Undercover Alice

by Shears, KT

  ‘And I told him it was a bad choice, but he didn’t listen. He doesn’t, you know? He gets an idea in his head and that’s it, he’s like a child.’

  She smiled fondly. There was definitely something going on, I thought.

  ‘How long have you worked together?’ I asked, trying to probe without being too obvious.

  ‘Oh a couple of years now. We worked together at my old firm, but when Matt said he was starting his own company, and asked if I wanted to join, I jumped at the chance.’

  I bet you did, I thought, perhaps a bit meanly. We entered her office, which was large and airy, and she headed over to a large cupboard in the corner and started rifling through it, talking all the while.

  ‘It’s been a huge amount of work, of course. I barely have time to eat or sleep!’

  Plenty of time to talk, though , I thought.

  ‘And as for poor Matt, he must be run ragged. I’m worried about him, you know. I keep telling him to take it easy, but he won’t listen. Ah, here we go.’

  She handed me a purple top and some gym leggings.

  ‘Thanks, this is very kind of you,’ I said, wondering what on earth Matt would say when he returned to find me looking like I was just off to a yoga class.

  ‘Oh not at all, it was my own fault,’ Sarah said, breezily. ‘What department did you say you worked in?’

  ‘Oh I’m Matt’s new personal assistant.’

  I felt the atmosphere change. It was as if a freezing cold breeze had swept through the room, and I almost felt the chill on my skin.

  ‘Ohhh, his new assistant, of course. And here’s me rabbiting on about him.’

  She laughed, but the warmth had gone out of her voice.

  ‘Anyway, there’s a toilet on your way back to your office you can change into, it’s just down the corridor and through the double doors on your left. It was nice to meet you, Alice.’

  And with that, she sat at her desk and commenced typing, clearly finished with the conversation. I took the hint.

  ‘Likewise,’ I said, and left the office. I headed to the toilet to change into my snazzy new outfit, and then back to my office. Matt wasn’t back yet, so I busied myself with reading my welcome pack and glaring at the computer, with its taunting ‘locked out’.

  The phone rang; someone called Dirk Ashcroft wanted to speak to Matt. I put on my best phone voice and took a message, then carried on reading my welcome information. After a while, I tried turning the computer on and off to log on again, but not to avail. I was sitting there, face screwed up in exasperation, when Matt entered the room.

  ‘Oh dear, looks like you’ve got off to a good start,’ he said, noting my expression. Then he took in my changed outfit and looked puzzled. ‘Um…’

  ‘I had an accident,’ I said, and then realised that made it sound like the kind of accident you have at nursery school, and flushed red. ‘I mean, someone walked into me in the canteen and coffee got spilled all over me.’

  Matt looked concerned. ‘Are you ok? Did you get burnt?’

  ‘No, it was lukewarm, but the woman who walked into me took quite a tumble.’

  Matt shook his head, annoyed.

  ‘Lukewarm? Not again, that’s three times in three weeks. I need to make a note to call them and kick up a fuss. Who walked into you? No, let me guess, our resident klutz, Sarah Elliot?’

  I nodded.

  ‘I’ve told her to watch where she’s going,’ he sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically for effect. ‘She’s always got her nose buried in her phone or tablet. I’m amazed she hasn’t fallen down the stairs here, yet.’

  He looked me over, appraisingly.

  ‘Well, I’m glad I don’t have to fill in one of those workplace accident forms. You’re not going to sue us, are you?’

  ‘I’ll think about shelving my lawsuit if you can help me log onto this thing.’ I gestured helplessly at the machine sitting on my desk. ‘It’s put me in lockdown.’

  He laughed and crossed round to stand beside me. I was conscious of his closeness to me, and I could smell his cologne. I took a deep breath, savouring the smell, and then stopped, horrified. What on earth was I doing? I’d only been here a few hours and I was sniffing the boss. And he wasn’t even really my boss. He was the subject of the story that was going to win me scoop of the year.

  Luckily, Matt was absorbed in fiddling about with the machine and seemed oblivious to my inner turmoil.

  ‘There’ he said, triumphantly, and I gave myself a shake and forced myself to look at the screen.

  ‘Oh, well done!’ I said, seeing the familiar Windows layout on-screen. ‘Now I can see why you own an IT firm.’

  I wiggled the mouse and clicked on my Start menu, relieved to see the programs there were familiar ones to me. I’d bluffed a little bit on my application form about my familiarity with certain software, thinking that knowing how to type a letter in Microsoft Word was surely ample for this kind of role.

  Matt gave a little self-deprecating shrug. ‘It’s nothing,’ he said, ‘Our IT department gave you the wrong password so I had to log in as administrator and make you a new one, that’s all. Listen, I’ve got a meeting to pop to just now, but how about I take you for lunch in the canteen after and get you caught up with various things?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, ‘As long as you don’t mind being seen with me looking like this.’ I gestured at my purple top and tight-fitting leggings. I may have imagined it, but I thought his gaze lingered longer than necessary on my body. And I was surprised to find it gave me a slight glow of pleasure. It was harmless, I thought. Plus, he and Sarah Elliot seem to have something going on, anyway.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘I’m the boss, so no one’s going to pass comment. At least, not to my face.’ He gave me a little wave and then disappeared out of the office, striding down the corridor.

  I sat gathering my thoughts for a minute, and then clicked onto my emails. There were only two in my inbox: an email welcoming me to the company, and one telling me how to access Matt’s schedule on my machine. Luckily, it was written in a way that even I could understand, and in a few minutes, I had his calendar up on my screen. I browsed through it. He was a busy man. I guessed he didn’t have a choice – from the sound of things he’d ploughed every last penny into this company and needed it to be a success.

  Chapter five

  I spent the next couple of hours familiarising myself with the system and reading the information in my welcome pack. There was a biography of Matt in there, which I read with interest. I already knew much of it from my research anyway, but there were a few interesting snippets which I jotted down in my notebook. I noticed almost immediately that there was a gap of around three years in his history; probably not particularly noticeable to anyone else, but given what I knew about what supposedly happened in those three years, it stuck out to me like a sore thumb. I pondered how this attractive, friendly, and seemingly popular man had found himself in prison. What was it Jen had said? Appearances aren’t everything? I would do well to remember that.

  Matt arrived back in the office about 1, looking tired. I didn’t probe, thinking it was probably wise to find a balance between helpful and interested, and just plain nosey, but I could tell his meeting had been fraught. After he quickly replied to a few emails, we left the office together and headed to the canteen to grab some lunch.

  ‘How are you finding your first day?’ he asked me as we walked.

  ‘Oh it’s going well, bar my near-death experience,’ I replied, gesturing at my zany outfit. ‘It improved once I was actually logged on to the computer. I’ve been looking at your calendar, you’re quite in-demand, it seems.’

  Matt grimaced slightly. ‘You could say that. I guess everyone wants a piece of me, in some way.’

  Sarah Elliot certainly does, I thought.

  We arrived in the canteen and I ordered the soup, while Matt picked up a pre-packaged sandwich. I joined him at a table in the corner. I had watched him thread
his way through the throng of his employees, greeting them all by name, laughing and joking. It seemed like his workers were genuinely fond of him. I thought of Barry, heaving his bulk through the paper’s sad little canteen, shoving people aside and swearing as he went. It was quite a contrast.

  ‘Is it much different to your last place?’ Matt said, as if reading my thoughts.

  I blew on a spoonful of soup to cool it down, and considered my answer.

  ‘Night and day,’ I said. ‘Everyone here seems, well, happy to be here.’

  With my free hand, I indicated around me the groups of people happily chatting to each other.

  ‘You all speak to each other, for starters.’

  Matt looked at me, puzzled. ‘Of course we speak to each other. We’re a team, we all want this to be a success.’

  I nodded. My soup was good, better than the vending machines at the paper, filled with junk food, some of it even out of date.

  ‘I’m just not used to it, that’s all. I haven’t heard anyone swear yet. Well, besides you in my interview.’

  ‘I’ve been trying to forget about that,’ Matt admitted, looking rueful. ‘Angus – he’s the human resources manager – said I’m not allowed to interview human beings again. I can’t say I’m too sorry about that.’

  ‘I didn’t think you were so bad,’ I said, and we smiled at each other.

  We ate in silence for a while, but it was a companionable silence, not the silence of two people awkward in each other’s company. I was glad; I have an overwhelming desire to fill uncomfortable silences, and I tend to babble nonsense just to avoid the awful sound of silence.

  ‘I’ll take you to meet some of the heads of department after lunch,’ Matt said, as he crumpled his sandwich packaging into a ball. ‘It’s important you get to know them, you’ll be dealing with them quite a lot on my behalf.’

  ‘That sounds good,’ I said, finishing my last mouthful of soup.

  ‘You’ve already met Sarah, of course, but I’ll give you a proper introduction. One with less coffee involved.’

  Great…she already hated me, I was sure, now I get to stand there and be the gooseberry while they make goo-goo eyes at each other.

  ‘That would be good,’ I lied.

  After we left the canteen, we embarked on a whistle-stop tour of the company. I met the fabled Angus, who apologised to me for Matt’s inappropriate interview behaviour. The two of them obviously had a great relationship – Matt punched him gently on the arm, and Angus pretended to stagger like he’d been hit with a plank of wood. I couldn’t help but laugh at the pair of them. They were like overgrown school boys.

  ‘You make sure you keep our boy in order,’ Angus said, waggling a finger at me, looking stern but eyes sparkling. ‘He needs organising; sometimes I’m not sure he knows what day it is. And he came to work wearing unmatching socks the other week.’

  I gasped in mock horror and Angus roared with laughter as Matt turned red.

  ‘I told you, Angus, I got dressed in the dark as I was up at 4am to travel to Birmingham for that bloody meeting with Stephen Melling.’

  Angus shrugged. ‘Whatever. You need managed. And Alice here looks more than up to the challenge. It was nice to meet you. Let me know if he gives you any problems.’

  I laughed and assured Angus he’d be the first to know, and then followed Matt from the room.

  ‘Sorry about him,’ Matt said. ‘We’re old friends and he likes to make fun of me a bit. Pretty sure I’m meant to be his boss, but it feels like the other way round.’

  ‘I like him,’ I said, scurrying to keep up with Matt’s purposeful strides. ‘Who’s next on our list?’

  ‘I thought we’d pop in to see Sarah, if she’s in.’

  She was, unfortunately. Her face lit up when she saw Matt enter the room, and then fell slightly when she saw me trailing behind him.

  ‘Oh, Matt!’ she gushed, ‘It’s so nice to see you. How was your meeting with Barton today?’ She looked at me, and I was sure she’d almost sneered.

  Hey, lady, these are your clothes I’m wearing, I wanted to say, but arranged my face into a pleasant smile, which probably made me look like a simpleton.

  ‘Oh the meeting was fine,’ Matt said, waving a hand airily. ‘I understand you and Alice have already met briefly. What have I told you about watching where you’re going?’ His face was stern for a few seconds, then he broke into a laugh, which Sarah joined in with. I shifted awkwardly in the background. I felt like a gooseberry. I wondered if they were actually seeing each other, or just in the process of feeling each other out. I felt irrationally irritated; Sarah didn’t seem particularly nice, to me, and I was sure Matt could do better. I doubted he was short of offers.

  ‘I know, I know,’ Sarah said breezily, shrugging. ‘I’m a total klutz. I was just reading a really interesting review of a new application that–’ She broke off suddenly. ‘Oh I’m sure this all gibberish to Alice.’

  I knew it wasn’t kindly meant, but I took the high ground.

  ‘I’m afraid so,’ I said. ‘I couldn’t even get logged onto my computer today, Matt had to sort it for me.’

  Matt shrugged. ‘Those clowns down at support had given her the wrong password. Easily fixed. Anyway, Alice, Sarah is head of applications support, and one of my most valued members of staff.’

  I’ll bet, I thought. The two of them made a stunning couple and they surely had plenty in common. I could imagine their pillow talk, discussing new software advances. Maybe they wrote love letters to each other in binary.

  Matt had clearly expected us to start chatting away like old friends, but we just stood awkwardly and eventually he said, ‘Well, Sarah, I’m sure you’ve lots to be getting on with and don’t need me standing here annoying you.’

  ‘Oh, you never annoy me, Matt,’ Sarah said. I was sure she’d fluttered her eyelashes at him and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Honestly, how obvious could you get?

  Matt smiled at her, said goodbye, and led me out into the corridor again.

  ‘So I think that’s everyone. You’ll get on great with Sarah, she’s such a nice person. I’ve got another meeting to go off to, can you find your way back to the office?’

  I told him I could and watched him as he strode off down the corridor. I doubted Sarah and I would become friends any time soon – she’d made up her mind on me. I wandered back to my office and busied myself with browsing Matt’s calendar and taking phone messages.

  Chapter six

  I called Barry when I got home, as had been planned, to brief him on the day’s events. I obviously made a bit too much of the pleasant working environment, and Matt’s popularity with his staff, as Barry grunted and said, ‘Sounds like the fucking Waltons.’

  He was impatient for information.

  ‘What did you find out? Did he beat up an ex-girlfriend? Oh that would be a cracking story.’

  I could picture him, sitting at his desk, rubbing his hands together in glee at the thought of such a development. He really wasn’t a very nice man, I thought.

  ‘I’m just trying to get to know people at the moment,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to come over too strong and get myself found out.’

  Barry sighed impatiently but seemed to accept that this was a reasonable tactic.

  ‘Just don’t forget why you’re there, sunshine. Don’t go falling in love with Fancypants Matt and his band of merry fucking thieves,’ and, with an unpleasant cackle, he hung up.

  I was always left with a horrible taste in my mouth after talking to Barry, and I quickly called Jen as she was usually the antidote.

  I ran down the events of the day, including my unfortunate run-in with the unhappy Sarah Elliot.

  ‘She sounds like a cow,’ Jen observed succinctly.

  ‘I don’t know whether she is or not yet,’ I said, trying to be reasonable. ‘Well, she doesn’t like me. But I think that’s only because I’m working so closely with Matt. She’s clearly in love with him. She might be a very ni
ce woman otherwise. She seemed nice until she found out I worked beside her soulmate.’

  ‘What does he think of her?’ Jen asked, and I pondered for a few seconds.

  ‘It’s hard to tell. He likes her, I’m sure of that. But I don’t know if it’s in a romantic sense. Probably, she’s gorgeous.’

  ‘So are you,’ Jen pointed out, ‘Looks aren’t everything, anyway.’

  I smiled at that; easy for Jen to say when she was absolutely stunning, almost effortlessly so.

  I started telling her about what a great environment it was.

  You’re gushing,’ Jen said.

  ‘What?’

  You’re gushing. You’ve been speaking about Matt for five minutes now.’

  Crap, she was right. I hastily changed the subject and we hung up a few minutes later. I really had been gushing.

  I spent the rest of the evening watching rubbish TV. I washed the clothes Sarah had lent me; the sooner I could get them back to her the better, then maybe I could avoid her as much as possible.

  I went to bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I had strange dreams, though. I was running through a corridor, trying to find the way out, but every turn I took, I ended up in a further labyrinth. There was a man ahead of me, but I couldn’t see his face. I was trying to reach him; maybe he could help me out of this place – but he wouldn’t stop, and I couldn’t catch up. I woke up sweating. What on earth had that been about?

  I did manage to get back to sleep, but I woke up out of sorts, and it got worse when I got into my car and the bloody thing refused to start. I turned the key repeatedly, willing it to jump into life. It gave a sad little wheezing sound and then silence. Great. I pulled out my phone and dialled Matt, thankful I had had the presence of mind to put his work number in my phone the previous day. He answered on the third ring.

  ‘Matt Westwall.’ He sounded very professional. I realised he wouldn’t know who was calling as he probably didn’t have my number in his phone.