quite frankly a worn-out dreamwalker with wizard powers wasn’t safe for anyone. He walked up to Victoria and kissed her cheek. He liked Victoria. She was wise and patient, but most of all, he could tell she really loved Ashtyn. Those two had really bonded since her arrival. Victoria had told her stories about her father and uncle. How they were when they were children, what she had in common with them. She tried to help Ashtyn connect more with the man she never knew. Victoria even told the secret about how Avonya came to be. Algon and Victoria had created Avonya from Deandra’s visions. Algon’s magic was powerful, so much in fact that he was not only able to enter dream realm, but he could manipulate a human's dream while he or she slept. His and Deandra’s hope was to unite the dream and magic realms to become one. The two races could learn much from each other, and if they could find a way to end the segregation of races then they could be together.
“Victoria, do you mind if I speak with Ashtyn alone for a moment?” He asked, watching her sweep up what was left of the drinking glass.
“Of course, it will give me a chance to ask Mac what on earth he uses to keep his floors so clean.” Victoria winked as she strode out of the room.
“I know what you’re going to say. Stop being so stubborn and just focus.”
Cody quirked a brow.
“Actually quite the opposite, I was going to suggest a night out.”
She stopped sweeping and looked up at him.
“Did you hit your head? Mr. Serious wants to go out?”
“You have been working so hard that I’m afraid you're forgetting what all of this is for.”
She sat down, pulling her hair into a ponytail.
“That’s all I think about. To save the dreamwalkers and restore Avonya.”
He raised her chin to look at him.
“No, Little Phoenix. It’s about having a life of your own, family and friendships. All of this is useless without those things.”
He wondered if she knew how strong she really was. He wanted to tell her that not many people would hold onto their sanity after all she endured, but he knew even if he said those words she would never believe them.
“All right, Mr. Mass. What’s your idea of a night out?”
“Girls against boys!” Gloria cheered as she entered names into a computer.
“This is your idea of a night out?”
I nudged Cody, watching Mac trying to explain the rules of the game to Kat.
“Bowling is a great way to blow off steam. I bet my night out doesn’t end in two men getting their asses kicked,” he joked.
“Two? I know the cowboy got a nice little shiner. Who else deserved the wrath of Dakota Mass?”
He smirked.
“Not me, Mac. He kicked the shit out of the guy who pushed you up against the wall after he walked backed into the club.”
I glanced at Mac and back to Cody.
“He saw that?”
“He was ready to snap his neck until he saw Ben walk up, when the guy walked back inside Mac went around the front to meet him.”
That man always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Exactly how many times has he saved my ass? I patted Cody on the back and walked over to where Mac stood. He was laughing at Gloria doing a granny roll down the lane.
“Ready to get your butt kicked by a woman?” I asked, with a wink.
“Ahh, Macree, any touch from you is a welcome one. However if you are speaking of beating me at this game I’m afraid I will have to disappoint you.”
I placed my arm on his.
“I don’t think you could ever disappoint me.”
He looked like he was fighting an internal battle and losing.
“I’m not good for you, lass. What happened that night was out of necessity, no more to it than that I’m afraid.”
Feeling like I got punched in the gut, I took a step back.
“Is that all I am to you? An obligation? You know what? You’re right, you aren’t good for me. All you care about is the chase.”
Kat was waving her arms in the air.
“Hey, Ashtyn it’s your turn.”
I headed toward the others when he grabbed my arm, spinning me around.
“I would chase you to the depths of hell if I had to. You deserve better than me. I’m as fecked up as they come.”
I jerked my arm away from him feeling the sting of rejection.
“The only thing fucked up about you, Fintan Mac Donagh, is you think you’re not worth loving.”
Mac had tried to keep his distance from Ashtyn since the night she drank vampire blood and nearly tore away his restraint. He thought about the feel of her bare skin beneath his hands, the taste of her sweet skin as she begging to be touched. When he closed his eyes he could still smell the lavender and jasmine that consumed his senses while he pleasured her. Neither of them had told Cody what transpired between them, but the shame of his betrayal dominated his thoughts. Why did he feel as though he had sinned? Cody had never made his intentions toward Ashtyn known; he had never even tried to be anything more than a friend to her and he had months to do so. Even so, he felt as though he had committed treason and the guilt of his actions led him to distance himself from the one person he wanted nothing more than to be near. He wanted to run his hands through the curls of her hair, kiss the tender part of her neck and whisper all the things he had been longing to say, but how could he even put into words the feelings she stirred inside of him. How could he tell her that he hadn’t felt this way in such a long time, that perhaps he had never felt that way? He loved Sarah once, but those feelings were never this intense. All he knew for certain was she occupied his every thought and he couldn’t imagine a life without her in it.
After my little tiff with Mac I really did have a good time. It was funny how much my life had changed in such a short amount of time. Before I got thrust into chaos I spent my nights curled up with a book or eating ice cream and watching a chick flick with Lori. Now I was hanging out at a bowling alley drinking beer with five people I really considered my friends. okay, maybe four. Even though Ben had protected me in shadow realm I wasn’t too keen on the idea of being friends with a man who was obsessed with my mother and made out with her daughter. Seeing Kat and Cody interact with each other actually made me smile. It just came so natural to them. They had a lifetime of stories about one another and every time she laughed Cody’s eyes would light up. I wondered if he was even aware of how she looked at him. It was then I realized my true feelings for him. I cared for him, there was no doubt about that but not in the romantic sense. Cody was more like the brother I never had. Annoying and controlling but protective to a fault. I thought about everyone's idea of fate, was there such a thing as destiny and soulmates? If so, I doubt there was anyone for me. An impure High Priestess' daughter with a whole army out for her head; sure, who wouldn’t want a piece of that action? It didn’t matter anyway. I didn’t have time for love; I barely had time to think. I had more important things looming over my head.
After arriving home from our night out I decided it was time to ha
ve a little talk with Cody. I knew it was going to be uncomfortable but we needed to clear the air. I found him in the study looking over some documents.
“Hey, can we talk?” I sat on futon near his chair.
“Is something wrong?”
He put aside his papers looking up at me. I tried to slow my racing heart.
“Everything is fine, I just want to be honest with you about something.” I took a deep breath and continued.
“I know in the beginning I may have been giving off mixed signals, I guess I grew feelings for you because you were so familiar to me. You have done so much for me and you barley know me. I’m grateful for all you have done and I do care for you.” Cody raised his finger to his mouth indicating me to stop talking.
“It’s alright, if we are being honest with each other then I need to tell you the truth as well. I care about you a great deal. You are an amazing and beautiful woman. A man would have to be dumb and blind not to see that but I feel as though I have not only deceived you but myself. I have waited so long for the Phoenix to rise, I built up this idea of you in my head and then tried to force the world’s problems on you. To me you will always be my little Phoenix. I will always protect you but you are right, ours feelings for one another is not the feelings of a couple; I see that now.”
I sighed with relief. I was glad we were on the same page, I believed him when he said he would always be there for me. We did have a special bond, it wasn’t romantic and wouldn’t end as happily ever after but we were a team. I would have his back and he would have mine.
I sat at the dining room table scarfing down my grilled-cheese sandwich. Practicing magic was kind of like spending a day in the pool. A lot of fun but it left you tired and hungry.
“Mimi, do you think I’m the Phoenix?”
I could tell I caught Victoria off-guard the way she immediately quit eating and leaned back in her chair.
“Your father believes you are, as do many others.”
Well that didn’t exactly answer my question.
