“You came after me.” She lifted her head, and her hair brushed against my neck.
“Did you really doubt I would?”
She said nothing.
“Kayla?” I looked at her face in the dim light.
“Yes?” She settled her head back down again.
“Please answer me. Did you really doubt it?”
“I didn’t know…”
“What you need to know is I will always follow you. I could never let you go, especially not to a place like this. If I truly believed you were happier and safer without me, I could make myself leave you, but even that wouldn’t be easy.”
“I wouldn’t be happier without you.” Her voice was strong and certain.
“I know I would be miserable without you.” I couldn’t even entertain the thought of losing Kayla without spiraling down to a bad place.
“You aren’t who I thought you were at first.”
“Who did you think I was?” I didn’t even know who I was anymore. So much had changed so quickly, and the wisps of memories I’d never realized I had were at the edge of my mind.
“Not this.” She touched the spot over my heart.
“You are so much more than I imagined.”
“Only because I’m rare.” There was a deep sadness buried in her voice.
“No.” I hated that she thought that; she didn’t understand it was her as a person that I loved. “That has nothing to do with it. It’s you. It’s your heart. You are right, your heart is rare, but it would have been rare even before everything changed.”
“Do you ever imagine what life would be like if we lived back then? If we lived before?”
“I never did.” My thoughts before had been centered on survival and staying as close to the top of society as I could.
“Did? As in past tense?”
“I have since knowing you. I’ve thought about what it would be like if we could actually live together without fear.”
“I didn’t let myself imagine it before, but now I can. I can picture having a life with you. Maybe one day we can all settle somewhere.”
“That would be nice.”
“There is so much I wish I could say, so much I wish we could discuss.”
“I know.” I kissed her head. “For now that will have to wait.”
“Okay.” She ran her hand up and down my chest.
My lips found hers, and I savored her sweetness. I cradled her head in my hand, pulling her on top of me. I needed her closer. I cared nothing for whether we were being recorded or watched. I needed to express feelings my words couldn’t possibly achieve.
“Mason.” She moaned my name against my lips.
Her nightgown rode up, exposing much of her body to me. I pulled the blanket up to cover her; I refused to let anyone else see an inch of her. No matter what the doctor said, someone could be watching. I slipped my hand under the thin nightgown, cupping her breast. She moaned lightly, until she started to push me away.
I released her. “What is it?”
“We can’t do this here. Not now.”
“I understand.” I did, but that didn’t make it easy to resist her. I’d been so afraid, terrified of losing her.
“Once we leave. Once we have a chance to start over.” She yawned softly.
I gently eased her nightgown down her body, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart and my impossible to hide arousal. “Go to sleep, my love. You are safe with me.” I rolled her to the side so she could sleep the way she preferred.
“I know I am.” She rested her head on my chest. “Thank you for that.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Yes I do.”
I dropped the argument as I heard her breathing even out. I pulled her tightly against me. Kayla was back in my arms, and it’s where she would spend every other night from now on.
Quinn
I held Bailey tightly. Making it twenty-four hours without her was torture, and I was still sobbing. Seeing her once a day wasn’t enough, but it put me at ease for a few moments and reminded me there was still a reason to hold on. As long as Bailey was living and breathing, I would never give up.
“Mama.” The word startled me. She hadn’t uttered a sound since the traders took us from our home. She’d fallen so silent on the ride to Central that I checked her breathing every few minutes.
“Bailey? Are you okay?” I brushed some of her light hair away from her face. It had been brown when she was born, but it was lightening. My mother said the same thing happened with Kayla and me, the opposite of how it usual was with babies, or so she said. My memories of my mother were starting to fade as the years wore on. I hated that. I hated knowing that someone so important might one day only be a faint whisper in the back of my mind, but with all my worry and panic it was hard to make room for thoughts of anything else.
“Mama.” Bailey wrapped her arms around my neck. She held on tighter than usual, and my initial relief at hearing her name disappeared as worry took over.
“Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” They were the same questions I asked her every time I saw her. She never answered. This time I wondered if I might get a response.
“Kayla.” Her little voice was so quiet, but it shot right through me.
My heart rate accelerated. I’d known my sister was near, but how did Bailey? “Kayla? You saw Kayla?” I’d uttered the name thousands of times in my life, but saying it now took on a new kind of potency.
“Kayla.” Bailey put her head down on my chest.
Bailey had never spoken much, mostly owed to the constant fear she lived in I’m sure. When people tell you to be quiet often enough, you start listening. I hoped one day she’d be able to sing and yell as loudly as she wanted. Right now all I could hope for was to hear a few more soft words. I waited for her to say more, until I couldn’t wait any longer. “Please tell me, sweetheart. What about Kayla?”
She said nothing.
“That’s okay.” I rubbed her back. “That’s fine.” I wanted to know, but pushing her wasn’t going to help. She was still so young, so tiny. Her mention of Kayla’s name had been more than enough. I’d known Kayla wouldn’t give up on us. She never gave up on anything. I never thought I could be that way, but I was now too. I’d reached the point of no return. I would do anything and everything to give Bailey half a chance at a life. Evidently that even included propositioning a doctor. I could hardly imagine what Kayla would think of me when she found out.
There was no question Dr. Morton had avoided me since I made the proposition. He’d barely looked at me when he dropped Bailey off. I didn’t argue. He let me see my daughter, and somehow she’d seen Kayla, or at least knew Kayla was around. I debated whether I should ask him point blank about my offer.
I knew the hour was almost up, and I held Bailey tighter. I refused to waste a moment of my time with her. It was what got me through the lonely days and nights. It’s what helped me forget about everything else. It was hard to believe she was here, alive. Her very existence was almost impossible, yet here she was, living and breathing in my arms. She was what I was most proud of, my one accomplishment, and I couldn’t lose her.
I was so focused on Bailey I didn’t hear the door open.
“It’s time, Quinn.” Dr. Morton’s voice cut through the otherwise quiet room.
I glanced toward the doorway where he waited. His chin was covered in a beard now, and the circles under his eyes were even heavier. “Thank you for bringing her, Dr. Morton.” I struggled to make eye contact. Everything was different now that I made my offer.
“You can call me Maverick.” He didn’t smile. His expression was tight. Nervous even.
I shook my head. “No I can’t.” No matter what I was propositioning, I would still call him by his official title. He was not my friend. He was my jailor. To do otherwise would make things harder and might lead to me trusting someone I shouldn’t.
“Why not?” He crossed his arms and walked to the end of my bed.
>
“Because it’s easier not to.” That was the simpler explanation. I lacked the energy to tell him the whole truth, that I was afraid if I let go of the formality at all I’d never be able to put it back, and my imagination would run wild. Life wasn’t the way it was told in my mother’s old books. There was no such thing as romantic love or happy endings. I refused to ever believe in them again, and if I was being honest I never really had. I had enjoyed getting lost in the illusion, but I always knew it was just that—fake.
“It’s easier to call you a number.” He kept his arms wrapped around him. “But I don’t.”
I held Bailey tighter. “We are in different positions. We have different things at stake.” I no longer cared what happened to me, but I had to stay alive to protect Bailey.
“I want to do the right thing here.” He let his hands drop to his sides. “I’m trying my best.”
“We both know what the right thing is.” At least I hoped he did. Maybe he had lost sight of what was right after so much time working where he did.
“It isn’t as simple as you want it to be.” He walked around the bed closer to us.
“It is as simple as you make it.” I was done beating around the bush. He may not have run Central, but he had a whole lot more power than I did.
“Quinn.” His voice was soft, too soft for the current conversation.
“Please don’t. I made you an offer earlier. Take it or leave it.” I couldn’t look at him. It was impossible to face up to my offer while holding Bailey in my arms. I was glad she was too young to understand.
“She’s here, and she’s safe.” His words fell through the air, as if he’d dropped them from some place high above.
It took me a moment to respond. “Kayla?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
What did the smile mean? I wished I were better at reading people, but it was a skill I hadn’t worried about much growing up. I had preferred to daydream and imagine a life so completely different from my own. “Can we see her?” I wasn’t willing to give up Bailey for the night yet.
He shook his head. “Not tonight, but soon.”
His words, although unsurprising, hit me like a ton of lead. That’s what happened when I let myself get my hopes up. I pushed away my disappointment. “She’s okay?” Safety could have multiple meanings. I adjusted Bailey in my arms so I could get a better look at the doctor. Bad at reading people or not, I needed to at least see his facial expression.
“Yes. She’s with Mason.” He glanced over his shoulder back at the closed door.
“Mason?” I repeated the unfamiliar name. How was it that Dr. Morton said the name so flippantly? As if it were someone I should have known.
“Oh.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I guess you wouldn’t know who he is.”
“Who is he?” The hairs stood up on the back of neck. How had Kayla become entangled with a man so quickly? What trouble had she gotten herself into?
“The man she is personally Corded too.”
“Personally Corded?” I didn’t even know what that meant, but it couldn’t be good. The fact that Kayla was in Central couldn’t be good either. Unless she had a plan. Kayla always had a plan, and maybe this Mason was just part of it. She had a way of convincing anyone to help her. It even worked on me sometimes.
“How? Ethan would never let her do anything like—” I stopped. Why was I giving away more information than I had too?
“Ethan?” Dr. Morton furrowed his brow.
“Forget I said anything.” I bit my lip. I needed to be more careful with my words. It wasn’t only my safety at risk.
“That is going to be difficult to do.” He leaned slightly toward me.
Bailey lifted her head, gazed around the room, and then settled back down.
“But not impossible.” I gently patted Bailey’s head. “You didn’t say impossible.”
“Who is Ethan, Quinn?” Dr. Morton rose and then knelt beside the bed. It was strange seeing him at my same height. I was used to him towering over me as I lay there.
“Who is this Mason? Why is she Corded to him?”
“I don’t know as much as you give me credit for.” He rested his hands on the railing of my bed.
I called him out on his claim. “Oh? You let this man in without knowing anything about him?”
“I didn’t have a choice. He came in after Kayla was admitted. I wasn’t the one to decide.”
“But if they were personally Corded…” I tried to understand. “What does that mean?”
“It means she is his only. She belongs to him specifically, not the club.”
“Belongs?” I shuddered at the use of the word, especially in reference to Kayla. There was no way she’d agree to belong to anyone. She was too independent. She didn’t even want to marry. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. I had been married and look how much protection that had brought me.
“Yes. The mark is very clear.”
Every new detail Dr. Morton shared worried me more. Nothing he was saying made much sense with what I knew of my sister.
“Yes. I am sure you will notice it when you reunite.”
When. He’d said when, not if. A small surge of hope filled me, and I allowed myself to change the subject back to the man. “He just showed up later?”
“Yes, and not alone. I have told you more. Now it’s your turn. Who is Ethan?”
He had told me more, and maybe if I kept up my side of the bargain I’d learn even more. “Just a boy we used to know.”
“A boy?” Dr. Morton stood up again. I read the motion as wanting to be more comfortable rather than wanting to pull away.
“A man, but we knew him best as a boy. We grew up together.” Our childhood days on the farm felt like a lifetime ago. I wouldn’t let myself daydream about the feel of the warm sun and the fun Kayla and I had as little girls. It only made reality more painful.
“Is he the one who betrayed you?”
“What? No.” I answered immediately and without thinking.
Maverick frowned. “You don’t know who did, do you?”
“I can’t imagine he would. He cared for Kayla… well.” I didn’t want to consider the possibility of Ethan’s involvement; he was one of the few people I thought I could trust. And he was who Kayla would have trusted. Why hadn’t she gone to him? Nothing was making sense.
“Well?” Dr. Morton tapped his foot.
“He left because he didn’t want to wait for her. My father said she was too young. He came to the city to join a club.” I would never forget the day he left. He’d been so excited, and I had been jealous he was going to see the city. He was going to do so much more with his life than I would ever get the chance to do.
“It was Kayla he, uh, cared for?” Dr. Morton furrowed his brow. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I think it was her stubbornness.” I smiled thinking about how much the two argued over the smallest things. “Why does it matter?”
“I have decisions to make, and I need to know what we’re up against.” He rested his chin in his hand.
“What kind of decisions?” I hoped he’d give me more than a vague answer. I was tired of them.
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you yet.” His eyes said more than his words, and I found myself nodding in agreement.
“I need to take her now.”
I kissed the top of Bailey’s head. “You’ll bring her tomorrow?” I hated having to rely on someone else to make sure I saw my daughter, but for the time being I had no other choice.
“Yes.” He took Bailey from my arms. “I will.” He headed toward the door. “Goodnight, Quinn.” He closed the door behind him, and I cried for my daughter. This time my tears had another side to them though. Hope.
Maverick
I tossed aside a note requesting a meeting and picked up the envelope from my desk. It was yellow and blank. There was nothing on the outside to suggest the magnitude of what existed on the inside, but I already knew the few pages insid
e would change everything. Life was full of those moments, when seemingly mundane events changed the course of so much else.
The envelope didn’t come from Tardale. It came from someone far above him, someone who’s orders had to be followed by everyone. I didn’t want to break the seal because then there would be no turning back. But to be truthful, I’d lost my ability to turn back long before the envelope was delivered. I’d lost it the moment I laid eyes on Quinn. I had merely tricked myself into believing I could maintain the status quo.
I took a deep breath and opened the envelope. The black print held news that was even worse than I thought. The words blurred together as I read it over and over. Everything else faded out, and my chest clenched. I was out of time. I had to act.
So much had happened in such a short period of time, and I could barely keep up. But this development was different. Everything had changed. The new directives made my decision easy. I couldn’t allow that little girl to face the future Central had planned for her. Nor the one they had planned for Quinn—and once Kayla’s blood results were re-run, her also. I’d been able to cover it once, but I wasn’t going to get that lucky again.
I needed to act, but I had to be smart about it. It was all about timing, and somehow getting everyone lined up at exactly the right time. I needed help, but I had to be careful where I looked for it. I no longer knew who I could trust. Not that I ever had. My childhood in the system had been about survival, and when I looked back so much of it was a blur. I didn’t want to let Mason’s words influence me, but could he be right? Could they have messed with my memory? If so, there had to be a reason, and I knew I’d probably be better off to never know what it was. But Quinn and Bailey might not be. That small voice inside my head was new, but not entirely unfamiliar.
I picked up the discarded memo and checked my watch. It was late, but that didn’t mean everyone was sleeping. I slid the directives into the top drawer of my desk and headed back out into the hall.
The floor was silent. All I could hear was the familiar running of machines, and a few beeps every so often. The curtains to each room were drawn, temporarily hiding the inhabitants, but as the curtains were on the outside, it was a false sense of privacy. Everything about Central was false, down to its mission. How I had been clouded by the truth for so long galled me, just like the strange tugging at the corner of my mind suggesting there were things about myself I didn’t even know.
The Corded Saga Page 23
