by Shears, KT
‘It’s 8.30!’ I shrieked, and jumped out of bed. I’d forgotten I was naked and I grabbed the cover to hide my body – exposing Matt’s naked body at the same time. I thought, fleetingly, it was a shame we didn’t have time to…
There was another knock on the door, louder and more insistent this time.
‘Coming!’ I called. ‘Two secs.’
‘You need to get back to your room,’ I started collecting Matt’s clothes from where they lay strewn around the bed, throwing them at him.
‘How?’ he asked, catching a sock that I hurled at him.
‘The adjoining door,’ I hissed, pointing to the door in the wall.
‘Huh, I hadn’t even noticed that,’ he said. He climbed out of bed and stepped over towards it. ‘It’s locked,’ he said, rattling the handle.
‘Arghhh.’ I’d thrown on some clothes now, so all that was left was to hide Matt. ‘Look, go and stand in the bathroom while I get rid of Sarah.’ I shoved him inside and closed the door.
Sarah was just about to knock again when I opened the door; her fist was raised and she gave a sudden start when the door swung open.
She looked me over, critically. ‘You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Do you know where Matt is? He’s not in his room, and our first workshop begins in 15 minutes.’
‘Haven’t a clue,’ I said, breezily. I could be a good liar sometimes, when it was for self-preservation.
Sarah looked past me into the room and her body stiffened. Her face darkened and I turned with trepidation to see what she was looking at.
One of Matt’s shoes was lying on the floor. He must have forgotten to pick it up as I shoved him into the bathroom. I swallowed and turned back. This was not good. How did I explain away Matt’s shoe in my hotel room? Maybe I could say he had asked me to shine them for him. That was ridiculous, Matt wasn’t the type of person who would ask anyone to shine his shoes for him. Maybe my heel had broken on the way back to my room last night and he had lent me his shoe. Not even slight believable, Alice, I thought; it’s absolutely massive.
Sarah,’ I began, gently, not even sure what I was going to say but she cut me off with a raise of her hand, turning on her heel and walking off without a word.
I shut the door and trudged back inside, knowing that this little episode was well and truly the nail in the coffin of mine and Sarah’s relationship. What little relationship we had.
I knocked on the bathroom door. Matt emerged, dressed (apart from one shoe, of course).
‘She saw your shoe.’ I waved my hand at the bloody thing lying on the floor. That shoe was the bringer of doom and I was tempted to pick it up and try to flush it down the toilet.
‘Oh well, that’s embarrassing,’ Matt said, cheerfully, making his way over to collect it.
I rounded on him.
‘Can’t you see she’s in love with you?’ I burst out. ‘She hates me because she thinks I’m trying to steal her from you, and now, well now she’ll make my life a misery…’
Matt stepped back slightly at the force of my tirade.
‘Woah, woah,woah’ he said. ‘Calm down. She doesn’t hate you, does she?’
I sighed in exasperation. ‘Yes, of course she does. Why are men so blind sometimes?’
Matt shrugged helplessly. ‘I had no idea… you’re sure?’
‘Yuh huh!’ I said, nodding vehemently. How it wasn’t obvious to him I’ll never know, but he looked genuinely shocked and confused.
‘I’ll need to talk to her.’
I nodded. I’m not sure it would make any difference, but it couldn’t do any harm, surely, after this morning’s events.
‘Good morning, by the way,’ he said, and bent down to kiss me.
‘Good morning,’ I mumbled against his lips, and was disappointed when he pulled away.
‘Look I have to go to this workshop thing,’ he said, putting on the rogue shoe. ‘But meet me for lunch?’
‘Sure, at 1?’
He nodded and kissed me again, before leaving the room.
I sat down on the bed and sighed. Last night had been a good development. This morning? Not so much. Still, I felt like I was glowing with happiness.
I picked up my phone and scrolled through my e-mails. Oh god, Barry again. That brought me down to earth with a thud, and I felt ill at what Matt had revealed to me last night. I’d done exactly as Barry had wanted me to, I’d got the dirt. But there was no way in hell I was telling another living soul. Well, except Jen, but I told her everything so she didn’t count.
‘What the fucking fuck, Alice? Why haven’t you e-mailed me back for fuck’s sake. I know you’re back from Spain, Hairy Harry saw you buying your sad little meal-for-one at the supermarket the other day. Send me a fucking reply or I’ll come down to that fucking office and embarrass you in front of all your new friends.’
It was now or never. Today was obviously a day of great drama in my life, so why not seal the deal.
‘Sorry, Barry, I’ve been busy. Look I don’t think there’s a story here, can’t find any information and no one in Spain able to help.’
I sent it and turned my phone off. I didn’t want to read his reply.
***
I wandered about the marketing stalls for a couple of hours, declining politely any further offers of USB sticks. At one, I headed to the hotel restaurant as had been arranged. Matt was already there, sitting at a table, and he smiled up at me as I walked over. I’d missed him, even though I’d only seen him a few hours ago, and I bent down and gave him a chaste little kiss on the lips. I could tell he wanted more, but knew it wasn’t an appropriate venue for a repeat of last night’s scenario.
‘I’m glad you didn’t stand me up,’ he said, pouring me a glass of wine from the bottle on the table.
‘Would I?’ I asked, in mock horror. Like the thought had ever crossed my mind – I’d been counting down the minutes until I saw him again.
He shrugged. ‘I thought maybe I’d scared you off with my tell-all last night.’
I shook my head. I hadn’t been scared off in the slightest; it had only made me more attracted to him. I had known he was a strong man, but to go what he’s been through and have made such a success of life… I was a little bit in awe.
‘Not at all. I’m glad I didn’t put you off by being a shrieking banshee this morning.’
He laughed. ‘No, although it was quite a wake-up call. So,’ he drummed his fingers on the table. ‘I talked to Sarah.’
I stared at him. ‘What did you say?’ I couldn’t imagine how he’d even begun to the broach the conversation.
‘I just said I was sorry she’d had to find out that way, we hadn’t planned for it to happen, and I hoped she wouldn’t treat you unfairly because of it.’
Fat chance, I thought, but I smiled and took his hand across the table, grateful that he had tried and feeling that it meant something about us for him to have spoken to her.
‘Thank you, Matt,’ I said, really meaning it.
We moved on to lighter topics, and I had him in fits of laughter about a particularly awkward businessman I’d had to interview, who had ended up refusing to say any more to this ‘rude slip of a girl’. His foot rubbed gently against my ankle during the meal and I reciprocated. As we approached the end of the meal, a thought occurred to me.
‘What did Sarah say?’
‘Hmm?’ He looked at me, puzzled.
‘What did Sarah say when you said that stuff about…’ I wanted to say ‘us’, but I wasn’t sure there was an ‘us’ yet. ‘About last night,’ I finished.
‘Oh.’ He finished chewing a piece of pasta and looked slightly uncomfortable.
‘Well?’ I asked, impatiently.
‘She said some unpleasant things,’ he admitted.
‘About me?’ I wasn’t surprised. She’d said unpleasant things to my face before, so I couldn’t imagine what she would say behind my back.
‘Yes. And me. She was very angry, and I’m sur
e she didn’t mean them.’
I loved how Matt always tried to see the best in people and explain their faults away. He was a much better person than me, I would have hung her out to dry.
‘What kind of unpleasant things?’
‘Do we have to go into this?’ Matt, said his voice pleading.
I crossed my arms and looked at him sternly. I wanted to know.
‘She said I was a fool and unprofessional.’ He shrugged. ‘I suppose she has a point.’
I froze, my glass halfway to my mouth. Please, no, I begged, silently. Not this again.
He saw my expression and said hurriedly, ‘But I don’t regret it, not at all.’
I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed to stop panicking or I would drive myself crazy.
‘Good. What did she say about me?’
‘Oh she just ranted about how you’ve been trying to snare me for ages.’
‘Snare you?’ I said, disbelievingly. I thought fleetingly that I had in one way – snare him for this ridiculous exposé Barry had wanted. But I pushed that out of my mind; the thought was unpleasant.
He laughed. ‘I know, it was ridiculous. And she said she didn’t think I could trust you.’
I felt uncomfortable. Sarah was right. Although I knew the article was dead and buried, I had still deceived Matt horribly. And I was still deceiving him. He didn’t pick up on my silence, though, and kept talking.
‘Anyway I told her it wouldn’t have any impact on my working relationship with her, and I’d appreciate if she could make an effort to be pleasant to you. So hopefully that’s that.’
How very naïve, I thought. I didn’t think pleasant would describe Sarah’s general demeanour towards me from now on.
We finished our meal, and Matt went off to another lecture, kissing me properly on the lips before he left. I headed back to my hotel room; there was something I had to do.
Chapter twenty-one
‘Are you fucking kidding me, Alice?’ I could hold the phone at arm’s length and still comfortably hear Dave Barry’s voice. He was apoplectic and, strangely, that made him seem to swear less.
‘You’ve been there for a month, and now you tell me you have nothing and you want to shelve the story? I’m sorry, sunshine, it doesn’t work like that. I decide if something gets shelved. I want you to give me everything you’ve got.’
I took a deep breath.
‘No,’ I said.
There was a long silence.
‘What the fuck do you mean, “No”’ Barry asked, his voice dangerously quiet.
That was almost enough to make me cry ‘OK, OK’ and hand it all over, but I was determined to stick to my guns. I had something with Matt now, I was sure of it, and I wasn’t going to let this stupid story stand in the way. I’d get my award some other way and with some other paper, if I had to.
‘I mean no,’ I said, gripping the phone tightly. ‘It’s not right, Barry, to delve into someone’s life like this, tricking them. It’s unethical and I don’t care if it sells papers, that’s not the type of journalist I want to be.’
The phone went dead. I dreaded to think what Barry was saying about me, or rather shouting about me, in the office. I feel relieved, though. I still felt like I had deceived Matt horribly, but at least I had ended it and maybe I could move forward without feeling so guilty.
***
We all travelled back home that evening, and if the journey on the way there had been awkward, the one on the way back was even worse. Only Dave Bishop seemed oblivious to the tension in the air, as Matt, Sarah, and I sat trying not to make eye contact with each other. When we arrived at the train station, Sarah left without saying a word. After saying goodbye to Dave, whose brother had come to collect him (or, more likely, his tuxedo) Matt and I walked to the taxi rank.
‘Do you…’ he started, then stopped. ‘Do you want to come back to mine tonight?’
I looked up at him.
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Can we stop by my house quickly so I can pick up some things?’
I’d been in Matt’s house before, but it was a very different experience with him there than it had been when I was frantically searching for ties and cufflinks. I felt a bit awkward, perched on the edge of a chair, while he made us a cup of tea. The other night had been so intense and passionate, it seemed almost funny to be sitting there, talking politely, cup of tea in hand. He did make a good cup of tea, though, I noticed appreciatively.
He patted the sofa beside him, suddenly.
‘Come and sit here, Alice,’ he said, scooting along to make room.
I did as he asked, and, when I sat down, he put his arm round me, his fingers playing with my hair. This was more like it, I thought. It was good to be close to him again – it had been hard on the train, sitting so near yet unable to touch each other. I was even afraid of making eye contact, with Sarah glowering in the corner.
I kissed him then, and he responded warmly.
I took in his deep brown eyes, and hair falling slightly onto his forehead. He really was gorgeous, and I didn’t think he even realised it, which made him even more gorgeous.
He kissed me, more intensely this time, and I clambered on top of him, straddling him. I felt his body respond and it gave me a thrill to know I could have such an effect on I rubbed myself against him, and he pulled me tighter, grinding himself against me. I left a trail of kisses down his neck, and then slid my hands downwards. I loosened his belt, and he helped me pull his trousers off. His boxers came off too, and I immediately took him in my hand. He twitched, and moaned. I lowered my head and slowly, teasingly, began tracing circles with my tongue around his tip. He arched his back and dug his hands into my hair, gasping. I continued to tease him with my tongue, one of my hands reaching up to stroke his chest and his nipples.
His hands were roaming all over me, and he had slipped a hand inside my bra. His thumb brushed over my nipple, and I squirmed at the pleasure. Deciding I had teased long enough, I took him inside my mouth. He tasted divine, and I took a moment to savour him. His whole body had stiffened, and his breathing was irregular. I began moving my mouth up and down his shaft, my tongue flicking over the tip. He groaned and arched his hips, trying to push himself even deeper inside my mouth. I shifted angles slightly, to fit more of him in, and he gasped.
‘Fuck, Alice.’
I kept on sliding my mouth up and down him. His hands on my body were more urgent, he had slipped one inside my underwear and was rubbing my clit between thumb and forefinger. I moved against his hand.
Suddenly he took a sharp intake of breath, and I knew he was about to come. I could feel him throbbing inside my mouth, and I slowed slightly to draw it out. He thrust into my mouth with a cry, and he filled my mouth. He grabbed my hair and pulled me even closer, as the spasms kept coming. I swallowed him, revelling in the taste.
Immediately, he picked me up and flipped me over onto the sofa, so I was lying on my back. He tore off my trousers and underwear, which were soaked through, and bent down. One hand reached up to cup my breast, and his tongue circled lazily around my clit. It was almost too intense, and my hips bucked as his tongue darted across the smooth surface. With his other hand, he traced my entrance, sliding gently inside. I panted, squirming against his hand, trying to get him inside even deeper. His tongue quickened pace, swirling around my clit. I could feel the pressure building, and I arched my hips.
‘I’m going to come.’
He plunged a second finger in and I lost control. I came, hard, crying out loudly.
We lay there for a while, trying to catch our breath.
‘That was…’. Matt began.
‘Intense,’ I finished for him. My legs felt like jelly, and I didn’t think I’d be able to stand. Matt seemed in no hurry to get up either, so there we lay, legs and arms intertwined
Eventually, Matt pushed himself upright and I, with big great effort, did the same.
‘You look exhausted,’ he observed.
I was. It was only 9pm
but I felt wiped out. I wasn’t even hungry, which was unusual for me. I hadn’t eaten since lunchtime and usually I’d be ransacking the cupboards right about now.
‘I am,’ I admitted. ‘I don’t know why.’
‘Let’s get you to bed,’ he said, and held out a hand, pulling me off the sofa. He led me into his bedroom, and I clambered underneath the brightly coloured sheets. The bed smelled of him, and I took a long sniff of the pillow, wondering if would be weird if I asked to take it home with me and deciding sleepily that yes, it probably would be.
‘I’ve got some work to do,’ Matt said, kissing me on the forehead, ‘but shout if you need anything.’
I fell asleep almost instantly.
Chapter twenty-two
I woke up, my heart pounding, covered in sweat. I jumped out of the bed and dashed along the corridor, making it to the bathroom just in time. I knelt down, clutching the toilet, as my stomach heaved and roiled. My mouth and nose burned as I threw up. I heard footsteps in the hallway.
‘Alice? Are you ok?’
Oh God, it was Matt.
‘It’s fine, don’t come in,’ I pleaded, but to no avail. Matt came in, looking concerned.
‘Have you been sick?’ he asked, taking in my undignified position and sweaty face. I was sure I’d got some in my hair, too. This was way too early in any relationship to have sick in my hair.
‘I...’ I said, and another wave of nausea hit. I grabbed the toilet and threw up again. Matt was suddenly behind me, holding my hair out of the way.
‘Don’t look at me like this,’ I pleaded, but I didn’t have the energy to be any more forceful.
Matt made a ‘tsk’ sound, and rubbed my back.
‘Don’t be silly, you’re not well.’
Breathing heavily, I sat with my back propped against the toilet. I had got sick in my hair, I could smell it, I thought, miserably. And I was sure Matt could too. Real attractive, Alice. I was never sick, I thought bitterly. I hadn’t been sick – other than due to alcohol – for years and years. It was just typical it would happen at a boy’s house. THE boy’s house.
