by Janeal Falor
My heart clenches. “Things happen for a reason though. I'm sure you and Waverly have enjoyed the time to yourselves.”
“We haven't,” Waverly says. “I keep trying to tell Zade we needed to visit sooner, but he said you needed time to adjust. Glad I finally talked him into coming. We need something to do.”
That's why it's been so long? They thought we needed time to adjust? And they probably wanted time to themselves. “I was planning on redoing this room.” Though I don't know why they would want to help instead of being together. “It's the only reason I'm in here. Making plans to tear it apart and start over. Make it more my own. Do you have any ideas from Envado?”
“You know I do,” Waverly says.
“I could help, too,” Zade says. “You have anything specific in mind?”
“Not really. I just want a change.”
“There's a lot that's changing.”
It's so hard not to stare at him. I look at Waverly instead. It hurts as well, but not as much.
“I really don't mind helping, but I was also hoping I could have my old job back,” she says.
“What?” Why would she want to go back to being my servant when she could marry Zade?
“I miss not helping. And not hanging out with you and your sisters. It's why I came here after all.”
“Didn't you come for Zade?”
“Sort of. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here, but I really wanted to work. If money's an issue, I'll get Zade to continue paying my wages.”
“No, it's not that.” Ironically I have plenty of money. Money that Thomas paid father for me. I look back and forth at them. “I thought, well...”
“What?” she says.
“I thought you two would be getting ready to marry.”
Waverly giggles. “Really? You thought—me and him?” She laughs harder.
Zade rubs the back of his neck, cheeks pinking.
Waverly edges farther out of her seat toward me. “Serena, he's my brother.”
I jump to my feet. “He's your what?”
“My brother. And ew. We love each other, but not like that.”
Shock roils through me, bouncing and jostling around until it finally bursts out by saying, “Why didn't you tell me?”
Zade says, “Because of my being a spy. It's dangerous for women here anyway, but if they found out she's my sister, it'd be even more dangerous. So please don't tell anyone. Not even your sisters.”
“Of course not. I'll keep it a secret.” And what does this secret mean for me? My mouth goes dry.
Waverly bounces to her feet. “If you don't mind, I think I'll show myself around.”
“I can take you.”
“No, no, it's all right.” She heads for the door just as Cynthia and Bethany come. “Oh, look. You don't even need to worry about me. Your sisters will show me around, right?”
“We can,” Cynthia says.
“I'd love to know how to make those crunchy little sweets that you suggested for the ball,” Bethany says.
“Where's the kitchen? If you have the stuff, I'll make you some.”
They leave, chatter fading as they go. Zade stands. I shift my weight from one foot to another. The silence makes me itchy to be moving. “I bought a horse.”
“You did? Is he here?”
“She, and yes.”
“I'd love to see her if you don't mind taking me.”
“Are you all right with a long walk?”
He sighs. “I've gotten used to it. It's hard, but I don't mind. I'd like to go with you.”
“Let's go then.” I lead him through the house, my pulse doing strange things. “Sally named her Goldie.”
“How are your sisters doing with the change?”
“Better. There's more laughter in the house now. I'm teaching them everything you taught me about shooting. Except mother, she thinks I'm crazy.”
“It must be a hard transition for her,” he says. “I'd be happy to help you teach them to shoot.”
“Thank you. Teaching them to protect themselves would be good. After talking it over with the older girls, I've decided to wait on giving them their freedom like you gave me.”
“Really?” We step into the barn. “Why's that?”
“I still don't know how things are with me. We've been staying here keeping the house running. A few women have visited me discreetly, very excited about the change. Katherine's orders are going through the roof.”
“That sounds good.”
“It is.” Plus, she's safe. Zade has been spelling her tattoos, so she appears to be like any other tarnished following the law. “If you don't mind my asking, what's happened with Phyllis?” I've forgiven most of their debt, but couldn't bring myself to forgive it all yet. I will someday soon.
He rubs his forehead. “I couldn't bring myself to kick her out. She'd be more likely to tell someone else what we're doing. I offered to let her stay if she'd let me spell her to remain silent. She was happy to take the offer. Though I prefer to keep her close, if she becomes more of a problem I can use some contacts to get her out of the country.”
“Spy things?”
“Lots of them. Does that bother you?”
“Will it keep the threats against you away?”
He gives a wry grin. “Not really. I have support of a few people, like my friend Chadwick. He's not really a servant, he's here helping along with others. But despite the help, with the way society is means there will always be threats to Envadi.”
“I suppose we'll have to work on changing society's ideals then. Why are you spying on us? I heard that you want to steal our ideas and spells, but you don't seem to care about that.”
“Envado is overrun with refugees from your country. I'm here to figure out how to help. Both for your people and mine. To make lives better. That's why I stayed instead of going back home after the tournament. There's more of us here helping than you'd think, but they need all the help they can get.”
The thought is a startling one, but I hope it's true. I hope there are others that want to help Chardonian women gain what I have. Then another thought hits me. “Does that mean being a spy is why you freed me?”
He laughs. “No, that came from you.”
“What did I do?”
“You remember the journal you gave me?”
“Yes.” I scowl at him. “You never returned it.”
“I'll bring it next time I come.”
My heart quickens at the thought of there being a next time. A next time with Waverly being his sister, not his love.
“In the journal, Julia wrote about her husband discovering the law.”
“I don't remember anything about that.”
He laughs. “You probably spent too much time on the gushy love parts.”
My cheeks heat. I return to walking toward the barn, keeping a slow pace for him. “Chancellor Jacob was an uncommonly kind man.”
“More than most people will ever know. He was trying to figure out the best way to use the law when she died. He was the Grand Chancellor's strongest opponent. I think after that he lost his will to do anything.”
We enter the barn and stop in front of my new horse. He leans against the stall and we stare at each other. A fluttering fills me. I clear my throat. “This is Goldie.”
“Serena.” His voice is low, tantalizing.
Why am I suddenly so nervous? “I haven't ridden her yet, but I'm hoping to. I got a saddle.”
“Serena.”
“I'll learn one of these days.”
He grabs my hand. I've never been so glad to be without my gloves. To feel another's skin on mine.
“Serena.”
“Yes.” My voice is whispery.
“May I kiss you?”
“What about your fiancee?”
His brows crease and then relaxes. “Technically that's you. I haven't known what the girl I was once engaged to is doing since before I beat Thomas. We were never really close. She was nice, but not the one I car
e about.”
He doesn't care about her? Hope starts pounding through me. “But you freed me.”
“We're still connected by the engagement ceremony.” He reaches up and brushes his thumb across my neck, right where my brand is. “I don't know of a way to break the connection that I spelled to us, but I can try.”
I lick my lips. “Does that connection take away any of my choices? Make me have to listen to you?”
“No. It just claims you as mine. Warlocks can cast a spell to read it and know that I have a claim on you. Like a contract, but there's no paper or signature. In my country a bride wears a ring that does the same thing.”
Of course the country that was supposed to be barbaric finds a way to connect a couple without branding a woman. They're the least barbaric people I know.
His cheeks pink in the way that I've come to adore. “I don't want to own you.”
I don't want to be owned either. I've barely gained freedom and no one can ever make me give it back. But I don't want him entirely gone either. When the idea comes to me, I don't hesitate to ask. “Is there a way for you to change it so it would say I'm protected, but not owned by you?”
He's silent a moment, his lips slowly turning upward. “I think I can do that. But before I do anything, you should know, I was sort of hoping to court you.”
“You mean, get married?”
The pink of his cheeks darkens. “Not right away. More like us spending time together.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what? You want to spend time with me?”
“Yes, I want to spend time with you. Yes, you can do the spell.” I take several breaths, but it doesn't help. My heart still flutters wildly. “And yes, please kiss me.”
I reach up, stepping on my tiptoes. He leans down. My pulse speeds as he moves closer, but time seems to slow. His lips hover over mine. Waiting. Soft puffs of air caress my lips. The fluttering in my chest becomes happy anticipation. He grabs my waist and pulls me the rest of the way to him. Our lips meet.
Gently and so sweet. I relish every second of him. Of being. Joy bubbles within me. My fingers twirl in his hair. I can feel his heart beating in time with mine. Too soon, our lips part.
Slowly, he puts me to the ground, his lips hovering over mine. He sneaks another soft peck. I reach up, about to go for another.
“Are you playing with Goldie?” Sally asks from the doorway.
I scoot away from Zade, my cheeks heating.
He grins. “Your sister was just introducing us.”
“Did she tell you I named him?”
“She did. Did she tell you, she wanted me to teach her how to ride him?”
Sally's eyes grow wider. “She does?”
“Yup. I'm thinking she needs to go get some breeches on so I can teach her.”
I laugh. “Sorry, trying them on once was enough for me. I found out women in Arllos use a side saddle. That's what I have.”
“No breeches?”
“No breeches.” I open Goldie's stall and grab the side saddle on the way out. “Think you can show me how this is supposed to go on her? I've been learning how to care for her, but we haven't covered anything about riding, yet.”
“I'd be happy to.” He grabs the saddle from me and turns to Sally. “What about you little miss? You want to try breeches?”
“Can I, Serena?”
“You can do whatever you desire. You'll get no demands from me.”
“Yay!” She races back toward the house.
As I watch her go, knowing my sisters are safe, I grab hold of Zade's arm. He brushes a kiss in my hair. This feels so right. Being here with the man I love. The man who loves me, but doesn't own me. Everything is mine.
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Acknowledgments
There are many people who helped make this book what it is. Any remaining faults are only my own, and without all these amazing people know that the faults would have about a thousand times more. No lie. Hopefully I haven't forgotten anyone, but if it happens, please accept my apologies for my airheadedness is showing.
Serena may have fourteen good sisters, but I have a fantastic one that's better than fourteen combined. Karen C. Eddington, thanks for supporting, encouraging, helping, chatting, and being there. Best sister a girl could have.
Thanks Mom and Dad and the rest of my family, for asking about my books over the years and patiently listening to be babble on, asking about how my writing is going, and Mom for being willing to read. I'm the person I am today because of your love and support. I love and appreciated you guys so much!
RaeChell Garret – you know that one time that I asked you to review my novel. And then I asked again, and again and again. And every time you were like, of course! Your advice was always spot on rockin'. Plus the countless other details I'm always asking your advice on. Well, now the book is published so you can stop worrying I'll ask again...except for the tiny problem of the next book. Maybe I'll get under control sooner this time. Maybe. But truly, thank you for than many, many hours you've put into my book. Your insight is invaluable. You are next!
Thank you to Ashely Maker who Read, Reviewed, and Raved then help me Resolve a lot of issues I didn't even realize hadn't made it into the book. Apparently you win the thank you 'R' words award. It's a good one!
C.M. We found each other late in the critiquing game for this book, but your review helped me tweak some important things and gave me hope that I finally got this where it needed to be. Thank you! Looking forward to swapping more in the future. And Annalea Eastley with poetsinprose.com, thanks for pointing out all the little things I missed and helping making things less awkward.
Writing.com, namely the Novel Critique forum, has been very helpful especially during the early years of serious writing. My first 'real' manuscript was, well, quite sad when I look back on it. Your words and advice taught me much. And for this book I got some insight from the Young Adult Club. Thanks guys!
Michelle Pasket. When I finally worked up the courage to ask for your help, you were so happy and willing. Then when I got your feedback, I kept wondering why I didn't ask sooner. Your thoughts and polish really helped my words to shine. There's so many things you caught that would have never crossed my mind. I am so grateful you are willing to share your talents! Thank you, thank you!
My dearest friend Loralie Hall. I already dedicated the whole book to you, but that's not nearly enough. And neither is this thanks. I'm getting all teary-eyed writing this (and more teary-eyed every time I edit it (seriously, like big, weepy tears that get weepier on each edit)) thinking of all you've done for me. Just know that the dedication says it all without saying enough.
My sweet, sweet children who put up with hours of mommy working and many more hours of mommy trying to get you to read and write your own books. Thank you. And a special thanks to my oldest who's getting to the point of being big enough to stay up 'late' reading and cuddling with me while I write. Those moments mean a lot to me.
The last, but biggest thanks to my husband. There's been innumerable hours devote to writing that could have been devoted to other things, like moping the floor (when was the last time I did that again?). Not once did you complain. In fact you only did the opposite. You encouraged me to follow my heart even when it meant no dinner on the table, a messy house, and countless other things left undone. Even offering to watch the kids when you have so many things to do yourself. But the biggest thing was the hours upon hours upon hours you patiently listened to me and bounced ideas back and forth. I love you forever and it doesn't seem long enough.
About the Author
Janeal Falor lives in Utah where she’s finally managed to live in the same house for more than five years without moving. In her spare time she reads books like they’re made of nuts covered in caramel and chocolate, cooks whatever strikes her fancy, and enjoys the outdoors. Her h
usband and three children try to keep up with her overactive imagination. Usually they settle for having dinner on the table, even if she’s still going on about the voices in her head.
