by Jessie Cooke
“Maybe we should just take a bottle and go back to my place,” Mickey said. The other convenient thing about Mick is that he lives in an apartment complex just up the street from the club. I looked him over one more time, feeling bad about how much I wished he was Nick. I grabbed a bottle of Schnapps and smiled. At least if I cried out “Nick!” instead of “Mick!” when I came, he probably wouldn’t notice.
10
Nick
Luckily, even in Vegas there aren’t a lot of cops out at four a.m., or at least they’re mostly down on The Strip. I broke every speed law and even rolled through a few stop signs on my way to the ER. I ran in through the sliding doors and up to the woman at the counter.
“I’m Nick Abelli. They just brought my grandfather in by ambulance.”
“Okay, sir, I’ll go back and check.” I waited, with my heart racing in my chest. All the text that his nurse, Patty, sent me said was, “Your grandpa had an accident, taken to the ER at General by ambulance. I’ll meet you there.”
“Nick?” I looked up and saw Patty coming in the sliding doors of the lobby. She looked like she’d been crying and when she got close enough, I could see there was something on her shirt that looked like blood.
“What happened?”
She had tears in her eyes as she said, “He wouldn’t stay in bed. He kept asking for your Granny. I tried giving him his sleeping pill, but he wouldn’t take it. He was getting kind of aggressive with me tonight. He’s never done that before. I thought a cup of tea might calm him down, so I left him sitting on the couch and I went to put the water on to boil. Nick, I promise I was gone less than five minutes…” I was trying to be patient with her. She’d taken care of Poppy for over a year now, and I knew that she did a good job. I also knew how he could be. I was about to smack her in the head to get her to go on, though, before she finally said, “The front door was locked…”
“He went out front?”
She nodded and tears streamed down her face as she said, “He was in the middle of the road when I got out there, walking down the center divider…”
“Oh, fuck!”
She nodded again. “He was near the curve, and I was pulling at him and screaming at him. I swear, Nick, I tried, but when he gets like that he’s so strong. I could see lights coming fast, and I’m so sorry…I had to jump out of the way…” She broke down and I tried to imagine having to stand there and watch an old man get run over in the street. I put my arms around her and the poor lady just crumpled. She was sobbing and saying she was sorry over and over. Everyone in the lobby must have had their own tragedies to deal with because they barely seemed to glance up. When she finally calmed down enough to talk again, she pulled back and said, “It was a small car and I have the make and model and color. I gave that to the police, but I didn’t get a license plate number. I’m sorry, my eyes aren’t so good at night any more….”
“They didn’t stop?”
“No.” She dissolved into a puddle of tears once again. I held her while she cried and shook. I wanted to ask how bad it was, but I wasn’t sure she could handle it. Eventually, after what seemed like hours to me, the receptionist came back.
“Mr. Abelli?”
I let go of Patty and turned around. “Yes? How is he?”
“His nurse will be out to talk to you in a moment.” Fuck! It’s times like this that I wish I smoked. A cigarette or a joint might calm my nerves. Patty sat down in one of the chairs and put her head in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking and I knew she was still crying. I felt bad for her. This wasn’t her fault. It’s mine. His doctor had been telling me for two years he needed to be in a nursing home, where they could watch him and keep him safe when I couldn’t be there…but Poppy begged me not to do that. I had traded his safety, and maybe his life, for not having him mad at me. I paced the lobby and thought of all the things I could have done to prevent this, until finally a young woman in blue scrubs stuck her head out the door and said my name.
“Yes, I’m Nick.”
“Hi, Nick, I’m Gretchen. I’m the lead R.N. here. Can you come back with me?”
Patty stood up and I asked the nurse, “Can she come, too?”
“Are you a relative?”
“No, she’s his home nurse.”
“Maybe you should wait here, ma’am. After I’m finished talking to Nick, he’ll let you know what’s going on.”
Patty nodded and dropped back into her chair. The nurse led me back to a small room. I was hoping she was taking me to see Poppy, but this was some kind of interview room. She sat down and gestured for me to have a seat. Reluctantly, I sat and she said, “Your grandfather’s physician will be here in just a few minutes, but I didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer. He’s got some extensive internal injuries that the physician can be more specific about, but he is going to need surgery, right away. He has a broken hip and knee, as well. He hasn’t regained consciousness yet, so we don’t know about the extent of his head injuries. There is some swelling in his brain…” After she said, “extensive internal injuries” I kind of phased out. Her voice was like that robotic one that Peanuts used for Charlie Brown’s teacher. I could hear it and I could hear what she was saying, but it was bouncing back and forth in my head, unable to find a place to settle. The doctor eventually came in and had me sign a bunch of releases. Poppy’s spleen would have to be removed, and they’d have to put some kind of drain in to get the fluid off his brain. His hip was going to need surgery, also, but for now they were just going to set that and keep him immobile. They would have to wait until his head was okay and he was healing from the splenectomy before they did that. He’d already had three pints of blood and they said he’d likely need more, if I wanted to get tested and donate…it was all kind of surreal. I went through the motions of what I had to sign and read.
“Can I see him?” I asked when they had finished.
“I’m afraid not yet, Nick. He is being prepped for surgery right now and we need to get him there as soon as possible. He’s bleeding internally and that can be really dangerous.” I nodded and the doctor stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. “We’re going to take good care of him, okay?” I nodded again
“Thank you,” I managed as he went out the door.
“You can stay in here as long as you need to,” the nurse said with a sympathetic look. I thanked her and, as soon as she closed the door, I fell apart. Poppy was lying in there suffering, all alone, and it was entirely my fault.
I sat there and stared at the wall for a long time after they left. Then I started thinking about him being all alone again and how scared he must have been when he realized that car was going to hit him. Then I got pissed about the car not stopping…who does that? Who runs down an old man in the street and can’t even be bothered to stop? Then I started telling myself that he shouldn’t have been in the street and it was my fault again…and that was when I broke down and cried. I hated him being in there alone. If he did wake up, he wouldn’t know where he was and he’d be so afraid.
It took me a good half hour to recover enough to go out and see Patty. She cried again and apologized and I assured her it wasn’t her fault. I didn’t tell her that it was mine, but that was cemented in my brain. I was even thinking about the locks I had put on that front door. Poppy wasn’t a small man, and there was nowhere on the door I could put one he couldn’t reach. I should have figured something else out, like an alarm. Any idiot would have been able to figure out that there should have been an alarm on the door. When Patty calmed down a little, I talked her into calling her husband to come and get her. I promised to keep her posted on his condition. Not long after she left, a detective showed up and took my “statement.” There wasn’t much I could tell him, since I hadn’t been there, but I did fill him in on Poppy’s dementia and his history, because I didn’t want anyone going hard on Patty and making her feel any worse than she already did. By the time the detective left, it was almost seven, so I called Jacob.
“Nick!
It’s way too early to hear your voice.”
“I’m sorry, Jake. My grandfather was in an accident. I’m not going to make it in this morning.”
“Oh, shit! Man, I’m sorry. Is he okay?”
“I don’t really know much yet. He’s in surgery.”
“Damn it! Do you need anything?”
“No, man, I just didn’t want you wondering where I was this morning. I know you have that guy in from Texas…”
“Don’t worry about us, Nick. Take care of your grandfather, but call if you need anything, okay?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Where is he?”
“At General.”
“Okay, don’t forget to call if you need anything.”
“I won’t. Thanks, Jake.” I hung up with him and thought about Margo. Very briefly, the memory of brushing our lips together crossed my mind and a tingle ran through my body. Then I felt guilty for having that thought while Poppy was in there so busted up. I tamped it down and just sent her a text that said, “Hey, Margo. I’m sorry, but I can’t make it in tonight. My grandfather was in an accident. He’s in the hospital. I’ll let you know as soon as I know when I’ll be back.” I bought a cup of coffee out of the nasty coffee machine in the lobby and I found a seat. I had been so full of adrenaline that I had forgotten, but as soon as I sat down I remembered just how tired I was. I drank the gross coffee and then got another before I finally fell asleep, upright in the chair in the lobby of the ER.
I thought I was dreaming when I heard Brock and Lance bickering. They do that all the time, and sometimes I want to separate them and put them in time-out chairs, like children. I opened my eyes and it took me a second to remember where I was. My back and neck were killing me from sleeping in the chair. I rubbed my neck and looked around the lobby. There were only a few people there and, sure enough, Brock and Lance were there. They were sitting a few chairs away from me and arguing about something on the television. It looked like a golf tournament or something. My eyes were burning so badly that I had trouble seeing it.
“Hey,” I said. They both turned and looked at me.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” Brock said with his classic grin.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Jacob couldn’t come, but we didn’t want you sitting here alone…”
I wondered if they came on their own or if Jake had made them come. I’d be willing to bet he didn’t give them a choice. It was nice, either way. “Thanks, guys. You don’t have to sit here, though, I’m sure you both have things to do.”
“I need a break,” Brock said. “My fight is Wednesday and I can’t stop thinking about it. This will be a good distraction.”
“You’re going to kick ass on Wednesday,” I told him. Sometimes our personalities are like oil and water, but as a fighter I have so much respect for Brock. I think if he had Jacob’s confidence, he’d hold on to his title until he was too old to defend it.
He grinned again. “Thanks. I’m tired of thinking about it, though.”
“I don’t have a fight coming up, and I don’t have a boyfriend,” Lance said with a tight smile. “So I’ve got nothing else going on. How is your grandfather?”
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was eight-thirty. “Wow, I’m not sure. I guess I’ve been asleep a couple of hours. They would have woken me up if anything happened in surgery, right?” I was up on my feet and Brock and Lance stood up, too.
“Yeah, they would,” Lance said. “They’ll keep you informed. Do you want some coffee or something to eat?”
“Nah, I’m good…”
“Mama Jacob said to make sure you eat,” Brock told me with a grin. I rolled my eyes. There was no way I could keep anything down right now, the mere thought of food made me feel sick. I pulled my phone out and looked at it. I had a text from Margo.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, Nick. Please call me if there is anything I can do.”
I felt that warmth that always filled my body when I thought about her or saw her. “Thank you, Margo.” I wanted to say something about that “almost kiss,” but a text message when I’m sitting in the hospital didn’t seem to be appropriate.
A few seconds later she texted me again, “What hospital is he in?”
“General.”
“Are you hungry? Can I bring you something?”
I sat there with my thumb poised above the phone. I looked over at Brock and Lance who were engrossed in the golf tournament on television again, and I sent back a message that said, “I’m actually starving…if you wouldn’t mind…”
Seconds later I got one back that said, “On my way.” It was the first time in hours I felt like smiling.
11
Margo
I found Nick with a couple of his fighter friends in the lobby of the ER. I recognized the giant one as Ian’s ex-boyfriend. The other one kept ogling me until Nick finally told them they could go. They were sweet, though, and made sure to tell him more than once to call them if he needed anything.
I brought him a breakfast sandwich and a coffee, but he didn’t seem very interested in the food. I could tell that he was getting a little anxious waiting for someone to come out and talk to him. “So, tell me about your grandpa,” I said, mostly in an effort to distract him, but also in an effort to distract myself. I felt guilty for the carnal thoughts I was having about him while he was so worried about his grandfather.
He smiled and said, “He’s really something. He was a boxer in his day. He’s this big, tough guy who looks like he’d be meaner than snot…and he was, in the ring. But, in real life, he’s the nicest man that you’d ever want to meet. My Granny was only five foot two and a hundred and twenty pounds, if that…but she ruled the roost. Poppa would have done anything for her. I really believe that the dementia started after she died because there was a part of him that needed to believe she was still here. It was so hard on him, losing her.”
“How long were they married?”
“They celebrated their fiftieth the year she died.” He smiled again. “Granny was a showgirl when Poppa met her, and he was an amateur boxer. They were in their thirties before my dad was born…” He trailed off there. I wondered where his parents were, but I didn’t want to ask. Instead, I reached over and took his hand. It was trembling. I held onto it tightly and we sat there quietly for a while. Finally, when the poor kid looked like he was about to pop a vein in his head, the doctor came out looking for him. Nick jumped to his feet and took me with him.
“Mr. Abelli, your grandfather came through the surgery really well. He’s a tough old guy.” Nick smiled proudly as the doctor went on. “We had to remove his spleen and he had a total hip replacement. He’s in recovery now, so we won’t know a lot until he wakes up, but his vital signs are stable and the MRI didn’t show any signs of head or neck injuries, so that’s all good.”
I felt Nick squeeze my hand. “When can I see him?”
“The nurse will come and get you when he’s awake, but it shouldn’t be long.”
For a second, I thought Nick was going to hug the doctor. But instead, he clamped down on my hand even harder and said, “Thank you!”
I’m not sure that he wasn’t crushing the bones in my hand, but I didn’t care. I was happy for him. After the doctor left I said, “That’s great news.” He wrapped me up in a bear hug and now it felt like he was crushing all of my bones. Once again, I didn’t care. When he let me go, he smiled shyly like he’d just realized what he’d done.
“Sorry about that,” he said.
I smiled. “Don’t be sorry. I’m glad things look like they’re going to turn out well.”
“Margo…” he hesitated like he was thinking about what he wanted to say. He’s so freaking cute. Finally, he said, “Thank you for being here. It means a lot.”
I put my hand on the side of his face, and my mind went back to that “almost” kiss just before he got the text about his Poppa. I shuddered. “You’re welcome. I
’m glad I could be here. Are you going to eat now? You’ll need your strength.”
He grinned. “You sound like Mother Jacob.”
Laughing, I asked, “Who?” as we sat down.
“Jacob Wright. He’s my trainer and he stays on me all the time about not eating right.”
“Oh, Ian’s brother?”
“Yeah. You do know now that I wasn’t trying to date Ian, right?”
I got that tickle in my belly again. I felt like a schoolgirl around this kid. “Yes, I’m sorry about that.”
He laughed. “Don’t be sorry. If I was gay, I would think Ian would be out of my league. It’s a compliment that you think I could get an Ian.”
“Nick, you do know that you could get an anybody you want, right?” I could tell that he really didn’t by the look in his eyes. That was so odd to me. He was seriously the hottest man I’d ever known personally. He should be surrounded by women. I could tell he was embarrassed by the question, but I wasn’t willing to let it go just yet. We had time, and I was so curious. “Nick?”
He looked at a spot on the wall and said, “I just don’t see myself like that.”
Pushing the envelope, I reached into my purse and pulled out my compact. I opened it and held it in front of him. He was looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “Nick, look in the mirror.” He did. His face was red, and I could tell I was embarrassing him. I felt bad about that, but this kid had to see how gorgeous he was…didn’t he? “Tell me what you see.”
He shrugged. “Just me…”
“And who are you?”
He shrugged again. “Just a guy who spends too much time with his nose in a book and not enough in the real world to know how to handle it.” He leaned forward and rubbed his hands over his face. The poor thing had to be so exhausted.
