by Jessie Cooke
“Okay, see you then.”
12
Skye
I stood in front of the mirror staring at myself. I had on the dress that Mick bought me. It was a pretty lavender color and it had spaghetti straps and an A-line skirt that flared out slightly over my hips. It stopped mid-thigh. I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with that. I haven’t worn anything that shows my legs in years. Now I was thankful for that razor I gave Mick a hard time about. I left my hair down, doing my best to straighten it with the blow-dryer and brush. The whole time I was getting ready, my stomach kept clinching and unclenching. I was afraid I was going to throw up. Mick wants me to go to this party with him tonight…but I don’t think I can do it. I feel like I’m having a panic attack just thinking about it. It feels like something is sitting on my chest. Having dinner with his mom and aunt was one thing…a party with his rich friends…entirely something else.
People would invariably ask me questions. They always want to know what you do and where you’re from…I should just go right now before he gets here to pick me up. I can’t do this. I’ve learned the hard way that some people never get their happy ending. I thought I’d accepted that…before Mick came along. I had my little fantasy. I lost my virginity to the hottest, sweetest, sexiest man alive. I could hold onto that for a while at least. A few years ago I might have taken this experience to heart and let it restore the hope I’d lost for the future and the faith I had in humankind…but I’ve learned the hard way that only sets you up for more failure. I have to leave that fantasy where it belongs, here in this motel room. I’d be willing to bet that Mick has fucked at least a hundred women he never saw again. I wasn’t going to delude myself into thinking I would be hard for him to get over. He has some kind of protective instinct that I satisfy…he’ll get over it, or he’ll find someone else to take care of. I have to go.
I started to take off the dress when there was a knock on the door. “Fuck!” I waited too long. Taking a shaky breath, I resolved to tell him that I wasn’t feeling well and send him on without me. Once he was gone…I would go home. One thing I was good at was disappearing into the city. I would have to avoid the usual spots and my usual people for a while. Mick was a good enough guy that he would probably look for me for a day…or two. After that he’d get back to his life and I could get back to my…existence.
I pulled open the door and I instantly hated life more than I ever had. He was wearing a light blue denim shirt that snapped up the front. It was open at the collar and I could see the hard muscles in the top of his chest underneath the woven, beaded necklace he wore. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, showing off his sexy tattoos and his faded denim jeans fit him just right in all the right places. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I had a flash of memory of taking it down and running my fingers through it…while his hot lips were all over my body. God, I hate my life.
He whistled. “Hello gorgeous.”
“Hi. You look pretty hot yourself big guy. Come in.”
He stepped inside and for a second I thought about throwing myself at him. If I just jumped on him, maybe he’d make love to me one more time before I had to go… “Man Skye…you are seriously the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re full of it,” I said, turning to grab my shoes. I felt his hand on my arm and suddenly he was spinning me around to face him, cupping my cheek in his big hand and pulling me towards him. He was like a big fucking magnet that I couldn’t resist. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and I responded. I reached up and dug my fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth tighter against mine. Our tongues tangled and clashed and our bodies molded together. The feel and the taste of him drove me crazy. I felt something wild inside of me unleashed when I touched him. My heart was racing and my whole body was on fire. I lost myself in it…for a while. When he broke the kiss to come up for air he said,
“I’m pretty much a piece of shit, but I’d never lie to you, Skye. You’re so beautiful, you take my breath away.”
I could barely get enough air into my collapsed lungs to speak. When I did I said, “Thank you…Mick…. I can’t go with you to the party.”
I got the face cup again. He liked to make sure I was looking at him when he talked to me. “Why not, baby?”
Oh God, stop calling me baby. It’s killing me…I think literally. “It’s just not my thing. I won’t fit in. I don’t look like those girls…My dress is nice, I love it…but I haven’t had a professional haircut, ever. I don’t have any make-up. Then there’s the fact that I don’t know how to have conversations with people. They’re going to ask me a bunch of questions that I can’t answer,” my chest hurt again, just talking about it. I can’t do this. I won’t be able to breathe.
“Baby, you trust me, right?”
Implicitly. “Yes.”
“Trust me when I say that without make-up and without a professional hair-cut you will still be the most beautiful girl in the room. I’d lay odds on you being the most beautiful girl in any room in Vegas tonight. As far as conversation…just stick by me. I’m going to be singing most of the night. You can sit on the stage with me, or behind it or beside it…just please go…please…” His eyes looked as pleading as his voice sounded. Just looking into his eyes made me feel something that had been buried inside of me for so long I’d forgotten it even existed. It negated all the times that people passed me on the street and failed to even notice me. It took away the sting that being invisible for five years had left in my soul. When he looked at me like that I could forget the past and believe that for me…there would be a future.
“Okay, I’ll go.” One more night…and then I have to go.
He smiled at me. I have no idea what he sees in me. He’s so beautiful. He could have any woman he wanted…any time. Was I just an anomaly to him maybe? If that was the case, he was a really good actor. When he looked at me, I felt like I was the only woman on earth. “Good…” he kissed my forehead. “Great…” he kissed my nose. “Fantastic…” he ran his lips across mine. I moaned. He smiled. “I love making you make those sexy little noises.”
“You make me…do a lot of things I’ve never done before.”
“Stick with me kid. I’ve got so much more to give…”
Mick had a cab waiting for us when we got downstairs. I felt really bad for holding him up in the room all that time. It had to cost him a fortune having the cab wait.
“Why a cab? Where’s the bike?”
“The old bike is growing on you, huh?”
“Yeah, kind of.” I love sitting snuggled into his back with my arms wrapped around his hard waist.
“I can’t ride the bike with my guitar and amp. Usually Bobby…one of the guys in my band hauls it around for me but he’s coming straight from his day job tonight.”
“You have a band?”
He laughed. “Sort of. We’re all individuals, but I’ve been jamming with these guys since I was a kid. When one of us gets a sweet gig that can be accomplished better as a full band rather than a vocalist/guitar player, we call each other”
We got into the back of the cab and Mick gave the driver the address. I recognized it as one of the nicer parts of town. My stomach clenched again. In an effort to forget my nerves, I continued asking him about his band. “How many guys are in it?”
“Four, counting me.”
“Any women?”
“Not really. Bobby’s old lady joins us occasionally and does some female vocals, but she only shows up when she’s in the mood.”
“Sounds like a woman,” I said, jokingly.
Mick laughed and said, “I’m not touching that one.” He reached over and took my hand. Wrapping his fingers through mine he said, “Are you feeling better?”
I forced what I hoped was a confident smile and said, “Yeah, a lot better.” That was a lie, but this seemed important to him. Since it would be the last night I’d ever get with him, I was going to do my best to make it a good one for him.
Jacob Wright’s home was
like nothing I had ever seen. Mick even raised his eyebrows when we stepped out of the cab out front. It sat nestled at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac and the huge stone home was surrounded by lush green grass and bushes with flowers planted along either side. I couldn’t help but wonder if he appreciated it. I wondered if he had any idea that some people slept on the sidewalks and park benches at night. It wasn’t that I thought it was his problem…or that he didn’t work for and deserve everything he had. Sometimes I just wondered if people knew how lucky they were.
Mick unloaded his amp and guitar and with a knot deep in the pit of my stomach, I helped him carry it towards the door. Before he rang the doorbell he looked at me and smiled. “You look like you’re going to bolt. You’re not going to rabbit on me, are you?”
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his neck. “I’ll try not to,” I told him with a smile.
He grinned and said, “That’s a start. Once you hear me sing you’ll be so mesmerized you won’t be able to move anyways.”
I laughed. “The ego is as big as the rest of you, isn’t it?”
“I’m afraid so.” He rang the bell and a few minutes later Jacob Wright opened the door. In the flesh he was even better looking than he is on the posters that adorn half the city. It was almost intimidating to be in his presence. Mick and Jacob did the guy hello thing and then Mick put his hand on the small of my back and said, “Jacob, this is Skye.” Jacob shifted his chocolate brown eyes onto me. His gaze was so intense that I felt like he was looking right through me. When he smiled, two deep dimples adorned either side of his face. “Hello Skye, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and I shook it. I felt like everything inside of me was shaking along with it.
“Nice to meet you too. Thank you for having me.”
He winked at me. Mick frowned. “I’m glad you could come. Come on in.” He led us through a giant gourmet kitchen, the likes of which I’d only ever seen in a magazine or on TV. Then we walked through a living room where the carpet was so thick and plush that my feet sunk down into it and out a set of glass doors. If I was impressed with the front yard, my breath was taken away by the back. There was a Jacuzzi on the large patio and a swimming pool with a waterfall in the center of a plush lawn that was bigger than most parks. A stage and dance floor had been set up in one corner of the yard and there were tables draped in white tablecloths set up around that. Colorful candles burnt in the center of the tables and one of them had a gigantic bouquet of red roses on top of it. I assumed they were for the birthday girl. A full bar with a bartender and a buffet with servers were set up as well. I had to concentrate on keeping my mouth from hanging open.
“This is beautiful,” I heard myself say. Jacob flashed his dimples again.
“Thanks. I hope Cassie likes it.”
“I can’t imagine anyone not liking it,” I said.
Mick frowned again. “Let’s go set up, Skye.”
“Are you in the band too?” Jacob asked me. I laughed. That was a crazy thought.
“No. I’m just here to assist Mick,” I said. Mick…who was now pulling me towards the stage. We got about five steps away and I said, “Where’s the fire?”
“In Jacob’s pants apparently.”
I stopped and looked at his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You didn’t notice the way he was looking at you…and the wink?”
“I have a feeling that’s just the way Jacob Wright talks to people.”
“Maybe, but I don’t like him talking to my…to you that way.”
I let it go. It wasn’t worth debating at the moment. There was nothing Jacob Wright wanted from me, I was sure of that. He was one of those guys who probably learned how to work his dimples and his pretty eyes at a young age. It was probably second nature by now. The other thing I might add if we were to debate it was…. there was no man on this earth that would ever measure up to Mick in my eyes. That was a fact…a sad one, since I had to leave soon.
Mick’s band showed up one at a time. There was a heavy-set bald guy with a lot of facial piercings named George. George was a bass guitar player. He seemed nice enough, but he was really sweaty and he almost smelled like Old Frank. Mick’s drummer was a guy named Case whose whole body from the neck down was tatted up. I knew this because he had on shorts and no shirt. I guess his butt might be blank, but the tat’s looked like they disappeared down that way. He had a purple Mohawk and a dangling earring in one ear. The back-up guitarist, Bobby, looked bland compared to the rest of them. He had an almost military precise haircut and his bare arms were muscular and nicely tanned, but didn’t hold a single tattoo. They were all friendly and Mick seemed happy around them. I got the feeling just from the energy he was putting out tonight that the music did a lot more for him than the fighting did.
I sat near the stage and watched as the guests began to arrive. They were all young and beautiful and with each new arrival, my confidence plummeted further down into the abyss. Jacob went out of his way to introduce me to several people. I thought it was nice, but every time Mick noticed him talking to me, he’d shoot daggers out of his eyes. His friend Brock came over to talk to him and I heard Mick congratulate him on his baby. Then another guy named Lance showed up and I heard several people congratulating him. It seemed there was a baby epidemic.
Finally, after it seemed probably a hundred people were there, the guest of honor arrived. Everyone yelled surprise and she looked genuinely surprised and happy. I couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was and how cute she and Jacob looked together. It was obvious at a glance that they were very much in love. After she thanked her friends and said hello to about a million people, Jacob brought her over and introduced her to me.
“Skye, this is Cassie, the birthday girl…and the love of my life.” He kissed her on the side of the face.
“Nice to meet you, Cassie. Happy Birthday.”
She reached out and took my hand and looked me in the eyes with her pretty blue ones and said, “Thank you, Skye. It’s really nice to meet you.” I saw her glance up at Mick. He was busy tuning his guitar. She looked back at me and I could see a question in her eyes. Instead of asking it she said, “I love your dress.” I’ve never had a female friend before. If I did, I think I’d like to have one like Cassie. There was something about her that was just so genuine. I really did feel welcome and I felt better about being here than I had before.
“Thank you,” I said. “Mick bought it for me.” She subtly raised an eyebrow and looked back up at him. It was obvious that she wasn’t too sure about him. I wasn’t offended by that. I knew he could be a bit…unconventional. It was what I liked most about him.
“He has excellent taste,” she said. “I’m going to say hello to some more of my guests but I hope we can talk later and get to know each other. Now that Jacob is training Mick, we’ll probably see a lot of each other.”
I knew different, but I smiled and said, “I’d like that, thank you.” I was still watching her spread her warmth when I suddenly heard a husky, soulful voice floating across the warm evening air. I turned and looked up on the stage and watched as Mick sang and began to strum his guitar. The other band members began playing their instruments as well, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Mick. I was mesmerized by him and I felt like his voice could just carry me away. I shivered as the memory of him inside of me snuck in and I watched with rapt attention as he commanded his stage.
“Sarah?” I was so into Mick and his sexy voice that it took me a few seconds to process the name. When I did, panic seized me by the throat. I cautiously turned to look at the face of the person who said it. “It is you. Sarah Winnemucca, right?” Oh fuck! Bishop Fields hadn’t changed a bit since the last time I saw him. The day I killed my uncle and ran.
13
Jagger
I stood on stage singing and strumming my guitar and I watched the only woman who really ever got me…besides my mother of course…walk out of my life. Now I’m standing in an alley behind Free
mont Street looking for her. I’ve been everywhere I can think of. Either no one on the street has seen her, or they’re just not talking if they have. I’m finding out a lot about street people lately. I’d always been under the impression that on the streets it was every man/woman for themselves. Not these streets. Skye and her friends are closer than any family I know. I’ve been out here for three days straight and nothing. Fuck!
My fucking phone won’t stop ringing either. I missed my session with Jacob yesterday. Screw them. If Cassie or Lizzie were missing, I highly doubt that they’d be worried about working out. I’m sure they think it’s different because Skye is a “street person.” I looked at the face of it. This time it was Lance. Shit!
“Yeah?”
“Jagger! Fuck man, you’re hard to get ahold of.”
“I’m busy. What’s up?”
“Jagger, I need you to come to Jacob’s house.”
“I’m busy!”
“Listen to me, okay? I know you’re looking for your girl. That’s what this is about. I need to talk to you. I can come to your place if you’d rather…”
“I’ll be right there.” I hung up wondering what the hell Lance knew about Skye. I made it to Jacob’s house ten minutes faster than I should have. The gang was all there…celebrating the baby, I guess. The guest of honor was wrapped in a pink blanket with a tiny little hat on its head. Cassie was holding it and when I looked over her shoulder at it she held it up and said,
“Would you like to hold her?”
I hoped my face didn’t reflect my distaste. People frown on that. Everybody has phobias right? Some people have spider, snake or rat phobias…my phobia’s come in tiny pink and blue packages and they call them babies.
“Um…no, thanks. It’s cute though.” Cassie gave me a disapproving look. I was used to getting them from her. I guess maybe I wasn’t supposed to call it an it.” I tried to make nice by saying, “What’s its name?”
