by Janeal Falor
Bethany glances at me as if she knows I'm trying to help ease her pain, but doesn't say a word.
“Certainly,” Cynthia says. “Cook makes the most wonderful treats.”
We start up the stairs. While I hover around Bethany in case she needs me, Cynthia prattles on.
“And Serena will have to show you the new wardrobe she's acquired. It's the most wonderful thing I've ever seen. Just look at the dress she's wearing now. Those laces in the front, see them? Those are the ones that tie so she doesn't have to have help getting in and out of it. Isn't that wonderful? Her seamstress, Katherine, is fantastic. I can't wait to see what she comes up with for Serena's ball gown.” She stops long enough to open the door. “I'm glad you're here to help. We've so many things to do.”
Something is weird with Cynthia as well. She's always chatty, but not to the point of excluding other's from the conversation completely. Doesn't she think anything about Bethany's pain?
“I'm glad, as well,” I say, forcing myself to be heard over Cynthia's next sentence. “In fact, I'd be rather lost without you.” We reach the top of the stairs and enter the house. The Chancellor is nowhere in sight. Blast him.
“I'm glad to be here,” Bethany says, her voice betraying her pain.
“Good.” I don't want to leave, but can't help if I stay. “Now I'm afraid I must attend to something for just a moment, then I'll be back and we'll get you settled properly.”
Bethany nods, her face pale.
Cynthia gives me a look, part curiosity and part upset. She says. “Don't worry, I'll see to her.”
“Thank you.” And I'm off. I'm being a bad hostess, but I can't worry over it. I stop the first servant I see. “Do you know where Master Zade went?”
“To his room. Just a few minutes ago.”
I hurry passed him to Chancellor Zade's section of the house. Once I reach his door, I pound on it. A moment passes. I knock again. I'll give every bit of freedom I've tried to gain if it means he'll help her. He opens the door, takes one look at my face, and opens the door wider. “Come in. Have a seat. I thought you would be longer with your sister. Is everything all right?”
Not bothering to move from the doorway, I fall to my knees. My dress pulls downward but instead of adjusting it, I clasp his hands. Touching him feels wrong, but I'm desperate. Plus, the anchor may help my shaking. He's so high above me. It would probably work better if I lowered my head, but I'm afraid he won't hear me. He's so tall.
“What are you doing? Get off the floor.”
“Chancellor Zade.”
“Just Zade, and please, please get off the floor.”
I don't move from my kneeling position but give in to his other demand “Zade, I know you have no reason to, but I beg of you to please help my sister. She hasn't said anything, but I know Father's punished her. She's limping. She's trying to hide it, but she's in pain. So much pain.”
And it's all my fault.
My eyes fill with tears, but I blink them away before they can make him angry at my weakness.
He kneels in front of me, our hands still clasped. “Serena, you don't have to beg. You only have to ask. I don't know if I can fix it, but I will try. Where is she?”
Relief fills me so violently, I collapse on the floor. “The parlor.”
He helps me stand and keeps an arm around me, steadying me, as we head to the parlor. It's not life threatening, but it feels urgent. My sister is hurting and I wasn't there to keep it from happening.
When we get to the tea room, Zade opens the door and ushers me inside. Cynthia's next to Bethany biting her lower lip. Bethany rests in a chair with her head relaxed against it, her eyes closed. I cross to her side and Zade follows. As we near, she opens her eyes and gives a polite smile. Though the pain isn't as obvious as before, her face is still masked. Sitting must help.
“It's nice to finally meet you, Bethany. Your sisters have talked a lot about you.”
“And you as well, Chancellor.”
“Your sisters care a great deal for you. In fact, Serena mentioned she noticed you had a bit of a limp. Could I take a look? I'll need to take your ungloved hand, if you'll allow. It's easier to detect and heal injuries that way. Nothing more.”
“I'm feeling better since I sat down. You needn't worry yourself over me.”
I give her shoulder a squeeze. “Would you please let him? It would make me feel better and I'll be right here with you.”
Her head hangs. For a moment the room is silent. Finally, she lifts it. “Father did say Chancellor Zade was over me while here.”
“That's right. We can't have it any other way.” I keep my hand on her shoulder as Zade ambles over. After removing her glove, she holds her hand out to him. Slowly, he takes it in his own and concentrates on the floor.
Time passes. More than I expected. Cynthia's face is scrunched with worry.
Beneath my hand, Bethany relaxes. Deep blue sparks dance across her. It looks more like a hex than a healing spell. I want to scream, but the lines are easing from her face. It's the only time I've ever asked for one of my sister's to be spelled instead of taking the hex for them. Yet, whatever he's doing must be helping, not hurting. I force myself not to move.
After a few minutes, the sparks disappear and Zade releases her hand. She stirs and opens her eyes.
“You're going to be pretty tired,” he says. “Rest here a while and then let Cynthia show you to your room. I'll have cook send something to eat. We'll have dinner together when you're feeling better.”
“Thank you,” Bethany says and closes her eyes again.
Zade glances at Cynthia. “If you need help, let one of the servants know.”
“I will.”
After watching me a moment, he leaves the room. Bethany's breathing deepens. Cynthia and I move to the side of the room.
“I think she fell asleep,” I say.
Cynthia nods. “He's a good-hearted man.”
Watching Bethany sleep, I can't help but feel the same. There has to be something to his statement that he wouldn't hurt us. Not only has he stayed true to it before he even made the promise, but he's gone farther by healing her. Something sparks within me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I head for my room, but decide to search Zade out instead. Bethany was right to thank him and I should do the same. Is he back in his room or did he go to the study or gardens? The study is a place I'd prefer to avoid. Since he was in his room when I sought him out before, I head that way. A few hallways later, I find him staring at a portrait on the wall.
I move next to him. The portrait is of a woman, a rare one because she isn't pregnant, sitting next to a table of flowers, smiling. Her expression is so genuine, I can't help but wonder who she is.
“Chancellor Jacob's wife before she got sick,” he says.
“She's lovely.”
“Indeed. There's something I need to tell you.” He shifts, but continues staring at the picture. As I wait to hear, my trepidation increases. “Your sister's injury was a magical one. A potent, magical one. It's contained now.”
I twirl a stray lock of hair, then brush it back. “Would you please tell me about it, Zade?”
He turns to me, his brows lifted. “Are you sure you want to hear about it?”
No. “Yes.”
For a moment, his gaze pierces mine, like he knows I don't want to hear this, but I need to. “Very well. From the injury described, I was expecting to find a sprain or pulled muscle, something like that. There was nothing. Physically, your sister's fine. She hasn't had an injury in six months.”
She hasn't been beaten since I lived at Father's. The news should comfort me, but it doesn't.
“After I kept searching,” he continues, “I noticed an unusual type of magic all the way through her, with a high concentration around her leg.” He pauses to gauge my reaction. Despite my feelings, I keep my features schooled. “I studied the negative energy there and realized the magic surrounding all of her was a type of pain sp
ell. She's been in constant, severe pain since the spell was cast.”
My stomach churns. I lean against the wall, wishing there was a place to sit down. “How long has she been suffering?”
“Don't know for sure, but it's been some time. There has been a little variance on the amount of pain.”
The sick feeling completely engulfs me. “I wish I'd never left the house.”
The hall is silent. I can't believe I said that out loud, no matter how true it is. Father's wrath was directed at me more often than not. And when it wasn't, I could usually get it there. It's not surprising he picked someone new with me gone. What else did I expect to happen?
Zade moves closer to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “This isn't your fault.”
I clamp my jaw shut. He's wrong. All wrong. A few tears escape me. I clench my fist and hold my breath, but they keep coming. Soon, I'm crying in earnest.
He sweeps me into his arms and strides through the hall. What's he doing? I'm embarrassed, but the tears won't stop. I bury my head in my hands. With a twitch of his hand beneath my knees, a spell opens a door. He sits and pulls me close to him, rubbing my back.
My heart aches with tears. His actions only spur them on harder. Embarrassment fills me. Why can't I control myself? I've always been able to keep my tears under control. After a few painful minutes, they slow.
“I suspect you've needed to do that for far too long.” He tilts my face toward his. With a kerchief, he dabs at my tears. Something warm flickers in me. The warmth grows until heat burns my cheeks. I climb from his lap, as dignified as I can.
I clear my throat and sit on the couch opposite of him. The heat recedes, but not as quickly as I'd like. That can never happen again. Though I'm sure he won't forget my weakness, I act as though it never came. “Thank you for helping Bethany.”
“It was nothing. I wish it wasn't needed in the first place.”
“I'm grateful she's here now. We'll get her settled and hopefully things will be better.” I can't allow myself to think of what may be happening to my other sisters. It's out of my control.
I inch to the edge of the sofa, but he says, “Wait a moment, please. There's something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What is it?”
His hand clenches. “While I was healing her, I found out that she's been spelled to spy on us, though she's not aware of it. Everything she learns will be recorded through a spell that allows the caster to see and hear anytime he desires it.”
“Father.” I jump to my feet and pace the room. “I can't get away from him and now my sisters are caught between us more than ever.” Strange how everyone always speaks of the Envadi spying on us, but it's only other Chardonians who actually seem to do it. I stop and turn to face him. “Cynthia was talking about the ball and our rooms and our lack of chores. He'll know you've healed her.”
“Yes.”
“I don't think he would care much except I'm the one that begged you to. If he finds out it'll be seen as a weakness.” For a warlock, it is a weakness. But it feels like strength. I take a step closer to him. “Why did you do it?”
“A better question is, how could anyone not do it?”
His face doesn't hint of a smile or laugh hiding behind his sorrow. He's serious. It was the right thing to do in his mind. I slouch against the sofa. How can he be like this? It should be a test of how long I'll continue being willful. As soon as I believe he really means his kindness, he'll transform it into punishment, but he hasn't yet. He moves to levels of compassion I've never seen. I've never had someone test me this long before. Can he really be so kind to a woman?
“Do you think your Father will demand her return?”
I shake my head. “I don't know.”
“We'll hope it doesn't come to that. Do you have any idea why he's so intent on spying on us?”
“No idea. Why are you even asking me?”
“You've grown up here. You'd know things like that better than me.”
“Us women aren't told things like that. What do you think?”
His fist raps against the arm rest a few times. “Venturing a guess, just a guess, I'd say it's two fold. If he can discredit the barbaric Envadi that has snuck onto the council, it would gain him much favor. At council meetings, he makes his dislike for me very apparent.”
“That sounds like him. He never says much about his job, but I know he was hoping to be one of the next Chancellors.” It's strange to discuss warlock issues, but somehow natural at the same time. I want to learn more. “What's the second part of guess?”
“You. The law is a little different if I'm an unsuitable owner. If he can find and prove that I've broken the law before we marry and you become pregnant, you'd be returned to his ownership. He'd have the chance to arrange another marriage that would benefit him.”
There's another way out of the law besides me becoming tarnished? Looking at Zade now, I'm not sure if that would be to my determent or aid. I'm still uncertain about him, but more hopeful than I've ever been. I know I never want to be owned by Father again. “I didn't know I was so valuable to him.”
“Very much so. If I were to die or be discredited enough to be kicked off the council and exiled from the country, he would get some of my money and possessions. Unless he's also rendered incapable, then it would go to the next closest relative.”
Everyone else is dead. But it doesn't matter, Father isn't going anywhere.
He says. “Can you see why Councilman Stephen would be eager for something to happen to me? Not only would he have some of my money and possessions, but he'd be able to obtain even more power and money with another son-in-law.
“He's renewed the application for your entrance into the marriage pool, just in case something should happen to me. Many of those previously seeking your hand who haven't found a wife are aware and have been encouraged to keep an eye on me.”
The thought of being in the marriage pool again, having to put up with someone like Thomas instead of Zade sickens me, but with under-lying flames of anger. No wonder his life is being threatened. “Do you know our laws well enough not to break them?”
“I do.”
“No Chardonian would have healed Bethany. You aren't from here and you act like it.”
“Trust me, I'm very aware. But you might be surprised by some of your countrymen,” he says. “I know the laws. I can keep up well enough in public. I'll just have to be more careful at home than I was already.” After a moment's hesitation, he says, “Especially with you.”
Not me. I knew it sounded too good. I don't want to do this. Anything else but this. But he just healed Bethany. I have to. “Are you...did you want to leave a bruise now or later?”
Zade springs from the chair, his face contorted with anger. “I'm not going to hurt you. I won't go back on my word.”
“But the laws.”
“The laws say nothing about beating and hexing women. Nothing.”
Shock jolts through me. “It doesn't?”
“No.”
My whole life, I thought Father had to punish women. We are such an unwieldy gender, he needed to at least take one of us in hand. “How–how can it not say that? I thought—He always—” I try to gather my thoughts. “What does it say?”
“It says a lot, but little on women. Estate things like I mentioned. It says once married she must bear children, or her husband may tarnish her. The only other things are about your engagement and wedding ceremony which you already know or I can't reveal.”
“Nothing about punishments?”
“Not one, single, thing.” He paces the length of the room and mumbles, “This is exactly why I—” He shakes his head.
After a few minutes of watching him pace the floor and trying to wrap my mind around the new concept, I ask, “What did you mean then about being careful with me?”
The pacing stops. His cheeks pink. “I meant something more along the lines of getting caught kissing again.”
“That's a
law? Father never behaved as such.”
“Yes, but your Father isn't about to be married and already has children.”
My own cheeks heat. “So, it's like the same reason you wanted to kiss me in front of Phyllis.”
“Yes. The law that has to do with you bearing children. It's expected that I'm to be anxious for it.” He clears his throat.
“I suppose I understand what they mean.” I grip the arm rests feeling a little anxious myself, though exactly why I can't say. “Are you sure it's necessary?”
A mirthless laugh escapes him. “You offer to let me hurt you, but don't want to kiss me?”
The memory of his lips pressed against mine surfaces. The comfort there. And something else. Do I want to kiss him? The room grows hot. Not really wanting to talk about it, but sort of hoping we will, I shrug.
He snorts. “Forget I mentioned it.”
Air rushes past me as he storms from the room, not bothering to close the door behind him. I stare after him long after he's gone, my lips tingling.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I hurry to finish my breakfast so I don't have to be around Zade longer than necessary. Still, the meal drags on. The silence has grown uncomfortable between us. Prickly. Perhaps it only bothers me. He eats as if nothing's wrong, even taking his time over a cup of warm milk. Like there aren't people trying to kill him. It's unbearable. At least when Father grew silent at meals I knew what to expect.
I don't finish my chocolate before excusing myself. Once out of the dining hall, I stroll through the manor, then the gardens. The morning sun's warmth soothes my skin. I head for the fountain in the middle of the garden. It's becoming my favorite. Halfway there, Cynthia and Bethany come into view.
Bethany looks as good as I remember. Better actually. More relaxed, but there's more of a change than that. The last of her baby fat has thinned from her cheeks. Her dark green dress fitted until her waist where it fans out. She looks like a woman.
“How are you feeling this morning?” I ask. “Any lingering pain?”
