“I’m sure you did,” said Piper coolly, and to Casey’s utter astonishment. The woman hadn’t come to Ward’s defense over so much as a thumb-wrestling match in almost ten years. Why would she choose this moment—when Casey was racked with guilt and on the verge of tears—to pile on? To take his side?
“What are you saying? You know I didn’t have any choice about keeping my past a secret.”
“I disagree.”
“Piper, not now,” Ella hissed.
“Yes, now.” She pushed off the bed and rounded on Ella, hair flying like a fiery cloud behind her. “You’ve shushed me for years. Insisted that if Casey wanted to talk about it all again, she’d have to be the one to bring it up. Well, guess what? She just did. So we’re going to talk about it.”
The fight with Ward had been horrible. But a little part of Casey’s heart had always been braced for it. This harshness from Piper, however, was a complete surprise. Like a sucker punch to her gut, and it left Casey gasping as if Piper’s fist had actually connected. “I didn’t know you wanted to. And I thought you knew that you guys can talk to me about anything. Always.”
“Not true. Not since the day you accidentally brought us into the loop. Besides, the point is that the four of us can talk about anything. We’re a unit. You, Ella, me and Ward. The way you excluded him? It was wrong. The way you made the two of us also lie to him, even if it was only a lie of omission? Even more wrong.”
Sometimes the best defense was a good offense. Casey stood. Spread her arms wide, palms up. “Why are you so upset? You barely tolerate Ward any more, on the best of days.”
“I love him.”
That loud, forthright assertion was news. Sure, Ward and Piper fell into the old foursome rhythms around Casey and Ella. But the two of them never so much as sat next to each other without a buffer in between. It seemed their friendship only existed when in the quartet. Casey quickly—because you never looked away from a growling animal—glanced at Ella. She got a classic WTF, half-open-mouthed squint in return.
“You mean, you used to love him,” Ella clarified. “And now you just love him the same way we do, as a friend.”
“I’m going to pull a Casey and insist we do not discuss this anymore after the next two minutes. Not at all. Ever.” Piper flattened her hand over one side of her cream halter top and sucked in a deep breath. “The answer to your question is no. I fight it every day. I hate it that my heart won’t listen to my brain. But I still love him way more than just friends.”
“We thought...after the way you two broke up...” Ella trailed off.
So Casey picked up the thread. Because this was like learning that unicorns really existed. Or Zane’s imaginary Nazi submarine. “Piper, you didn’t speak to him at all for two years, you were so upset.”
“Yes, he pissed me off. Gave my pride a black eye and then some. It’s easy to hold a grudge. I’ve fallen into the habit of being cranky with Ward because of the past, rather than dealing with him as the man he is now. But I’ve always loved him.” She thumped her fingers against her heart. “That’ll never change. Sometimes as a friend, sometimes as more. And I don’t like to lie to the people I love.”
This was all coming from out of left field. Piper had the stereotypical redhead’s temper. But she rarely aimed it at Casey. “But I never meant to tell even you and Ella.”
“That’s another issue. I understand why you wouldn’t risk telling pre-teens such a big secret. But once we were older? You were supposed to trust us, all of us, more than anyone. Or at least as much as those other town residents who also know your secret. The ones who helped Dawn bring you here and set up a false identity.”
“I don’t even know who they all are,” she burst out.
“But you do know us,” whispered Ella. Those soft words spun Casey around on her heel. “You know we’d never give you up, never betray your trust. Never put you or Dawn in jeopardy. Piper’s right. You should’ve told us. Not waited for it to slip out under the influence of some hinky party drug. Not cut Ward out. Not forced us to exclude him. You owe all of us an apology.”
To have the soft-hearted Ella gang up on her too? It was too much. Casey sank to the floor, locking her knees to her chest with her arms. Dropped her aching head onto her wrists. They wanted honesty? Well, she’d dump everything on them.
“Twelve days ago, when I met Zane, I got so frustrated. He wanted to send an email to my supervisor to thank me for rescuing him. I said no. Didn’t want to run the risk of some stupid local paper doing a story, and then it getting picked up by a bigger paper, and wham-bang missing cult victim is found splatters across every media platform. And I hated that I thought that way. I was tired of Dawn giving every stranger—in a tourist town, no less—a twice over before warming up to them. Tired of being on guard. Of looking over my shoulder. I was sick of hiding.”
“Of course you were. You are. We hate that you have to do that,” soothed Ella.
Casey lifted her face. She’d look them in the eyes to admit her screw-up. “I never should’ve kept seeing Zane after I found out his background.”
“We, ah, wondered about that. Assumed that you didn’t know he was a cult expert when we first talked you into going out with him.”
“I didn’t. He told me on our hike. The one you guys made me take.” Casey could handle being the six-layer cake of blame, but Ella and Piper were at least the icing on this particular one. “Then I threw common sense, and seventeen years of caution, to the wind. For a man. A dreamboat of a man whose kisses make me dizzy. Figured after all this time, what could be the harm? How astronomical were the chances that he’d ever even heard of the Sunshine Seekers, let alone care who I am?”
“The chances were astronomical. You were just lucky. You know, get in the car and drive to that big casino over in Niagara Falls lucky,” said Ella with a crooked attempt at a grin.
Piper sank to the floor next to Casey. “More like just got picked for the Hunger Games lucky.”
A bell should’ve dinged, Piper was so spot-on. Having the thing you’d spent more than half your life hiding suddenly exposed? That was the sort of luck that kicked you in the ass and then dropped you in a mud puddle.
“The point is, I did that for a man I barely knew. So you’re right. I was a selfish, short-sighted, thoughtless idiot. I should’ve told Ward the minute we got back from that trip where you two found out. We should’ve talked about it more. I should’ve realized you’d want to do that. Ask questions, I mean. About my dad, about what happened in those two years I was with the Sunshine Seekers.” She waited. Elbowed Piper. “Don’t you have any questions?”
“Yes. A big one. Why are you bothering to go on this date with Pierce when you’ve got Professor Pucker-Up on the hook?”
“For the umpteenth time, it isn’t a date. It’s just a friendly dinner with someone who likes the outdoors and camping and getting excited over spotting a white-tailed deer as much as I do.” So frustrating. Ella got to go to book club every month and share her love of super-depressing three-tissue literature. Why did they have to make such a big deal about her hanging out with Pierce and sharing a love of nature? “And really? That’s your only question? Nothing about the cult that didn’t let me shower for weeks at a time because we were in the desert and ‘it’d be an insult to the Sun to call forth Water’?”
“I’ve got questions galore. But I’ll save them until it’s the four of us in a room. We’ll sweet-talk Ward into grilling burgers. I’ll make sangria. And then we’ll talk this through like we should have before.”
It was a sensible plan. Casey mentally kicked herself. She should’ve thought of waiting to do the Q&A session with Ward. Old habits were hard to break. But she would. “It might not be for a while. Ward’s sort of not talking to me right now.”
“We can help with that. Smooth things over,” Ella offered.
> The caring of her friends—after the realization of what she’d put them through all this time—was a gift. “I’m sorry.”
A wink from Piper. “You’ll be a lot more sorry by the end of tonight. Sorry you didn’t stay home and dust your floor molding rather than spend a boring night with Pierce the Putz.”
And just like that, they were back on solid footing. Her friends were the best. They hated her nature-loving buddy, but they were the best. Casey gave Piper a hip to shoulder bump that almost tipped the other woman over to the hardwood floor. “Cut it out. You know we’ve got a standing monthly dinner, and I’ve already canceled once. He’s a nice man. He gave me lilies on my birthday.”
“You’re allergic to lilies.”
Whatever happened to the old it’s the thought that counts defense? “Okay, but Pierce didn’t know that. He doesn’t have to know every little thing about me, because we aren’t dating. We have a good time together.”
“Discussing the hottest trends in dentures?” Ella said dryly.
Casey stood and started pulling the rest of the clothes out of Piper’s bag. “Geez. He doesn’t always talk about teeth. We met on a camping trip, remember? He loves the outdoors just like I do.”
With a groan, Piper pushed herself off the floor. “Nobody but squirrels has the unfettered bordering on disgusting joy of nature that you do.”
“Still, we’ve been friends for a long time. His eyes don’t glaze over when I talk about the spring runoff affecting the waterfalls. And he’s got abs tighter than the bark on a new sapling.” They’d been friends first. They’d segued into a more intimate relationship during a blizzard that knocked out the electricity and snowed them in with nothing else to do. Now being with Pierce was like pulling on sweats. Comfortable and familiar...and yes, not at all exciting.
“Which won’t come into play tonight,” Ella reminded her.
“Look, we’re both happy with the status quo. Neither of us wants forever.”
“Of course you do.”
“Ella, you’re looking at the world through your bridal veil. Not everyone wants to get married. Companionship is fine. The sex is fine. I’ve got you guys for everything else. I don’t want to think about a forever man, because I’d be burdening him with my past. That’s unfair. Replay the argument the three of us just had—you’ll see what I mean. Pierce is handy. Easy.”
“But you’re not gonna be tonight. Easy, that is.”
“Well, no.” Casey groped across the bed for the highest-necked top she could see. “This should broadcast that no-sex signal, right?”
* * *
The only signal of Pierce’s that more obviously screamed he hoped for sex than him unzipping his pants? Taking her to dinner at the Crow’s Nest. A couple of years ago she’d cracked up when Pierce ordered the frickles—fried pickles—on the menu. Said they made her feel playful. That playfulness had continued throughout the meal...and carried them straight into bed. It was the first time they’d been together like that since amicably breaking off the sex benefits portion of their ongoing friendship six months earlier. It was the start of their whole if there’s nothing better to do, let’s do each other trend.
Casey remembered waking up that morning and wondering if she’d feel weird. They hadn’t officially gotten back together. Pierce had told her about a woman he was hoping to see at a big continuing ed dental seminar later that month. And she’d been eying a new guy in her hiking club.
Then he woke up. Smiled at her and bounded out of bed. “I’ve got a packed schedule of patients today. Gotta run. Thanks for last night, babe. My stress headache disappeared right about the same time I kissed you here.” He bent down, dropped a kiss on the slice of her belly exposed in the tumble of sheets. “You fixed me right up. If I don’t see you, I’ll text you in a few weeks about next month’s dinner.”
Pierce had slid into his clothes and out the door while she was still yawning and stretching. It wasn’t weird at all. Their unplanned, undiscussed hook-up had been easy. It didn’t create any expectations or complications. It was like giving in to a craving for loaded waffle fries every once in a while. Yummy, but not anything you wanted to repeat on a weekly basis.
She hadn’t told Ella and Piper what their pre-arranged go/no go sex indicator was, because there really wasn’t one. They’d catch up over dinner. At some point they’d both figure out if the other one was currently in a relationship or not. Even then, it didn’t always happen. Pierce might mention that he had an article to write. Casey would talk about how tired she was from helping Dawn unpack a shipment for Cosgroves. They’d both go home solo and perfectly content.
Other times Casey would leave her hand on the table. A few minutes later, Pierce would cover it with his. Or drop a kiss on the back of her neck after coming back from the bathroom. And then the only thing left to decide was whose bed would be their playground for the next couple of hours.
But tonight he’d launched an offensive without waiting for a sign. The choice of the romantic, lakeside restaurant, the frickles—they didn’t point toward an uncomplicated exit for Casey. It pointed to trouble. To them finally having the conversation they’d successfully skirted for months about their no-strings occasional flings. An emotional talk was the last thing she wanted tonight. Not to mention the last thing she expected from a dinner with Pierce.
Casey sighed.
“If you don’t want to go, it’s no big deal. You don’t have to make a production and sigh about it over there,” said Pierce. He shoved a hand through his tousled dark blond hair.
Crap. She’d completely tuned him out. He could be talking about going to the movies after dinner or going skydiving. Casey had no clue. Better to swallow her pride than to blindly agree and find herself at his mom’s poetry reading or something. “Go where?”
“Camping. John’s about to send out a poll to find which date works best for everyone. I’ll add you to the group email.” He whipped out his smart phone and made an entry. “That way you can be in on the discussion about pooling supplies and gear.”
That was Pierce. Orderly. Methodical. A list maker. A note taker. Casey barely stifled another sigh. She far preferred Zane’s haphazard exuberance. But it wasn’t fair to Pierce to make comparisons. They were here as friends. Catching up like always, whether his thoughts drifted to a date he’d had earlier in the week or if she couldn’t stop remembering how the scratch of Zane’s five o’clock shadow against her neck raced chills down her back and up her front.
A tap on the back of her hand jerked her gaze from the spectacular wash of pink sunset across the lake back to Pierce. Geez. She’d done it again. On the bright side, Pierce was used to her going all gaga over nature. Maybe he’d think she was focusing on the herons swooping so low their wings dipped in the water. Instead of, well, simply not paying attention to him.
“You look pretty tonight. That top makes me think that if I concentrate hard enough, I’ll be able to catch a flash of something too R-rated for dinner.”
Rats. That was the opposite of the reaction she’d been going for from him. Casey looked down at her cream lace top. She’d chosen it for the neckline so high that it didn’t even expose her collarbones. The double layer of lace and the nude chemise beneath it made her feel extra covered up, especially paired with peony pink jeans. “It’s lined, Pierce. Get your eyes and your mind out of the gutter.”
“Trust me—all men are wired that way. We can’t help but notice a beautiful woman in an alluring getup.”
He was probably right. Casey was just as bad. When Pierce had greeted her in the parking lot, she’d automatically catalogued the way his bright orange shorts showed off his tan legs. And how the yellow polo with the Geneva Country Club crest lay tight across his chest.
Of course, Casey had then done the awful, unthinkable, horribly slutty mental comparison of Pierce’s body to what she kne
w of Zane’s body. Followed by an immediate wash of guilt that built into a fiery burst of acid in her throat. Which was stupid. Because she and Pierce hadn’t slept together in more than...oh, three, maybe four months. The fact that Casey couldn’t pinpoint the last time showed how long it had been.
And as long as her lips were locking with Zane’s, Casey didn’t intend to do anything more than hug Pierce with the same level of enthusiasm she used to hug Ward...as well as Timothy the package delivery guy who brought her new hiking boots every six months.
So she swallowed down the guilt. Thinking about it again, Casey took a long sip of her beer. This was ridiculous. It was just dinner. Pierce might be acting oddly territorial, and verging on pushy, but it didn’t mean she had to do anything about it. They could go their separate ways tonight just like they had the last three months, before Zane even entered the picture.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight. Is something wrong?”
See? This was Pierce, her long-time friend, being, well, friendly. She summoned another smile as the waiter brought them a second round. “I had a fight with Ward. That kind of didn’t resolve.”
Pierce paused with his frosted glass halfway to his mouth. “I’m surprised. You guys are pretty tight.”
“Trust me, I was surprised, too.”
“What happened?”
There was a loaded question. How to answer? I’m secretly famous and the whole country’s been looking for me for seventeen years. Or better yet, I not only lied to my best friend, but I’ve been lying to him since the day we met. Still wanna jump me, Pierce? Instead, Casey shifted her wedge sandals along the wooden planking. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay. Tell me how the summer campers are doing. Did your silkworm pop on schedule to wow them?”
All for You Page 16
