by T. S. Joyce
It seemed like such a loss, but it shouldn’t have been. Of course he couldn’t. They didn’t know each other. And even if something…strange…was happening between them, it didn’t make up for the fact that their paths had only crossed yesterday. And truth be told, she couldn’t be trusted. There. There it was. She was here to do exactly what he was suspicious of. Her chest burned under his rejection and anger.
“You’re hurting me,” she said in a ragged whisper.
“I’m not touching you,” he said as he jerked her pile of clothes from the table near the fence.
The brown paper parcel fell into the mud and she lunged for it, not wanting it to get wet. Inhumanly fast, Chase bent and pulled it out of her reach.
“What’s this, spy?”
She hated that word. Even if it was who she was, she didn’t want it to be and hadn’t chosen this path for herself.
“Don’t,” she cried as he ripped into it, nearly spilling the herbs inside.
He frowned and lifted his confused gaze to hers. “What is this?”
A tear slipped to her cheek, warm and moist as it slid down her skin and fell to the earth. “I went to see Daria so I could make you the balm.”
Riker was herding the onlookers away and she gathered her clothes to her chest, feeling raw and vulnerable under Chase’s impossibly bright gaze.
Her vocal chords felt crushed as she whispered, “I’m sorry I thought I was mated. I didn’t know any different.”
Chase hung his head and shook it slowly, staring at the bundled herbs in his oversized hand. They looked ridiculous, fragile even, against his calloused palm.
“I didn’t mean to shame you, woman. I thought it was part of the ruse.”
And right then, she decided there would be no ruse. She wasn’t going to spy for Nathan. She would meet him at the end of the week and tell him she was done. Done with his games, done betraying Bear Valley. Done with him. She couldn’t cause Chase the pain she saw in his eyes right now.
She gasped as Chase hooked his arm around her neck and pulled her against him. His skin was warm and smooth against her breasts and he buried his face against her neck. Inhaling deeply, he said, “I was with a woman for a long time—a woman I couldn’t trust.”
Determined to be better for him, she said, “You can trust me.”
“I’m beginning to see that. I shouldn’t have overreacted in front of everyone, and I’m sorry.”
Why did his apology make her want to cry? Not just cry, but sob under the tidal wave of emotion being around him drown her in. She couldn’t recall anyone ever saying sorry to her. She felt so safe and whole up against him. His erection was pressed like stone against her belly, but he didn’t ask more from her than an embrace. She wished she hadn’t been born a Long Claw and that he hadn’t been with the woman who hurt him. She wished she met him first, before Nathan made her into a weak woman.
“Everything’s okay,” she said against his pounding heart. “Can we go home now?”
A deep chuckle vibrated against her cheek. “Come on, spy.”
Except now the word had lost its venom. She didn’t mind it as much when he said it like this—like an endearment. She’d never had a nickname before.
Dressed once again, she climbed the fence behind Chase and he turned and offered his hand.
“You’re much nicer here than you are in training,” she said, letting him help her down.
“Coddling you in the ring won’t save your life in battle, Anya. I have to be tough in there. I won’t give you anything you can’t handle. You’re stronger than you know. You just have to discover your limits.”
She walked beside him and bit her lip against creeping shyness. “I’m sorry I took a swipe at you.”
His clothes lay in tatters in the arena behind them, and he looked down at his bleeding chest. Four shallow marks marred his skin. “I’ve had worse.”
Her gaze dipped to the gaping wound that was still unable to heal. “Did that happen during the battle with the Long Claws?”
“Ha! I wish. Brody gave this little love bite to me.” He dipped his head, eyes dancing with humor. “I hugged Joanna and he’s a bit touchy about people touching his mate.”
“Brody did that?” she squeaked. He’d seemed really quiet and nonthreatening to her, but he’d mauled Nathan and now Chase, the two strongest bears she’d ever seen. “Holy crow, his bear must be a monster. Did you fight back?”
“He’s one of my best friends. I fought, but not like I was defending my life. I didn’t want to hurt him. He didn’t feel the same in that moment.”
Anya was having a legitimately difficult time not staring at his jutting shaft on proud display and bobbing seductively with every powerful step he took. She ripped her gaze away and watched the evening shadows stretching across the trail in front of them instead. “Are you two okay now?”
“Me and Brody? Oh, yeah. We were fine by the next day. It’s stupid to hold onto that stuff.”
“Mmm,” she grunted noncommittally.
“You don’t agree?”
“It sounds nice in theory, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be mad at Nathan for a long time.”
“I can make you stop thinking about him.” His voice was teasing and his eyes danced with amusement. It was impossible to tell if he was serious or not.
“How?”
The humor slipped from his face and his ruddy eyebrows drew down as if she were a puzzle with pieces that didn’t match. He stopped and turned, drawing her close and cradling the back of her head with his hand. Her breath quickened and she rested her hands on his taut hips, daring him.
Thoughts of Nathan and anger and betrayal slipped away as he lowered his lips slowly to hers. The kiss was chaste and questioning, and he pulled back and searched her eyes.
Her stomach was twisting and turning in on itself, and her knees began to shake.
“Anya,” he whispered and she couldn’t pull her gaze away from his sensual mouth as it formed her name. He pulled the neck of her shirt aside and ran his thumb against the smooth skin beneath her collar bone. “I’m glad he didn’t mark you.”
Before she could overthink it or change her mind, she pushed upward on her tiptoes and threw her arms around his neck. His lips pressed against hers but there was nothing innocent about it now. He drew her bottom lip into his mouth and bit down until she groaned, then thrust his tongue against hers, lapping and tasting.
Pressing against him, she trailed her finger between them and touched his erection.
“No,” he moaned into her mouth before pulling away. “We have time and you’ve been through a lot, Anya. I don’t expect that. Right now I just want to kiss you until you only think of me.”
She smiled, feeling relieved and disappointed and awed all at once. Just kissing? This was a first. “Okay.”
He cupped her face and his thumb stroked a languid circle against her cheekbone as he lowered his lips to hers again. He pulled her to a tree and leaned back against it, drawing her flush against him and splaying his legs. She melted against his warmth as he wrapped his arms around her, creating a cocoon of safety. His jaw worked with the rhythm he set, and even though she wanted more, she didn’t push for it, and was rewarded with the sweetest intimate experience. It was nice to kiss a man who cared. And she knew Chase wasn’t just pushing for this to get her in bed. Him wanting to slow things down proved that. His outburst earlier proved it more.
Not so deep down, he cared for her.
And as scary as it was, she could admit to herself that it was okay to care for him too.
Chapter Seven
“What do you think it says about me that I’m in another man’s bed within two days of leaving a man I thought had claimed me?” It was late and Anya was laying on Chase’s queen sized mattress with a pint of vanilla ice cream and a spoon of the frozen treat hovering in front of her lips.
Chase stalked to the bed and came to lie on top of her, nestled between her thighs. She fed him a spoonful and l
eaned her cheek against his short hair. It tickled her face and she sighed a contented sound. If she were a werepanther, she’d be purring about now.
“It means you were ready to move on from a situation that hurt you for a long time. And it means fate had other plans for you.”
“You don’t think less of me?”
“Woman, I was the one who kissed you first, remember? I need to take a shower.” He flicked a piece of dried mud from the base of her throat and smile suggestively.
“If I take a shower with you, we’re doing more than kissing. You’re driving me crazy.”
His eyes narrowed, but his smile stayed in place as he slid toward the foot of the bed. His hands gripped her hips and she writhed at the feel of his body gliding over her. He buried his nose into the denim fabric that covered her sex and inhaled.
“You don’t smell like you’re in heat, but you seem needy enough.”
If he only knew how horny inner bear had been drooling over him all day, he’d be appalled.
Resting his chin on her inner thigh, he said, “Can I tell you something kind of strange?”
“Anything,” she said, pushing her hips further up so his lips pressed onto the seam of her pants.
He chuckled and bit the denim fabric playfully. “Today, when I saw your bear, I found her seductive. Or my bear did. I’ve never, you know…”
“Been attracted to another woman’s bear before?”
“Yeah.”
“I like your bear, too.”
“There was a moment…I thought of doing filthy things to you, Anya, and I didn’t care which form you were in.”
A smile of relief cracked her face. “I felt the same.”
“Have you ever?”
“Oh, God no. You?”
“Fucked a woman in bear form? No. I prefer you like this. With the light touching your hair like that, and that sexy smile.” He kissed her jeans and she rocked against the sensation.
“Don’t say fucked with me, Chase. I won’t ever be a fucked woman again.”
“I would never. You’re more than that and you know it. If you don’t, let me show you.” He unsnapped her button and pried the zipper down and she gasped.
“Tell me to stop and I will,” he demanded huskily, his gaze intent.
“I’ve never done this.”
Confusion flitted across his face. “You’ve never had someone kiss you here?”
“Nathan said it was of no benefit to him.”
“Good, then this can be mine. His loss.”
Put the ice cream down and look sexy, horny inner bear advised. Right.
He pulled her shorts and panties down her legs, then trailed kisses from her ankle to the apex between her thighs. She clenched the covers as he slowly dipped his tongue inside of her, shallow at first as she gasped his name, then deeper with each stroke until she was filled with him.
“Oh my gosh,” she breathed, spreading her knees wider. The sensation was so overwhelming, felt so good as he lapped her.
Reaching down, she ran her fingers through his hair and reveled in the feel of his head bobbing in rhythm to the penetration he was bowing her with. Arching, pressure built deep inside of her, and his fingers dug into her hips, pulling her to him like she could never be close enough. She moaned as she came, a crashing orgasm that had her clenching her legs and curling her toes. Chase didn’t stop until the pulsing disappeared and she lay spent on the covers.
He took another deep breath and kissed her sex sweetly. The scratch of his stubble made her shiver and she released his hair so he could leave the triangle she’d made with her thighs.
“Are you satisfied?” he asked in that deliciously deep voice of his.
“Yes.” For now. She’d probably have a full blown addiction to hooha kisses by morning.
“Good, then come take a shower with me.”
Teasing, she said, “Oh, I see what you did there.”
Clamping his hands on her backside, he slid her down the bed and stood her up. Geez, she felt like the wet noodle he had talked about earlier.
“I like to get what I want, but I’m not above compromising,” he murmured.
Compromise. She’d never known the concept before now. Taking a shower with a man? Another first and she smiled at his strong back as he led her to the bathroom.
He hit the hot tap and pulled her shirt over her head. His fingers trailed down her cheek and traced her collar bone. Wonderment swam in his eyes and made fluttering tendrils expand in her belly. Just the way he touched her, so reverent, so caring, it made her want to kiss him. And not just a kiss that would lead to love making, but the kind they had shared earlier. The ones that were unrushed and didn’t have to lead anywhere.
Seeming to read her thoughts, he lifted her chin with his finger and tasted her lips with slow sips. A rich, heady, salty taste clung to his mouth. Her. She was tasting herself on his lips and the thought sent a trill of satisfaction through her. She’d never felt more comfortable with a man.
“Tomorrow, I’m going to take you on a date,” he whispered against her mouth.
Another first. “What kind of date?”
“I’m going to take you to lunch at a diner in town.”
“With the humans?”
He kissed her forehead and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Yes, with the humans. They aren’t scary. You like Hannah, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes. Hannah is amazing, and Blaine was really nice for giving me a ride.”
“And if it gets overwhelming, I’ll be there.”
Well, why didn’t he just offer that little gem in the first place? She had never felt safer than she did with him. And going out for a meal in town would be fun—a little adventure away from everyone.
“Say yes. Go on a date with me.”
She reached up and stroked the short scruff on his face and searched his questioning eyes. “Okay. Yes.”
****
Anya had nothing to compare it to, but as far as dates went, this one had to rank near the top somewhere. She’d fretted over what to wear, but Chase had knitted his brows and told her to dress comfortably. He said he liked her in a T-shirt and jeans, and if he wasn’t complaining, what was the point of worrying over her desperately simple wardrobe? He had led her up a trail she hadn’t travelled before and strapped her into a black jeep with fat tires. It was one of those off-road vehicles with a soft top, no doors and big ol’ mud flaps covered in layers of grit. It looked terrifying and thrilling all at once.
Chase had strapped her in, promised as long as she was buckled she would not get sucked out the open door, advised her to hold onto the grab bar and hopped behind the wheel. A big grin took his face as he turned the radio dial and Eye of the Tiger blared through the speakers.
Anya was so excited, it was hard to speak or even swallow for fear of some high-pitched sound wrenching from her throat.
Chase was a car singer. She’d always been embarrassed by her voice, or shy with it was maybe a more appropriate word. But watching him belt out the lyrics while he waved to passersby on the dirt road out of Bear Valley, well, her reserve fell right away.
They were both off-key and sometimes she made up the words she didn’t remember, but by the time the song ended, she was laughing so hard, tears streamed the outer corners of her eyes.
And damn, it felt good to laugh like this again.
For a dominant, and frankly intimidating, bear shifter, Chase had several more sides to him that had her enraptured.
A long fence with dozens of no trespassing signs whizzed by, and she waved to a couple of guards who smiled at them as they passed. A few days ago, she wouldn’t dare a direct look at anyone here, much less a wave.
Chase beamed at her, his light brown eyes slanting with the grin. He looked so proud that his gaze caused a burning blush to heat her cheeks. There were a lot of things she’d do to earn smiles like that.
At the intersection to the main road where gravel met smooth pavement, he slid his hand ove
r her thigh and she marveled at how big it was. It covered the entire top of it, and warmth pooled low in her belly as his thumb stroked lazy circles against her skin.
“You ready to face the scary humans?” he teased.
“With you, I am.” It wasn’t flattery. She trusted him.
Entwining his fingers with hers, he brought her knuckles to his mouth and kissed them gently, then pressed the blinker and pulled onto the highway.
As soon as they found speed, her hair flew this way and that, whipping her face and she laughed at how obtuse she had been to leave the house without a hair band. Chase’s booming laugh filled the jeep as she tried to wrangle her tresses to the base of her neck to hold them. He slipped off his baseball cap and put it on her, backwards so the wind didn’t catch it.
It was a little loose but seemed to do the trick. “How do I look?” she asked, feeling silly.
His eyes twinkled but his voice rang with such a serious, honest note. “You look sexy as hell, woman.”
Oh, what that man did to her insides.
Kissing her hand once more, he pulled away from her and hooked his arm over the steering wheel and let the other catch the breeze by the driver’s side mirror. It didn’t feel like a slight, but him growing comfortable enough to slip into his favorite driving position. Relaxing, she leaned into the seat cushion and rested her sneakers on the dash.
This country was beautiful. Rugged and wild, dangerous to those who didn’t respect it. The mountain peaks stretched up in the background as they left Bear Valley behind, and she had this odd feeling of homesickness all the sudden. Just for a moment, then it was gone. She wanted to laugh at her silliness, but then Chase would ask her what she was thinking, like he always did, and she didn’t know how to explain something so confusing.
You could have this for always, horny inner bear whispered, waggling her eyebrows. Oh, now she was giving life advice? Anya wasn’t about to allow herself such impossible hopes from the creature that excelled only in diddle advocacy, and hid from everything else.
