by Jayne Rylon
“So…would you decorate it for me? In kind of a tattoo style?”
“What?” She was shocked. He’d trust her with something that important? “I…Lucas, I don’t have any training or anything. I just do this for the hell of it. What if I fuck it up?”
“First, it couldn’t be any fuglier than this. Second, I’m even more impressed that you’ve taught yourself how to do this.” He leaned in for a lingering kiss. “You’re a natural, E. I believe in you. How about you just stare at it for a while and see what you come up with? If it speaks to you, do it. If not, that’s okay too.”
“Actually, it’s kind of a weird thing.” She shrugged one shoulder. “That is how it happens for me. It’s like I can sense things in a different way than I used to and once I have that enhanced representation in my mind, I can copy it down on paper just the way I see it. I know that’s bizarre—”
“More like incredible, E. In the best sense of the word.” Lucas studied her as if she might have some other random superpowers. “Do your doctors have any idea why that happened to you?”
“Obviously, nothing concrete. A few theories, though. The one that makes the most sense to me?”
“Yeah?”
“I used to do a lot of things to put my mind somewhere else. You know, during…” She swallowed hard and his arms came around her immediately.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. I was just curious.”
“There isn’t much more to say. Just that I think I might have unlocked part of my brain I never used before. It became my safe place. Where everything around me seemed as enticing as my reality was repulsive.”
“I guess we can sometimes be a lot stronger than we ever suspected we were capable of, when we’re challenged by life.” He sighed.
“You’re right about that.” She thought of how he’d coped. Sure, they were both working on shit, but they’d done pretty damn well, considering.
“Well, I think it’s a phenomenal gift, E. I’d really love if you’d use it on me. Please?”
He surprised and thrilled her by reaching down and doffing his prosthesis all on his own. As if he finally was sure it didn’t bother her and wouldn’t change what she thought of him to see him as he was and would always be from now on.
That kind of courage alone deserved to be recognized.
And if it would make things easier for him…
“Okay. Let me see what comes to mind. Or do you have a design you’re thinking of?” she asked.
“I’m open. Do whatever you like.”
Lucas sat there and watched her spin his foot around in her hand, cataloging the unique curves and bumps. She didn’t know how long she’d been there, letting inspiration strike when he stood.
To her surprise, he hopped into the sunroom and retrieved her supplies, bringing them back without even flinching as she smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
She hoped he realized she meant for trusting her more than for his fetching.
“I’m gonna leave you alone so you can work.” He kissed her quickly so neither of them could get out of hand.
“Wait…” She hated to admit she liked having him near.
“I’m not going far.” He pointed to the air beneath his shin.
A laugh bubbled up from the region of her heart. They really were a hot mess. One she was beginning to appreciate. Fucked up, yet perfectly so.
“Just going to exercise some while you’re doing your thing. I’ve been slacking on my routines since you’ve been here.” He grinned at her. “Wouldn’t want to go all flabby on you.”
“As if.” She snorted. “Besides, you’ve been working out plenty, just in different ways.”
“Hmm, that’s true.” His smile warmed her entire body. “Maybe we’ll have to get some more of that cardio in later.”
“I’m not opposed.”
“Wench, stop distracting me.” He put his hands up and gripped the top of the doorframe. Then he bent his knees to keep his full leg from touching the ground. She ogled his rippling muscles as he began to pull himself up then lower his entire body in a controlled descent before reversing and doing it again.
Who the hell could do that? So many times in a row?
She probably had enough upper-arm strength to do half of one. If he held her so she started at the top then fell straight down and that somehow counted. His abilities were as impressive to her as hers had seemed to him.
“Go on, do your thing and I’ll do mine,” he said between motions.
She kind of liked the idea of that. Being together, yet independent. So she concentrated as hard as she could on the colors and shapes swirling through her mind when she studied his socket from every angle.
A while later, a thought occurred to her.
“Hey, Lucas,” she called to him without pausing her drawing.
“Yeah, E?” He paused midcrunch to look at her.
Lord, that man. Glistening muscles, killer smile and a never-quit attitude—he was about to make her drop his leg and go get him sweaty the old-fashioned way instead.
“What do you need?” he asked again.
“When you’re done showing off over there, would you mind doing the laundry? I only bought a few things at the mall and they’re mostly dirty now. Pretty soon I’m going to be wandering around here naked.”
“In that case…hell no. I won’t do it.” Lucas grinned at her as he rose and went back to his pull-ups, which he’d been rotating in between other exercises. He kept raising and lowering his entire body as if he were lifting a bottle of beer on a lazy summer afternoon. No wonder he was so damn solid. He counted down ten more repetitions then dropped to the floor on his good leg with a slight crouch that reminded her of a jungle cat on the prowl.
But then he glanced over at his prosthesis in her hands, the initial ink from her markers damp and very smudgeable at this stage.
“Oh no. No way.” She shook her head. “You’re not messing this up. I think it might not totally suck.”
From the other side of the room he smiled at her. “I like that you never pull your punches.”
“You’re not a baby. You’re a very grown-ass man.” She appraised his sweaty body. “I’m sure you’ll think of something. Didn’t I see some forearm crutches upstairs?”
“Yes, but I hate them. I’d rather just do it my way.”
“Okie dokie.” She smiled over her shoulder at him. “I don’t care how you do it. I’d just like some clean panties, please.”
“Fine, fine. If you insist. I’m running low on stump socks anyway.” Lucas grunted then spun around. He did his hopping thing over to the stairs, grumbling the whole way. “It’s all fun and games until my shorts fall down. I think I need some fucking suspenders.”
She was as adamantly opposed to that idea as he’d been to providing her with clean clothes to cover up. Let his shorts drop. Why put all that effort into a body you weren’t going to show off?
Then again, she liked that she was the only woman who got to enjoy it.
At least for now.
She didn’t have anything against her polyamorous friends who’d elected to live in a committed ménage. Or the nontraditional people she’d met through Lily’s club, who found their peace in any number of consensual sexual arrangements.
Hell, she’d half expected her brother to tell her he was hoping for something unconventional with Shari and Ben, though he never did. At least, he hadn’t yet.
Still, she found herself possessive.
Maybe because of the things that had happened to her. Or maybe simply because that’s the way she was wired. Either way, she hoped to keep Lucas exclusively hers for a while longer yet.
Daydreaming about what might develop between them, she let her mind wander. Her hands flashed, selecting different markers, picking up on a variety of his things surroundin
g them to guide her. The indigo wine bottle holding the flower she’d picked earlier. His forest-green hand towels. The deep chocolate of his eyes.
She tried to take the essence of him and infuse it into the design.
If she added a bird here or there to ride the currents of him—lifted up on his spirit—well, that sure was a coincidence, wasn’t it?
Ellie grinned as she thought of her own tattoo and hoped he appreciated the art she’d made representing them.
The laundry had been done, dried and folded by the time she raised her head.
The sun had advanced well beyond the zenith for the day. How had so much time gone by?
“Lucas?” she called.
“Right here, E.” He waved at her from the sunroom, where he was reading something on his tablet. “Finished?”
“I think so.”
She rubbed her eyes then looked for the first time at what she’d created, really seeing what she’d produced.
Huh.
Lucas hurried to her side, clearly curious. When he saw what she’d made for him to wear, he was speechless. The first time she could say that about him.
He picked up his prosthesis and admired it from every angle.
She might have been nervous if it weren’t for the absolute joy shining in his eyes.
It would blend well with the rest of his tattoos.
And there was no way he could mistake her intent.
“I love it, E.” He put it down carefully then reached out to frame her face in his hands. Bringing them together, he bestowed the absolute richest kiss she’d ever shared with a man. He infused every bit of his appreciation, attraction and awe for her into that one interaction. “I love—”
The shrill beeping of her phone made them jump, breaking apart. He’d set it to the most obnoxious ringtone possible so that they wouldn’t miss it when the crooks made contact.
Ellie’s heart raced then turned to stone in her chest.
“We don’t have to do this,” he said.
They both knew that was a lie. They were in too deep already to make it out unscathed.
“I’m going to answer it on speakerphone.” She repeated the steps they’d drilled over and over until she knew them by heart.
“Go ahead.” Lucas’s smile had already been erased.
Those fuckers.
They would pay for ruining his moment.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Ellie.” It was Yankees guy.
“I was starting to think you’d forgotten us,” she said, terser than she’d planned to be.
“Not likely.” He huffed. “You’re my new best friend. In fact, I like you so much I’m sending a limo for you and your boyfriend. Tomorrow—8:00 p.m. sharp. At the end of the night, we’ll all catch a ride back together. Sound fun?”
The getaway car! He was going to make them ride in it.
No. She shook herself. The Men in Blue were going to squash the operation long before then.
Well, that was fine by her. They’d put away the criminals in style. She was determined to do nothing less. Hopefully, as quickly and painlessly as the Men in Blue forecasted, so that she could get back to figuring things out with Lucas.
Except, when the job was done, where would that leave them?
Ellie finished making arrangements with the Yankees fan then disconnected. It’d only taken a few seconds, but she felt like those moments had changed her life irrevocably.
Either Lucas could sense her frazzled nerves or he felt it too.
“Come on.” He held her close, rocking her back and forth before kissing the top of her head. “Give me a couple minutes to relay the details to the guys and then I want to go check out my new hammock with you. Sound good?”
When she nodded, he collected her masterpiece, put it back on and then called the Men in Blue.
Afterward, he used some spray sealant from his boathouse to lock in her design before anything could damage it. She wished he could slather them in the same protective coating.
They spent the rest of the day cuddled together, being blasted by the sun that cured his prosthesis, so that neither of them could regress into darkness.
Swaying gently lulled her, but nothing could replace the easiness of the morning they’d shared together. It had been a glimpse of what their life could be like if the world would stop intruding. Lucas’s utter stillness and the fact that he was content to clutch her to him for hours, instead of making a move on her, made her fairly sure that his second thoughts were screaming at least as loudly as hers.
Unfortunately, they’d given their word. And neither of them was the type of person to go back on that. They’d simply have to survive. At least their odds were better together than apart.
Chapter Fifteen
Ellie paced the length of the front porch in her sapphire evening gown. If they hadn’t been about to do something incredibly dangerous, she might have been more appreciative of the beautiful dress Lily had snuck her. It was some cunning contraption made of nude fabric beneath a layer of rhinestone-studded navy lace.
It almost made her look naked beneath the sparkles, which were clumped over her important bits, supposedly to protect her modesty.
The illusion seemed to work when Lucas joined her outside and hissed a curse beneath his breath.
“Is that a good thing?” She peeked up at him from under the fake lashes she’d added to the rest of her extravagant makeup. Though she never went to these extremes, her goal tonight was to be as distracting as possible. The bad guys thought she was misdirecting the casino workers, but hopefully she was going to keep the goons from catching on to their imminent demise instead.
“Fuck yes. You look gorgeous.” He strode to her, pressing her against the railing when he kissed her, smudging some of her lipstick onto his own mouth.
She smiled as she wiped it off with her thumb.
“Thanks.” She admired his suit—cut to hug his narrow waist and flare out to the broad expanse of his shoulders. He would make women drool as he strode past. “You look pretty sexy yourself.”
He grinned at her. “You know, normally I would have been cool with this getup. Now, I’m actually bummed I can’t show off my leg. It looks so kick-ass.”
There wasn’t anything he could have said to make her happier than that. Finally, he was becoming comfortable in his own skin. The customization was only the final step.
Lucas kept staring at her, so she shimmied to allow the reflections of the porch lights to twinkle in the dusk.
“Seriously, E. This color. Damn. It reminds me of your eyes when I’m buried inside you.”
“You mean my crazy eyes?”
“Don’t. Don’t do that. They’re part of you. One I adore.” He took her and held her close. “In fact, I can’t wait until we’re home, safe, and I can see them again.”
“So you’re planning on me coming back here, even when we’re through with this?” She couldn’t believe she’d opened that can of worms right before they had to do this. Focus!
“You weren’t?” He frowned.
Before she could tell him that she wanted to but hadn’t been sure about her extended welcome, a piercing alarm cut through the evening, followed by a double blink of the porch lights.
“What was that?” She looked around as if there’d be a faulty wire jutting from the wall.
“A car. They just pulled through the gate.”
“And you’re sure they’re not going to know who you are?” She didn’t mean to question him. It was more that she was so afraid something terrible would happen to him because she’d agreed to this.
“They’ll know Lucas Barnes lives here. I’m sure they’ll also have uncovered my official military history. The completely ordinary one that’s a cover for where I was all those years. They have no idea about who I really am, my codename or the agency I worked for.
No one does. That’s why I’ve hidden my leg from them. I don’t want them to have the one clue that could link you and I and my undercover work. Right now they probably think you’re with me since we’re sort of neighbors, and I’m ex-military. It’s entirely plausible that we could have bumped into each other—out jogging or at the local grocery store, whatever—become friends, and that you would have come to me when you needed help because I’m a soldier. Or used to be, anyway.”
“Okay.” She swallowed hard, her palms sweating instantly.
“You’ve got this, E.” He came near to her and braced his palms on her shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. “All you’ve got to do is climb in the car, look beautiful—which isn’t a problem—and get out at the casino. We’ll head for the table games, hang out for an hour or two while the cops finish up their business, then bum a ride home off one of them. I mean, have them take you to your house if that’s what you want. But you’re welcome here. Always.”
“Lucas—”
“You don’t have to make your decision now. See how the night goes and you can choose then. It would be normal to be exhausted after the adrenaline wears off.” He smiled as he presented an out for her. This time it didn’t quite reach his eyes. She hadn’t meant to inspire misgivings.
The opportunity to set things right vanished when headlights shone directly on her as a limo pulled into the gravel lot at the top of the driveway. In the spotlight, every tiny move was highlighted. And her dress probably blinded the driver.
Oops.
“Come on, E.” He held out his arm to her as if they were really off to some luxurious formal event.
She couldn’t help but grin as she threaded her hand through the gap between his elbow and his ribs. When they got to the stairs, he stepped down then acted as though their careful descent was due to her shoes or the restrictive skirt of her dress, instead of masking his slightly uneven gait.
In reality, she was wearing flats. Ellie had learned that lesson the hard way, thanks. And her dress was extremely comfortable since the entire thing stretched and flowed. Probably not an accident either, just in case she had to run or duck for cover.
