Fictitious Love 2

by Charmanie Saquea

  “That’s your wild nephew, DeMoni, Jr,” she smiled.

  Now I was feeling even more like a piece of shit. I had basically told my sister that her womb was no good and she couldn’t have any babies. I reached my hand out in a writing motion to let her know I wanted to write. Moni found a little note pad and pen that was in the room. I wrote on the pad the words ‘I’m sorry’ before holding it up.

  Tahtiana read it before waving me off. “Girl, I’m not tripping off of none of that.”

  “Yea, Hani. We’re just glad that you’re alive and well. But don’t worry, that nigga is going to get his. No questions asked,” Moni told me.

  I nodded my head before writing Juanie’s name under the previous words I had written.

  “He’s good. He’s been staying with Omega while you were in here. I’m about to call his ass now and tell him to get up here,” Moni said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

  I laid my head back and thought about how I owed everyone a big apology. As soon as I was able to talk normal again, I was going to sit everyone down and do just that. It was my stupidity and naivety that got me in this position. If only I had listened to them, then none of this would have happened.

  ___

  An hour later, the whole family was piled in my room. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy to see everybody. I was happy that even though I was foolish as well as did and said some foolish things, they put that to the side and were here for me. Well, almost everybody, I thought.

  There was still no sign of Omega. Juanie said he dropped him off and told him to call him when he was ready. No lie, it hurt a little to hear that. I just knew I was going to see Omega in this room even if he sat there with a mean ass mug on his face, but I was obviously wrong again.

  Never mind the fact that I just woke up from a damn coma that I didn’t even know I was in and my son’s father didn’t want to see me. Ain’t that something? I mean, I know he’s probably mad and all, but he couldn’t just pop his head and to say what’s up then leave? Or show some type of sign that he cared. Even his own mama and daddy were here for me.

  According to Alpha, Tristan was still on the loose and he didn’t trust my dad so he had some people that worked for him standing guard at my hospital door. Even after I got out, they had strict orders to stick with me until they could get a location on him. Apparently, his coward ass had went into hiding.

  I looked up from paying a game on Juanie’s iPad with him when I noticed the room got eerily quiet. In walked the damn devil himself, my father; Kelvin James.

  “You have a lot of damn nerve coming here,” my mama said.

  “She’s my daughter, too. I have the right to be here just as much as you do. Shit, I more of a right than some of you,” he said while cutting his eyes at my stepfather.

  “Don’t start that shit today, dad. Nobody has time for it. Just check on your daughter and leave. She doesn’t need any stress right now but since you want to put on the caring father role, make it quick,” Tahtiana snapped.

  I just sat there in silence. Even if I could hold a conversation with his ass, I wouldn’t. I had nothing to say to him. He was the reason all this shit was going on in my life anyways; it was all a domino effect from his stupid ass decision to get Mega locked up.

  I wrote something on my notebook and held it up so he could read it.

  I’m fine. Just tired and ready to go to sleep. Everyone is about to leave so just see yourself out.

  I could tell that he didn’t like what he read but at this point, I really didn’t care. I had long ago washed my hands clean of him.

  7: Omega

  To say that I had been in a pissy mood lately would be an understatement. That bitch nigga Tristan seemed to have just disappeared off the face of the damn earth. I remembered Tahani stating that he went back and forth from Miami to LA a lot so I knew where I needed to go. No matter how pissed off I was at my son’s mother for being gullible as hell, Tristan must pay for putting his hands on her.

  Today was the day that Tahani was supposed to be being released from the hospital. While everyone else was happy and jumping for joy, I was nonchalant about the situation. As heartless as I may seem, I say that she brought that ass beating on herself. We tried to tell her ass that nigga wasn't shit but you couldn't tell her nothing.

  Hopefully, this incident helped her open her eyes. My feelings towards her haven't changed, though. I still don't want shit to do with her outside of the fact that we share a child together. If we're not discussing Juanie then we don't need to be holding a conversation at all.

  I'm not the type that's going to kiss her ass or forgive her just because something happened to her. If she wouldn't have overheard Tristan’s conversation, she would still be walking around with her head up his ass.

  “Call me when you're ready, little man,” I told Juanie as I pulled up to his grandparents’ house.

  “You're not coming in to see mom?” he asked.

  “Nah, I'm going to let you go ahead. I have some things I need to take care of.”

  I could see a look of disappointment flash in his eyes. He just nodded his head and climbed out of the car. I watched him as he walked up to the door and waited until he was in the house before I pulled off.

  I had tried my best to explain to Juanie why his mom and me weren’t together. One thing I would never do is lie to my son. He understood why we're not a couple but he has no understanding of why I refuse to see his mom. I’m not the type of nigga to dog out my son’s mother in front of him, that wasn’t me.

  Whatever problems I had with Tahani would be discussed between Tahani and me. No matter how many times my moms and pops couldn’t get along, she never spoke bad upon his name in front of us. She let it be known that he wasn’t welcomed in her home anymore, but that was as far as that went.

  Thinking of the devil, I thought as I saw my mom’s name on my caller ID.

  “What’s up, ma?” I answered.

  “DeJuan, I don’t know why you like testing me. How many times do I have to tell you that no matter how old you get, you are never too old for me to put my foot in your ass?” she fussed.

  I laughed at her crazy ass. “What you talking about, lady?”

  “You better bring your ass on back here and check on the mother of your son. I don’t care about that damn pride of yours, but you better get that ass back here. Play with me,” she said before hanging up.

  One thing I would never do is go against my mama’s word. No matter how old I am, whenever she told me to do something, you can bet your ass that I was going to do it. Everyone in the family knew not to cross my mama. She had no problems acting a fool and showing her ass.

  Rubbing my hand down my face, I hit a U-turn in the middle of the street and headed back towards the house. I pulled back up to the house at the same time as Moni. I could tell just by the look on his face he was about to say some slick shit.

  “Well, damn, if it ain’t the prodigal brother.” Moni smirked.

  “Go to hell,” I told him.

  “I’m happy your ass decided to come out of hiding and check on your baby mama.”

  “Yea, well, it wasn’t by choice,” I huffed.

  Moni stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me with squinted eyes. “What’s wrong with you, DeJuan? Like on some real shit?” he asked.

  I ran my hand down my face before stuffing them in my pockets. “Real shit, Moni, I really don’t have anything to say to Tahani. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t approve of what that nigga did to her and I plan on seeing him again, but it doesn’t change how I feel towards her. Before he beat her ass, I let her know that I had washed my hands clean of her and the only thing between us is my son.”

  “Come on now, Omega. I know you’re not tripping off that shit she said? We all know that wasn’t Tahani talking, that was her spitting shit that nigga was putting into her head. I know she didn’t mean any of it and I honestly think this incident opened her eyes,” my brother explained.


  “Nah, that wasn’t nothing but hate coming out of her mouth. She may not have meant what she said to you but I know she meant exactly what she said to me. But enough of the bullshit. Let’s just go in here so I can go,” I said before walking off.

  When we walked in the house, it was like my mama was waiting for us to get there. She was standing right there at the stairs.

  “I thought you would see things my way. Moni, you go check on the mother of your child while Omega checks on his,” she ordered.

  “Aye, I’m grown as hell. Who you ordering around?” I asked. I ran out of the way just as her hand went up to hit me. I know it was coming. “You almost had it, you gotta be quicker than that,” I laughed.

  “Boy, just go.”

  When I walked into the sitting room, Juanie was all up under his mom and I couldn’t help but to smile a little.

  “Look what the cat done drug in.” Tahti smiled as she hugged me.

  “What’s up, fat girl?” I smiled, hugging her back.

  I walked over to where Tahani and Juanie was sitting. The plastic surgeon had done good because you couldn’t even tell she’d had surgery on her face. Besides the redness in her eye, you couldn’t tell that anything was wrong with her.

  “You good?” I asked.

  She nodded her head. “Yea, I’m good. Thanks for coming.”

  “No biggie, I can’t stay, though. I got some things I need to take care of,” I told her as I turned to leave.

  “Omega, wait!” she called out. “Can I talk to you, please?”

  “Yea, sure.”

  She got up and walked me out to my car. I leaned up against the car and waited to hear what she had to say.

  “Omega, I don’t know what else to say to you besides I’m really sorry. I honestly do not regret helping you get out of prison and if I had to do it again, I would. I was so angry at the time because I really thought I was in love with Tristan and he was putting on a front. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and I know you along with everyone else tried to tell me that. They say a hard head makes a soft ass, and trust me, mines is very soft right now. I know you, so I know you’re not going to let me off the hook that easy but it’s okay because I deserve it. I just wanted to get that off my chest.”

  Before I could even respond, she kissed me on my cheek and went back into the house.

  8: Tristan

  “Jontae, get the hell up and take your medicine!”

  I groaned and threw the pillow over my head. I wasn’t in the mood to hear that bullshit, all I wanted to do was get some sleep. Just as I was about to doze back off, the pillow was snatched off my face and replaced with ice water.

  “What the hell!” I yelled as I jumped up.

  “I’m not playing with you, Jontae, take that damn medicine. You have been here almost four months and I’ve only seen you take your meds twice. Your bipolar ass is not going to be staying here with me and my son if you can’t even stay stable.”

  I looked up at my baby mama Kim like she was crazy. It was seven o’clock in the morning and her ass wanted to fuss about nothing.

  “First of all, he’s my son, too, and second, stop calling me Jontae,” I huffed.

  “That’s your damn name, ain’t it? And it only seems like JJ is your son when you’re in town. When you get to Miami, it’s like he doesn’t exist, so save that shit and take the medicine!” she yelled.

  “Kim, shut the fuck up! JJ knows I love him. This shit that you’re doing now is the reason why I don’t like coming around here. The only time a nigga feels crazy is when he comes around your loud mouth ass. Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes before I wire your fucking jaw shut!” I snapped.

  Her ass hurried and got the fuck away from me, too. She knew I hated to be called by my damn real name. Too many bad memories were associated with that name and she did that shit just to get under my skin.

  “Crazy ass,” I heard her mumble.

  “Fuck you just say?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” she asked as she tried to leave the room.

  I jumped up, grabbed her by her hair and threw her up against the wall.

  “Stop, Jontae! I didn’t mean it!”

  “Stop fucking calling me that!” I roared.

  “Okay, okay. Tristan, I didn’t mean it. Please just let me go,” she cried.

  Tired of looking at her pathetic face, I let her go and she hauled ass out of the room. She knew better than anyone else that I hated being called crazy. When I was nine years old, my mom and her boyfriend used to abuse me every day and used to think that shit was funny.

  One day, when my mom was out and that nigga was passed out on the couch, I went to the kitchen and got the biggest knife I could find and did that nigga dirty. I sat there on the floor and waited for her ass to get home to show her what would happen to her if she ever put her hands on me again.

  Instead of locking me up, they ran a whole bunch of psych evaluations on me and tried to call my ass bipolar, amongst some other things. I spent some time in a mental institution and that really drove my ass crazy.

  When I got out, I was sent to live with my dad down in Miami. That’s how I met my brother Curtis. My Dad, Curtis, and Tahani were the only people in this world who didn’t make me feel like I was crazy. They only saw me for who I really was. When I moved down to Miami, I no longer went by Jontae, I started going by Tristan.

  When I lost my brother Curtis, I felt like I had slowly lost a part of myself. Now, it had been months since I had seen or heard from Tahani and I didn’t even know if she was alive or not. Picking up my cell phone, I dialed *67 before dialing her number.

  “Hello?”

  A big smile came over my face when I realized she was alive and I didn’t actually kill her. I was in such a hurry to leave that I wasn’t sure if she was still breathing when she left.

  “Hello?” she said again.

  I hung up before I opened my big mouth and said something. Now that I knew she was alive, I needed to make my way back down to Florida and make things right between us.

  9: Tahtiana

  Sighing, I got out of my car and walked up on the porch. What the hell am I doing here? I thought to myself. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. I took my vibrating phone out of my pocket and hit ignore on DeMoni’s ass. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him today.

  Just as I was putting my phone back in my pocket, the door opened. Jazz zeroed in on my stomach and her eyes lingered there for a few before she looked me in my face.

  “You busy?” I asked.

  Not bothering to answer me, she just moved to the side so I could enter. Unlike the last time I was here, it felt weird walking into this house. The last time I was under this roof, I was under the impression that Jazz was a man. Just thinking about the situation caused me to chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?” Jazz asked.

  “Nothing,” I answered as I sat on the couch. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”

  “Lose the attitude, Tahtiana. You thirsty or something?”

  I shook my head. “But I am hungry as hell.”

  “I bet, but you know where the kitchen is.”

  Rolling my eyes, I just sat there waiting for Jazz to talk while I rubbed my stomach. Lately my son had been very active and it was a feeling I was still getting used to. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out her ID that I had forgotten to give to her.

  “Here, now talk.”

  “Look, Tahtiana, I apologize for deceiving you. In no way, shape, or form was I trying to turn you gay. Don’t get me wrong. I’m feeling you to the max, but I wasn’t trying to force it on you. I had plans of telling you but I just didn’t know how. I knew if I did tell you that I would lose you and I couldn’t have that. I value your friendship, even if you don’t want to be with me,” she said.

  “What happened to you? What made you want to be gay?” I asked.

  “Honestly, you’re the first female I’ve ever considered messing with but to answer your question, I was se
xually abused on a daily basis when I was younger and it made me have a hatred towards men.”

  The room got quiet as I felt for Jazz. I mean, I’d never actually been raped before but I always felt bad for anyone who had. I never understood why or how someone could just take someone’s innocence or force themselves on someone when there were people out here giving their stuff away freely.

  “I’ve never had to go through what you did so I can’t possibly know your pain. I am sooo sorry that happened to you and I feel for you, I really do. Even though I don’t agree with the fact that you deceived me, you’re still a good person. We can continue to be friends and nothing more. If you can’t handle that, let me know now,” I told her seriously.

  I knew I should have cut her off for good but at the end of the day, I still had a good heart. I believe in giving people second chances. Hell, I had given DeMoni’s ass a million second chances over the course of ten years and he still couldn’t seem to get it together.

  Jazz sat there rubbing her hands through her wild hair like she was thinking. You better think long and hard about this shit. After what seemed like forever, she finally spoke.

  “That’s cool,”

  I knew she would say that.

  ____

  It was ten forty-five when I finally made it home. After Jazz and I finished our talk, I took my greedy ass in her kitchen and cooked me something to eat. Then, after pigging out, somehow Jazz talked my six month pregnant ass into braiding her hair. So now my feet were swollen and all I wanted to do is lay down.

  “Ahhhh!” I screamed when I turned the light on.

  DeMoni was looking crazy as hell just sitting in the dark.

  “Where you been?” he asked.

  “Why the hell are you here? Sitting in the dark at that?” I asked, ignoring his question.

  He just continued to sit there like he was stuck on stupid so I just made my way to the stairs. I hadn’t spoken to DeMoni since the day he ran out of my house like a little boy because he couldn’t handle the truth. It seemed like as soon as I reached my room, I ran out of energy. After kicking my flip flops off, I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes while my son did backflips.