by Sky Winters
“There are some serious problems in the bathroom,” Orion said. “Not only is the place definitely not accessible to an older lady, but the tiles need to be grouted and some of them are breaking. If she steps on one of those jagged pieces that are falling off from the wall it could be a problem.”
“Oh, do we need to go get some grout then?” Lance asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I brought along my toolbox. I figured there was a lot of stuff that needed to be done around here. Can never be too safe.”
“Right, thanks,” Lance said.
Orion moved past him and back into the foyer, where he started digging through the large toolbox he had left on the floor there. He came back with a few tools and a medium-sized bucket of grout.
“Let’s go,” he said, leading the way upstairs to the bathroom. “How is it that your mom gets upstairs anyway? It seems like it would be really hard for her.”
“Yeah, actually she stays downstairs now. She’s been sleeping in the guest bedroom. I was thinking about taking all of her things down there for her. It would make it easier for her to do everything she needs to.”
“That’s a good idea for now,” Orion said thoughtfully. “But I think that there’s something better that we could do. At least for the long term. It’s a little bit expensive, but I could help you guys foot the bill. I know someone who could get us a discount.”
“What are you talking about?” Lance asked, bewildered. They were in the bathroom now, and Orion crouched on the floor, mixing the grout.
“We could get a machine that connects to the staircase. All she would have to do is sit in it and it would take her upstairs and downstairs.”
Lance’s eyes opened wider. “Wow, that sounds really amazing. But like you said, very expensive. Is there a way that we could do something like that, without having to pay so much?”
“No, like I said, I would be able to get you guys a discount. Don’t even worry about it.” Orion paused briefly before adding, “I like your mom.”
Orion had liked his mom for a very long time, and it touched Lance deeply to see just how far he was willing to go for her. And in a way, he couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with Lance as well. Was Orion feeling sorry about disappearing on him like that? Maybe he just wanted to apologize in his own small way, without actually having to bring up the painful issue of the past again.
The two men got to work, with Lance heading downstairs to the basement to dig up the spare tiles that had been leftover when his mother had redone the bathroom decades before. They were still nice tiles, she had good taste for timeless styles.
When Lance returned to the bathroom, he stopped in the doorway, taken aback by how gorgeous Orion looked. Orion had rolled up his shirtsleeves to his shoulders and his dark eyes were focused on the task at hand. His large muscles were bulging with the effort of prying up the broken tiles and disposing of them in a trash bag that was open beside him. He seemed oblivious to Lance, gawking in the doorway. It was funny how time could change so many things, and yet do nothing to change the way he was fascinated with Orion.
“Well don’t just stand there,” Orion said finally, without looking up from what he was doing. “Let’s get to work.”
Chapter 10
Lance and Orion worked well into the night together, only stopping for water breaks and to make sure that his mother was fed and comfortable. At about nine o’clock, Lance’s stomach gurgled loudly and Orion laughed.
“Probably about time for dinner break. You think your mom could make it on her own for an hour?”
“Sure,” Lance said. “We should let her know we’re going though.”
“Well no shit,” Orion said, but he was smiling good-naturedly.
It had been strange working with Orion that day. They didn’t speak very much, and there was a lot of tension between them. Lance wasn’t quite sure what the cause of it was, but he did know that every time he looked at Orion, it filled him with a painful nostalgia that made him wish he had never tried to kiss him. Maybe things between them would’ve been different. It would’ve been nice to have a friend over all those years.
“Orion and I are going to go have some dinner,” Lance said to his mother, kissing her on the forehead.
“Oh good, I’ve been worried about you boys. It’s unhealthy for you to be working so hard without anything in your stomachs.”
“Don’t worry, we’re doing all right. And you won’t even recognize the bathroom.”
“Oh sweetheart, I’m not sure I’ll be able to get up those stairs anytime soon,” his mother said with a wistful smile. “But I’m sure you did a wonderful job.”
“Thanks Ma,” Lance said, his heart constricting painfully.
It was still strange to see his mother so frail. The doctor said she should start feeling better as she got over her illness and started to put on weight again, and it would be nice to see her going back to normal again. But it was possible that this was the new normal and he was just going to have to get used to it. The older people got, the more vulnerable they became. That was just a fact of life.
“Come on Lance, I’m starving,” Orion called from the foyer. “Good night Mrs. Foster. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Lance was surprised by how forwardly Orion invited himself back. He had been wondering how to broach the subject of continuing with the home improvement projects. He didn’t want to assume that Orion was going to keep helping him out, but at the same time, it was going to be difficult to finish a lot of the projects without him. It was a relief to know that he was already planning on coming back. Although another day of that much tension was probably going to kill him.
“Coming,” Lance said, smiling at his mother before he disappeared out the door.
“Do you mind driving?” Orion asked. “I didn’t bring my bike today. I just walked. I don’t want to attract any unnecessary attention to your mom’s house. Sometimes the people around here can be a little strange about whoever is affiliated with the gang.”
“Thanks for thinking about that for her,” Lance said, “but I don’t think either one of us mind being affiliated with you.”
He regretted it as soon as he said it, because it made him sound vulnerable or weak, or maybe like he was still interested in Orion. He didn’t want Orion to feel uncomfortable around him. Before he had a chance to read Orion’s expression, the man had already turned away.
“My car’s in the garage,” Lance said, quickly trying to draw attention away from what he’d said and move back to the original question. “Do you mind waiting here while I pull it out?”
Orion raised an eyebrow at Lance as if he was stupid. “Nope.”
“Cool,” Lance said, his face burning furiously as he jogged to the garage.
Things with Orion were always complicated. It would be better if he didn’t keep putting his foot in his mouth. But depending on what they were going to do for dinner, he was going to have ample opportunity. Lance sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Chapter 11
Lance and Orion drove in silence until Orion signaled for Lance to stop. He pulled into the parking lot of an old Steiner he had assumed would have gone out of business by the time he came back to Winston. But lo and behold, there it was, looking no different than it had the entire time Lance was growing up. It seemed it was one of the fixtures of this town and it wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
“Remember how we used to come here after school on Fridays?” Orion said with a quiet laugh. He was gazing out the window of Lance’s car, wistfully thinking about the past. It had been a long time, but the moments that they shared at the diner had been the single greatest thing about high school.
“Yeah, and Big Dave would always bring us an extra order of fries for free. I guess he appreciated our business.”
Orion snorted. “Yeah, that and he was terrified of my father. I always wondered if he was just sucking up.”
This sur
prised Lance. He had known that Orion’s father had held sway over the town, but he hadn’t often considered what it might be like for some of the local entrepreneurs with such a powerful biker gang in town. Had Dave actually been scared of Orion and the gang?
“Or maybe he just really liked us kids,” Lance said, though now he wasn’t so sure.
“Sure. The only reason I wonder is because he sometimes showed an interest in the gang, but he never really had the guts to commit. My father always turned him down for one reason or another anyway. There’s a special quality that we look for in our men.”
“What kind of quality?”
Orion turned to look at him, and for a moment Lance could have sworn that he was more animal than human. It was eerie, but intriguing. He almost looked like the carving of a bear cub that he had done for Lance and the drama club.
“There’s a certain kind of adaptability that our gang looks for in a person. That’s all. I like Dave, he has good intentions. I still wouldn’t let him in the gang though. It doesn’t seem right. I don’t think that he would be a match for some of the kinds of people we deal with.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Orion opened the car door and stepped out. Lance followed suit, again, instinctively locking the door behind him. Now he had more of a reason to, after nearly being attacked by the gang that Orion was just talking about. He wasn’t sure he liked them, but the way that Orion spoke about them was full of pride. It made it hard not to feel some sense of respect towards them.
“I didn’t know that you wanted to be part of the gang,” Lance said before they went inside.
Orion cast a sidelong look at him, his dark, brooding eyes flashing with an emotion Lance knew all too well. Pain.
“It’s not really something you want or don’t want. It’s something you’re born into.”
He seemed eager to drop the subject, so Lance didn’t say anything else as they stepped through the door.
“Well I’ll be!” Big Dave exclaimed, lifting his glasses off his nose to squint over at Orion and Lance. “Lance Foster came back to ol’ Winston after all!”
Lance couldn’t help but smile as the round little man came forward and wrapped him in a big bear hug.
“And Orion! Welcome, welcome. To both of you.”
Big Dave’s genial, bright red face seemed to shine with pure joy as he hustled the men to the corner booth, where they had enjoyed some of their most meaningful discussions as young men. It wasn’t until he sat down on the red leather seat, with Orion grinning across from him, that Lance realized suddenly, and without a doubt, that he was home.
Chapter 12
The table was covered with food; Big Dave was feeling festive and had brought out one of everything on the menu. Lance and Orion were gorging themselves, sharing everything they had just like they had always done, silverware clattering as they ate.
In between bites, conversation began to arise, and Lance soon learned that he had underestimated his childhood friend.
“Do you remember the summer after graduation?” Orion asked, his pensive eyes steady on Lance.
“Of course,” Lance said. He thought of it often, the painful memory of being abandoned by his best and closest friend. He had been haunted every day by the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life, and he still wasn’t sure there was anything that could be done to fix it.
“Well… I got a letter. Saying I was accepted into a school in Seattle.”
“What? Really?” Lance lowered his fork to his plate, gaping in awe at Orion. Of course he had made it into a good school. But he had always wondered what had become of his friend.
“It was a trade school. For people who are good with their hands and math and things like that.”
Orion was a genius with numbers and dimensions as far as Lance was concerned, but he never seemed too eager to flaunt it to anybody else. And forget about homework. The fact that he’d made it into a school at all was exciting.
“That’s great,” Lance said, trying to organize all of the different thoughts that were bombarding him. “Congratulations!”
“Sure, that would have been nice to hear if I had been allowed to go,” Orion said, smiling bitterly down at his plate.
“What do you mean?” Lance asked. Surely Orion’s father was an ass, but to prevent his own child from making something better of himself? That seemed terrible to the point of fictional.
“He had other plans for me,” Orion said, glancing up at Big Dave as if to gauge whether or not he was listening. “He made me… leave.”
Lance’s heart thudded hard in his chest. Orion’s dad had made him leave. It was hard to process, but it sounded a lot like Orion was telling him that he hadn’t been abandoned—at least not by choice. And not because of anything to do with the kiss they had shared on the day of their high school graduation.
“Where did you go?” Lance asked, his voice wavering.
Just then, Big Dave interrupted them by setting down two huge glasses, full to the brim with milkshake.
“This might just be the best day of my life,” Lance said, laughing. He wasn’t sure he could handle the truth of what Orion was telling him yet. To think that he had spent ten years of his life agonizing over what might have ultimately turned out to be a silly misunderstanding seemed too much to hope for.
“Good! Welcome home, Lance. Don’t be a stranger.”
Just like everybody else, Big Dave had aged and changed. He was plumper now, and his once abundant hair was thinning and grey. But he still carried with him a youthful spark that made it a pleasure to be around. For the millionth time, Lance felt ashamed of himself for being away from home for so long. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed it until he was back.
“I won’t,” Lance promised. And he meant it. He wouldn’t go another ten years about seeing the people who had meant so much to him as he grew up and became the person that he was. Although the homophobia and closemindedness could be suffocating, that didn’t mean that he had to abandon everybody who was meaningful to him the way that he had. It had been a self-preservation tactic that he had used to maintain his independence and defend his identity. But that didn’t mean that it was okay to turn his back on the people who loved him.
“I want to show you something,” Orion said once they left the diner.
Lance was already close to tears. He wasn’t sure that he could handle any more emotional surprises. But it seemed impossible to turn Orion down. Especially after so long. When he had so many questions.
“Okay,” Lance said nervously. He wanted to get home, and use his mother as an excuse to run away from Orion the way he’d thought that Orion had run away from him. He needed time to process what Orion had told him.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” Orion said. There it was again. His uncanny ability to sense exactly what Lance was feeling. He had a feeling that if they were actually lovers it would either be incredible or it would drive him crazy.
“Okay, are we driving north or south?” Lance asked, unlocking his car.
“We’re not driving anywhere. We’re going to walk there.”
Lance furrowed his eyebrows. What was going on? They were already close to the outskirts of town as it was. Nothing else was out there except a lot of forest land. If Orion was leading Lance into the wilderness alone, it could be a set up. His gang of bikers could be there waiting to pounce when he was the most vulnerable. And then his mother would really be in trouble. Nobody else would be able to take care of her.
But why was he doubting Orion after all this time? They had spent the entire day together fixing the house up. Why would Orion do anything to hurt him now, when he could have done it a lot sooner and without helping him make his mother’s life easier? He seemed to genuinely care for her.
Despite his reservations, Lance hurried to catch up to Orion, who had already started walking. He was a tall, graceful man, who took long strides as he moved. There was something so raw about him. Almost primal. It gav
e Lance shivers to see him moving through the darkness as silver moonlight passed over through the shadows of the trees. He wished that he could be more like Orion. More rugged and manly. But he was the kind of guy who liked to wear sweaters and do crossword puzzles. He was definitely no match for Orion and his hands-on approach to the world.
After what seemed like an eternity of marching through the darkness, with a deep feeling of foreboding building in Lance’s chest, Orion finally stopped.
“This is it.”
Lance looked around. He didn’t see anything different about where they were now compared to the forest they’d walked through. “What is it?”
“On the night of our graduation. This is where he left me.”
Chapter 13
Lance was too shocked to move as a torrent of words began to pour from Orion’s mouth. It was as if a dam had been broken, and ten years’ worth of words came out.
“My family has a secret, a secret that we share with the rest of the gang. We’re bikers because we’re the only ones who would protect each other. We are the only ones who can help ourselves. I don’t expect you to understand, but my father, despite being a cruel man, only wanted what was best for me. He wanted me to be the best version of myself that I could be, and after I was finally finished with school, he couldn’t wait another second.”
Orion turned his back on Lance for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t want you to think it was about you. I went home the night after graduation, and I wanted to call you right away, but before I had the chance, my father summoned me. And when my father summons you, you go. Without hesitation. He had a way of knowing whether or not he was being obeyed, and he was very good at enforcing his discipline upon us all.”
“What did he do to you?” Lance whispered. The thought of young Orion being so browbeaten by his father was horrifying. He had always suspected, but hearing the words was a new experience entirely.
“He told me that it was time for me to be a man. That I had a birthright I had to claim. And it was now or never. There was no time for any more school. The rest of my life was predetermined for me. And I had to accept it.”
