by T. S. Joyce
Her lip trembled and she bit it hard to stop the weakness. Determined, she glared at herself in the mirror and clenched her hands against her thighs until she memorized her new reflection. It took a long time. Then she lifted her chin and dashed a drop of moisture away with the back of her hand, and swore she would find a way to make things right again.
Her suitcase sat against the wall near the shower, so she turned on the hot tap and peeled off her clothes. She couldn’t call a meeting with Riker looking like she’d just been in a coma for a week, so she took her time scrubbing herself clean, careful to keep the water away from her injury.
Cleanliness did wonders for how she felt and she dressed in dark jeans and a plum colored blouse, the nicest shirt she’d brought. She brushed her hair and dried it, and even took the time to curl it. For the first time since she’d come to Bear Valley, she pulled out the small make-up purse she’d brought and gave herself smoky eyes and thick, dark lashes, and petal pink gloss on her lips.
Ignoring the tug of injured skin, she left the bathroom with her luggage clacking against the tile floor behind her. “I’m hungry. And I’m ready to go see Riker now,” she told Joanna and Brody. Chase was still gone and a piece of her broke that he hated her. She should’ve told him what Nathan was making her do. “First, I need to talk to Chase. Do you know where he is?”
Brody handed her a keycard and muttered, “Probably in our room. Room 112.” He still couldn’t seem to force himself to look at her, and something about his discomfort made her angry.
“Look at it, Brody.”
He dragged his eyes to her cheek and stared impassively.
“Might as well get used to it. I don’t want to have every conversation with you staring at my feet.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, swallowing hard. “It just looks like it hurts so badly and I hate that this happened to you. I should’ve killed Nathan when I had the chance. I could’ve chased him down when we came to save Hannah, and now my mercy got you mauled.”
“But then I never would’ve been sent to Bear Valley, and I never would’ve known any different than where I was. I never would’ve met Chase. So thank you for not killing him then. And Joanna, I owe you my life for defending me the night this happened. How did you know to be there?”
“I knew Nathan wouldn’t give up one of his mates to Bear Valley. He’d kill you before he did that. I sat in the woods near Chase’s house every night last week, waiting for you to make your move. I knew you’d meet Nathan. I just didn’t know when or where.”
“Do you hate me?”
“No.” A slow smile stretched across Joanna’s face. “I heard what you said to him, and I watched you fight, Anya. I don’t hate you. I’m proud of you.”
Anya hugged her, hard. Clenching Joanna’s shirt in her hands, she searched the ceiling tiles and sent a silent thank you into the universe that she and Joanna’s trails had crossed again. She pulled away and left the room without looking back. She would cry if she did, and she wanted to approach Chase when she looked strong.
The hotel was a small, one story establishment with cracked walls and chipped paint on the doors. She debated knocking but decided against it and pressed the key into room 112.
Chase sat on the bed much like she’d seen him when he had been in pain back in his own room in Bear Valley. Face in his hands, his shoulders were hunched so deeply, she could make out each indentation of muscle through his thin shirt. When he turned, his eyes looked tortured and she fell to her knees, exposing her neck as much as her torn skin would allow.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know you hate me, and you have every right. I know I hurt you. I didn’t want to lie and I should’ve told you what I was being made to do, but I thought if I just handled it on my own, I could keep you.”
He knelt in front of her. “I thought I lost you.” His voice was ragged and tormented as he searched her face.
“You aren’t mad at me?”
He scrubbed his hands through his hair and pulled her into his lap, tucked her under his chin. “You were unconscious through my mad phase. That lasted until Joanna told me about all the ways Nathan manipulated you. She told me what you said to him and how you fought him when he tried to mark you.” His voice faltered. “You fought the mark for me, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Oh, hang being strong. The tears were coming in streams down her face now, burning her cuts, but she didn’t care. She was so damned relieved. “I thought I could fix everything, but now he’s left me scarred and I’ve failed.”
“No,” he said in a gruff voice, easing her back to look at her marred skin. “You didn’t fail. You’re so damned beautiful, I couldn’t stop watching you while you were asleep. We thought you’d die and I couldn’t leave. I was so bitter about what Nathan did to you. About how you’d always look in the mirror and remember him. But then you started healing and I was just so glad you were still with me that the scars didn’t bother me anymore. You got those fighting your past, Anya, you brave woman. You got them trying to keep him from marking you so you could make your own decision.” He ran a light fingertip along the edge of the lowest mark, trailing fire with his touch. “You got these because you are strong, Anya. You’re a survivor. You’re even more beautiful to me now.”
With a sob, she held his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. “You came for me.”
“Of course I came for you. You’re mine. I heard you scream…” His voice cracked and he swallowed hard, his throat moving with the motion. “I could see him hurting you and I couldn’t get to you in time. I saw you stand up on your hind legs to fight him, Anya. You were backed up against that fence and you didn’t roll over and accept it. I was so fucking proud of you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I’m so proud of you,” he repeated in a battered whisper.
“I have to fix this. I have to meet with Riker and tell him everything, from the beginning.”
“Later, when you feel up to it.”
“I feel up to it now. There’s no time if the Long Claws have declared war. You and Brody need to be there to lead the clan. Joanna and I have to fight for Bear Valley too. Every fighter matters.” She leaned in and pressed her lips against his, then eased back. “I want to go home.”
Chapter Twelve
Anya’s skin crawled under the scrutiny of so many pairs of eyes on her. From a u-shaped table, Riker and five council members had held onto every word as she explained how Nathan had pushed her into spying for the Long Claws.
She told them of his threats, both veiled and blatant, and described her fear in coming to Bear Valley. She told them of how Nathan manipulated her, and of how much time he had spent subduing her with fear and speeches of duty. Of how he’d used affection to stifle her. Of him manipulating his people into seeing Riker and his clan as evil, and she listed all the clans Nathan and the alpha before him battled and killed off, just to take their land. The Kodiaks and Blood Den had fallen just in the last two years.
The shifter who replaced Nathan as alpha would call the small Long Claw clans that had sectioned off to dwell in the stolen territories and increase their numbers. She gave them estimates of capable fighting members and told them of any strategies she’d seen them use in the arena while working the gardens. It wasn’t much, but Nathan hadn’t allowed her near the battles.
She was pleading for her life, and for Joanna’s. Riker was a good alpha and wouldn’t kill her for her betrayal. It would be a waste of shifter life, he’d said. But he was considering banishing her and Joanna forever for endangering the clan. They couldn’t go back to the Long Claws, and what chance would they have outside of the safety of their people?
The chair creaked under her as she shifted her weight again, and Joanna reached over and held her hand. Her injury ached. She should have taken a pain suppressant before the meeting started, but she’d felt well enough at the time and didn’t think about it. Now, her skin felt like charred ashes.
All six men dipped their gazes time and time a
gain to her new scars. Chase had been right. Thinking about it made it hurt so much worse. She understood why he was brushing his teeth in the dark now.
A rumbling growl came from Chase, and he shrugged off Brody’s hand on his shoulder. Standing, he paced two quick laps at the back of the room, then settled again behind the council.
Riker looked so disappointed. She closed her eyes and dropped her chin to her chest under his disapproval. She’d messed up so badly.
“My mate likes you very much, Anya, and Joanna is one of her most trusted friends. And I think Hannah will need you two in the coming months.”
Joanna’s head snapped up and her eyebrows lowered in silent question.
“But, you two have put me and our clan in a very precarious position.” His eyes looked snowy blue and hard. He was a very handsome man, but with one look, he could be terrifying too. “You’ve killed the Long Claw’s alpha and outside of our land, unbidden by me. What do you have to say for yourself before we make the final decision on your fate?”
Slowly, Anya stood. “I came here the first day frightened of you and scared of what I was being made to do, and you took me in. I made friends here, began to build a life here.” Her voice came out airy as her throat closed up. “I found a man I want as my mate here.” Her eyes drifted sadly to Chase and back to the council. “I never looked for any information to help Nathan because it’s not who I am. I focused on relationships here instead, and became hopeful that I could be a part of Bear Valley if I just told Nathan I wasn’t his anymore. I know it sounds stupid, but I really thought if I was strong enough to face the man who had subdued me, he would leave and I would be free to live my life here. He didn’t want me. I couldn’t give him a cub, so what good was I to him? It was a mistake to meet him alone, but I didn’t want anyone to find out what he’d tried to make me do. I thought I would lose everything. I should’ve come to Chase in the beginning, when I’d made the decision that I wouldn’t help Nathan. I should’ve come to you, Riker, and I messed everything up. I know you have no reason to trust me. I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness from any of you, but I want it more than anything. I want to fight for my life here. I want to become a Bear Valley shifter.”
Riker looked down at a pile of notes he’d been scratching away at with a number two pencil and stacked them neatly before standing. “We’re here today to decide on a proper punishment for Anya and Joanna.” He turned his head and addressed the council beside him. “The Long Claws were going to declare war either way, Nathan’s death just pushed them into pulling the trigger. Nathan’s bad decisions got him killed and Joanna and Anya didn’t go hunting him. They defended themselves against an abusive tyrant, and shouldn’t be faulted for that. I believe they will both be great assets to Bear Valley, both in the war and after. I have sympathy for a woman who has been so obviously manipulated by a man of power, and I’ve heard no false notes in her confession today. We’ve all heard about her struggle to escape Nathan and flee back to the sanctuary of Bear Valley and every witness account matches up. I believe her time with the Long Claws is through, and my vote is to keep both women as members of this clan. It’s not just up to me to make this decision though. Betrayal is a great and punishable offense and now you must decide with a vote if they stay, or if they are banished.”
He handed the councilman beside him, an older gentleman with a cane propped against the table, a piece of paper.
The scritch-scratching of pencil lead across the thick linen paper unfurled butterfly wings in her stomach and sent her nerves skittering into the atmosphere. Chase sat stoic against the back wall beside Brody, and the only movement from him was the fast and rhythmic shaking of his right leg.
If this didn’t go well, would he follow her? The kindest thing she could do would be to cut him loose and let him go back to his clan. He’d get over her and find a woman he could have a good life with. She loved him enough to make that sacrifice, even though thinking about the pain right now dropped the bottom out of her stomach. Joanna squeezed her hand, and lowered her chin, eyes closed like she was praying. Brody watched his mate intently, like at any moment, he’d rush her and take her in his arms to offer her comfort.
Riker collected the paper from the final councilman and added his own writing, then frowned at the sheet he held up in his hands.
Oh, no.
“Dillon, your writing is horrible.” He squinted, then set the paper on the table before him. “Effective immediately, Anya Bure and Joanna Penn will be official members of Bear Valley. Don’t make us regret our decision to let you stay.”
A small grin cracked her alpha’s face, and relief flooded through Anya like a tidal wave. Chase was already on her, and lifted her in a hug that forced the wind from her lungs. It hurt, bad, but comfort came second to touching him right now.
“Tell me you meant it,” he rumbled against her ear.
Her feet were suspended off the ground and she crossed her ankles and pulled back. “Meant what?”
His grip around her backside tightened. “That you want me as your mate.”
The noise in the room increased as the front door opened and Hannah led in a group of shifters in who’d been waiting on news. Hannah, Corin, Jenny, Blaine, and her entire class that she had been training with swarmed the small office and offered congratulations. Hannah was crying as she turned to hug Joanna, and Anya wondered what Riker had meant when he had said she would need them soon.
Whatever her new clan needed, she would offer it willingly. They had given her sanctuary and friendship. She’d met Chase here among them. Her confidence had blossomed and she learned how to fight for what she wanted. Her future stretched on and on with possibility now.
She’d found a home.
Chase’s eyes burned with hunger and emotion as she turned back to him and rested her elbows atop his strong shoulders. Clasping her hands together behind his neck, she leaned down and kissed him, long and sweet.
Her body was humming with happiness and purpose. He was strong enough to accept all of her—every messed up thing she had done and been through. He was confident enough to teach her how to fight and not feel threatened by the scars of another man.
She loved him. She loved him, and until the end of her days, she’d only want him. She sighed happily with the realization that despite the war that was barreling down on them, casting her future in shadows of uncertainty, she was right where she was meant to be. She couldn’t predict what tomorrow would bring to her new clan, but she was certain that she was meant for this moment in Chase’s arms, surrounded by her friends. If the war took her tomorrow, or if she lived to be a hundred, she would spend every breath adoring him.
A single tear slid down her cheek and she smiled against his lips. Easing back, she touched the side of his face and whispered, “Ask me and I’m yours.”
Other Books by T. S. Joyce
Bear Valley Shifters Series
The Witness and the Bear (Book 1)
Amazon
Devoted to the Bear (Book 2)
Available Now
Amazon
Return to the Bear (Book 3)
Available Now
Amazon
Redeem the Bear (Book 5)
Available Now
Amazon
Bear Shifter Romance Newsletter Sign Up
For exclusive sneak peeks and new releases, sign up for T. S. Joyce’s Bear Shifter Romance Newsletter HERE.
Sneak Peek
REDEEM THE BEAR
(Bear Valley Shifters, Book 5)
Read on for a sneak peek of the gripping final book in the Bear Valley Shifters saga.
Prologue
Two more sleeps until war.
One more day until Hannah Michaels could lose everything she had found. Friends who were more like family, a home…Riker.
She glanced out the kitchen window for the tenth time in the past hour, but her mate still wasn’t there. A surge of anger and panic took her as she cleaned the Glock Jimmy had given
her. Had it been only a few months since he and Jeremy had died? It seemed like a lifetime ago—like someone else’s lifetime. Time slipped by so differently now.
Bear Valley had brought her peace. From the way she had let her nerves get to her when she woke from a fitful sleep and got sick in the bathroom earlier, perhaps Bear Valley’s sanctuary had weakened her.
Riker should’ve been in bed by now, in her arms. They had to wake in five hours to leave for the Bridger Teton National Forest to meet the Long Claws for battle. That forest would be haunted with the injustice of so much lost life by the time they were finished with it. Would Riker fall this time?
“Stop it,” she gritted out, loading a full magazine into the weapon until the clack of metal on metal echoed through the kitchen. She couldn’t afford to think like that if she was going to get through this.
Riker was alpha of Bear Valley and one of the strongest bear shifters on earth. She had to trust his experience. He’d led more battles than any other shifter in existence. And after all she had been through, she couldn’t believe for a moment that Riker would be taken from her so soon. She just couldn’t.
“You should be in bed, love,” Riker rumbled in a deep voice behind her.
She smiled as his presence settled her. “I tried, but you weren’t around to tuck me in.” She turned in her chair and spread her knees wide. His cool blue gaze dipped between her legs, and she lifted the hem of her oversized sleep shirt. The lucky lacy panties she had chosen for the trip still sat in her drawer, and a smirk stretched his sensual lips. She breathed for that smile.
Phantoms swam in the blue of his eyes—worry for his people, the strain of impending battle, weariness from preparation. She had the power to make everything go away for a while. For both of them.
